This is a vent blog, where I complain about how much people on the Internet (and sometimes in real life) suck. TW: talking about different kinds of abuse and general bad behavior
The purpose of this blog is cathartic venting, where I come to complain about things in order to get it out of my system and let it go. A diary of sorts. It was inspired by seeing victims of parasocial (and other types of) abuse from people like Lily Orchard and Poppy and Zena. Just people being super open about how horribly they and people they know have been treated. So this will be a place to kind of expel the poison so to speak. Anyone who wants to vent along is welcome to. Just don't expect a response if it's unproductive.
Its actually kinda impressive in a really stupid way that she was able to take space: the final frontier and make them bum around their house about it.
Like, they have a trailer home that one of the two drives around while the other bums around drinking coffee or tea and tells them fun facts. Thus far whats been described has been...nothing. Its crazy as someone who has been on many a road trip but the highlights of such a thing are, ya know highlights comforting a friend going through a tough time or stopping and seeing something really really dumb or cool, hell even a truck stop can be a highlight as you for whatever reason decide "Lets see who can find the weirdest thing to eat and then everyone tries a bite!" Or frankly just a bizzare conversation about lunch meat at a subway
The 54th game of Ispy or 20 Questions aren't what make the trip memorable or interesting those things are used to pass the drivers and to a lesser extent the passengers time before the invention of smart phones.
The appeal, I feel of the quiet moments, hard to capture with just words, talking about whatever comes to mind, the ultimate nothing conversation of little weight. Lets not forget comfortable silence, the hymn of a healthy relationship if your take on companionship isn't "I need to be inside another humans skin" like CD's evidently is
Given how she gushes so much about blind devotion and zero conflict in the relationships she writes, I could see LCD setting herself up an AI chatbot and sticking it in the life-sized Gardevoir plushie if Mikaila ever broke up with her.
Okay from the screenshot of CD-Call recounting the oldest things she owns- why the hell does she have Courtney’s journal??
💬 0 🔁 1 ❤️ 1 · I Think CD-Call Lied About The Laptop · Tumblr is a place to express yourself, discover yourself, and bond over the stuff y
Why would CD-Call have a journal that is tied to Courtney? I honestly do not know. I'm not in CD-Call's head, so there are things we will not know unless she says something about it.
All we do know is that she's claiming to have it - no pictures, no point of reference, nothing. She'll show a picture of her old computer that she claims is tied to Tara Callie, but she won't show a picture of the journal that allegedly belonged to Courtney.
If I was making the same allegations CD-Call was making against Courtney, then I would have presented that journal to the police to prove the s🔞xual assaults happened and finally be vindicated, especially if people alleged and proved I have a history of lying.
Just outright destroying the journal, if it was true, is more than just suspicious (based on what CD-Call has said is written in it) - it's very likely a crime - theft and spoilation of evidence, to put it bluntly.
I can't even begin to guess how many years of therapy my sibling and I will need to unlearn the behaviors instilled by our dad in order to keep us trapped as his spousified and parentified emotional support children.
Enmeshment is emotional incest. It does not "stabilize". There is no healthy form of it. The people who say that are predators and liars.
So a few things, being on tumblr.com isn't writing... anything actually what your doing is called procrastination and cheap dopamine... (yeah i know never said this wasn't a joke blog) if your writing at all which lets be honest once you finished the character cards your progress hit a wall and talking ABOUT writing is just as good
The second thing is:
Self Ask that started the "brainworms"
Third off:
Yeah girl, can't believe one of the Avatars teachers is a young girl of only 12 YEARS OLD!
Fascinating choice to admit to the already obvious self projection when the only form of this she's written in years has been between siblings. "I just want a version of events where the way I feel is welcomed!" Yeah. We know.
Frankly the entire framework is fucked if you ask me. Though I am no psychologist, and neither is Lily.
See. Devotion isn't a fuckin throw out word. As much as I try to apply Hanlon's razor to Lily this one do got me thinking this time it might actually be malicious. We know Lily is not Lev or SR Rey, she is Alaina or Kestri. It is asking someone to give everything and expecting essentially nothing back as her ideal relationship. That just doesn't sit right to me even if it is said in total ignorance.
Though yeah it doesn't help in the slightest it all leads back to incest with her... accusations sounding more like facts every time...
There is no nuance or stability to enmeshment. It is emotional and psychological incest and a form of emotional and mental abuse. End of story.
No one should ever listen to this woman's opinion on anything, but especially not this. She just likes to insist enmeshment can be a good thing because she wants to be enmeshed with her sister.
Lily thinks it's okay for siblings to date the same person in a polyamorous relationship
Lily has an incest kink and this is the closest she can really get to just having an incest pairing without even her most die hard fans calling her out on it.
Like. Of course she sees it as ok. She wants that but without the non-related person in the middle.
This is just.... Factually untrue and fuck you for this take CD-Call/Lily Orchard cause this kind of take could actually lead to someone dying.
Depression can take many forms in a person. It is not always the stereotypical 'Stops taking care of yourself and crying all the time'. Someone who is depressed isn't ALWAYS going to stop bathing. A fair amount might, but not everyone and that is a DANGEROUS statement to make and could lead to someone ending their own life.
Media does have a habit of 'santizing' Depression to make it more appealing for it, but this kind of blanket statement is so untrue it's genuinely dangerous.
This is where I'm going to be a bit 'real' about something about myself: I have severe Depression and CPTSD. My childhood wasn't a kind one, wasn't a warm one. Wasn't a safe one.
So, content warning for under the Read More for the topic of child abuse, self harm, and suicidal ideation:
I suffered a LOT in different ways. I have zero memories from before I was 7 years old, and had to learn from others why I had very specific scars on my body that told a story I refuse to think about even to this day.
I am aware I was molested as a child, beaten by an adult that I should have been able to trust to keep me safe, ignored by the ones who should have protected me for not shaping up into their expectations and desires.
I was suicidally depressed in my teens. I had completely given up on life and the thought of living and was just counting the ticks on a clock for the perfect time to end it all. I stopped caring about myself, stopped caring about being in other's lives because it felt useless. The family around me treated me like I didn't exist and when they did it was to take their frustrations out on me.
I still bathed. I still took care of my hair. I still dressed decently. From the outside, very few people could tell anything was wrong.
I outright told my friends I was planning on jumping off the overpass near my home when I turned 18. I actively wanted to just end it all because I was so tired of living as someone's afterthought until they needed something to take their frustrations out on.
Not a single person did something.
Except one.
In a moment of weakness and fear I called the one person I thought had abandoned me long before this point: My mother.
Didn't matter she was four states away at the time, didn't matter she had no idea what she was walking into when she came to get me (if I was still even going to be alive by that point due to how far gone I was and later she told me when she tried calling my dad and having a wellfare check done on me he actively stonewalled it and said I was just 'being a moody teenager'). She drove and didn't stop. Made the trip in less than a day and half of near nonstop driving that should have taken 3 or 4. Refused to let go of me in a hotel room while I cried, even when she was asleep, because she was scared I'd do something.
Got me into therapy, I got diagnosed with a whole host of mental shit my dad and his side of the family caused (my mom caused some to, she wasn't perfect, but some things my older brother did gave her the wakeup call she needed to get clean and work on herself which put her in a position to help me when I needed it)
I never once missed bathing through out all of that. My depression wasn't outwardly obvious with that. These days people tell me in hindsight it was obvious because I stopped talking about future plans, stopped thinking further than a day or two at a time. That I stopped putting effort into school, stopped getting excited for things I used to.
But I took care of how I looked.
(Not so much internally. The surgery I am getting Thursday is actually related to the fact I stopped caring about my health in far worse ways than physical hygiene and I have been slowly paying that price over the last decade and a half as my body reminds me how shitty I was to it at the time)
These days, now with medication and better coping skills, my Depression doesn't manifest as feeling sad or stopping bathing. Honestly, it never even did back when I was a teenager.
It's like a running static in my mind. It's feeling numb and lifeless and being unable to process things around me for a period. It's an empty feeling deep rooted inside of me that doesn't go away no matter what I do.
It's sitting there staring an ended video for over an hour because mentally I didn't process that it had ended, going through the repetition of the day entirely on autopilot for my daily tasks and nothing more.
It's staring at the page of a book that I've re-read six times and not absorbed a thing.
CD Call/Lily Orchard making this kind of generalization on Depression is DANGEROUS.
Because the symptoms of it aren't always that obvious, in fact a large part of the time they aren't. I remember being in a support group and hearing others talk about theirs. Rarely was not showering ever a symptom mentioned (maybe once or twice. There was one person who was in substantial debt because they just kept spending.)
But by saying this is something ALL people with Depression do could lead to you missing the signs someone in your life needs help, needs someone to reach out.
That's just a mean thing to say in general. And yeah, it could make someone who's actively depressed feel even worse. It could give them a very distorted idea about themselves.
Also another anecdote I could add is that when my partner was in the thick of his addiction, and therefore his depression, he would bathe regularly, but he wouldn't brush his teeth regularly, and he would never floss. He never learned how to set a proper routine for that, and with his mental health, it was very much an afterthought. So he smelled fine, but had really bad breath. I didn't realize it at the time cause it didn't occur to me that was why.
Depression takes many forms. Generalization doesn't help anyone.
I truly wish the best to Courtney because she has a green cheeked conure now, and having had one for almost twenty years (RIP), they are the best companions a person could ask for. Courtney is that bird's entire world now. If she can love such a sweet, pure hearted creature (and we've seen that she loves her cats), and it can bond with her and love her back, there's hope for her yet.
I want all the best for her because I want the best for her bird.
Edit: I guess the bird is actually her friend's that she's staying with. I still hope she and the bird can be healthy friends together.
I know who you bigots like to stay together and hold hands, but you have to be honest with everyone here.
See, this is why I'm calling Lily an antisemitic and Islamophobic bitch
See, I kinda follow this rule of listening to Jewish and Muslim people when they say that something is bigoted towards them instead of listening to a white woman.
I know that this concept is pretty hard for bigot defenders to understand... but calling something a mythology is insulting to the people who are still practicing the religion.
You can just call it a story, but no, you have to keep calling it a mythology even after other people have told you it's insulting.
Kinda funny how you ran crying to your mommy that the meany blog was calling you out for being a bigot.
And then the same LCD d!ck-sucker goes back to say this:
Oh you graduated in history did you? You seem to have forgotten a few things. Let me break it down for you.
Yes, actually, it would be considered offensive to call the stories in Christianity and Hinduism a mythology because those religions are also still practiced. Hell, Greek Hellenism is still a thing today, even if it's not as widely practiced as in the BCE eras (pretty sure the main religion of Greece is Greek Orthodox Christians).
Like it or not, a lot of people genuinely believe in some form of higher power, and that leads them to follow certain rules and practices that affect their daily life and how they view the world.
You may not believe it. You may not like that it exists. You may even hate it. That doesn't give you carte blanche to insult the people who do believe it and expect to not be called out on it. Especially religions practiced by marginalized groups like Jewish people and Muslims. It's one thing to insult Christians, who have been historically in power. It's another thing entirely to insult Jewish people and Muslims, who have been historically oppressed. It's punching up versus punching down. You're just opening yourself up to backlash (rightly deserved too).
And it's not because LCD is trans, you dumb sh!t. It's because she's a narcissistic douchebag who has to be the only one who's in the right at all times regardless of her behavior (on top of being a predator and rapist).
