conversations overheard through the batkid com lines pt 41 (masterpost here)
*fighting noises, grunts and the shwing of metal*
Tim: so me and Robin cleared out our section; want us to head over to you two?
Dick: *harsh impact* *slight chuckle* uh, i don't think this'll take us too long, you guys are good to wait.
Bruce: they're not overly prepared for an attack, that's for sure.
Dick: man, you know you're shit when Batman starts taking the mick mid-fight, *gunshot* oi-!
Damian: so we're just waiting?
Dick: yeah, take a break, Triple-R!
Damian, mumbling: stupid fucking nickname.
Bruce, tired: just because it aligns with an insult doesn't mean you can disregard the no-name rule with Nightwing.
Dick: B, sniper on the balcony- *gunshot* ok never mind he's a shit shot you're good.
Damian: Red, we can do the thing.
Tim: oh- holy fuck you're right,
Damian: you- *already sounding amused* you first.
Tim: ok well don't laugh yet, i haven't even... *trails off*
Dick, slightly breathless: wait, what are you two doing?
Tim: shut up, we're playing a game. you said take a break.
*thud* *hiss of sympathy*
Bruce: boys, please, we can't keep playing games on patrol-,
Bruce: i will not- i'm not going to cry??? just-
Dick: 'sounds close to tears. what are you playing?
Bruce, hissing: Nightwing,
Tim: ok, i'm ready. turn around.
Damian, sounding slightly confused: *garbled, muffled by water* mf 'us a 'ox. wh- *abrupt choke*
Tim: yeah so this is- *snicker* this is my whole thing, this is what i uh, brought...
Damian: *sharp nose exhale*
Tim: he doesn't know i have it.
Damian: *water splatter* *cough*
Damian: *coughing* i did- not laugh, there's a difference.
Tim, incredulous: i HEARD you!
Damian: no no, i spat out my water. there's nothing against that in the rules.
Tim: that's the whole point,
Damian: i didn't laugh, i coughed.
Tim: oh- *indignant* bullshit, you laughed you liar.
Dick: the hell are you two doing? Red??
Tim: it's just a stupid game we thought might be fun where we both sneak the most obscure items we can onto patrol. if you laugh you lose, which you did-
Damian: i'm not gonna laugh at the kettle Pennyworth got imported from London, Drake. don't be a sore loser.
Dick: you brought- how the fuck did you keep that hidden?
Tim: shut up Damian. just do yours, you won't beat me.
Damian, apathetic: uh-huh. drink then, coward.
Dick: well now i kinda wanna know what Robin has...
Bruce, teeth gritted: Nightwing, please focus.
Tim: *instant water spitting* *choking*
Damian: you fucking- you spat on me you ass,
Tim: *high-pitched* what the- WHAT THE FUCK- *delirious shocked laughter*
Damian: fucking- 'm all wet now,
Tim: *still laughing* holy mother of hell,
Tim: I'M GOING TO- *incredulous* ROBIN!?
Damian: yeah... um. but then i also didn't want to play favourites, so...
Tim: OH MY- *instant wheeze*
Dick: ok seriously what is going on over there? Red sounds like he's going through anaphylactic shock.
Tim: *audibly struggling to breath*
Damian, calmly: no it's fine.
Tim, through tears: how did you- how did you even decide this was an option...?!
*distant thomp of boots on concrete*
Jason, distant, through Tim and Damian's coms: hey kiddies, am i late to the party?
Jason, voice dropping three octaves: ok what the fuck is that.
Tim, panting: read the- *wheeze* read the engraving,
Jason: DAMIAN. DAMI- HOLY- *chokes* oh my- WHY DID YOU-
Jason, clearer: Bruce come get your son, Bruce come- *wheezes* *through cackles* COME AND GET YOUR SON,
Bruce: ok what on earth is going on up there?
Jason: he's got- *high pitched, delirious* i don't understand- Damian why?
Tim, also crying from laughter: we were playing a game,
Jason: WHAT FUCKING GAME-
Bruce: RED HOOD. I NEED DETAILS.
Jason: he's got- oh my fuck- he's got your parents.
*silence, apart from Jason and Tim's breathy cackles*
Dick: wait what-? i don't understand.
Jason: the ashes- he's got the- he brought Thomas and Martha's ashes on patrol.
Jason: *cackles* oh fuck- oh fuck my side hurts,
Tim: *sniffs* i think i cracked a rib.
Bruce: Robin. what are they talking about?
Damian, sombre: i'm sorry father. i thought the family reunion might boost morale.
Tim, amidst desperate attempts at breath control: what were you gonna do if you dropped one?
Damian: i mean, ash is not hard to come by. i doubt father would notice.
Bruce: ROBIN LEAVE THEM ALONE, YOU ARE TAKING THEM BACK TO THE MANOR THIS INSTANT.
Damian: hold- hold on father, i hear the ashes whispering to me.
Damian: they want to know why you dropped out of medical school.
Tim and Jason: *loose their collective shit*
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