here in 3D: a don draper dyke

they/she | ona/jej po polsku przyjaciele | 22 | poland | my mind is currently a cohabitation district for characters from the long walk, the pitt, stranger things, twd, middle earth, ever after high, the terror and mlp

[carnage-cathedral]

my partner said something that kinda rocked my world

[ascoev-s]

goofies

[sunderwight]

Mulan AU where she does get caught by the other fresh recruits while she's bathing but Mushu helps her spin it like the lake is cursed by an evil lizard demon and will turn men into women if they stay in it for too long.

From there it's not actually difficult to get the other soldiers onboard with covering up the fact that poor Ping took one for the team and got afflicted by the vagina curse, especially since it would have been all of them if they hadn't gotten the warning ahead of time. So they agree to help him cover it up, because obviously the army's not going to understand.

Shang is... tentatively glad that the men are bonding and getting along, even if they continue to be deeply weird about it.

[great-art-and-a-purple-tongue]

Ling: Hey man, what's up— you've got boobs?!?!

Mulan: Uh, what boobs? Huh? Where did these come from?

Mushu: *facepalms and thinks quickly* (speaks from the shadows) I AM THE SPIRIT OF THE LAKE! BEWARE MY CURSED WATERS FOR THEY WILL TURN MEN INTO WOMEN!

Ling, Yao, and Chien Po: Oh no! The spirit of the cursed waters!

[scribeofchaos]

Chi-Fu: SHE'S A WOMAN LI SHANG!

Mulan: Look-

Ling, Yao, and Chien Po: WE CAN EXPLAIN!!

[One convoluted, chaotic explanation later]

Shang: ...is this why you've all been insisting we don't camp anywhere that doesn't have a lake.

Shang: and then none of you actually swim in it.

Shang: and you all keep jumping at shadows.

Shang: wait a second Ping did this happen before or after you became insanely good at fighting?

Shang: did you get better at fighting after you became a woman.

Shang: are women better at fighting than us.

Mulan: ....uh. well. maybe? no one's ever tried to find out.

Yao: [thinking very fast] y'know Captain it's just so hard to find recruits these days.

Chien Po: Real shortage of men.

Ling: Lots of women, though.

Mulan: [catching on] Without marriage prospects.

Shang: You're right, men. The spirits must have done this in order to show us that we should be recruiting women as fighters.

Mushu [from the shadows, seeing an opportunity to do the funniest thing]: EXACTLY, LI SHANG. I HAVE TRANSFORMED PING INTO A WOMAN BECAUSE YOU HAVE TOO LONG OVERLOOKED THE TRUE WAY TO WIN THE WAR.

Mulan [seeing an opportunity to get all the stories straight]: O Great Spirit, is it reversible?

Mushu: WHY WOULD YOU WISH TO REJECT MY GIFT? I HAVE SEEN YOUR HEART, CHILD, AND HAVE ALREADY ALTERED THE MEMORIES OF EVERYONE WHO KNEW YOU BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR THE ARMY. YOU HAVE ALWAYS BEEN THEIR DAUGHTER.

Li Shang: Welp, the spirits have spoken. Ping - wait is your name still Ping if you're a woman now?

Mulan: Uh. Actually, I was thinking of renaming myself. How do you feel about Mulan?

BONUS:

Mulan [climbing out of the eleventh lake the men have arranged for her to swim in]: Yeah no, it didn't work. Still got boobs. [tries to appear dejected].

Chien Po: If it makes you feel better, they're very nice boobs.

Mulan: Thanks, Chien Po.

[somestorythoughts]

Mulan and Mushu, somehow opperating on the same wavelength: oh haven't you heard?

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Bedtime should work like in computer games where I lie down and click "yes" on a menu and then there's an eight hour timeskip and I can get up again all refreshed.

[pseudonymjones]

why do i always fall for this precise ship dynamic

[ankhlesbian]

Does anyone have that geats gif where the guy is dodging bullets by doing the fish flop

[excadrill]

o7

[pien-art]

Lingua Amputo 👅✂️

[chiptrillino-art]

(ID in ALT text) its been a while since i posted some outfit doodles. not like these are new. they are from last year. but i never know where and how to upload these so here we go. at least the third ones pose is a bit funny hahah.

side note sokkas outfit in the third image is inspired by Victoria Kakuktinniq 2020 New York Fashion Week Ukiaksaq collection

[bluering8]

listen to me, this is so so important: you've gotta get used to really giving it your 60% as a default. like don't half-ass it necessarily but try not to go over 70% or so of an ass. you'll feel better and live a happier more fulfilled life, and on the rare occasions where you do need to lock the fuck in you'll be able to pull off bullshit that the sad miserable wretches giving it their 100% can never dream of, because they're busy draining themselves dry and you have energy reserves to spare.

[merlepsblog]

Platonic here, inappropriate there, no but actually the funniest thing about the Whitaker-Amy situation is that these two pictures are just ten months apart. Amy lost the "love of her life," had a baby, and is at risk of having to sell her home, but ten months of hanging with Whitaker was enough to transform her from a devout, staid woman in the most unflattering 1970s maternity blouse into a fashionable smiling young person with a proper haircut. She even dyed her hair! She lost the cross necklace! That's the power of vintage funk! The avocado diet glow-up! Listen, I don't know if this is Whitaker stealthily queer-eyeing his new friend, or if his dick is truly magical, but either way this woman is living her best life.

[hyodyton]

[artaudmatic]

Girls who are gonna be ok <3

[tr-shb-g]

*this meeting could have been an email voice* this cgi could have been a puppet

[piernik-miodowy]

“Boogie Street ‘52, Revachol” (Kim has this in his wallet)

A revamp of my 2022 Disco piece hehe

[tuna-jsgross]

Absorbing the many Kingdon parallels in the show [S2 Ep2 = S2 Ep12]

NERDS THEY’RE NERDSSS ren fair date asap nowwww

[alicent-florent]

The Other Bennet Sister (2026)

[youre-my-too-much]

My toxic trait is that I love domesticated spider he’s so funny he’s like a little dog in Missy’s purse and I think that’s what he was born to do