Kiwifruits, beetroot, buzzy bees, moggy cats

Anything I find interesting in between or during my bouts of writing fanfiction like a spastic goose. Also references for rps. Enjoy.

[deathtofun]

I told a guy his total was 13.21 and he said “wish it were that year, could actually get some good music on the radio”

[regularlesbian]

breaking news from the AP, our boys on the front have just sacked constantinople. take that, heretics. coming up next are the soothing lute dirges of bing crosby

[persefoni-art]

Celegorm

[greelin]

this is going to have me on my hands and knees dry heaving

[greelin]

what the FUCK man.

[quasi-normalcy]

You know how some people talk about timeless themes in literature and you kind of low-key think they're full of shit? Sometimes they're not.

[emilyscartoons]

[bob-artist]

Bittern at the grocery store

[sparkly-heretic]

A very elegant crime.

(edit: my partner just pointed out that maybe the bittern is going to pay, and that's a good point)

[bob-artist]

Don't worry, his disguise was flawless and he got away with his snack :)

[sosuperawesome]

Beaded Berries // Levchuk Art

[binturong-of-the-day]

The binturong of melancholy

[veliseraptor]

[urloth]

“Light of the stars” this and “radiance of the trees” that …. I see you Tolkien, I see you and your oshinoko elves

[gallusrostromegalus]

Let’s Have Another Bullet Point Story, Courtesy of a Friend

So I have a friend that used to be in the tumblers troupe at the renfaire as a contortionist

We were chatting online and she told me to tell you all this story.

I love Kat dearly

but she forgets that she’s stupid strong and hypermobile

so one day she throws her back out

bad enough that she needed painkillers and couldn’t stand upright

“But also I needed Tampons and like.  A Burrito, real bad.”

she’s flat on her back in her apartment when she decides this

and, in an

impeccable

leap of reasoning, decides

“I can’t roll my back forward to sit/stand up like normal.

But I can ARCH my back just fine.

SO 

I’m going to do that and get on my hands and feet in a stomach-in-the-air this-shit-belongs-in-a-horror-movie-type pose,

And amble on down to the 7-11”

“And get me that Burrito”

It is, 

for context, 

after midnight in July during a wildfire so it’s hot as satan’s own asshole and the moon is red and shit’s already generally cursed.

Imagineyou are some poor sap working nights at the world’s deadest 7-11, and you hear the door jangle but you don’t see anyone’s head over the counters.

Whatever.

Except you keep hearing noises like there’s someone in the next aisle over.  

Fucking around in the burrito section

It’s also worth mentioning that Kat

1. sings whatever earworm is currently running through her head when she’s not paying attention

2. sounds EXACTLY like some kind of creepy child from a horror movie when doing so

tonight’s song is something from veggietales.

DUDE ACTUALLY STANDS HIS GROUND

and/or is really fucking high and isn’t sure if he’s tripping balls or notanyway

Kat goes up to pay for her burrito and tampons

She realizes the counter presents something of a challenge, and then demonstrates for me on her kitchen table at 4AM during a different july wildfire, 

exactly 

how she used the shelves to climb up the counter 

like one of the boston robotics beasties

dude stares at her for like, five minutes and says.

“Register’s broke.”

“Oh No!” Says Kat. “Just Take ‘em.” “Really?  I can leave cash-you don’t have to give me change I don’t want you to get in trouble with your manager.” “…Nah.” “Oh!  OK!  Thank you!” “Yeah ok bye.”

Shortly after she arrived back at the apartment, she got a text on her phone from the campus security about  "A Suspicious Individual” at tle 7-11. 

It took her 

FOUR

FUCKING 

YEARS

 to realize she was the suspicious individual

[ethanrayne]

every time this crosses my dash, all i can think is “i’d love to hear this from the perspective of the cashier who encountered some sort of demon buying a burrito on the night shift”

[cracksandcraters]

@danphanto

[urloth]

Returning to school at *elder millennial mumble* compared to being the same age as my peers is a trip. My group project began with my group peers getting out their phones and LOUDLY asking their version of an ai for the answer to the multi week assignment we are meant to do together.

[yesterdaysprint]

The Indianapolis Star, Indiana, July 26, 1925

[xenon-starz]

happy 99th birthday to this amazing shitpost

[superchlorine]

happy 100th birthday to this amazing shitpost

[yourlocalredbicycle]

this is the best thing to see on my birthday honestly

[kairithemang0]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DUDE

[mysticalcoffeequeen]

When you thought it would be easy peasy lemon squeezy but it turns out to be difficult difficult lemon difficult.

[switchnx]

Wait that’s actually really good, gonna pop this out of the tags

[itsreallystupid]

[teaboot]

[strawberrycatcrowbar]

[suspected-spinozist]

Míriel and Rúmil - for syrisa (to whom I promised this months and months ago, sorry)

The city that would be Tirion grew around the artisan’s quarter – small surprise. They were Tatyar, still, before they built their new home in the Calacirya, and they dug forges and laid reed cloth to cover their crafting benches before quarrying the first pale stones. There was no cold, no dark to guard against (though the priests grumbled at the lack of stars), and an eternity to plan.  Amulets carved of strange new woods lay in heaps in the marketplace, polished gems, tools and garlands of living flowers and bolts of bright cloth.

But the first trade to arise in that new city was in masks.

Keep reading

[urloth]

“Light of the stars” this and “radiance of the trees” that …. I see you Tolkien, I see you and your oshinoko elves

[miseducatedmelanicmuse]

Like a new friend!

[diasdelfuego]

our spiritually elevated rejection of canon vs their intellectually dishonest refusal to engage with the text

[wetheurban]

Sending love to everyone who is just... tired. Life is a lot, and sometimes the answer to it all is to just be still and silent for a while. Give yourself space and grace. Whether it’s decision fatigue, anxiety fatigue, information fatigue, routine fatigue, getting life back together fatigue, career fatigue, social fatigue, financial fatigue, or physical fatigue—take a moment to breathe and recharge. You deserve it.