FlipFlops

just messing around

[verycolourfulflipflops]

buying groceries is punk rock

[prettycottonmouthlamia]

"The middle class is not our enemy" yeah and the people you need to be convincing of that is the fucking middle class.

[prettycottonmouthlamia]

Sorry I fucking hate these condescending ass posts. How dare the poor get uppity at people. Meanwhile half of the middle class is voting to eradicate homeless people off the streets.

[prettycottonmouthlamia]

They're okaying means testing because of racism and are fine with anti-homeless architecture because homeless people are dirty and scary and want candidates who are "tough on crime" I really do mean it. The people you need to convince of that are the middle class.

[sailorfggot-deactivated20260514]

Tumblr: oh you posted clavicle? I’m so sorry diva that’s against TOS and flagged as mature explicit content

Tumblr: here’s an ai porn ad

[wuntrum]

happy sparkle on its wednesday monday

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

no more historic events this decade that is ENOUGH, i’m putting my foot down

[alettertofutureme]

History is not done with us yet my friend

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

I have received all manner of threat, up to and beyond “I will play a flute carved from your femur,” and yet this is the first time I’ve felt truly threatened

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

i knew posting this in 2022 was risky but holy fucking shit

[perfect-jerry-blossom]

i genuinely can't fucking deal with the larger internet anymore holy shit what the fuck are you people TALKING about. i am at my limit with this stupid bullshit. who the fuck cares if a man is hired to draw medical diagrams for young girls jesus christ we're pearl clutching about medical illustrations now? next you're gonna tell me male pediatricians shouldn't advise parents on their kids' vulva issues? male surgeons shouldn't be in the room when performing a procedure where a woman's breasts or vulva might be exposed? male researchers shouldn't conduct gynecological medical research? sure. better for men to live in ignorance and NEVER ally themselves with us to expand access to sexual education and reproductive healthcare i fucking guess. Twenty thousand likes. i hate it here KILL ME

[dragongirlsweetie]

pro tip you can just grab a bunch of random parts from dumpsters and hardware stores and computer stores and just attach them together haphazardly and then put it in your suitcase and take it to the airport and get arrested pretty much 100% of the time

[fruitorchardsystem]

Every time someone says the word system my brain creates this image

[the-haiku-bot]

Every time someone

says the word system my brain

creates this image

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[wizardpostsdotorg]

so funny how the older u get ur like how the fuck on gods green earth did people used to manage all th- ahhh.. i need one of these wives everybody keeps talking about..

[wizardpostsdotorg]

"how was X so successful and productive and achieving?" wife feeding and clothing and cleaning and shopping and parenting for them and also probably booking appointments and personal receptionist work. AND stimulant abuse. and shes supposed to suck you off whenever. id kill him too #feminists

[symdog]

"no you can't control the computer because uh that would be user unfriendly" <- shit they expect us to believe

[acekoral]

"The user doesn't know what they are doing, but luckily we are smart and can make all the decisions for them" <- voice of an operating system that kills its own firewall for no reason and doesn't tell anyone for months until you ask it where the firewall is

[proartspb]

[bisthefairy]

Stealing prev tags uwu

[sourcreammachine]

^mental gymnastics of the forcefield denier

[estrogenesis-eeveeangelion]

well maybe you should blearily wake up at 5:08 in the pre-dawn light and find the sleeping soft tiny mammal body of your cat just inches from your head like a miracle too beautiful for speech, and you should rustle one hand out from your blankets to rub fingertip circles across the warm eggshell dome of her little velvet-wrapped skull and on the bristly patches just where the cups of her ears begin, and as she inclines her head into your fingers and purrs without ever opening her little eyes you should feel a love so tender that you understand how that love could have reached out from the fireside into the inky spangled nights long gone to reach her, and then you'll feel better

[estrogenesis-eeveeangelion]

i am at a complete loss as to how to adequately express to you how much this cat throws up yeah

[secretgarden]

[aubreyappears]

THE SENSATIONAL SNUFFLER

[urie]

the thing is like men and men really cant be friends because the sex part does always get in the way like thats true. and i mean that like im actually dead serious about that

[urie]

like have you ever seen two straight men attempt to be friends with each other but the gay sex they arent having is literally preventing them from the transformative healing power of friendship. this is real

[urie]

i dont even mean this in a "they want to fuck each other" way (although many of them do and will never know it) i mean that like the fact that gay sex is even hypothetically possible between them makes it loom over their friendship like it genuinely haunts them that they could be having it. gay sex is the elephant in the room every time they attempt to be emotionally vulnerable with one another, every time they let a hug linger too long. they cannot address its existence and so there is always something in their way, preventing true connection. and that something is the gay sex. that they are not having. the elephant of gay sex

[isawken]

going over to my minimalist girlfriend’s house and she apologizes profusely for the mess and there’s just a single perfect, fresh pea on the floor of her living room

[bluelois]

Blue Lois

[isawken]

can i help you

[redmarge]

Red Marge

[isawken]

jesus christ. I Am Under Fucking Attack

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[isawken]

i deserve a medal for this post. not because i was particularly funny but because i survived an onslaught of nearly one hundred gimmick blogs in the wake of this post popping off, and the fact that i didn’t try to track any of them down and snuff them out with my bare hands is a testament to my immeasurable strength and should be rewarded. at one point i had “the official letter h” add on to this post. you wanna know that blog’s gimmick? the really funny and original and worthwhile gimmick the official letter h blog had? yep you guessed it they just gave me the god damned letter H and then fucked off. only jesus knows the suffering i endured over that harsh winter, and he wept for me

[bunchashapes]