okay we really need to talk about it
I guess every person who believes in bi!Dean has ever thought ābut why has this silly guy never come out? Heās obviously flustered by men but he never really triesā.
Thereās the cut scene from 14x14, āOuroborosā, where Dean says John used him as a bait for evil truckers.
And if we think more than a second, we can see young Dean with his big green eyes and plump lips, playing innocence and taking dirty hints to distract the monster.
Dean knocks on the door, smiles, flirts, winks and finally gets inside.
John is getting ready. Dean is still in the truck cabin with a lustful monster.
How far is he going? Hardly think John cares. Heās waiting for the perfect moment, while Dean is being touched or maybe even kissed, because Dean is a good soldier. And good soldiers donāt ruin the Hunt.
It wasnāt one time or two.
āDad made me do it all the timeā.
Dean was being touched by men against his will constantly, so over time he just couldnāt perceive gay people as he used to do.
We all talk about John being homophobic, but what if it wasnāt the reason?
What if Dean just couldnāt imagine himself with a man and not see all these truck drivers instead?
What if thatās why he never flirts with men in early seasons.
He still remembers too well. He still sees not enough positive examples.
What if thatās why a little later even drunk he could only flirt, but not sleep with men. Because sleep means lust. And menās lust is disgusting and dangerous.
What if only years later he watches āBrokeback mountainā for the first time, witnesses Jack Twistās love and yearning and pain and thinks āwow. that was pure. that was realā.
What if the process we can see through all the seasons is not a getting rid of the internalized homophobia, but a healing?
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