Self-righteous and self-loathing @uniquelyunattrative - Tumblr Blog

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cundtcake

chibisquirt

58 seconds to demonstrate EXACTLY why professionalism requires manners.

digitaldiscipline

For those of you who do not speak Corporate, this is just:

“Fuck you.” “Fuck you, too.”

azcrowleyfell

Nah, there’s definitely some “are you fucking shitting me?” and “have you tried, perchance, using your eyeballs?” in there too.

quasi-normalcy

This is a wizard duel to me.

assiraphales

cannot stop thinking about how the season finale of fallout set up a road trip buddy comedy between a 250+ yo radiation cowboy who tried (and so far succeeded) to kill his humanity to survive the wasteland and an optimistic doe eyed woman whose whole brand is Being a Good Person (something the radiation cowboy used to be) and will undoubtedly crack away at his hardened leather armor. when lucy bit off the ghouls finger and then the ghoul cut off lucy’s that was a pinkie promise to be bffs

forfuckssakejim

Yeah quiet quitting is great and all but have you tried chaotic working?

Like. I remember back in my grocery store cashier days I did so much crazy shit.

When WIC (Women, infants, and children voucher program to help low income mothers/families with children) people were in my line I would pretty much know who they were. Before the cards they had to tell us upfront they were WIC and show us their vouchers for what they were allowed to get (it was awful some times. Like. 2 gallons of milk. $4 worth of vegetables etc etc). They’d always have items hanging back, waiting to see what the total was and if they would have to take it off the belt.

I began to place the fruits/vegetables a certain way on the register scale so that like 1/2lbs of grapes read as like .28lbs or something. Then act shocked when I said that they still had X amount of lbs left. They got all their fruit and vegetables.

I think it started to kinda? Catch on to the women? Because I would have the same moms in my line month after month. And even after they switched to the cards (they worked like food stamp cards?) I’d still do the same thing. They were able to get more produce for whatever shitty max amount Indiana gave them.

Anyways. Be chaotic. It’s more fun that way.

bshmatthews

plaguedocboi

Here it is folks:

My definitive ranking of my least favorite bodies of water! These are ranked from least to most scary (1/10 is okay, 10/10 gives me nightmares). I’m sorry this post is long, I have a lot of thoughts and feelings about this.

The Great Blue Hole, Belize

I’ve been here! I have snorkeled over this thing! It is terrifying! The water around the hole is so shallow you can’t even swim over the coral without bumping it, and then there’s a little slope down, and then it just fucking drops off into the abyss! When you’re over the hole the water temperature drops like 10 degrees and it’s midnight blue even when you’re right by the surface. Anyway. The Great Blue Hole is a massive underwater cave, and its roughly 410 feet deep. Overall, it’s a relatively safe area to swim. It’s a popular tourist attraction and recreational divers can even go down and explore some of the caves. People do die at the Blue Hole, but it is generally from a lack of diving experience rather than anything sinister going on down in the depths. My rating for this one is 1/10 because I’ve been here and although it’s kinda freaky it’s really not that bad.

Lake Baikal, Russia

When I want to give myself a scare I look at the depth diagram of this lake. It’s so deep because it’s not a regular lake, it’s a Rift Valley, A massive crack in the earth’s crust where the continental plates are pulling apart. It’s over 5,000 feet deep and contains one-fifth of all freshwater on Earth. Luckily, its not any more deadly than a normal lake. It just happens to be very, very, freakishly deep. My rating for this lake is a 2/10 because I really hate looking at the depth charts but just looking at the lake itself isn’t that scary.

Jacob’s Well, Texas

This “well” is actually the opening to an underwater cave system. It’s roughly 120 feet deep, surrounded by very shallow water. This area is safe to swim in, but diving into the well can be deadly. The cave system below has false exits and narrow passages, resulting in multiple divers getting trapped and dying. My rating is a 3/10, because although I hate seeing that drop into the abyss it’s a pretty safe place to swim as long as you don’t go down into the cave (which I sure as shit won’t).

The Devil’s Kettle, Minnesota

This is an area in the Brule River where half the river just disappears. It literally falls into a hole and is never seen again. Scientists have dropped in dye, ping pong balls, and other things to try and figure out where it goes, and the things they drop in never resurface. Rating is 4/10 because Sometimes I worry I’m going to fall into it.

Flathead Lake, Montana

Everyone has probably seen this picture accompanied by a description about how this lake is actually hundreds of feet deep but just looks shallow because the water is so clear. If that were the case, this would definitely rank higher, but that claim is mostly bull. Look at the shadow of the raft. If it were hundreds of feet deep, the shadow would look like a tiny speck. Flathead lake does get very deep, but the spot the picture was taken in is fairly shallow. You can’t see the bottom in the deep parts. However, having freakishly clear water means you can see exactly where the sandy bottom drops off into blackness, so this still ranks a 5/10.

The Lower Congo River, multiple countries

Most of the Congo is a pretty normal, if large, River. In the lower section of it, however, lurks a disturbing surprise: massive underwater canyons that plunge down to 720 feet. The fish that live down there resemble cave fish, having no color, no eyes, and special sensory organs to find their way in the dark. These canyons are so sheer that they create massive rapids, wild currents and vortexes that can very easily kill you if you fall in. A solid 6/10, would not go there.

Little Crater Lake, Oregon

On first glance this lake doesn’t look too scary. It ranks this high because I really don’t like the sheer drop off and how clear it is (because it shows you exactly how deep it goes). This lake is about 100 feet across and 45 feet deep, and I strongly feel that this is too deep for such a small lake. Also, the water is freezing, and if you fall into the lake your muscles will seize up and you’ll sink and drown. I don’t like that either. 7/10.

Grand Turk 7,000 ft drop off

No. 8/10. I hate it.

Gulf of Corryvreckan, Scotland

Due to a quirk in the sea floor, there is a permanent whirlpool here. This isn’t one of those things that looks scary but actually won’t hurt you, either. It absolutely will suck you down if you get too close. Scientists threw a mannequin with a depth gauge into it and when it was recovered the gauge showed it went down to over 600 feet. If you fall into this whirlpool you will die. 9/10 because this seems like something that should only be in movies.

The Bolton Strid, England

This looks like an adorable little creek in the English countryside but it’s not. Its really not. Statistically speaking, this is the most deadly body of water in the world. It has a 100% mortality rate. There is no recorded case of anyone falling into this river and coming out alive. This is because, a little ways upstream, this isn’t a cute little creek. It’s the River Wharfe, a river approximately 30 feet wide. This river is forced through a tiny crack in the earth, essentially turning it on its side. Now, instead of being 30 feet wide and 6 feet deep, it’s 6 feet wide and 30 feet deep (estimated, because no one actually knows how deep the Strid is). The currents are deadly fast. The banks are extremely undercut and the river has created caves, tunnels and holes for things (like bodies) to get trapped in. The innocent appearance of the Strid makes this place a death trap, because people assume it’s only knee-deep and step in to never be seen again. I hate this river. I have nightmares about it. I will never go to England just because I don’t want to be in the same country as this people-swallowing stream. 10/10, I live in constant fear of this place.

Honorable mention: The Quarry, Pennsylvania

I don’t know if that’s it’s actual name. This lake gets an honorable mention not because it’s particularly deep or dangerous, but it’s where I almost drowned during a scuba diving accident.

beepost-generator

@plaguedocboi rates holes

moisemorancy-deactivated2022061

lobelee

cilceon

savage-flirtation-deactivated20

These two are amazing!

@x-heesy 💃🏻🕺🏻 Friday vibes!

vexwerewolf

I want whatever it is that these two have

shelnem

Context! This is called a Jack and Jill! It's a contest in a style called West Coast Swing.

Here's the thing... it's ALL improv. The whole thing. And those two? Randomly matched.

Dance is a sport where strangers fall madly in love for a few minutes. And I need more all the time.

pluckyyoungdonna

damn, what sorcery that she's doing that in BOOTS?

singerin

I’m sorry, wait stop. That was IMPROV???

Dance like this is a magic I just can’t fathom.

goatguy7399

Oh yeah the fun thing about being even a base level performance dancer is that you can actively see their communication the entire time! Some of it is more obvious than other but if this was choreographed they wouldn’t need to communicate hardly at all. Lemme break down a few spots!

The moment in the beginning when they started dancing helped them set the tone and energy for eachother so they knew what type of dancing to expect, and they proceeded to pull from that vibe the entire time.

Around the quarter mark when they’re spinning around, green shirt looks at purple shirt’s feet, watching to see if purple was going to move. Purple then takes that and begins to move backwards, into the hand switch (which would have been far more fluid choreographed) and as purple raises their arm, green does the dramatic lean back utilizing the visual element of her hair. Unclear if purple necessarily was the reason but they were definitely asking for some sort of flair and green definitely delivered.

An easier one to see was that the trust fall was not planned but you could see the Very Direct Communication from the purple to the green offering that opportunity. Green didn’t have to take it but when they saw the opportunity they then positioned themselves and timed it with the music so the drop in the music coincided with their torso hitting purple’s arms.

Also the little coordinated butt wiggle at the end when green let purple lead was hilarious loved that.

There’s more but I don’t feel like giving a play-by-play but maybe y’all can see more of it now that I’ve pointed out examples! Remember folks, dancing with others is about communication!

thinkingabout-girls

“but what if i’m being annoying :(“ everyone’s annoying dipshit it came free with fucking being alive and existing. now go talk to your friends

thegaymertrainer

If you come in you don’t have to come out

pinene

the way this is like baaaaarely parody

diane-nguyen-watches-cartoons-d

bringing in a second actor towards the end of the video to deliver a single devastating punchline is brilliant writing

phantomrose96

You know I gotta learn shitpost brevity. Most of my successful posts are like 3 paragraph essays, minimum. Fucking dissertations. Terrible note-to-word ratio. Inefficient. In this economy? In this economy? Unsustainable. Everyone else posting "blowing my balls up at the bomb factory" and getting 50,000 notes. Amazing ROI. They're the future and I'm on dial-up. The market's gonna out-compete me.

lemonlegs4

sayruq

bob-belcher

Happy International Women’s Day!

obsidian-hollow-archives

"homosexuality is unnatural! there's only two genders! it's a sin-"

I'm sorry, have you seen NATURE???

and there's so many more species than this that exhibit homosexuality, varying genders, etc. SO! MANY!

it's very much a natural thing. it always has been. unfortunately, while homosexuality is found in many species, homophobia is only found in one

ALSO THE ARTIST IS HUMON, FIND THEM AT HUMONCOMICS.COM!! was so sure I had included that but apparently I forgot, so sorry!

vimbry-moved

bank of england waiting to print the king charles money

onlytwitterpics

aqueerkettleofish

#i know people have started criticizing the#‘men are afraid of getting laughed at women are afraid of getting killed’#but this is real?

Oh, yes.

A few years ago I went to pick up a woman I met on OKCupid for a date, and a friend of hers was there. They kind of over-explained “Oh, she just showed up to say hi” and there was a vague nervousness in the air that even my autistic ass was picking up on. Her friend was playing conspicuously with her phone. I went “Ah, the safety. Need to get a picture?”

Dead silence for about a second and a half, then the friend took a picture, looked at my date, and said “Have fun” and walked out the door.

(I would ordinarily have been clueless, but I’d just been asked to be the safety the previous night.)

My advice to male-presenting folks: recognize that this not your problem. By which I mean, this sort of security check isn’t a problem for you. It doesn’t hurt you. You aren’t being insulted or disrespected. And if you treat it like what it is– a reasonable adaptation to an unreasonable situation– and just roll with it, your dates will be more comfortable, and you will have a better time as a result.

The same applies to phone calls mid-date. Let them answer the damn phone without drama.

They aren’t accusing you of being a dangerous person. The very fact that they are willing to go on a goddamn date with you means that they have extended a certain level of trust. But the fact remains that there isn’t really a way to distinguish between “a man who isn’t dangerous” and “a man who knows how to behave like he’s not dangerous.”