eeeyup

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[fuckblast]

It's been years and I still haven't found a single sentence on Wikipedia I like more than this one. and quickly learned how to breakdance. The simple statement. Action, result, reaction. White boy stuns latinos. Quickly. His white ass got there and said I need to have something to keep me from being All the White People, and I'm clearly not a boy of combative strength. Breakdancing bluelinked as the perfect little punctuation, reminding you that it is a rich art and sport, making you consider the sort of undertaking that would be. I like this sentence more than some Beck songs.

[ravenlynclemens]

Nancy comic

[quietwingsinthesky]

we’re so lucky that gilgamesh survived and is a banger. can you imagine if we found the oldest written human story ever recorded and it sucked balls.

[json-derulo]

Whenever they gave us one of those "read through ALL the instructions before you begin!" trick assignments in school where the steps lead you on an increasingly ridiculous goose chase until the final one tells you to just put your name on the paper and turn it in without doing anything else, I was always like, "Okay, but what's the point? Surely the REAL world won't be anything like this." And then I grew up and discovered that not only is the real world often exactly like that, some people won't even read the first line of the instructions even if they make perfect sense. And these people are called "co-workers"

[csny]

the bus is never going to come because im a bad person

[flightsofwonder]

being an adult is just saying to yourself “this is the weekend i’ll clean my [x]” and then proceeding to not do that because it’s the weekend and you deserve to relax, goddamnit

[flightsofwonder]

why does this have 85K notes

[randomslasher]

because we reblogged it instead of cleaning our [x]

[thesoftmoon]

guy in the elevator with us just announced that a river appeared in the desert somewhere for the first time in 2000 years, and the prophecy is complete. another dude (did not arrive with the first guy) nodded affirmatively and said everything is in its right place

[fidelcostco]

can't believe the only options are 30 minutes early or 10 minutes late. if only there were some other way. but what can you do

[mushroom-soup-is-my-religion]

[voldemo]

My friend really changed once she became a vegetarian 

[voldemo]

its like ive never seen herbivore

[ezekestiel]

i sighed so loud my mom asked me if i was okay and she’s two rooms away

[bowsersex]

Somebody in a Twitch stream chat was trying to insult a streamer by saying, "You're almost 40, and you've only gotten a tarot card reading once?" And I don't know, I'm still amused by this. I'm in my late 20s and I've also only had a tarot card reading once. One of those ones on the street you pay for. The guy doing my tarot card reading was like, "You're going to join the military," or something like that, and 15 year old me thought to myself, "Okay, well that's not true. So I guess I just got scammed," and then I just never got a tarot card reading since then.

[bowsersex]

Military recruiter who pretends to be a tarot card reader so he can tell every person who gets their future read by him and they'll be joining the military in the future.

[senatortedcruz]

This is what it’s all about. Saturday night. At home. Switching between the same 4 apps on my phone. Getting scared.

[prokopetz]

They say that sudden, intense cravings for very specific foods are usually a sign of a vitamin deficiency. If so, that I'm presently making myself french toast, scrambled eggs, and a bacon and cheese sandwich at 11:45 PM must mean the vitamin I'm missing is grease.

[prokopetz]

I cross-posted this to Bluesky and got followed by a bunch of folks with blog headers clarifying which exact flavour of Christianity they adhere to because they thought I was making a hashtag-relatable post about cheating on your diet. Now we get find out how many of them are also comfortable with posts about werewolf cock.

[icedteadrinker]

Limmy deleted best tweet of all time I'm so mad

[inkskinned]

having physical anxiety even when you're actually having a good mental health day is so fucking stupid. mentally i'm like "i'm so grateful for my life and the beauty of this incredible world." however i drank about .002 too many dropulets of coffee so my body is currently home to 23 species of ants as well as 56 different adverbs. like sure i'm out here doing my little gay nature walk and my journaling and my grounding techniques and yet the entire time my skin has been attempting to become a rocketship and it has decided it must do this via stomach-based forbidden torture techniques

[lakevida]

im going to drink a $7 light beer at the zoo and become the jane goodall of leafcutter ants

[pixiecaps]

big fan of whatever the youth is doing to torment scientology buildings

[pixiecaps]

they couldnt take the heat

[doctordotdj]

[lackystur-deactivated20220909]

Im a fempath it’s like empath but i only care about women