I Like Biting Things

Not telling you internet strangers any info in my bio find it all sprinkled through my posts like god intended

[triceratops-skeleton]

Hadestown cast Orpheus so good. Such an awkward freak of a dude and he’s killing it. Where did he get a voice like that

[triceratops-skeleton]

Haircut never enough every time I’m like ooh this is nice but what if I cut it shorter

[firebirdeternal]

"I have never seen a cat that showed affection/love for it's owner" is the pet ownership version of "I don't believe in Female Orgasms they don't exist, after all, my wife has never had one"

[triceratops-skeleton]

Facts. My boy shows love by biting my toes

[thagomizersshow]

I think the fact kiwi birds have nostrils at the tip of their beaks isn't just y'know, an adaptation for sniffing out worms, but also important for their vibes and aura.

You can't see it, but you can feel it

[muscleluvr4-deactivated20140223]

why the fuck is it called the xbox 360 what does 360 mean???????????????????

[wariolands-blog]

when u see it u turn 360 degrees and walk away

[viseriontargaryen]

turning 360 degrees would face you right back to the xbox you dipshit

[davekat-deactivated20130315-dea]

[btc-official-deactivated2024071]

this post somehow still in circulation despite everyone involved being deactivated

[rain-droplet]

even you

[hufflepuffharukananase]

Even me

[aroaceofthesea]

“Of course we’re in love, that’s why i tried to shoot you” “if you really loved me you wouldn’t have missed” is such a raw ass line you would think it comes from Goncharov (1973) and you would be right

[jewish-joy]

Last year, I befriended a Catholic seminarian. We've gotten to be pretty decent friends. Seeing as he was staying in town for the summer and I wasn't, I entrusted him with caring for my plant.

He did a wonderful job, but as he was returning my plant to my custody, he explained "I watered her every other day, I gave her new dirt, moved her into the sunshine, prayed the rosary-"

"What?"

He looked at me, confused. "Isn't she a plant you pray with?"

"No," I said slowly. "She's a prayer plant. That's the... colloquial name of the plant."

Upon seeing his stricken face, I realized something went wrong. Turns out, this entire time, he's been including my plant in on his prayers and leaving her near icons.

Listen, totally cool. My plant becoming Catholic is a great deal for her not dying over the summer. But now I must navigate this interfaith household. Keep me in your thoughts.

[thissweetenamor]

[triceratops-skeleton]

Why does this dog keep licking my elbow to indicate a desire for my snacks

Best photo I could get. As you can imagine getting a picture with only one hand available is a touch difficult. So is getting the dog to repeat her strange choices on command

[jame7t]

get out of the summoning circle you stupid little fruit

[wizard-eater]

[revcleo]

[revcleo]

[elaboratingisfortheweak]

Yeah this'll fuel my will to live for a bit

[deathtofun]

I told a guy his total was 13.21 and he said “wish it were that year, could actually get some good music on the radio”

[regularlesbian]

breaking news from the AP, our boys on the front have just sacked constantinople. take that, heretics. coming up next are the soothing lute dirges of bing crosby

[villainessbian]

*screams of a witch burning at the stake*

THOU ART CURRENTLY LISTENING TO

*Gregorian chanting*

13.21

*leper bell ringing*

HIGH MEDIAEVAL FM

*recording of John Lackland sobbing as he signs the Magna Carta*

WHENCE COMETH NAUGHT BUT LITURGIES

LITURGIES

AND MORE LITURGIES

*Templar knights praying out loud*

THIS ISN’T THY GRANDMOTHERES STATION

*Imagine Dragons - Radioactive starts playing*

[playwrongs]

there's nothing i like more as a computer program than a long period of silent contemplation - not doing anything, not rushing anywhere, just standing here and enjoying this moment with the user. oh, it seems once again he has summoned my beautiful and ruthless wife Task Manager. hello, my darling! what are you doing with that long cruel scimitar

[triceratops-skeleton]

Happy bridal shower! Garland o thongs

[viktor-sbor]

Off the coast of Australia Macroctopus caught the shark, wrapped all its tentacles around it and soon released it. Most likely, he scraped all the parasites off her.

[alkthash]

The octopus

[meshugenist]

me when i fucking get u

[ruffboi-mags]

So apparently, over the summer, Quibi (the shortest-lasting streaming service ever lmao) did a quarantine project called “Home Movie: The Princess Bride” where a bunch of celebrities recreated The Princess Bride in tiny chunks at home.

And like there was no permanent cast, all these celebrities seem to have gotten a scene or part of a scene to do (i’m not sure exactly, I did not ever watch Quibi and thus haven’t seen this yet), and then they just… recreated it as best they could. At home. Under quarantine.

So like, you had Jennifer Garner in a blanket cape playing Princess Buttercup AND the Booing Old Woman with a crowd comprised entirely of stuffed animals:

Or Taika Waititi paying Westley off a badly-drawn Inigo on a piece of cardboard held in front of someone’s face:

And it’s all just delightful.

But my absolute favorite part of this thing that I’ve sadly never seen but assume is probably absolutely hilarious and a treasure and I want to find it some day and watch the whole thing… is that Carey Elwes is in it.

As Prince Fucking Humperdink.

[movebackintime]

https://youtu.be/lR8pA_WV9QI

Here ya go

[laziestgirlintown]

In case you need a comfort watch and because Youtube search nowadays sucks rancid putrescence, I remind you of the Princess Bride Home Movie from the lockdown, starring everybody

[triceratops-skeleton]

Adam Sandler Grandpa I’m dying

[sodorz]

thinking abt how fucked up steam engine boiler explosions can look. theyre just pipes under there

gives me the idea of a ghost/monster engine that looks normal, albeit a bit battered, only to swing their smokebox door open and a myriad of pipes come bursting out like fucked up tentacles

[marlynnofmany]

I didn’t know a train could be an eldritch horror, but here we are.

[siphersaysstuff]

The Call of C'thchoochoo.

[triceratops-skeleton]

More Ghosty cat!

Only the silliest photos of the boy