in which florence shepherd loses her brother, and jackson avery is the air she needs.
A/N: hi! i hope you enjoy this fic. please read and consider following me and sending requests. this is unedited and 955 words. π€
βFlorence, how much longer do you think you have in here?β Jackson whisks into the OR, mask over his face.
Florence Shepherd does not look up, her eyes trained on the patient in front of her.Β
βHell if I know,β she scoffs out. βIt was going so well, until it wasnβt.βΒ
When Jackson doesnβt respond, Florence shrugs. βAn hour, tops. Why? Is everything okay?βΒ
βYeah, of course, Flo. Mind if I watch?βΒ
Florence glances up, but only for a second. βI never mind. J, are you okay?βΒ
Jackson scoffs. βYeah, just, yeah. Iβll stay out of your way, promise.βΒ
Florence focuses back on her work, she loves Jackson, heβs been her best friend for as long as she can remember, but sometimes, she simply does not understand him.Β
The youngest Shepherd continues her surgery, Jackson stands in the corner, shifting uncomfortably every so often. Florence isnβt sure whatβs wrong with him, maybe nothing, but she doesnβt care, she enjoys the company of her best friend.Β
Florence completes her surgery just before the hour mark, assigning an intern to close the young boy up. βCβmon, J, you can tell me what the hell has got you so anxious in the corner of my OR,β Florence teases as she walks out of the OR, and begins scrubbing out.
Itβs when Jackson says nothing that Florence begins to worry. As she scrubs her hands, she looks to him, βWhat happened?βΒ
βJust-uh-keep scrubbing out,β he offers, scratching his head.Β
βJ, what the hell is wrong. Youβre scaring me!β Florence turns the water off and faces him.Β
Florence studies his face. The way his forehead creases and his lips are pressed shut. His eyes are filled with the despair and sorrow she is far too used to. βWho?βΒ
Jackson reaches for her, but she pulls away. βWho, Jackson?βΒ
She canβt bring herself to say the word, but she doesnβt have to, he knows.Β
βFlo, please. Come sit with me.βΒ
βIs it Amy or Mer?β Florence paces the room, her breathing rising.
Jackson doesnβt answer, so Florence keeps talking. βNo, Amy is on call. Sheβs in the room next to me. Is it Meredith? Or is it Derek? It canβt possibly be Derek, heβs too fucking smart to die. And heβs supposed to be in D.C. meeting with the president, or whatever.β
Florence inhales, stops pacing, and looks at Jackson. βBut Mer said the White House called and he hadnβt arrived.βΒ
Jackson reaches out for her again, but she steps back. βNo, Iβm- Youβre kidding, right? Thereβs no fucking way.βΒ
Jackson finally manages to grab her hand. She stares at the door though, not meeting his eye, or even turning towards him.Β
βHow?β She shudders out. βHeβs too damn smart, Jackson. How?βΒ
Jackson swallows thickly and pulls her arm, tugging her towards him. βDo you really want me to tell you?β
Florence laughs. βHeβs my brother, of course I do.βΒ
βThere was an accident, he was taking a different route to the airport. He stopped to help them. After the ambulance came, he got back in his car, a semi came out of nowhere and hit him head on.βΒ
She stays silent for a moment, βDid he die on scene?βΒ Β
Jackson shakes his head, though she still isnβt facing him. βHe made it to the hospital. They didnβt do a head CT and he had a brain bleed, I think. The police went to the house and took Meredith there. She waited, then they..β
Florenceβs laugh cuts him off. βMeredith waited and then pulled the plug on my brother? Without calling anyone?β
βLetβs go somewhere more private, Flo. You can be with Amelia and..β
βDerek survived a shooting, nope, two shootings, then a plane crash. And he died because of a semi?β Florenceβs laughter grows louder, before fading into sobs.Β
She goes back and forth between laughs and sobs, the weight of the world sitting on her shoulders, as she gasps for more air. She canβt breathe, her heart is pounding and her lungs are being filled with water. Sheβs going to die, too. And then who will Amy have? And Meredith? And their poor mother. Two kids in one day. Sheβll be devastated.
She doesnβt realize sheβs on the ground until Jacksonsβ arms wrap around her. Theyβre tight and secure, his hand fans through her hair, whispering comforting words. She wonders if the people assisting with her surgery can see her. She wonders what they think, she wonders if they know Derekβs dead, and she wonders if they even care.Β
They have to care, though. Derek Shepherd is dead, and everybody cared about Derek Shepherd.Β
She sobs until the sobs turn into incoherent hiccups, until Jackson carries her into an on-call room, laying her gently on a bed and curling in beside her. She lays against his chest, hearing his heartbeat. She cries again, because Derekβs heart isnβt beating, and she wonders if hers is, and if the water in her lungs is ever going to kill her.Β
βWho made the call not to get a head C.T.?β She wonders aloud. βWhat kind of person makes that kind of call?βΒ
Jackson shakes his head. βI donβt know, Flo. I donβt know.β
βI hate them.β
He nods. βI know.βΒ
She sniffles and pulls away from him. βYou probably have somewhere to be, donβt you?β
He shakes his head, pulling her back in, and pressing a kiss to the crown of her head. βNowhere.β
βThen youβll stay? I want to sleep, but I know Iβm going to wake up in the morning and remember this is real, and itβs going to hurt all over again. And I am so scared.βΒ
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