Just a little trigger warning, this post does deal with heavy topics of mental health and suicide, if you are not in a good space, please skip past this one until you are
For many, Hey Jude sparks so many emotions, often uplifting and joyous. For Paul, this is also a very special song, in ‘The Lyrics’ by Paul McCartney, he explains how it originally started out as a song for Julian during Cynthia and John Lennon’s divorce in 1968. It was originally supposed to be titled Hey Jules because of a nickname McCartney had for Julian but changed it to be more open and ambiguous. Interestingly, one of the most iconic lyrics, ‘The movement you need is on your shoulder’, was going to be scrapped by Paul, John wanted it kept because he believed it was one of the best lyrics in the song. And for that, I’m sure every Beatles fan thanks John Lennon. It’s hard to explain, but there is just something so breathtakingly uplifting about that line mixed with McCartney’s vocals, the piano and, later on at the crescendo of the song, the strong beat and rhythm.
Hey Jude was actually my first real introduction to the Beatles. Of course I’ve heard their songs before that point but I never really fell into them the way I did when I found this song. At the time I was maybe 15 or 16 and struggling with my mental health. I was in a bad spot and on the precipice of taking my own life. At the time I was also really hyper fixated on David Tennant and I had already finished Good Omens and the Tenth Doctor’s run of Doctor Who, so I was out of fresh stuff to watch of David Tennant that I could get for free. Then I discovered a 1994 Scottish drama series called Takin’ Over The Asylum. I found it on YouTube in some shitty reupload. But I was hooked from the first episode.
The first episode starts off with Eddie McKenna getting fired from his part time radio DJ job. His boss takes pity and mentions a hospital called St. Jude’s Hospital and how they’re looking to start a hospital radio. Eddie happily accepts without realizing that St. Jude’s is a mental health facility. He still goes once he finds out and sets up the small office. The first episode is an establishment of recurring characters like Campbell Bain and Francine. But it also introduces us to a character named Nana. She’s a homeless woman brought to the hospital by the police but she doesn’t speak English and is suspected to be speaking in tongues, the only thing that the hospital staff knows is that she likes music. While Eddie is fiddling about in the radio office she wonders in and starts messing with his records. Eddie manages to calm her with some whiskey and she messes with him by taking his wallet. She grabs a record, Val Doonican’s Greatest Hits, and he takes it and plays a different record for her. That record was Hey Jude by the Beatles. The sound is crackley and distinctly vintage, but it’s raw and real. The camera then pans to a woman screaming and trying to escape, the song playing under it. This show is amazing, I highly recommend watching it. It’s also what got me into music like the Beatles and others.
While I know rambling about this show might seem off topic, to me it’s intrinsically related. Without it, I don’t think I ever would have truly listened to the Beatles, and because of the show, my interpretation of their songs are linked in many ways to my mental health. Like Campbell Bain, I struggle from Bipolar disorder, although I’m more depression heavy than manic, and because of that depressive episode, there have been times I seriously contemplated taking my own life. It’s grim I know, but it is the truth. With Hey Jude, it was one of those rare times something managed to cut through. It wasn’t a perfect heal, I still have days where it all comes back and I need to go to a therapist, but this helps calm and ground me when I start getting that static in my head and the thoughts that follow the static.
The verse that always sticks with me is the first one, “Hey, Jude,
don't make it bad/Take a sad song and make it better/Remember to let her into your heart/Then you can start to make it better”. The first line reminds me about how I always load too much onto my plate and burn myself out to the point where I start to crash and burn, hence the making it bad. With the third line, it feels to me like it’s talking about your perspective, if you have a sad or bad perspective, that can affect your life and the way you see life and all of its blessing, but if you can flip it, even for a day, I think it can make all the difference in taking a sad song and making it better. The third line reminds me of my religion. I'm a Hellenic Polytheist and I worship with Lady Aphrodite, who has helped me make great efforts in my mental health and how I view myself. She is essentially my Mother Mary. Sometimes it is hard to hear her spirit or wisdom some days and feel her love, thus I have to keep my heart open for her so that she can help me in making my life better.
But it’s just so hard to pick one line or verse that’s my favorite, this whole song is just an anthem to the broken hearted and broken down. It’s also a song that brings people together, it’s an easy melody and an uplifting beat. It’s something easy to sing and just brings people together with a bittersweet feeling.
While writing this I decided to see what other people thought, afterall, music has a different effect on all. I texted my sister, who responded that to her, the song felt bittersweet, like missing someone you’ve lost. Not in a sad way, more like a memory of a good moment with them and like you’re telling them you are okay. I won’t go into the context behind this, but this feels like a vivid expression of grief and the slow working healing you undergo.
This song has saved my life. That I will not deny, I don’t fully understand how or why, but I am glad that I watched Takin’ Over The Asylum and found the Beatles and Hey Jude. Since that moment, I have been given many great blessings, amazing friends, an even stronger relationship with my sister, and so many other positive things that I would not have been able to have had I ended it. I am most definitely rambling now, but I think that’s okay, so long as I can end this on a positive note. Whether it's the Beatles or another artist, if you’re struggling, find an upbeat song with a powerful, positive message that can help uplift you when you’re down, it can truly make a difference in life.