Jean | they/them | 23 | tme | white made a separate account just so i could interact with dragon age tumblr. send help 😭 transmisogynists and racists fuck off.
currently on year 2 of dragon age hyperfixation, which is what this blog will mostly be. other interests include mass effect, rogue trader, baldur's gate 3, cyberpunk, star trek, and others i'm sure i'm forgetting.
i had to make a new account because my decade-old one was bugged and staff ignored 10+ bug reports, so i'm starting fresh! might make sideblogs later, but rn it'll all be jumbled together LOL.
you can find me here on ao3 and here on artfight. only one dragon age fic rn but that'll change, i have 8 wips currently.
ocs beneath the cut!
dao ocs:
- Riha Brosca (Blue World State) (rogue. dual-wielding assassin/duelist. transbian. leliana romancer. doesn't know what to do with herself after origins bc she doesn't give a shit about curing her blight. bestie: shale)
- Laurel Surana (Red World State) (mage. spirit healer who freezes people a lot. bisexual but like a little weird about it. alistair romancer. gets pregnant just after defeating the archdemon and gets kinda divorced about it. bestie: leliana)
da2 ocs:
- Maeve Hawke (Yellow World State) (rogue. archer assassin. transbian. isabela romancer. blue hawke. helps isabela found the lords of fortune. she's the reason the pirate faction is too niceys sorry everyone. bestie: varric)
- Ryder Hawke (Blue World State) (two-handed fighter. reaver. bisexual trans man but like he's very weird about it. merrill romancer. red hawke. adoptive father of adani thorne. bestie: fenris)
dai ocs:
- Sumal Adaar (Blue World State) (rogue. tempest archer. bisexual. iron bull romancer. psychologically incapable of subbing. atheist but likes the power of being inquisitor so like it's fine w/ her. bestie: cullen)
- Garan Lavellan (Yellow World State) (two-handed fighter. reaver. gay and nonbinary. gets misgendered constantly in the inquisition and it's not helping the whole kidnapping situation. dorian romancer. bestie: varric)
datv ocs:
- Adani Thorne (Blue World State) (staff-wielding evoker mage. elf. bisexual and nonbinary. davrin romancer. adopted by ryder and merrill after escaping the gallows during the uprising. only joined wardens to avoid execution by templars.)
- Shay Aldwir (Yellow World State) (veil ranger archer. half-elf, half-human. nonbinary lesbian. lace romancer. probably the normalest most well-adjusted person in this list besides the background trauma of being a half-elf nonmage from the tevinter imperium.)
cyberpunk ocs:
- Veasna (nomad background. bisexual. sniper. judy romancer. goody two-shoes. tries to cooperate with johnny but she doesn't like how mean he is. the star ending.)
- Val (corpo background. straight. river romancer. cutthroat netrunner & techie. cheats on river with johnny. the sun ending.)
rt ocs:
- Malia von Valancius (voidborn sanctioned psyker & honestly pretty normal about it. iconoclast. heinrix romancer. asks her pet god to cut the sector off from the rest of the imperium so she can have a little socialist utopia <3)
bg3 ocs:
- Psalm (zariel tiefling. paladin of lathander. oath of devotion. lawful good. bisexual. wyll romancer. literally the world's niceyest person except when she's threatening to kill evildoers. joins wyll in hell. bestie: karlach)
- Hazel (half high elf, half human. wild magic sorcerer. true neutral. straight. gale romancer. hates magic; just wants to go back to being a math teacher. cannot get this shit over with fast enough. joins gale in waterdeep. bestie: halsin)
the thing is that i think morrigan and wynne don't even realize that they are painful mirrors for each other and if they knew it would be even worse. wynne demonstrates p clearly, at least to me, that she learned v little from her failure w aneirin — or quite frankly, what she learned, she feels isn't worth applying to morrigan. that has everything to do w the fact that morrigan is a young woman.
when wynne tells a morrigan-romancing warden that morrigan is 'a maleficar' who will 'use [the warden] for her own ends', she has no idea that morrigan indeed plans on convincing one of the wardens to impregnate her. i place morrigan around 19, which is the age wynne was when aneirin was apprenticed to her. a year after aneurin disappeared, wynne found out she was pregnant.
there are two key dialogues to me between morrigan and wynne. the first is this one:
Wynne: I have been thinking about what you said, Morrigan. About the Circle.
Morrigan: Allow me to leap to the supposition that you disagree.
Wynne: Let us say that the Circle did not exist. What sort of a world would you envision for mages? Would you advocate a return to the days of the Imperium?
Morrigan: I advocate nothing. Nature dictates that the strong survive, if they have the will.
Wynne: So you prefer a life of hardship and fear, so long as you believe you aren't tethered and free to do as you wish.
Morrigan: That is so.
Wynne: But are you not here because your mother wished you to be?
Morrigan: I could leave if I desired to.
Wynne: Of course. It simply strikes me as odd that one who believes in such freedom has never spent any time alone and unprotected.
like it's not that wynne looks at morrigan and sees only a manipulative temptress bent on vaguely evil ends. this dialogue reads to me as tho she is fully capable of recognizing that morrigan is a) deeply naive and b) totally unprepared for the world that wynne believes eats up vulnerable young mages like her lost apprentice. i think there's also the implication here that wynne understands that flemeth is not a particularly good mother, and while she doesn't approve of killing flemeth, you can garner a whopping -5 disapproval, the highest of everyone, for letting flemeth go but telling morrigan that she's dead.
the second dialogue is this one:
Morrigan: I have spent time alone and unprotected.
Wynne: I'm sorry, what?
Morrigan: You said earlier that I had spent no time alone, I have. I left the wilds more than once when I was young to seek more of the world of men.
Wynne: Did you return to the Wilds on your own? Or did your mother seek you out?
Morrigan: She would never leave the Wilds. I returned on my own. The world of man… is dangerous.
Wynne: And frightening, I imagine. Especially for someone ill-prepared for it.
Morrigan: But the Circle is no place of safety. 'Tis a place of subjugation.
Wynne: Is it? It is by no means perfect, I agree, but consider the alternative. At least other mages can understand our struggle. We can help each other.
Morrigan: It is… something to consider, I suppose.
Wynne: Well that's certainly something.
here, morrigan kind of accidentally admits that she was rattled by what wynne said to her, and while she's trying to assert her independence, what she's describing is neglect. wynne picks up on that. wynne had a community of mages who could understand her struggle. morrigan had flemeth, and flemeth let morrigan go out on her own 'ill-prepared'.
but when wynne talks to a morrigan-romancing warden, even tho morrigan's romance involves her getting extremely reluctant abt physical intimacy, wynne frames the relationship as she sees it as one where morrigan is constantly lusting after the warden — wynne says it's 'as though [morrigan] has completely forgotten there's anything of [the warden] above the waist.' and wynne also confronts morrigan about the romance:
Morrigan: You do not approve of me, do you?
Wynne: You have to ask? I didn't realize I was being subtle.
Morrigan: Ah, the old cat still has her claws, I see. And you also do not approve of my involvement with our stalwart Grey Warden.
Wynne: You are dangerous, Morrigan. Dangerous, cunning and thoroughly deceitful. But you are beautiful, and he is young. It's a pity he doesn't know any better.
Morrigan: Why, Wynne, I do believe that is the first time you have ever offered a compliment. Thank you.
Wynne: Only you would take that as a compliment.
Morrigan: Listen, old woman. what happens between myself and him is not your concern. You can approve or not approve as you wish, but this is one thing you cannot influence and mold to your liking.
Wynne: So you say. I do hope that one day soon you will discover that neither is he.
Morrigan: You mistake my intent, old cat. And you are a fool.
Wynne: Am I? Well, let's hope so.
wynne was a young mage who was taken advantage of by someone w far more power than her, and it resulted in a tragedy. granted, not every warden is necessarily less vulnerable than morrigan, but every warden that has the capability to knock morrigan up will suffer none of the consequences of a pregnancy endured alone.
wynne can recognize that morrigan, for all her protestations, was ultimate a child w an inadequate protector — not unlike aneurin, whose fate she agonizes over even tho she's taking on more guilt than is necessary. but wynne connects morrigan's beauty w how dangerous wynne believes morrigan to be. morrigan at one point snipes that she 'is still young, beautiful, and my life is [her] own while [wynne is] bound to that circle', but it's clear that she feels her beauty gives her status. for wynne, it's a weapon in morrigan's arsenal.
the templar who knocked wynne up writes her an incredibly nasty letter that wynne keeps until her death. it reads:
it's a good thing we haven't spoken much since my return. anger put my mind in disarray and civility would have been damn near impossible. but it is time, and perhaps in writing, i can put into words what i find difficult to say in person.
you told me you had no choice but to let them take him. tell that to yourself if you must; we both know it isn't true. you had a choice from the very start. from the moment you found out. but you withheld knowledge of my own son from me because you knew i would have found a way. you knew i would have given up the order for the both of you. so blame my love for the chantry, the templars, my vows, if it helps you live with it. maintain the fiction that you couldn't drag me down with you. pretend that you are the martyred party. i'll always know the truth: you chose your place in the circle over your own son. your belief that perfect obedience could win a mage the trust of the chantry was more precious to you than what we had. you decided to be helpless when you had a choice to fight. it wasn't your decision to make. he was mine, too. the chantry may have taken him, but you kept him from me.
and idk. i just think this is all connected.
wynne never finds out that morrigan was essentially groomed into becoming a vessel. she might have wanted an old god's power; she might have wanted some way of protecting herself from flemeth. it is nevertheless overwhelmingly clear that morrigan has zero positive associations with motherhood, and the fact that she manages to become a loving parent to kieran is always in spite of flemeth. she didn't want to be pregnant. flemeth sent her w the wardens so that she would get pregnant.
it's not rly clear why wynne kept the pregnancy if she was so concerned abt her 'place in the circle.' but she did! and it resulted in her child being forcibly taken from her by the ppl who groomed her into devastating compliance. motherhood is no less fraught for wynne than it is for morrigan.
wynne looks at the warden and morrigan and knows the consequences of reckless, ill-advised sex. but i think she's so filled w self-loathing over the circumstances of her own reckless, ill-advised sex that she can't bring herself to see that morrigan is still young and vulnerable — as she was when she was a child encountering a world she wasn't prepared for — even if wynne doesn't know the full extent of it. morrigan has to be the aggressor. morrigan has to be the liar. a male warden is simply too in the thrall of morrigan's beauty to have much agency from wynne's perspective.
#a lot to contemplar re: the patriarchy here too#how wynne sees the male warden as a victim of morrigan's temptations but can't look beyond morrigan's implied danger#to see that she's much more of a victim of the system/her own mother#idk i think a lot about how the chantry is a matriarchy but the overall world of thedas is heavily patriarchal still#the average maker fearing man has SO much disdain for women considering how much power they hold in the church#adds something to all this i think
i would go so far as to say that rather than adding to my analysis, it kind of just is my analysis, just worded much more succinctly and directly lol. wynne's internalized misogyny is reworked self-hatred for having been victimized as a young woman. which women are deserving of her hard-earned advice (the warden) and which are lost causes (morrigan) is an interesting divide to me, bc in both cases, the way she treats younger women is all the more jarring when she tries to frame it as her doing the warden a kindness.
it's a familiar unease. frequently, older women who have clearly decided that the horrible things that happened to them weren't the result of men choosing to abuse them but their own failure to prevent men's abuse will try to protect younger women by telling them to be smarter/more modest/more accommodating/better at Being A Woman. and if smth horrible still happens to that younger woman, it then follows that it's her fault, bc she could have avoided it. we've all prob seen it or experienced it, just stating it explicitly.
full disclosure that i haven't played thru all the romances so i am limited to checking youtube playthrus, but i do know that her 'are you sure abt your relationship w LI' conversations varies depending on who the love interest is. i already talked abt what she says to a male warden about morrigan, but playing as a female warden...................................it's so bleak in such a different way.
if you romance alistair, she's primarily concerned that the warden is going to hurt him. he's 'inexperienced', as opposed to the warden, who can also be incredibly inexperienced??? she can even try to soften this by saying the warden won't mean to hurt alistair, but nevertheless 'there is great potential for tragedy here, for one or both of you.' and idk man it's kind of clear who she thinks will cause the tragedy and who will bear the brunt of the grief, and it's not your warden. this to me is esp raw when you consider that alistair has multiple crossroads where he can abandon the romance if not the warden altogether.
if you romance leliana as a woman, she's similarly concerned for leliana's wellbeing. tbh i don't know if there's a difference between this conversation when the warden is a man vs when the warden is a woman. i suspect, like other aspects of leliana's romance, that the f/f option was not given as much attention, presumably bc the assumption was that the player would romance leliana w a male warden.
here is where it gets particularly nasty for me: if a female warden romances zevran, wynne starts off by telling her that the sex is too loud, and then she tells her she 'questions the wisdom' of being in a relationship w someone like zevran, who is surely only in it for One Thing. like. the warden gets to stand there and listen to wynne find the most nauseatingly grandmotherly way to say, 'you're foolishly choosing to be an inconsiderate, naive slut, and that could have serious consequences for the rest of us, too.'
(grain of salt w all of this bc i rly do not know if there's different versions based on the warden's gender, but even if there aren't, it has SUCH a different tenor when wynne is speaking this way to a younger woman in a relationship with a man)
all of these conversations are ultimately leading to her primary concern, which is that love will distract the warden from their purpose. she tells the warden that love is 'selfish.' accordingly, when she later apologizes for overstepping, it's difficult for me to read it as an apology for how she spoke to the warden, mainly bc it isn't. she essentially tells the warden to enjoy while it lasts, bc it won't. sweet that it's happening, tho!
i don't think wynne does any of this out of a conscious hatred for women; she does genuinely believe she's trying to help. but wynne does reserve a specific contempt for sexually active younger women that has everything to do w how she was victimized by a man in the, absolutely, explicitly patriarchal circle (there's prob some mage gender stuff at play here, too, but this is long enough; shoutout mage wardens who are women, this is Particularly fucked up for them!). wynne doesn't recognize it as a misogynistic contempt, but — palpably — it is.
hey so like. the attitude towards the whitewashing of characters like alistair and zevran and fenris is great and all. but can we do the same for merrill. please. thanks.
remember the mods that either killed preston or white washed him? remember when bethany esda tried to be in on the joke of their own dogshit game design by having preston the only companion in a fucking deathclaw pit in the vault-tec workshop dlc trailer? remember when articles for said dlc gleefully had preston in the stocks front and centre? remember when our bethany esda made the longs nonessential for the crime of grieving? remember the preston positive tag? remember having to put disclaimers on your own posts because people couldn't go five seconds without repeating the same tired joke? remember?
so you're telling me the fifa world cup is all men? its all men's teams? and so is the superbowl? and all the sports teams that states are known for and make copious amounts of merch for are also men's teams? and only 5 women have ever entered formula one since its inception in 1950 and only two of them were able to compete? and this is normal? its acceptable?
The thing that kills me about Anders being weird about your LI in act 3 is that it's just been so long now. You've been either dating or weirdly not-dating for like 4 years now. And still he's hating.
Anders would go up at your wedding dinner and start his speech with "wow. And to think just hours ago, I was reminding Hawke that it's not too late, and they don't have to do this". That's the kind of man he is. He does things like that.
my favorite thing about watching ace attorney let's plays is that everybody wants to give franziska an accent but nobody knows what german women sound like
