all fanfiction is funnier and sexier and vastly better-written when you read it at three in the morning, in the dark, lying on your side, tucked into bed, with screen rotate turned off. that’s just how it works. that’s just facts.

ellievsbear
NASA

Love Begins
Sade Olutola
todays bird
One Nice Bug Per Day

tannertan36
No title available
Peter Solarz

JVL

#extradirty
will byers stan first human second
styofa doing anything

★

shark vs the universe

⁂
Misplaced Lens Cap
🪼
wallacepolsom
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

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@vaccinatedcujo
all fanfiction is funnier and sexier and vastly better-written when you read it at three in the morning, in the dark, lying on your side, tucked into bed, with screen rotate turned off. that’s just how it works. that’s just facts.
my straight best friend doesn't believe going to a museum is a romantic date so now I feel obligated to take him by his hand and wander through the exhibits and openly kiss him on the mouth in front of every painting until he changes his mind and falls in love with art and maybe me
posting on a blackboard discussion board and replying to two of your fellow students has to be one of the nine circles of hell
I feel that those blood pressure numbers may not be accurate....
Lmao
Maybe
the accuracy, music choice, smoothly transitioned comedic timing, facial expressions.. this is Oscar-worthy
Executive dysfunction in a nutshell
this was that tiktok i saw btw lol
thinkin about a baby of my acquaintance & how when her parents are hanging out & chatting, she'll almost fully participate in the conversation--politely watching who's talking, saying something approx the same length & tone of what her parents are saying, occasionally using a questioning cadence & looking at someone specific for an answer, laughing when they laugh--doing everything except actually using any recognizable language
this baby also once tipped me a granola bar at work. she'd been watching everyone in line very closely & when it was her parent's turn, at exactly the right point in the transaction for a tip, she pickpocketed her mom's granola bar & shoved it in the tip har
Wanna hear a shitty movie idea?
It’s a crime/comedy movie about two rivaling crime robbing syndicates trying to beat each other to the same deals. Pretty generic, right?
The twist is that they don’t really know anyone on the other side of the war and one day, the top agents go to steal the prize jewel, run into each other and end in a fight that results in their masks being taken off.
Turns out, the two groups are clones of each other and all the main ones are played by actors that are always confused because they look so similar.
Tom Hardy and Logan Marshal Green
Jeffery Dean Morgan and Javier Bardem
Amy Adams and Isla Fisher
Keira Knightly and Natalie Portman
The teams even have their own janitors/voice of reason!
Rupert Grint and Ed Sheeran
And, of course, the leader of both gangs and eventual main villain are Elijah Woods and Daniel Radcliffe.
Rip to people with face blindness
That’s an easy problem to fix: each team is color-coordinated so the audience can tell them apart.
everyday i wake up its another remake another live action another revival another reunion another one and another and another just more and more and more and more
i posted this yesterday before i knew there was a fucking willy wonka prequel being made. see you all in therapy
Always keep your opponent guessing
unpresent it please
mary shelley: pours her heart and soul into the creature's ability to eloquently express his deepest and most painful feelings to frankenstein through literal pages and pages of speech
modern media: makes the creature unable to utter anything but grunts and scary sounds
Actually im pretty sure he only knew french so thats true to the source material
Le wig
broke: picking one specific time period for an adaptation of arthurian legend that inevitably results in certain parts of the legend making no sense
woke: an adaptation where the characters regularly acknowledge that there is no set time period
King Arthur: what a lovely picture, Guinevere! I wasn’t aware that style of painting had been invented yet!
Guinevere, pleasantly: oh, it hasn’t!
this is really just my favorite tiktok
there’s so many things going on here that we can’t talk about right now
how dare you hide this in the notes
MDZS/The Untamed is a cautionary tale about what could happen in the long run if you are repeatedly rude to customer service people.