tgis is so fucking funny to me. they accidentally Rock Lee'd a retired racehorse
imagine youre a fat horse and your new neighbour is a personal trainer
$LAYYYTER
styofa doing anything
AnasAbdin

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JBB: An Artblog!
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
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@vexeris
tgis is so fucking funny to me. they accidentally Rock Lee'd a retired racehorse
imagine youre a fat horse and your new neighbour is a personal trainer
C4e4 cold open spoilers(?), no context.
Some lifeline rough doodles! Here is how Taylor and T2 look like in my imagination.💭
I’m so happy Taylor is back!! 🥹
You can always tell when a highly educated person wants to share their passion and they do it in the most bizarre and yet well thought of way possible
i feel both insulted and enlightened. i love it.
Various things that are called some variation of "pepper" in various languages:
"Pepper," seeds of the plant Piper nigrum, a.k.a. black pepper, used as a spice.
"Peppermint," a hybrid of watermint and spearmint.
The edible fruits of the plants of the genus Capsicum, known collectively as "peppers," which includes bell peppers, chili peppers, etc. (some European languages make a distinction between peppers and capsicums by using the word "paprika" for the latter. A word that is a direct cognate with pepper.)
Allspice, also known as "Jamaica pepper," "myrtle pepper," but also as "spice pepper" in Finnish and Swedish (I suppose as opposed to the kind of peppers that aren't used as spices?), the dried fruits of the plant Pimenta dioica. More closely related to myrtle, guava, and eucalyptus than pepper.
Horseradish, a plant of the family Brassicaceae, thus making it a relative of mustard, cabbage, and radish, known in some European languages as "pepper root."
Ginger snaps, biscuits flavored with ginger, known as "pepper cake" in many European languages.
"Sichuan peppers," the dried fruits of the genus Zanthoxylum. Related to neither black peppers nor capsicums, but part of the same family as citrus.
Undoubtedly forgetting at least some but anyway. Forgot why I was doing this.
This user's kitty cat, a domestic feline of the species Felis catus
Hey kid you want a job?
Great get online and go to a job board. Indeed, Linkedin whatever. Now you're gonna search for a role that's in your city, fits your qualifications, and doesn't seem like a bad time.
See that easy apply button? Don't hit it they just throw those in the trash. Now you're gonna want to go to the company's website and check their careers page.
Oh? That job doesn't exist anymore. Cool go back to the job board and find another one.
Great you found another job, you're on the company's career page and the job exists!! So you're going to need to make an account on the career page website. They're using Workday, the same site as the last job you applied for? Who cares? You need to make another account for THIS job's workday page.
Now you're going to upload your resume. That'll autopopulate about 15 boxes with everything on your resume, except formatted wrong and with tons of errors. So just go through and painstakingly check the dates on all of that and rewrite everything you already laid out in an aesthetically pleasing format on your resume.
Ok time for the cover letter, explain why this specific job and company are deeply important to you. You love their mission statement and wouldn't even laugh if their ceo was gunned down in the street. You'll really want to reiterate the things you just spent the last 20 minutes filling out on the resume section
(Remember to include language from the job description, people who work in HR are lower than dogs and they need patterns or they get confused.) Write about a page, but hey don't sound too desperate or robotic this is where they judge your character!
Maybe add your portfolio site at the end here, who knows if that helps no one has ever clicked mine haha.
Anywayyy time to hit apply! Congrats! You'll see that confirmation email come in and you should be getting the rejection letter in about 2 weeks. Unfortunately your resume didn't have the right buzzwords and the AI auto rejected you :(
Time to start again and try not to kill yourself!
Listen to me
Listen very closely
The above is exactly why half of my friends come to me, and cry they're suffering, and I get to bestow my job hunting knowledge on them. I love this shit, it's a game.
For credentials my fastest job hunting time has been 1 week. I searched for 1 week, got an interview, and was hired within a week. My slowest was 1 month, while out of work, while telling ALL my interviewers that I quit my work without notice (I was testing my interviewers to see how shocked they'd get when I'd tell them why, anyone who wasn't shocked I would tell them at the end that I will keep them in mind (not)). My entire average is 2-3 weeks.
Firstly, what you're gunna do is pick a job sector. You're gunna pick a few of these by the end, but for now pick one. Maybe you wanna do bookkeeping, maybe you wanna do something in doggy daycare. Maybe you're a sous chef. Idk! Figure out what abouts you want first. Do not apply to anything yet. You're gunna look at the job description, I've picked out a few for bookkeepers below.
Now what you're gunna do is you're gunna look for "buzz words", or rather words that are gunna appear commonly and indicate the tone for that job. I've highlighted some, but not all in my examples below
Just look at that snout at how similar those descriptions are!
Now that you've got your buzzwords, you're gunna slap those babies into your resume! You see, since your resume is usually read by a computer first, you're gunna trick the computer into giving it to a person. Really what the computer is scanning for is how similar your resume is to the job description. Remember your bullet points, and to keep it short, try to only have 3 to 5 bullet points per job:
- Processed over 500 invoices a day in an efficient and accurate manner
- Curated reports for management review by utilizing available data
- Monitored and recorded over 100 submissions each day increasing accuracy by 50%
These are some great, made up examples I pulled from those buzz words. You might notice I added some numbers into there. That's something you'll wanna try and note for yourself, how much of something you can do, how accurate, how much efficiency you increased, these look GREAT when your resume gets past the computer and is moved in front of a real person.
Now you have your sector-based resume with lots of buzzwords. This is great! Now for the easy part. You're gunna channel your inner "IDGAF" And you're gunna send that to every listing you like on indeed. Filter for "Apply on Indeed" and spam that shit. Sometimes you gotta answer a few extra questions, but if they give me more than 5 quick questions I trash the submission and move on.
Don't waste your time jumping through hoops, streamline it for yourself and use the same methods companies are using. Push MASSIVE amounts of average quality resumes out. The more opportunities taken = the greater the chance of success. For every opportunity taken you've now pitched a chance of success, for every resume you cannot submit because you're piddling around on their stupid website or answering 50 interview questions online, you send out a 0% chance of success.
So go, try this, and see how it works for you.
Some additional things to consider:
- Add random shit in your resume, I added my "Board Game Club" (BDSM group) into my resume for hobbies and discussed how I got my start using sparklines there
- Never underestimate the flair of a little Clipart fleur-de-lis or something on your resume. Never put colored Clipart, but a little floral or swirl design located somewhere nice makes it stand out
- if you don't have a degree that doesn't mean they won't pick you, twice now I've come to a job without a bachelors and being honest that I was only getting an associates before I think of my next steps
- Embellish, do not lie. Jargoning your job description to make it sound cool and professional is GREAT. Do not give me a resume saying you can use CNC machinery when you've only used a 3D printer. Just tell me you know how to program and manage a 3d printer and want to learn CNC machinery.
- Keep. Your. Resume. To. Two. Or. Less. Pages. You don't need EVERY job, only the relevant ones, if your interviewer asks about the gap, tell them what job you had during that time (or if you wanna lie say you were taking college courses and were on a break, you dont need a degree to say you took courses) and that you only wanted to showcase the most relevant ones
- I'm serious on that last one I'll eat your fucking resume
Belted Kingfisher I know you don’t care but you mean everything to me girl
For anyone who doesn’t know, the Belted Kingfisher is one of the only birds with sexual dimorphism where the species is named after the female bird’s plumage instead of the male’s. The female of the species sports that cool rust-colored belt while a male’s belly is plain.
This is a huge thing in birds where males get the vast majority of the attention since they often have more visually striking plumage. I personally think the female red-winged blackbird is the most commonly misidentified bird in North America because of this problem.
A side effect of this phenomenon is that a lot of the time bird art depicts only males, so I LOVE when I get to see belted kingfisher art and be like omg it’s her!!!
Artwork by Antonia Hedrick
new atheists deride religion as “primitive superstition” but when you hear their take on what religion is it’s clear they have the shallowest concept of it
Y'all are the ones with holy books about talking snakes and blood sacrifices, but go off I guess
see what i mean
I will start believing the day you introduce me personally to your god(s).
see what i mean
What exactly is there deeper to understand that y'all worship a genocidal maniac and that you only read one book???
see what i mean
Religion is useless. We will all die eventually and your phony gods cannot help you
see what i mean
‘Atheists’ stop retaining evangelical christian programming challenge level: Impossible
FFS
1. No one is trying to convert you, you elementry-level reading comprehension moron.
2. You’re the ones who have read only “one book”.
3. We’re not asking you to believe. Again, reading comprehension much?
4. There is nothing wrong with someone using a comfort mechanism to get through life. Some have religion, others have Dawkins.
5. Not every religion is evangelical Christianity.
6. You people are as bad, if not worse, than any Christian evangelical and that’s what we mean when we call you Christian Atheists. You may have left the church but haven’t dumped the attitude.
Without fail, the most antisemitic people I have ever met. Have been atheists (anti-theist types, specifically). And that’s fucking SAYING something.
There is, to me, as a Jew. ZERO difference between:
An evangelical Christian trying to convert me to “save my soul” because they think Judaism is primitive and sinful and I will go to hell and also the continued existence of my people don’t look good for their stupid “Christianity improved on Judaism so much and Jesus came and saved us so none of us need that primitive bullshit” agenda.
And
A culturally Christian anti-theist trying to convert me to “save me” from “harmful religion” because they think Judaism is primitive and evil and I’ll live my life in pain because of my faith and also the continued existence of my people don’t look good for their stupid “We’re too advanced for religion and besides Judaism is pointless and all religion is evil and the same if we all stopped being religious and just were Christian but Without What I Think of as Religion then we would all be happier” agenda.
If you really want to watch them lose their shit, tell them that under some definitions of religion, atheism is one.
some days you cannot help but pity some people
The reading comprehension and overall common sense on this website is piss poor.
how dare you say we piss on the poor
Had a minute at work to look it up, and I did find the title!
source
i love it when a fandom agrees on one particular portmanteau ship name and you can tell it’s because the alternatives are all atrocious. like i don’t know anything about glee but even i know that they only call it “klaine” because no one would be able to take it seriously if it was “blurt”
“i love the hunger games. everlark is my OTP” oh i see someone’s too good for “peeniss” huh
twitter is fucking incredible
executive dysfunction is literally like. ive had a random dollar on my floor for two weeks and i dont know when ill fit it in my schedule to pick it up. people dont realize this
picked up the doler👍
Inspirational