uniquely_insane

[uroko]

L B

[mrdarcysdadbod]

Jane "I can fix him" Eyre vs Cathy "I can make him worse" Earnshaw

[aesthetic-background]

/ / Piano / /

/ / Background / Lockscreen / /

@generalbagelathletepie asked:

Hi, I recently found a post of yours with the violin as the theme. I thought it was beautifully done and wondered whether you could make a piano variant. I would really appreciate it as I love and play both instruments. I hope my request is clear enough! :) Ps: love your work!

[uniquely-insane]

Happy World Piano Day ❤️

[uniquely-insane]

THE MONTH WAS FEBRUARY 💔

February has always been celebrated as the "month of love" all over the world; where people cherish each other, hand out cards and flowers, and spend time with their loved ones. But now, love has been overthrown by hatred. Instead of sending flowers, people are dropping bombs and instead of expressing gratitude to their loved ones, people are wailing goodbyes as thousands of innocent people are losing their lives.

The other day, I read an interesting tweet that said "Is the pandemic over"? To this, someone replied, "Yes, we don't need the virus now. We've gone back to killing each other. Good old days". And this, unfortunately, has been the contribution of human beings to this world. We have wasted billions of dollars and millions of lives for the vested interest of a handful of power hungry individuals, over and over again. We have been emotionally manipulated for centuries into thinking that war is glory. It is not. War is not the solution to anything, rather it is the cause of a thousand other problems thereafter.

The losses of a war is certainly not possible to quantify. We can try and get a death toll, or the money spent in purchasing ammunition or maybe estimate the amount of destruction caused. However, that is just the tip of the iceberg. Underneath the water lies the rest of it, the gigantic and fear invoking truth. The loss of lives means a decrease in the working population of any country that will decrease production, which in turn will reduce GDP, impacting growth negatively. The money and resources that were lost in the war could have been diverted to aspects of development that would have created a long lasting impact on several generations to come. But most importantly, being stranded in a war breaks families apart, causes tremendous emotional damage, changes the perspective of thinking; and the sight of death, blood and helplessness traumatizes most people for life.

Therefore, a war is neither glorious nor poetic. Waging a war is an act of pure evil and a tool of mass destruction and oppression. We need to remember that we cannot give in to the relentless tyranny and flawed ideologies of the people in power. They aren't our true leaders because a leader strives to achieve something good for the people and encourages the masses to do the same, unlike the powerful tyrants who sit back comfortably in their offices, while they order innocent people to go out in the battlefield and leave them to die.

We, the common people, are one and we need to stay united. We cannot allow the oppressors to have the better of us and divide us up in the name of patriotism. Therefore, in this month of love, let us stand in unison and take an oath to spread harmony, peace and kindness and to not support the propaganda of the oppressors trying to rip the world apart.

[skullchicken]

Random socializing tip: Tell people when they’ve had a positive impact on your life!

e.g.: “Hey, remember when I asked you for advice on X? That was really helpful, I tried it and now (insert what has improved)”

“You kept gushing about (insert series/book/movie/recipe) and made it sound really appealing, so I checked it out and I really liked it!”

“Thank you for letting me vent recently, telling you what bothered me really helped me to work through it / helped me see it from another perspective / gave me the courage to address it with the person I was talking about.”

It helps people see their own strong points, it deepens your relationships, it makes the people in your life feel appreciated and special and it can give you warm fuzzy feelings!

Win/win all around!

[uniquely-insane]

That is the perfect way to make someone's day, save yourself out of awkwardness and save the day.

[yoko-goto]

Reblog if you think a woman can be complete without children

[cj-can-art]

Y’ALL HAVE TIME TO REBLOG THIS. IT TAKES LESS THAN FIVE SECONDS.

[caffiend-queen-deactivated20260]

You know, I have three children, but it still astounds me that a statement like this should even have to be made. Are we STILL determining a woman’s worth by what the random dictates of society assign to her? The only person who decides if a woman’s life is compete is her.

[oddeyesarcpendulumdragon]

based on a true story

[real-life-pine-tree]

I don’t think Fortnite is to blame for kids nowadays not reading…

[askshadetrixieandfamily]

That’s the joke. It’s the authoritarian overbearing parent.

[ranty9000]

He was being sarcastic lol

[draconic-duelist]

Reminded me of these

[vaporwavevocap]

That violin one hit close to home.

[kaldicuct]

I remember doing homework once, asked my grandmother if she was proud of me. “Do some thing for me to be proud of.” That hurt.

[bundibird]

That comic up there – I witnessed almost that exact scenario. Teacher wanted the kids to all pick books. One kid spots something on the shelf and gets visibly excited. Pulls it out and starts reading. Teacher sees it, snatches it off him and tells him that this is a book for 8 year olds (the kid was 15ish) and tells him to get a book more appropriate for his age. Kid slouches around the shelves for about 10 minutes, finally picks up a book at random and sits in his chair tucking the edges of each page into the binding to make that looped-page look. He didn’t read a word. He sat there and did this to his book for the remainder of the reading session:

He had been genuinely excited about the 8 year old book he’d picked up. It was a new one in a series he used to read as a younger kid. He’d been actively sitting and reading, and then he was embarrassed in front of his classmates, told off for reading a kids book, and voila. He lost all enthusiasm for reading anything else that day.

What’s worse? That kid had been hit by a car like a year and a half earlier. Severe brain trauma. Had to re-learn a lot of basic things, like how to speak and how to read.

An 8 year old book would have been perfect for him. Easy enough to read that it would have helped rebuild his confidence in his own reading ability. A book meant for 15/16 years olds? A lot harder to read than a book for 8 year olds. Especially if you’re recovering from a relatively recent brain injury.

And yeah, the teacher knew all about his brain injury, and the recovery. He just seemed go be of the opinion that the kid was 15, so he should be reading books for 15 year olds, irrespective of brain injury.

[mighty-meerkat]

Reading this thread I’m reminded of Daniel Pennae’s The Rights of the Reader, which can be found in a lot of bookshops and school libraries: 

The child speaking at the bottom in Quentin Blake’s distinctive spiky handwriting is saying ‘10 rights, 1 warning: Don’t make fun of people who don’t read - or they never will’

[ffdemon]

I have work for nearly five years in a bookstore and an we put that poster in the child section. Because I feel some parents see their child reading as a internal competition.  Let them enjoy what they want.. Let YOU enjoy want you want.

[aqueerkettleofish]

This is a very powerful life hack.

[eternalroo76]

[paris-in-flames]

[Video Description: A tiktok by @/josephschles. It shows a doorway, and there is text on the screen that reads, “How to deal with toxic families during the holidays - life hack.” A man walks through the doorway with a covered bowl and says, “Hi everyone, happy Thanksgiving, I brought cookies!” Voices offscreen say, “Wow, you really gained some weight. Save some cookies for the rest of us.” and “Do me a favor and don't bring up your lgbt stuff tonight.”

The camera switches so it is facing the man's side. He turns to it, puts his hand towards his face as if he's whispering, and says, “They don't know that I know this hack.” He then turns towards the door and walks out. /End description.

Image Description: A picture of a human skeleton posed to look as if it's running. On top of the image is text in different fonts reading: "Just walk out! You can leave! Work, social thing, movies, home, class, dentist, clothes shopping, too fancy weed store, cops if you're quick, friendship— if it sucks (elipses) hit the bricks! Real winners quit! The share zone." /End Description.]

[aqueerkettleofish]

Well, this resonated. Reblogging for this addition, and adding the link for https://www.tiktok.com/@josephschles/video/7035408181220134190

The above post is tagged:

#original video description by @describing-images

[uniquely-insane]

This should be taught in schools!! Basic life hacks for a peaceful mind.

[porkue-deactivated20230306]

the circle of fifths is absolutely everything.

everything about music is in this image

[porkue-deactivated20230306]

harmonies are defined by this circle. The farther away a note is from another the more dissonant it is. Take C for example. F and G are right next to it, and they sound beautiful when either is played with C. But on the opposite end is F#, the tritone, the devil’s note. It is more dissonant than if you played two notes right next to each other on the piano. If you move clockwise from C, the first four notes after is are G D A E. Put them in rising order, what do you get? C D E G A, which is the major pentatonic scale. Why is this important? Because of the math behind tonality. The sine wave of each tone created another internal sine wave that resonates at the next clockwise note. In woodwinds, we call this overblow. In brass, as far as I know, this is just the different registers a player uses. The note A4 is 440hz. 880hz brings it up and octave and 220hz brings it down an octave. The next clockwise note is E. The hertz of E4? 660hz, splitting the difference perfectly.

There are notes within the notes, sounds within the sounds, and the circle of fifths reveal it all. Eventually, you can extrapolate this to get another note within a note, and for A that note is C#. A C# and E gets you what? A major triad, the A major chord.

But the circle does more than just that. The most common chord progression is ii-7 V7 I^7. Minor two chord, dominant five chord, major one chord. In the key of C, that’s D-7 to G7 to C^7. Which is just going backward on the circle of fifths. But let’s break it down further. D minor seven consists of D F A C. G dominant seven consists of G B D F. C major seven consists of C E G B. Do you see the pattern? In each chord, there is a note from the previous. This consistency between chords make them sound good together, but the circle already knew this. The circle knows everything. All of music is in the circle of fifths. Albums, concertos, symphonies, all in a circle. it’s beautiful

[porkue-deactivated20230306]

BEHOLD

[programmerhumour]

Once upon a time…

[friendly-neighborhood-ehrhardt]

[thebeanestbad]

[personification-of-anxiety]

I really wish the overused sentence “You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain.” was less relevant but here we are

[annashipper]

To think that once upon a time Google’s moto was “don’t be evil”…

[oscarwetnwilde]

[astro-vee]

I will never not reblog this.

[mrositonegro-deactivated2020110]

Ding

[housecatincarnate]

[musicalmelody22]

Fun Story: My director kept telling me and my tenor sax buddy to play softer. No matter what we did, it wasn’t soft enough for him. So getting frustrated, I told my buddy “Dont play this time. Just fake it” 

Our Band Director then informed us we sounded perfect. 

[fororchestra]

To my readers: “p” means quiet, “pp” means really quiet. I’ve never seen “pppp” before haha.

On the contrast, “f” means loud, and “ffff” probably means so loud you go unconscious.

[corruptbucky]

I had ffff in a piece once and my conductor told me to play as loudly as physically possible without falling off my chair…

[justtkeepcalmm-deactivated20250]

Me and my trombone buddies had “ffff” and he sat next to me and played so hard that he fell out of his chair.

The lengths we go for music.

[lady-gorthaur]

Okay yeah so I play the bass clarinet and the amount of air you have to move and the stiffness of the reed means it only has two settings and that is loud and louder, with an optional LOUDEST that includes a 50% probability of HORRIBLE CROAKING NOISE which is the bass equivalent of the ubiquitous clarinet shriek.

[elsajeni]

One day, when I was in concert band in high school, we got a new piece handed out for the first time, and there was a strange little commotion back in the tuba section — whispering, and pointing at something in the music, and swatting at each other’s hands all shhh don’t call attention to it. And although they did attract the attention of basically everyone else in the band, they managed to avoid being noticed by the band director, who gave us a few minutes to look over our parts and then said, “All right, let’s run through it up to section A.”

And here we are, cheerfully playing along, sounding reasonably competent — but everyone, when they have the attention to spare, is keeping an eye on the tuba players. They don’t come in for the first eight measures or so, and then when they do come in, what we see is:

[stifled giggling]

[reeeeeeally deep breath]

[COLOSSAL FOGHORN NOISE]

The entire band stops dead, in the cacophonous kind of way that a band stops when it hasn’t actually been cued to stop. The band director doesn’t even say anything, just looks straight back at the tubas and makes a helpless sort of why gesture.

In unison, the tuba players defend themselves: “THERE WERE FOUR F’S.”

FFFF is not really a rational dynamic marking for any instrument, but for the love of all that is holy why would you put it in a tuba part.

[minguskingus]

This is the best band post 

Everyone else go home

[oxboold-deactivated20180729]

Oh man, so I play trombone, and we got this piece called Florentiner Marsch by Julius Fucik, and we saw this

which is 8 fortes. We were shocked until,

that is 24 fortes who the fuck does that

[prokopetz]

Who does that?

This guy. Take a good look - that is the moustache of a man with nothing to lose.

[vivelafat]

Julius IdontgivaFucik

[chaosdem0n]

Julius Fuckit

[uniquely-insane]

Here is our first release on Spotify and Amazon Music. Please click on the Links below 👇🏻 and don't forget to like and share!

https://open.spotify.com/track/3FDSQ97xyYvzKIUnz2q87J?si=Lk1zmNIsQkWpfPs4So8Ofw&utm_source=whatsapp&dl_branch=1

https://music.amazon.in/albums/B097D1WYL7?trackAsin=B097D1DLPH&ref=dm_sh_h9IAGTkTDxHiVXGmuG5pKHghL

There couldn't have been a happier way to start my mom's birthday. 🌻❤️

[thetroublesofbeingtrans]

I recently came out to my mother's side of the family who are majority conservative christians and it went much better than I expected. Like, they were weirdly supportive. I only got one comment insinuating that I might possibly be going to hell but it came from my aunt and she's dying soon anyway so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. Anyway, I'm telling them how shocked I am and that I honestly thought that they'd have more of a problem with it when my grandma is like "Well you know we've been through this before with your uncle Nicky" and I'm like "what" and so it turns out that my uncle Nick was born a Natalie, came out as a boy at 19, and my great grandma proceeded to pay for his top surgery and hormone therapy. In 1974. And I just had to process for a bit because my entire life no one has referred to him as anything other than he/him and his chosen name. I ask why no one ever thought to mention this and they're just like "tbh we forgot. It's been so long that he's been a man" This man is married. He has a wife and three kids. I ask my relatives how they went about having kids, whether through adoption or sperm donor or what and none of them know. Apparently he just told everyone that they were gonna be parents and then one day showed up at my grandma's house with a baby. No questions were asked. Just. He and his wife had a baby now and that was that. Three times. Weeks later when I finally talk to my aunt Sarah (Nick's wife) all she tells me is that neither of them have ever been pregnant and, I quote, "sometimes you just come into children". She phrased it like people use the phrase "come into money". Like children are something that just happens to you. I ask my relatives if any of them had a problem with Nick being trans at the time, saying I'd understand if they had negative feelings about it, as it was the 1970s after all. They were like "nope" and i was just like "you didn't think anything of it?" And my grandfather was like "these things happen" while the other adults nodded sagely. So I guess the moral here is that if my conservative christian relatives could accept my uncle as trans in the 1970s then there really isn't any excuse for anyone. And also my family needs to ask more questions because I'm fairly sure my aunt and uncle stole their kids.

I'm laughing my ass off at that last sentence- But I'm so glad your coming out went well! That's one heck of a way to find out you have LGBT relatives.

[tacosaur24]

That was a hell of a rollercoaster

[uniquely-insane]

First time trying Mandala Art, and already in love with it. One thing I learnt from this workshop is that patience and calmness are two very important virtues. #spiritualmandala #healingmandala #wellness #mandalaart #happiness

[westieronto]

How most people with invisible illnesses are treated by health care “professionals”

[thefemcritique]

The Golden Girls didn’t fuck around

[pardonmewhileipanic]

pls watch

honestly i really appreciated this scene when I first saw it bc it took me like two years to get a diagnosis for what’s wrong with me

[mttheww]

Dorothy:  Dr. Budd?

Dr. Budd:  Yes?

Dorothy:  You probably don’t remember me, but you told me I wasn’t sick.  Do you remember?  You told me I was just getting old.

Dr. Budd:  I’m sorry, I really don’t–

Dorothy:  Remember.  Maybe you’re getting old.  That’s a little joke.  Well, I tell you, Dr. Budd, I really am sick.  I have chronic fatigue syndrome.  That is a real illness.  You can check with the Center for Disease Control.

Dr. Budd:  Huh.  Well, I’m sorry about that.

Dorothy:  Well, I’m glad!  At least I know I have something.

Dr. Budd:  I’m sure.  Well, nice seeing you.

Dorothy:  Not so fast.  There are some things I have to say.  There are a lot of things that I have to say.  Words can’t express what I have to say.  [tearing up]  What I went through, what you put me through—I can’t do this in a restaurant.

Dr. Budd:  Good!

Dorothy:  But I will!

Dr. Budd’s date:  Louis, who is this person?

Dr. Budd:  Look, Miss–

Dorothy:  Sit.  I sat for you long enough.  Dr. Budd, I came to you sick—sick and scared—and you dismissed me.  You didn’t have the answer, and instead of saying “I’m sorry, I don’t know what’s wrong with you,” you made me feel crazy, like I had made it all up.  You dismissed me!  You made me feel like a child, a fool, a neurotic who was wasting your precious time.  Is that your caring profession?  Is that healing?  No one deserves that kind of treatment, Dr. Budd, no one.  I suspect had I been a man, I might have been taken a bit more seriously, and not told to go to a hairdresser.

Dr. Budd:  Look, I am not going to sit here anymore–

Dr. Budd’s date:  Shut up, Louis.

Dorothy:  I don’t know where you doctors lose your humanity, but you lose it.  You know, if all of you, at the beginning of your careers, could get very sick and very scared for a while, you’d probably learn more from that than anything else.  You’d better start listening to your patients.  They need to be heard.  They need caring.  They need compassion.  They need attending to.  You know, someday, Dr. Budd, you’re gonna be on the other side of the table, and as angry as I am, and as angry as I always will be, I still wish you a better doctor than you were to me.

[jennytrout]

Reblogging for any of my mutuals who’ve ever dealt with Dr. Budd.

[fuck-yeah-dylan]

Golden Girls tackled many issues for women/gays/elderly/minorities in general. And they did it at a time whe no one else was. This is such a great show. If you watch the pilot you see they wanted to have a gay chef. He disappeared after the pilot but it shows you how far they wanted to go at a time when that wasn’t happening. This is a great show. Watch every episode. And then watch them again. I heard a rumor GG was coming to Disney+. I can’t wait to binge again.

[shelbys-advice-blog]

I want to live by myself when I move out of my parent's place but I'm really afraid of money problems? I'm afraid that the only place I can afford will be in the ghetto and it'll all be torn apart and I'll only be allowed to eat one granola bar a week. I'm really stressing out about this. I don't know anything about after school life. I don't know anything about paying bills or how to buy an apartment and it's really scaring me. is there anything you know that can help me?

HI darling,

I’ve actually got a super wonderful masterpost for you to check out:

Home

what the hell is a mortgage?

first apartment essentials checklist

how to care for cacti and succulents

the care and keeping of plants

Getting an apartment

Money

earn rewards by taking polls

how to coupon

what to do when you can’t pay your bills

see if you’re paying too much for your cell phone bill

how to save money

How to Balance a Check Book

How to do Your Own Taxes

Health

how to take care of yourself when you’re sick

things to bring to a doctor’s appointment

how to get free therapy

what to expect from your first gynecologist appointment

how to make a doctor’s appointment

how to pick a health insurance plan

how to avoid a hangover

a list of stress relievers

how to remove a splinter

Emergency

what to do if you get pulled over by a cop

a list of hotlines in a crisis

things to keep in your car in case of an emergency

how to do the heimlich maneuver

Job

time management

create a resume

find the right career

how to pick a major

how to avoid a hangover

how to interview for a job

how to stop procrastinating

How to write cover letters

Travel

ULTIMATE PACKING LIST

Traveling for Cheap

Travel Accessories

The Best Way to Pack a Suitcase

How To Read A Map

How to Apply For A Passport

How to Make A Travel Budget

Better You

read the news

leave your childhood traumas behind

how to quit smoking

how to knit

how to stop biting your nails

how to stop procrastinating

how to stop skipping breakfast

how to stop micromanaging

how to stop avoiding asking for help

how to stop swearing constantly

how to stop being a pushover

learn another language

how to improve your self-esteem

how to sew

learn how to embroider

how to love yourself

100 tips for life

Apartments/Houses/Moving

Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 1: Are You Sure? (The Responsible One)

Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 2: Finding the Damn Apartment (The Responsible One)

Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 3: Questions to Ask about the Damn Apartment (The Responsible One)

Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 4: Packing and Moving All of Your Shit (The Responsible One)

How to Protect Your Home Against Break-Ins (The Responsible One)

Education

How to Find a Fucking College (The Sudden Adult)

How to Find Some Fucking Money for College (The Sudden Adult)

What to Do When You Can’t Afford Your #1 Post-Secondary School (The Sudden Adult)

Stop Shitting on Community College Kids (Why Community College is Fucking Awesome) (The Responsible One)

How to Ask for a Recommendation Letter (The Responsible One)

How to Choose a College Major (The Sudden Adult)

Finances

How to Write a Goddamn Check (The Responsible One)

How to Convince Credit Companies You’re Not a Worthless Bag of Shit (The Responsible One)

Debit vs Credit (The Responsible One)

What to Do if Your Wallet is Stolen/Lost (The Sudden Adult)

Budgeting 101 (The Responsible One)

Important Tax Links to Know (The Responsible One)

How to Choose a Bank Without Screwing Yourself (The Responsible One)

Job Hunting

How to Write a Resume Like a Boss (The Responsible One)

How to Write a Cover Letter Someone Will Actually Read (The Responsible One)

How to Handle a Phone Interview without Fucking Up (The Responsible One)

10 Sites to Start Your Job Search (The Responsible One)

Life Skills

Staying in Touch with Friends/Family (The Sudden Adult)

Bar Etiquette (The Sudden Adult)

What to Do After a Car Accident (The Sudden Adult)

Grow Up and Buy Your Own Groceries (The Responsible One)

How to Survive Plane Trips (The Sudden Adult)

How to Make a List of Goals (The Responsible One)

How to Stop Whining and Make a Damn Appointment (The Responsible One)

Miscellaneous

What to Expect from the Hell that is Jury Duty (The Responsible One)

Relationships

Marriage: What the Fuck Does It Mean and How the Hell Do I Know When I’m Ready? (Guest post - The Northwest Adult)

How Fucked Are You for Moving In with Your Significant Other: An Interview with an Actual Real-Life Couple Living Together™ (mintypineapple  and catastrofries)

Travel & Vehicles

How to Winterize Your Piece of Shit Vehicle (The Responsible One)

How to Make Public Transportation Your Bitch (The Responsible One)

Other Blog Features

Apps for Asshats

Harsh Truths & Bitter Reminders

Asks I’ll Probably Need to Refer People to Later

Apartments (or Life Skills) - How Not to Live in Filth (The Sudden Adult)

Finances - Tax Basics (The Responsible One)

Important Documents - How to Get a Copy of Your Birth Certificate (The Responsible One)

Important Documents - How to Get a Replacement ID (The Responsible One)

Health - How to Deal with a Chemical Burn (The Responsible One)

Job Hunting - List of Jobs Based on Social Interaction Levels (The Sudden Adult)

Job Hunting - How to Avoid Falling into a Pit of Despair While Job Hunting (The Responsible One)

Job Hunting - Questions to Ask in an Interview (The Responsible One)

Life Skills - First-Time Flying Tips (The Sudden Adult)

Life Skills - How to Ask a Good Question (The Responsible One)

Life Skills - Reasons to Take a Foreign Language (The Responsible One)

Life Skills - Opening a Bar Tab (The Sudden Adult)

Relationships - Long Distance Relationships: How to Stay in Contact (The Responsible One)

Adult Cheat Sheet:

what to do if your pet gets lost

removing stains from your carpet

how to know if you’re eligible for food stamps

throwing a dinner party

i’m pregnant, now what?

first aid tools to keep in your house

how to keep a clean kitchen

learning how to become independent from your parents

job interview tips

opening your first bank account

what to do if you lose your wallet

tips for cheap furniture

easy ways to cut your spending

selecting the right tires for your car

taking out your first loan

picking out the right credit card

how to get out of parking tickets

how to fix a leaky faucet

get all of your news in one place

getting rid of mice & rats in your house

when to go to the e.r.

buying your first home

how to buy your first stocks

guide to brewing coffee

first apartment essentials checklist

coping with a job you hate

30 books to read before you’re 30

what’s the deal with retirement?

difference between insurances

Once you’ve looked over all those cool links, I have some general advice for you on how you can have some sort of support system going for you:

Reasons to move out of home

You may decide to leave home for many different reasons, including:

wishing to live independently

location difficulties – for example, the need to move closer to university

conflict with your parents

being asked to leave by your parents.

Issues to consider when moving out of home

It’s common to be a little unsure when you make a decision like leaving home. You may choose to move, but find that you face problems you didn’t anticipate, such as:

Unreadiness – you may find you are not quite ready to handle all the responsibilities.

Money worries – bills including rent, utilities like gas and electricity and the cost of groceries may catch you by surprise, especially if you are used to your parents providing for everything. Debt may become an issue.

Flatmate problems – issues such as paying bills on time, sharing housework equally, friends who never pay board, but stay anyway, and lifestyle incompatibilities (such as a non-drug-user flatting with a drug user) may result in hostilities and arguments.

Your parents may be worried

Think about how your parents may be feeling and talk with them if they are worried about you. Most parents want their children to be happy and independent, but they might be concerned about a lot of different things. For example:

They may worry that you are not ready.

They may be sad because they will miss you.

They may think you shouldn’t leave home until you are married or have bought a house.

They may be concerned about the people you have chosen to live with.

Reassure your parents that you will keep in touch and visit regularly. Try to leave on a positive note. Hopefully, they are happy about your plans and support your decision.

Tips for a successful move

Tips include:

Don’t make a rash decision – consider the situation carefully. Are you ready to live independently? Do you make enough money to support yourself? Are you moving out for the right reasons?

Draw up a realistic budget – don’t forget to include ‘hidden’ expenses such as the property’s security deposit or bond (usually four weeks’ rent), connection fees for utilities, and home and contents insurance.

Communicate – avoid misunderstandings, hostilities and arguments by talking openly and respectfully about your concerns with flatmates and parents. Make sure you’re open to their point of view too – getting along is a two-way street.

Keep in touch – talk to your parents about regular home visits: for example, having Sunday night dinner together every week.

Work out acceptable behaviour – if your parents don’t like your flatmate(s), find out why. It is usually the behaviour rather than the person that causes offence (for example, swearing or smoking). Out of respect for your parents, ask your flatmate(s) to be on their best behaviour when your parents visit and do the same for them.

Ask for help – if things are becoming difficult, don’t be too proud to ask your parents for help. They have a lot of life experience.

If your family home does not provide support

Not everyone who leaves home can return home or ask their parents for help in times of trouble. If you have been thrown out of home or left home to escape abuse or conflict, you may be too young or unprepared to cope.

If you are a fostered child, you will have to leave the state-care system when you turn 18, but you may not be ready to make the sudden transition to independence.

If you need support, help is available from a range of community and government organisations. Assistance includes emergency accommodation and food vouchers. If you can’t call your parents or foster parents, call one of the associations below for information, advice and assistance.

Where to get help

Your doctor

Kids Helpline Tel. [phone]

Lifeline Tel. 13 11 44

Home Ground Services Tel. [phone]

Relationships Australia Tel. [phone]

Centrelink Crisis or Special Help Tel. 13 28 50

Tenants Union of Victoria Tel. [phone]

Things to remember

Try to solve any problems before you leave home. Don’t leave because of a fight or other family difficulty if you can possibly avoid it.

Draw up a realistic budget that includes ‘hidden’ expenses, such as bond, connection fees for utilities, and home and contents insurance.

Remember that you can get help from a range of community and government organizations. 

(source)

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