I have this headcanon for Alastor's back story where he's trans, and just as himself, as he is in the show, even as a kid. So his parents sent him of to a convent, were upon ww1 breaking out in his late teens, he ran away, forged a new identity as a man, got found out once he was already over seas, blackmailed a superior into letting him stay on, where he was introduced to radio communication, and the rest is history.
But all that to say, I like to then imagine, whenever anyone tells him something mildly outlandish, but definitely true, he likes to respond with "Yes, Vox, and I took a vow of celibacy when I was a catholic nun"
To which of course people think, "so you don't belive me? I mean but aren't you a virgin? Are you not????"
And of course, this never gets asked because who's gonna ask The Radio Demom about his Sexy Life.
I imagine him doing an interview on Al's Show, just a mix of publicity for them both, hanging out because they're friends, and it's all a big middle finger to the Vee's.
Maybe it's pride month and so they were planning some talk about that, Alastor joking about a possible comming out, even though its plenty well know Alastor is some where on the ace spectrum to anyone with eyes.
They get on the topic somehow, Angel says something like, "I never laid myself across the bar like that! Second set of arms at most! Never my butt, never mind my legs! not after the first time!"
"Mh-hm. You got desperate in your flirting, and I took a vow of celibacy, when I was a nun. We all do silly things, Angel."
"Well, maybe I've laid out on the pool table, but it makes for good pictures. Anyway, I been meaning to ask you about that."
"No," angel laughs, plays it off, thinking he's joking. "About your being ace and all. No pressure, but like, you really never even wanted to try?"
"No, I find it quite repulsive. The idea even,"
"You don't watch nothin'? Read nothing either?"
"Ha! No! The filthy little novel Sister Amillia sneaked in the once was quite enough- are you okay Angel?"
Angel had infact just chocked on his latte. "Wait? Sister Amillia? Sneaked in? To where!?"
"The convent, Angel. I was 14, she was 16. Wonderful woman, taught me how to handle a knife, she left shortly after the novel was discovered- Sister Tabitha was as squeaky a little rat as she looked- never saw Amillia again, though."
"Wait, sorry. You were a nun, like, actually? What the fuck?"
One of the little lights that says they have a caller lit up, but Alastor ignore it for now. "Yes, Angel, do keep up."
"Wait, so like that nun costume you wear on halloween?" Angel blows right past the fact Alastor just came out as trans, because yeah. Didnt see it comming but, the trains already wizzing by, and more importantly- "Is that like your actual nun costume?"
"Ha! No, I flung that horrid thing in a garbage can on my way to the enlistment office when I was 17."
"Enlistment?" Angels begining to see what Alastor meant when he said this episode was going to be a unique experience for his listeners at the start of the braodcast. "Like world War 1, right? You were alive for that..."
"Yes, I figured with all the confusion one little girl-"
Angel's phone goes off. It's Val. Angel hits ignore.
"Fuck off Val, I'm off today" Angel says into his mic.
But they get interrupted again and again until Angel turns his phone off.
At which point all twelve of the little light that indicate the show had callers on the line, light up.
"Ah fuck. What does he want that bad? Can you just answer it real quick?"
Alastor flips a switch and answers.
"I'm not calling for you!" It's Vox on the other end, his voice booming from the speaker "Alastor! Are you fucking serious? You were a fucking nun?"
"Yes, Vox." He says with faux patience. "My goodness, did you all stuff your ears with cotton this morn-"
"So you DID actually take a vow of Celibacy? The other day at the meeting during my presentation, you said "that'll work, Vox, sure- and I took a vow-"
"Celibacy, among other things. If this is a dig at my sexuality than-"
"Nah fuck that, hang on I'm doing math! Okay you were born in 1901, makes you 17 in 1918, yeah that tracks. Okay so 2024 make you 123, minus the 17 years to be conservative, thats 106 yeah?"
"I was 15 when I took that vow, and under threat of being institutionalized, if that's what you're getting at-"
"108! Ha! Oh my God! 108 years! That's gotta be a record!"
"What are you getting at Vox?"
"You took a vow!" Vox screams through his laughter. "All the pomp and circumstance! On consecrated ground! before god!? To abstain from sex! And even here in hell, were sin and blasphemy are rampant and free-"
"Careful Vox, your televangelist is showing-"
"Who gives a fuck!? You're the one whos upheld their vow to God for over a century like some devout saint!"
Angel and Alastor sit there staring at eachother while Vox laughs his head off around them
"Saint Alastor the Abstinent! The pantron Saint of Virgi-"
Alastor hangs up. "Well that was informative!" Alastor chirps "Well, What's to be done about this? Hm, Angel?"
And for some reason, an unholy one, surely, the first thing out of Angel's mouth is "I could suck you dick? If that- would count?"
And it's a testament to how far they've come as friends, or pooooossbily Alastor's nerves, or maybe his sheer unwavering bravado, but Alastor only bursts out laughing, shaking his head as he get out between laughter "I don't- have one!"
And then they're both laughing and laughing and laughing, and eventually they calm down, and Alastor gets a thoughtful look. "Though, Vox did have one good point."
"That does have to be a recorded, at least among sinners. Why! I very well might have redeemed myself! We should certainly bring this up with Sera at the next conference!"
And then their off both laughing again, imaging Serra's face when she realises she's going to have to look into yet more research onto the workings of redemption from Heaven's end.
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