Vanyelle

Professional kitchen Hobbit. Who let me be an adult?

[venndaai]

have you guys heard about the greenland shark. some crazy shit happening there.

[venndaai]

they are sexually mature at ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY YEARS OLD.

their (live!) young gestate for. wait for it. eight to eighteen (??) YEARS. can have up to 10 at a time. good grief.

longest lifespan of any vertebrate, up to five hundred years

toxic flesh

has giant eyes but is usually blind because of a weird little crustacean that's evolved to live on and eat their eyes. this doesn't seem to bother them much.

lives in deep cold water and has the lowest swim speed and tail-beat frequency for its size across all fish species. just generally lives life in extreme slow motion

largest genome of any shark

eats everything including moose and polar bears

ma'am you are delightfully strange and I'm privileged to share a planet with you

[fluorescentbrains]

this post prompted me to refresh my memory on Greenland Shark Facts and this detail about how they feed goes so hard

just vacuuming up their unsuspecting prey. whole !

[muffinlance]

Good news good news good news! Recent research suggests the eye parasites do NOT blind them!

Eye-opening research: Greenland sharks maintain vision for centuries through DNA repair mechanism

Dorota Skowronska-Krawczyk sits in her office, eyes fixed on the computer monitor in front of her. "You see it move its eye," says the UC Ir

I <3 you a normal amount Greenland sharks

[horsefriend]

[putnamspuppeteer]

For those who don't know: Ikumi Nakamura is the woman who was senior artist on Bayonetta, and designed the titular character along with Hideki Kamiya. Their greatest moment of bonding was over their insistence that Bayonetta keep her glasses on at all times. Nakamura cannot go to horny jail. She is the warden.

[brookietf]

[catgirlforeskin]

Happy pride month to her and her exclusively

[seraphiminn]

she made a comic about the experience on twitter

[catboybiologist]

happy pride

[ikindamaybewanthertositonmyface]

An Update from back in October I'm surprised wasn't added to this post. lol

[raccoonmilf]

When I was in grade school I used to send emails to biologists and zoologists asking them questions to get answers to include in school projects I was working on, and would cry when they did not respond because I thought I was stupid for thinking that some random kid would ever be deserving of a response from someone who does something as smart and cool and important as *checks notes* studies frog fungus.

Now, at 29, I’m lowkey having a panic attack because my academic email is filled with middle schoolers wanting me to answer their questions about pygmy raccoons and I keep putting off answering them because I’m so overwhelmed with all the other raccoon stuff I have to do.

Anyway, greatest apologies to any scientist I ever emailed as a child and also an adult.

[raccoonmilf]

I know your research is really important and I appreciate all you are doing but this is so fucking funny

[vanyelle]

"The deviled egg on the windowsill. I don't know how long it's been there, but you should eat it."

"Dude, think about it. Why would there be a deviled egg on the windowsill if you weren't supposed to eat it."

"Every second you wait, it gets worse. The safest thing is to eat it now, fast and hard."

I cannot eat deviled eggs without pretending I'm Zac Oyama now. Thank you, Make Some Noise and @samreich .

[keterkid]

People who are younger than you but taller

[gondor-calls-for-aid]

People who are younger than you but better than you at something

[emeraldembers]

People who are younger than you

[discipleofpuck]

People

[gentlepanpirate]

Being turned into a llama

[stabilizedinsanity]

A LLAMA?! HE’S SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD!!!

[nemusou-blog]

yeah… weird

[necrowyrm]

Casting a spell on you that makes you happy, by the way. Your day tomorrow will be pretty good. Something nice will happen, maybe.

[boghermit]

Happy May the Fourth to this tweet specifically

[insomniac-arrest]

Mob Psycho 100 understands what I want in a fighting show. I don’t want to worry about if the character will survive (he’s fine bro, he’s a super-powered middle schooler), I want to worry about if he’ll reach emotional fulfillment or healthy communication with strangers. 

And also throw shit around with his mind.

[insomniac-arrest]

The stakes: the whole universe is going to explode and die!!

Me: 😒😒😒

The stakes: We may hurt this middle-aged man’s feelings if he is exposed as a fraud (MP100 narrator voice: and he is actually a fraud)

Me: omg no 🥺

[insomniac-arrest]

So, uh, this is also how I found out that Reigen is actually the same age as me. I think I may have just committed some form of ageism against myself.

[insomniac-arrest]

the narrative: Reigen is a LOSER with no friends, he LIES about everything, avoids his MOMS phone calls, has a made-up job and NO money. And he’s GAY.

me: YOUR HONOR THAT’S JUST WHAT IT’S LIKE TO BE 27.

[hungwy]

theo van gogh was the one who suggested that his older brother vincent start seriously painting. as soon as theo was gainfully employed he gave vincent around 15% of his own yearly salary for art supplies, lodging, and food. about 2/3rds of vincent's surviving letters were to theo (including vincent's earliest and last letters), all of which were found stored in theo's desk. theo's child, vincent willem, was born on january 31st, 1890, and vincent was so delighted by his nephew that he painted almond blossoms for him. vincent shot himself half a year later on july 29th, 1890. theo's distress at his brother's death worsened his syphilis symptoms and he died half a year after his brother on january 25th, 1891 (four days before vincent willem's first birthday). theo was reburied next to vincent in auvers-sur-oise at the request of theo's wife johanna.

[nutropes]

Almond Blossoms, 1890, Vincent van Gogh

[emilyofjane]

[cannucks-addiction]

And that love lived on Theo's wife, Johanna, who was the one who pushed for the preservation of Vincent's paintings. Johanna who made sure that her husband's beloved brother would not be forgotten. Johanna who fought tooth and nail so that Theo and Vincent would never be forgotten. Johanna who carried the family legacy, who made sure that the works of Vincent would be kept in her possession. And then Vincent Willem, named for a uncle so loved, carried this legacy and founded the Van Gogh museum in Amsterdam.

The van Gogh family history is deeply interwoven with love. It was the love of a brother that gave a young man the courage to paint and the resources to do so. It was the love of a woman for her husband and her husband's beloved brother that made that story known. And it was the love of a nephew, who was so deeply loved even if for such a short time, that made it possible for the world to know Vincent van Gogh.

[hug-your-face]

via @swatercolor [insta]

[hug-your-face]

This is the best tag I've ever received on a post, I think

[memewhore]

[violet-periwinkle]

GUYS GUYS GUYS

THEY RELEASED THE COYOTE VS ACME TRAILER !!!!!

WE WON !!!

[memecucker]

Apparently one type of deer hunting practiced in the Middle Ages was using “stalking horses” which involves crouching behind horse in a forest and slowly guiding it towards a deer that’s been tracked because deer are not frightened by the sight of other tall quadrupeds and I like how “horses as a form of camouflage” is belongs to the list of uses for domestic horses

[elodieunderglass]

Thank you @chiropteracupola ! “Stalking horse” is still a phrase and one whose meaning is easy to remember, I think

[weterpete]

Um no I'm pretty sure those are both switches

[prettyaveragewhiteshark]

[bob-belcher]

Miss Congeniality (2000) dir. Donald Petrie

[dankmemeuniversity]

I’m

[froginakettle]

The youth are lost

[duncte123]

Not in a million years would I have ever thought of this

[a-sucker-for-a-sucker-offical]

This is art

[vanyelle]

Been reading the Terror and I just got to the part where a bunch of British men throwing a Carnivale celebration and singing praises of their colonizing history were just ripped apart by a creature seemingly manifest of the arctic land that they cannot conquer.

So yeah it's a pretty good book imo.