Yes that was a pun, not a typo. Multifandom blog Writer (AO3) All my content (gifs, edits, fics) are tagged with “#mine”. NSFW posts tagged with "#suggestive".
project hail mary is a fantastic movie that genuinely has me staring at the ceiling at like 2 am. god. its the concept of dying so others can live. what if the sacrificial lamb was there the whole time and taught the butcher how to build the slaughterhouse. what if the lamb was dragged there kicking and screaming and was told that it was dispensable because it had no one, not a family or a lover or even a dog and what if the lamb said that it just wanted to live. isnt that enough? isnt wanting to live enough? what if the lamb woke up alone and afraid but remembered enough about living and love to place his head on the chopping block anyway. and most importantly, what if the butcher wasnt a butcher but just the shepherd trying to save the rest of the flock
#i love the complexity behind it all. stratt did something terrible and grace's blood wouldve been on her hands#but it was for the greater good. the rest of the flock.
It's always "I love you" and never "Okay, I don't care that we're different. What I care about is you. I care about you. Okay? And I didn't say it. I should've said it. But I didn't. Because... well, 'cause I am an emotionally insecure source of your discomfot who is not good at expressing his feelings. Probably because I've been on my own my whole life. And it's not an excuse, it's just- it's why instead of telling you that you're the best thing that ever happened to me, I make jokes about your ears and I tell you that you try too hard. When, you know, the truth is, I just don't want you to get hurt because... because no one else in the world matters more to me than you do."
ye baiyi tagging along with zhou zizhu’s little family as if he has nothing better to do with his time. this old immortal just misses the presence of companions and human interactions 😭😭
Let’s state right now by saying that 90% of the reason I went was for Fred 😭 the other 10% was ATJ, Russel Crowe and it being a Marvel film to be honest.
I’m also still slightly ill as I’ve been battling a cold since late Sunday/early Monday so I probably shouldn’t have gone but I dosed myself with Sudafed and for the most part wasn’t congested during the film, plus I feel miles better today, so…yeah. Bear with me if I seem dumb or like I missed something 😭
Anyway… Spoilers below for Kraven the Hunter!
First, some general things:
The way the critics were going on, you’d think this film was completely unwatchable and that there’s zero redeeming features, which in my opinion is not true at all
Let me make it clear right now: is it the best movie I’ve ever seen? No. Is it the best Marvel film I’ve seen? Also no. Is it the best Sony Marvel film I’ve seen? Still not really. But it was watchable and I had a good time eating popcorn while watching it
I really could have done without the cinema going couple on the row behind me who kept going “it’s Kraven time” during the film and who laughed at weird moments but eh, they aren’t the worst people I’ve been stuck in a movie theatre with
AARON TAYLOR JOHNSON’S ABS 🥵
The best performances in this movie were definitely Aaron, Fred and Russell in my opinion (although young Sergei and Dmitri were also good)
Some of the line deliveries in this film were not always it 😭 I don’t know if it’s a post production ADR problem but Ariana DeBose had some really wooden line deliveries which baffles me because she’s an Oscar winner?!? Did she just not care?
Some of the special effects were also not it; I wasn’t expecting ATJ to fight a real lion or for a real bear to kill Nikolai but come on now-
Oh this film delivered on bloody and violent!
My only knowledge of Kraven before this film was from watching half of JackSepticEye’s Spider-Man 2 playthrough so I’m probably the worst person to ask about whether they did his story justice or not 😭
Okay, now the actual film:
I was half expecting David Harbour’s character from Black Widow to turn up in Russian prison 😭
(Speaking Russian) “Can I sit with you at lunch?” “No.” - ASDFGHJKL
Kraven really wasn’t kidding when he said he’d be gone in 3 days, he was in and out fast
Bear with me and I’m sorry if I sound stupid but is Kraven damage proof or are the Russian guards just shit shots? 😭
My mind blanked for a hot second when ATJ turned around shirtless at the beginning and his fucking 8 pack was on view 🥵
The film kind of weirdly started in present day, then spent 30ish minutes in flashbacks, then went back to present day which was an interesting choice
Baby Dmitri 🥹 I wanted to protect him so bad
Nikolai really just went “boys, your mother is dead. She took her own life, she was weak, she does not deserve funeral so we’re going hunting”?!?!
Calypso being there and being told by her granny about the tarot cards saying something bad was going to happen, and being given the potion was…very convenient. Like the grandma really was just there to dump some lore and plot devices I guess
FUCK PEOPLE WHO HUNT ANIMALS 😤 the ONLY reason it’s ever remotely okay to hunt animals is if you’re doing it for food/survival. If you’re doing it for trophies, for “legacy”, just for the horns etc., you can get fucked
I felt so sad when the hunters were making fun of Dmitri for being a bastard 😭 at the very least Nikolai said “it’s not boy’s fault for his father’s weakness”, he’s not a great father but at the very least he said that
^So does this mean that Dmitri’s mother is not Sergei’s mother? Because both boys are Nikolai’s sons? But did Sergei’s mother raise Dmitri too or…?
Sergei really just wanted to protect Dmitri and he got injured 😭 thing is, I don’t think the lion was going to hurt him until Nikolai fucking shot at it - before, it seemed like Sergei and the lion were having a moment, and it only got aggressive when it was shot at, so really it’s Nikolai’s fault entirely
Calypso being more interested in her grandma’s wack ass tarot cards and potion than in the giraffes on safari was by the most unbelievable part to me, like that girl really was so unbothered about the fucking animals in nature?!?
The lion carried Sergei’s lifeless body for MILES, saw Calypso standing there, put Sergei down and looked at her for a moment before wandering off, as if he was bringing him to her?!? 💀
I’m so confused, is it the potion that gave Kraven his abilities? The lion’s blood entering his?!? A mixture of both?!! They don’t really go into detail
Sergei: *lying in Ghanian hospital after being mauled by a lion and being medically dead for at least 3 minutes* // Nikolai: Get your ass up I’m taking you boys to London
Sergei’s mom wrote him a note before she offed herself telling him not to become his father so that’s…why he doesn’t want to be like his father I guess
Dmitri’s powers are shown by him doing spot on imitations of other people’s voices, like he opens his mouth and Russell Crowd’s voice came out, and Sergei is like “you’re getting way too good at that”
Nikolai killed the lion 😭 fuck that guy
I get that Sergei was upset about his dad being an asshole but why did he shut Dmitri out like that 😭 so rude of him
So because his dad is a dick, young Sergei decides he’s going to run away to Northern Russia or Serbia or wherever, abandoning his little brother who their father clearly doesn’t like very much… bro-
I wasn’t aware that Russia or Serbia or wherever he went had a particularly large buffalo population, can someone confirm?
How does his vision just zero in on things from absolute miles away while his eyes turn gold?!?
After young Sergei it switches back to present day and I do feel they could have done it a bit better? It just cuts to black then cuts to present day I think. There’s a scene before this young Sergei seems to be testing his new abilities by jumping over a chasm, running through the forest etc, they could have easily done a switch there in my opinion (if that makes sense)
I smiled so stupidly when Kraven got a voicemail that started with his father’s voice before Dmitri laughed because it was him messing about 😭 And immediately I love him-
Did Kraven eat a fish raw?!? 💀
I agree with Sergei/Kraven, we should 100% kill hunters who do it just for sport/not for survival
HE BIT A GUY’S FUCKING NOSE OFF I WAS GAGGED A BIT
I won’t lie, I was also gagged when he was going through the book of names, found the Andrei guy’s name, then immediately killed him before crossing off the name like it was nothing, I think that was pretty fucking good
So Calypso is a lawyer and Kraven somehow managed to track her down just from the tarot card she left in his pocket and the potion vial?!? I know that’s his whole thing, tracking and finding people, but HOW-
With all due respect to the actors, there was pretty much no chemistry between Kraven and Calypso so if they were meant to be love interests, I was not feeling it at all
Not me getting overexcited when I saw the Daily Bugle newspaper and website 😭
Aleksei (the Rhino) has a dog and I thought he was going to hurt the dog 😭 he just snapped at him but still-
“Like a Rhino, I take what I want” - BRO I AM SORRY BUT WHAT
DMITRI PLAYING PIANO AND SINGING SIGN OF THE TIMES BY HARRY STYLES?!?
For the record, whenever Dmitri “sings”, it is NOT Fred singing - they use studio recordings of the actual artists and Fred just lip syncs which is kind of a shame because I personally want to hear that man sing 😭
So Dmitri runs a nightclub where he plays piano and sings while impersonating actual singers which is…definitely an interesting use of his gift, to be honest
Nikolai says Dmitri does this for him and that just breaks my heart personally
“My son, he is like a Chameleon” - bro. Bro. BRO. This film has zero subtlety 💀
There’s something about Fred wearing rings and a gold chain, his chest hair on display, that just hits different 😋
Nikolai: I don’t trust anyone who doesn’t like Tony Bennett
If I had a nickel for every time Fred was in a movie released in 2024 hiding under a piece of furniture, I’d have two nickels which isn’t a lot but it’s weird that it happened in two different movies released a month apart 😭
Dmitri was really upset about his club being the site of a fucking shoot off (understandable), and Nikolai started saying what a coward he was and berating him, as if Dmitri didn’t impersonate Tony fucking Bennett for his father-
There’s a noise the Rhino guy let’s put when he hears that a load of his men were killed at the nightclub that made my entire screening (of which there were not many admittedly) burst out laughing - not in a good way, but in a “what the actual fuck” way because he sounded like a velociraptor or something?!? It was so fucking odd
Kraven scales the outside of the apartment building to get into Dmitri’s penthouse instead of just taking the lift like a normal person-
FRED IN THE SHOWER I REPEAT FRED IN THE SHOWER-
^Regrettably, we do not see him in the shower nor shirtless - for some reason Dmitri has a bathrobe on before he steps out of the shower 😭
IT’S DMITRI’S BIRTHDAY 🥳
“When it’s your birthday, we can go to a petting zoo or whatever it is you do to unwind” ASDFGHJKL I LOVE DMITRI SO MUCH
I literally burst out laughing when Sergei and Dmitri walked past a couple while going into the club and Sergei was like “oh nice perfume” to the woman, and she said “I’m not wearing perfume”, and he sniffed again then looked at the boyfriend who had wide eyes - for a moment I thought they were making a joke about the boyfriend wearing perfume but then Sergei was like “she had to find out eventually” and I realised “ohhh he cheated on her and has another woman’s perfume, got it”. Had us all laughing in the cinema though, so 10/10 for that scene
Dmitri got really hammered and I think that’s adorable of him personally, that Sergei had to put him to bed like that 😭
Dmitri saying he forgives Sergei for leaving and that he knows the only reason Sergei comes back for his birthday every year is because he feels guilty?!? 😭
Sergei decides to sleep barefoot in the park where it’s allegedly quieter for him (which is bullshit because anyone who’s been in London knows that even at night it’s a fucking nightmare of noise)
“I was going to hold it open for you” “No you weren’t” ASDFHHKL
Not him telling that random man he hunts people like are you even trying to be low-key about being a serial killer at this point 😭 (cool motive but still murder-)
So the Rhino’s men went to Dmitri’s apartment to find Sergei and trashed the place, and they took Dmitri instead?!? Like you’re telling me they managed to figure out he had been to Dmitri’s apartment but they didn’t see him lying in a public park sleeping on the floor?!? 💀
I just want to know why Sergei didn’t put any shoes on before going up to the apartment, he had that whole lift ride to do it-
You can tell that most of the film is set in London because when Kraven is running through the streets barefoot and climbing shit, no one moves out of the way or blinks an eye 💀
THEY CUT OFF DMITRI’S FINGER?!? 😭
Nikolai really believes his legacy and power is more important than Dmitri’s life, which is why he refuses to pay a ransom… fucking hate that man-
Not Dmitri sassing the guard by mimicking him 😂 he got smacked bad for it but still, love him
I am still so confused about the Foreigner and his powers like…? Is it when he takes his glasses off, it’s to do with the eyes or…?
The whole monastery thing is a blur for me because I was trying to clean my glasses at this point and so the screen was literally a blur 😭
That guy recording on his phone like “We killed the Hunter!” Only for Sergei to appear behind him and go “no you didn’t” 💀
If I’m getting this right, the Rhino’s whole deal is that he was upset by Nikolai on that hunting trip years ago (when the boys were kids) saying he was weak, so he allowed himself to be experimented on so he’d be stronger, and now he has rock hard skin but he’s also in pain which is why he has to keep medicine in his backpack that’s fed to him through a tube into his side?!? And when he takes the tube out he goes from looking normal to the greyscale rhino shit?!?
I’m sorry to be that thirsty bitch but Fred looks so good in the turtleneck 😌
^Me too, mate, me too
There’s a scene where Kraven meets Calpyso off some kind of aircraft when she arrives in Russia or Serbia or wherever, and I’m so sorry but the line delivery Ariana DeBose gave was REALLY wooden and their conversation was clearly ADR work.
When it shifted to the next scene of them walking through a forest, it was so fucking jarring and I can’t put my finger on why exactly that is
Kraven wrestling with the leopard only for it to run away and he’s like “…knew her as a cub. She’s a lot bigger then last time” “?!?
So is Kraven just able to communicate and be a friend to all animals or…?
The whole second half of the film is a blur to me quite frankly, Calypso has to go to Serbia or wherever to stay with Kraven because her informant was working with the Rhino’s men, all the baddies went to go kill Kraven… I don’t know, man, a lot happened and my congestion was kind of coming back by this point, so…yeah
Some random lore drop: Calypso is good at archery because she learnt at camp, I think?
THE GASP I LET OUT WHEN KRAVEN USED THE BEAR TRAP ON THAT GUY’S FACE, WHAT THE FUCK-
The Foreigner uses this poison dart thing that apparently causes the person to see their deepest fears and then kills them, which is why Sergei starts hallucinating fucking spiders in the middle of the woods
So Sergei’s mother was driven insane because…she was seeing spiders? And she’s afraid of spiders which she’s passed on to Sergei?
(Me too, Sergei, me too 🥲)
I shouldn’t be surprised that Calypso saved Sergei by shooting the Foreigner with a crossbow especially since ten minutes before they made a point of her holding a bow and going “I’m good at archery” 💀 also that she just so happened to have some more of the magical strength “this can cure any injury” potion on her person so she could save Kraven
I’m being 100% serious when I say that my reaction to seeing The Rhino in his full form was “what in the actual fucking greyscale?!?”
Kraven stabbing the Rhino in that little hole where his medicine tube should be was so nasty 😭 and he was still fighting after that?!?
Bearing in mind the Rhino’s skin is indestructible enough to withstand being shot, I’m honestly surprised that being trampled by a buffalo herd was enough to do the man in 😐
When Dmitri appeared with the gun I thought that the film was dropping a “Dmitri was in cahoots with the Rhino all along” twist but…no. He was just wanting to shoot the Rhino but his brother wouldn’t let him (would it even have done anything though given the Rhino seems bullet proof?)
WAIT IS THE RHINO FUCKING DEAD?!? I THOUGHT HE WAS A HUGE SPIDERMAN VILLAIN IM SO CONFUSED RIGHT NOW
This film had way too many bad guys for any of them to feel actually threatening: Nikolai (technically?), Rhino, Foreigner… they were all shoved in I guess
Nikolai was the one who leaked the video of his son being the Hunter who escaped prison etc like…? I thought Sergei was the favourite, bro, the fuck you doing-
HE REALLY TOOK THE BULLETS OUT HIS DAD’S GUN AND A BEAR KILLED NIKOLAI
Fred was so fucking hot in his last scene and a half, I’m sorry but I’m right, stop booing me-
The first two times we saw Fred lip sync in the earlier part of the film, it looked more believable that Dmitri was singing with someone else’s voice but maybe that’s because the camera didn’t linger too much…in this last scene though? Oh that was OBVIOUS lip syncing, again that could be an ADR/post production thing though?
Dmitri says that a doctor in New York did something to him…? Who? Is it Miles Warren or whatever the name Rhino mentioned earlier was?
Dmitri is pissed that Sergei killed their father, says Sergei is just like him, just “big game hunters searching for their next great trophy” and he’s…technically not really wrong?
BRO WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK-
So Sergei is trying to talk to Dmitri as he walks away across this busy London Bridge (I think it’s the Millennium Bridge?) and when Dmitri turns around he’s got Sergei’s face and speaks in Sergei’s voice…?? And then he walks away and his face goes all white and porcelain and blank before going back to being Fred?!?
SERGEI WAS GAGGED AND SO WAS I 😭
Fred looked hot as fuck though so I’m not going to complain
The film ends with Kraven going back to his dad’s London house, reading a note from his father and a vest made from the skin/fur of the lion he killed years ago, and Sergei puts it on before sitting in a chair in front of a mirror…and then the film just fucking ends?!?
There’s really no mid credits or post credits scene 😶
FRED HECHINGER THE MOVIE STAR YOU ARE
Final thoughts:
Honestly the film was okay. Not great but it was watchable and not the worst film I’ve seen (that honour is currently held by “Sausage Party”). “Mid” is a good word to be honest.
Listen I know I’m biased but I do truly think Fred was a highlight of this film 😭 the fact that Sony has already said they’re giving up on the SM villain universe thing they’ve had going on makes me sad because we probably won’t see more of Fred as Dmitri but given the reception some of the films have had… yeah.
I feel like this could have been a great movie if the editing and post production had been done better. And some of the lines, obviously, because there were some REALLY cringey lines in this film that not even the greatest of actors could save (I’m pretty sure a few of them were definitely the Rhino)
It makes me sad that you can tell ATJ was genuinely passionate about this character and doing him justice, but the material he was given let him down I think - again, that could be a mixture of editing and writing
Hearing F bombs dropped in a Marvel film just seems so strange to me 😭
Honestly, I think I’m probably giving this a 5.5/10, maybe 6/10 if I want to be generous. It was watchable and fun to watch while eating popcorn, which can be nice sometimes.
