im soup
if i fits im soup
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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cherry valley forever
styofa doing anything
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wallacepolsom

titsay

JVL

Kaledo Art
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda

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Misplaced Lens Cap
RMH

祝日 / Permanent Vacation

Andulka
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
we're not kids anymore.
Sweet Seals For You, Always

Product Placement

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@typicaldragons
im soup
if i fits im soup
Sometimes I have an entire conversation with Ripley before stepping back and realizing how cool that is.
I arrive home late from a potluck and the house is dark. From the bottom of the stairs I say, "Hey Ripley, I'm back."
"Wanna come out," he answers, which is a pretty standard reply when I first get home. It's midnight, way past his bedtime, but he hasn't been out of his cage at all today because we're dog sitting my mom's very untrustworthy dog (with whom Ripley is unfortunately fascinated). So I say, "Sure."
As I walk into his room he lifts up a foot in a way I recognize as meaning "I'm ready to step onto your hand," so as I open his door I say, "Let's go in the kitchen." I offer him the chance to poop in the trash can, but he declines with a small clicking noise. I ask him if he would sit on a chair, but warn him that first I need to move Coat Shirt off of it (shirt is his catch-all word for clothing), and he makes a little "hm" of acknowledgment.
After he steps onto the back of the chair I say, "I've gotta go downstairs, can I leave you up here for a minute?"
"Okay," he answers as I leave the room.
Upon returning I say, "Thanks for waiting in here." It's taken years of practice for me to talk to Ripley like he's a person (he is), but now it's second nature. He gets insistent if I'm quiet for too long.
"Do want a carrot," Ripley says, leaning toward the fridge.
"I can get you a carrot." My usual reply when he asks for a healthy food. I hand him a baby carrot from the fridge.
He takes a couple bites and shakes the carrot around gingerly in his foot. "I like it."
"I'm glad. Can I touch you?" I reach out to pet his back but he gives me a subtle look: a twitch of his pupils and a fractional declination of his head that means "no thank you." Ignoring this is a serious offense.
"Okay, no touch. A kiss, then?" He leans toward me and squints: an invitation. As I lean back, he makes a trilling sound and smushes the top of his head against my face. "Thank you," I say.
After several more kisses I ask him what kind of bedtime treat he wants. "A peanut."
A lot of our conversation is verbal, sure, but a good deal of it is also nonverbal. Most parrots don't talk, but all of them communicate with their flock in very precise, intentional ways.
the IT department at my job got me with the goose i'm
If you don’t know what someone needs, kindness is a good start.
applying for jobs like
SIR
What the hell are you wearing?
what we see:
what @staff sees:
beepboop. censorbot approved
This couldn’t possibly have been executed better. Thank you so much censorbot.
Friendly reminder: when people say ‘as long as you tried your best’ it doesn’t mean ‘the best you could possibly have done ever’ it means ‘the best you were capable of at the time.’ Sometimes ‘trying your best’ is just getting out of bed in the morning. Just because you weren’t working yourself to the bone doesn’t mean you weren’t trying your best.
i want a restraining order on everyone who doesn’t wear deodorant
Deodorant is nasty. What do y'all think people smelled like up until 70 years ago??
Bad.
1. Perfume.
2. Soap. Yeah, they had soap from a pretty early point. Sometimes it was scented and sometimes it just smelled like lye, but there you go. Ditto scented powders, lotions, hair products, cosmetics, etc.
3. Whatever their clothes smelled like. Not always body odor. Linen was worn next to the skin with masculine and feminine clothing alike for a LOT of western history, to wick up sweat. I’ve worn a linen chemise under a long-sleeved Edwardian summer dress in Manhattan in August, and even after like six hours, my dress smelled faintly of the lavender it was stored with. My chemise reeked when I got undressed later, but none of the smell had escaped. No joke. Shit really works.
4. Occupational smells. A baker might smell of bread and faintly of sweat, a blacksmith of sweat and iron, a medieval priest of incense, a Victorian teacher of chalk, etc.
5. Yes, sometimes bad. But not everyone by a long shot, and not all the time.
Also they definitely didn’t want to smell bad, and used all resources available to them to avoid it. So, barring any allergies, use some damn deodorant.
this has the aura of being funny but i genuinely have no idea what the fuck any of them are saying
bööls of wa’ah
this is what Scottish Twitter is supposed to sound like
oh HELL YEAH
🐱✨🍀
What I expected moving to texas: oh hm, cowboy boot... steak..,? the ole' prairie. youve been invited to,come lasso a tumbleweed,! 'howdy there sherriff' as a tramp stamp tattoo. Sweet teA hp potion... country girls make do
What I got when I moved to texas: i cant really leave the house bc theres about 20-30 of these big blue crabs that came up from their underground tunnels bc of the wet and rainy weather all standing on the patio having a fucking clawnference meeting
Texas:*spawns crab* *spawns crab* *spawns crab* *spawns crab* *spawns crab* *spawns crab* *spawns crab* *spawns crab* *spawns crab* *spawns crab* *spawns crab* *spawns crab* *spawns crab* *spawns crab* *spawns crab* *spawns crab* *spawns crab* *spawns crab* *spawns crab* *spawns crab* *spa
@elemental-puppydragon