Enjoy my Garbage! @typical-davinci-impersonator - Tumblr Blog

heard someone say "who even owns a rolling pin anymore" and my brain froze trying to process it. what does that mean. are u implying rolling pins are outdated technology? did we come up with a shiny new 21st century method of flattening dough of which i remain uninformed? is there now an app on the app store people are using instead??? im losing my mind "who even owns a rolling pin" people who BAKE

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

#kneadless comment

hopeymchope

PlayStation Bad

In just the past two months, Sony has:

Said the PS6 will be more than $1000 at launch

Announced the end of all physical PS game releases

While simultaneously announcing the end of two of their console game stores — ensuring multiple games will die forever

Declared that they are wholly dedicated to (A) leveraging A.I. when making games and (B) creating live-service games above all other game types

Announced that if you bought any movies through their PlayStation Store, over 550 of them will soon be deleted from all users' libraries — with no restitution offered of any kind

Gamers, it is time — to paraphrase Robert Vann — to turn Sony's picture to the wall. Any one of these insults would be bad, and taken alone? Maybe it could be swallowed. But this is an ongoing campaign of disdain towards customers, with each declaration worse than the last.

PlayStation does not deserve your patronage any longer. The PS6 must fail. Leave them behind.

needsmoreexplosions

Do you guys remember the original Xbox One announcement? Where all games would only have one installation before the disc became useless, the console had to be always online to function, and would be constantly listening to the room around it?

Remember how it got clowned on so badly that the person in charge resigned on disgrace and they did a full 180 on everything they had committed to?

Those were good times.

rainformation

formative years? aren’t they all?

absolutejamer

show me a permanent self and i will show you a facade or a corpse

whosaidsealscantfly

Every day I am distraught that TheFlyingSeal is taken on Tumblr. By a SOAP shop of all things. And they sell food and beer too? I'm honestly a bit confused but that's beside the point.

I'm all for small businesses using social media to advertise their products and/or services, but they haven't used the blog since 2014. That's nine whole years! They were inactive before I even made my own blog!

@theflyingseal, if you can see this in your email notifications, i beg you. Submit your URL to me, and update yours to theflyingsealorganics, i beg you. I'll even buy your soaps, I love soap.

whosaidsealscantfly

3 years later and I'm STILL pissed about this and I STILL DON'T HAVE IT.

GIVE ME MY BRAND BACK

typical-davinci-impersonator

Give this woman her name for the sake of all that is holy!

not-muse

rj-anderson

I know this is from Australia but when I first saw the words “Victorian man” all I could think of was this:

cockyhorror

To be fair imagine you just arrived in 2018 from Victorian England and discovered Take On Me, what are you supposed to do, not blast it loud enough for your family to hear it all the way back in 1876?

depsidase

whosname

[id. A twitter post by @/Bennieeexyz Jury duty letter came addressed to my cat. Not a mistake. "Felix Martinez" - that's his full name according to his vet records. My last name. His first name. Somehow he's a registered voter now. Called the county clerk. Me: My cat got summoned for jury duty. Clerk: Is the name correct on the summons? Me: Yes, but he's a cat. Clerk: Is Felix Martinez a legal resident of this county? Me: He's a legal cat. Clerk: Sir, if the name matches our records, he needs to appear or file an exemption. Me: He can't file anything. He has paws. Clerk: You can file on his behalf. Me: Under what exemption? There's no box for "is a cat." Clerk: (pause) Check "unable to serve due to medical reasons." Me: What's the medical reason? Clerk: He's a cat. Me: That's not a medical condition. Clerk: It is if it prevents him from serving. Sent in the form. Got rejected two weeks later. "Insufficient documentation. Please provide medical professional's statement." Took the letter to my vet. Me: I need you to write that my cat can't do jury duty. Vet: Why is your cat summoned for jury duty? Me: Excellent question. No good answer. Vet: This is the weirdest request I've gotten. Me: Can you just write that he's medically unfit to serve? Vet: On what grounds? Me: He's a cat. Vet: (started typing) "Patient is unable to serve due to species-related limitations including inability to speak, read, or comprehend legal proceedings." Me: Perfect. Sent it in. Got another rejection. "Summons is mandatory. Failure to appear will result in contempt of court." My roommate thought this was hilarious. Roommate: Felix is going to jail. Me: This is serious. Roommate: Bring him to court. See what happens. Decided that was actually the only option left. Day of jury duty, put Felix in his carrier. Brought the entire paper trail of rejection letters. Checked in at the courthouse. Clerk: Name? Me: Felix Martinez. Clerk: (looked at the cat carrier) Is that Felix? Me: Yes. Clerk: (long stare) He's a cat. Me: I've been saying that for six weeks. Clerk: Why didn't you file an exemption? Me: I filed three. All rejected. Showed her the letters. She read through them, expression shifting from confusion to disbelief. Clerk: Someone rejected the veterinary documentation? Me: Twice. Clerk: (called her supervisor over) You need to see this. Supervisor read everything. Looked at Felix. Looked at me. Supervisor: How did a cat get registered to vote? Me: You tell me. Supervisor: This is a data error. Me: Took you six weeks to figure that out. They dismissed Felix immediately. Apologized for the inconvenience. Supervisor: We'll remove him from the voter registry. Me: Appreciate it. Supervisor: (pause) Out of curiosity, how would he have voted? Me: Probably whatever party supports universal treats. Got a formal apology letter a week later and a voter registration card. For me this time. Apparently I wasn't registered, but my cat was. Roommate: Felix committed voter fraud. Me: Felix committed nothing. He's innocent. Roommate: That's what they all say. Felix is sleeping on the jury summons now. Fitting end to his legal career. end id]

distractionsfromthefood

charlesoberonn

memeuplift

ruinedchildhood

differentcatcat

Priceless. Will need therapy.

lonelyspect12

donnamissal

parasect

Thanks, tumblr mobile, for unintentionally making this even funnier

po-acus

Just as I said, “is this ever going to load?” One gif loaded and honestly it answered my question perfectly.

sternenhimmel-mond

Together they create the full set.

bartziefluff

saw this again on my dash after reblog and…

tuntematonkorppi

tumblr black out poetry

chilewithcarnage

there is no discourse between gen z and millenials. we are siblings. come on lil bro, ill take you to amc. yeah we can go there early and play the arcade games before the movie starts.

midlifecrisis2021

Can we get popcorn and a drink to share :)

chilewithcarnage

we sure can buddy, we sure can

microwaveabl

Why do the two reblogs read like a soldier dying in their friends arms and talking about when they’ll get back home to give them a bit of comfort before they die