stuff i do instead of writing

mostly writing advice and memes about writing

[burins]

obviously I don't like the everpresent fic trope of wise and hypercompetent lesbian appears for two seconds to sort out hapless gay boy feelings. however, I do think it gets at something, which is that lesbians fucking love to give advice we are eminently unqualified to give.

so from now on I will only be accepting this trope if the instagram therapyspeak relationship advice is a) objectively wrong and b) coming from a lesbian who is actively ghosting at least two girls while crying about her ex-situationship from 5 years ago. thank you!

[tentacleteapot]

"would you fuck your clone" = boring, who cares, the answer says nothing about you other than whether or not you're your own type

"would you fuck MY clone" = unexpected, high potential to cause a lot of 'why would you fuck my clone and not me?' drama, reasonable question to ask if you're a mad scientist

[femmeidiot]

sorry I always felt undesirable my entire life and it gave me kinks of wanting someone to desire me so extremely it's uncontrollable for them as if that's my fault

[frankensteinfemme]

do you wanna kiss covered in blood? can we kiss covered in blood? when are we gonna kiss covered in blood?

[greelin]

[NARRATOR VOICE] and i cannot believe you’re doing this shit right now, if i’m being honest

[peach-pot]

trans guy who doesn’t realize he’s turning into a werewolf because he assumes it’s all just normal side effects of starting testosterone

[peach-pot]

trans girl who doesn’t realize she’s turning into a vampire because she assumes it’s all just normal side effects of starting estrogen

[peach-pot]

post paused, let’s talk about this now

[valtsv]

fuck you (confession of love)

[anetesenpai]

fuck me yourself (reciprocated)

[scorchedhearth]

characters who dig themselves out of their graves (whether literal or metaphorical) are at the top of the list. nothing beats a character who should have died but didn't and comes back to haunt their own life and the world around them, benevolent or violent it doesn't matter, it's enthralling either way

[hansdown]

oh my favorite trope? two people who go through something so unique and agonizing and entirely beyond words that they have no choice but to create a bond that transcends all other types of love, thus acting as the sole point of understanding for the other person in a world that cannot fathom what they’ve been through

[meradorm-archive-deactivated202]

*sits down to write a smut fic* The plot of this smut fic is that Character A believes himself abandoned by God.

[skeuo]

[vimbry-moved]

my favourite tumblr phenomenon

[what-even-is-thiss]

No I’m not attracted to you. Quit your evil putting your finger under my chin to make me look up at you. I know I’m your nemesis and all but we really need to set some boundaries when you’ve got me tied up like this.

[what-even-is-thiss]

No look I get it. You’ve got your evil plan, you’ve gotta get me out of the way but you also want to see me suffer as I watch the world burn, I know. But like, I’m not into this. Sexually or otherwise. Wait, you thought I was doing this because I liked you? I’m trying to stop you from using a death laser. No I don’t think death lasers are sexy what on earth are you talking about

[what-even-is-thiss]

Wait. That’s why you dress like that? I thought that armor was impractical. No I don’t find our relationship to be homoerotic I find it to be tedious. Look, man. We all keep trying to get you into therapy. No I’m not kink shaming you I’m saying you’ve completely misinterpreted this relationship. I actually do think you should answer for your war crimes. Yes, really. No you’re the one not listening to me in this situation. Yes that is the alarm the others will have cut all your wires and called in the fbi by now.

[what-even-is-thiss]

What do you mean you thought we had something special? I have other enemies. You’re not the only one. No I’m not doing kinky things with them either I blow up their nefarious devices. Speaking of which, you might want to move like… ten feet to your right.

[what-even-is-thiss]

No, enemies to enemies. And then still enemies.

[what-even-is-thiss]

Cannot stress enough how lovers will never be part of this equation even a little bit

[yellowhollyhock]

The henchmen in the tags who have been assuring the villain since the beginning that “of course he likes you back, why else would he keep coming to destroy your death lasers”

[what-even-is-thiss]

The henchmen have been reading too many romance novels.

[divorce-enjoyer]

well have you considered that maybe the unstoppable force is in love with the immovable object

[divorce-enjoyer]

maybe the reason one refuses to stop and the other refuses to move is because they both long for the collision

[skippydiesposting]

"what do I do if I have theories" will always be the fucking funniest reddit post

[skippydiesposting]

top tier comedy

[greelin]

damn your blood tastes sooo good. What are your pronouns

[sapphling]

hey thanks for interacting with me earlier that was awesome. i really liked when you said a sentence in response to the one i said good stuff. would you mind if i spent a feverish and holy few hours alone picturing your hands and teeth doing things to me that not even god could forgive