Tribbles and sea turtles

[dduane]

It seems to arrive sooner every year

[marypsue]

the self-indulgent fanfiction will continue until morale improves

[bisexualbaker]

The self-indulgent fanficiton will also continue after morale improves, just with better morale.

[aropride]

red fucking alert if you’re currently experiencing a beautiful spring day after a long and brutal winter DO NOT TRUST IT this is NOT spring it is FALSE SPRING we still have SEVERAL WEEKS OF COLD do NOT let your guard down

[ankle-beez]

the chain of events in this minute and a half clip is so extremely delightful and funny

[ankle-beez]

kermit and scooter riffing on how their physicality doesn't let them open the envelope to announce the winner. the audience immediately cracking up when it cuts to statler and waldorf because they know what the bit is gonna be. jim henson slipping into the kermit voice accidentally before bouncing back at record speed and riffing on it. richard hunt genuinely laughing at jim's joke but doing so in-character. prime muppets was something else man

[chronophobica]

what they DONT tell you about clarinets is that you have to fucking build the damn thing every single time. "what instrument do you play" fucking legos man idk

[chocolatecakecas]

damn we got 2022 tomorrow

[certifiedgirlthing]

Damn we got 2023 tomorrow.

[spottedbread]

damn we got 2024 tomorrow

[churchofthestarrychildren]

damn we got 2025 tomorrow

[manicallydepressedrobot]

Damn we got 2026 tomorrow

[polebunyan-deactivated20181114]

[yehudigorl]

tis the season

[aka-maayan]

I forgot about this

[tikkunhayam]

I haven’t seen this show up on my dash ONCE yet this Chanukah season I have to do everything by myself

[poetry-protest-pornography]

Happy Hanukkah!

[ariadne-mouse]

me, unloading a fitted sheet from the dryer: *squinting* what's that you've got in your mouth

fitted sheet: nothing :)))))))

me, prying open its twisted jaws: na-ah!!! give it to me RIGHT now!!

fitted sheet: *resentfully spits out a wad of 3 very damp dishtowels, a pillowcase, and a pathetically sodden washcloth*

[steakosaur]

[shower-thoughts-last-responder]

Kudos to this post, I think of you every time I do my fucking laundry

[wordfather]

the only way out is through but fuuuuuuuuuck fuuuuucckkkk cant i like scooch past or something

[starpeace]

i love when tragedies are like “the love was there. it didnt change anything. it didnt save anyone. there were just too many forces against it. but it still matters that the love was there”

[catasters]

[patrochilles-or-bust]

We've found them. The Sole Orange Wielder of the Brain Cell.

[earhartsease]

Brain Cells Georg

[amemait]

Yes. YES!

The Tiger is Out!

[thepromiscuousfinger]

[chaifootsteps]

#Please little bird

[creepyscritches]

Trying to cause an asthma attack at my family's gift exchange. The gobbler. I made 3 of these bitches.

[wetwareproblem]

"Want some wine?"

"YEP yep yep yep yep yep..."

[armandology]

fuuuuck i just realized that the future idealized version of myself cant exist without current me being the catalyst for change and doing hard things. has anybody heard about this

[ritikajyala]

There'll be a moment when you realise you're 27 when yesterday you were just 17; and you wouldn't be able to tell how a decade passed away and your life got divided into before and afters. The fury of youth will subdue and nothing will really change but everything will feel different when you look at old photographs and blurry videos taken on cheap mobile phones. Scents will remind you of childhood and certain friends you don't talk to anymore, hangouts will become reunions and mom's burnt pie will become the best food you ever had. And I know on some days you won't be able to show anything of those 10 years but I hope you remember to breathe, and let go of the knot in your chest. I hope you go out in the sun and live a little, because tomorrow is 37.

-Ritika Jyala, excerpt from The Flesh I Burned

[consolationblog]

[parakeet]

You will not die at the hands of quicksand. Ask me how I know this

[bearthethirdwheel]

Please, how do you know this?

[parakeet]

quicksand does not have any hands

[frankensteins-mt-dew]

[tardisman14]

Reblog if, no matter the size of the role, you would agree to work with the Muppets if offered the chance to do so, no questions asked

[byz-was-here]

THEY WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO FINISH THE PITCH BEFORE I TELL EM I’M IN

[mothnem]

Recruiter: Hello, I'm with the Muppets and...

Me: Where do I sign?