y'know what a big pet peeve of mine is?
the phrase "this isn't for you" appended to "pro-/endos dni" on posts about trauma. usually trauma recovery. not necessarily about CDDs (though i'll get into why that's ALSO fucked up in a bit), but just about trauma in general.
i am a big believer in curating your space. i curate mine; i don't like how aggressive syscourse tends to be, so i don't engage in it. i don't really care what "side" they're on, what matters to me is how they treat others. it is okay for you to set boundaries surrounding your interactions with others, including those you don't want to interact with. i'm not saying you shouldn't do what you need to do to feel comfortable in your space.
but why not leave it at "dni" (this is also about the "fuck off" tag but that's a whole different conversation)? why append "this isn't for you"?
that implies that whatever kind words you said in that post, whatever encouragement you wanted to give, whatever "positive" thing you were trying to do, isn't deserved by the people you don't like.
even if someone who identifies as endogenic is a trauma survivor, "this post isn't for you".
even if they're person with a CDD who happens to "believe in" and/or support people who identify as endogenic, "this post isn't for you".
if you are "wrong" in someone's eyes, "this post isn't for you".
honestly, to me, it minimizes the words. they're not actually for all trauma survivors. they're not for all people with CDDs. they're for the ones that you find palatable. and that's...uncomfortable, to put it as kindly as i can.
and it's so unnecessary. it is not equivalent to just saying "dni". you are NOT the arbiter of what people deserve or don't, especially when it comes to trauma support/solidarity.
and maybe this is just me misinterpreting the phrase! but it just makes me skin crawl. like idk if there's really a way to justify it that would make me go "oh, i get it" because i don't (but i'm open to discussing it). why not treat each other as human beings deserving of respect and healing?
anyway, this has been a long enough post. i'm tired. i don't know if this even bothers anyone else. but it bugs the shit out of me.
oh, i was going to keep this in the tags, but this is something i want people to see: i mostly see this with people who identify with being anti-endo. but if you identify as pro-/endo and you do this "this isn't for you" thing on general positivity/recovery posts, then this is also about you. and if you don't, then it's not lol.
