⋆˙⟡☾𖤓☽ ⟡˙⋆

Vladvlad | He/Him | Bi | Too much OC lore for how slow I draw...ask about it anyway

[vladvladprocrastinator]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Chapters: 1/? Fandom: How to Train Your Dragon (Animated Movies) Rating: Explicit Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Characters: Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III, Astrid Hofferson, Fishlegs Ingerman, Snotlout Jorgenson, Ruffnut Thorston, Tuffnut Thorston, Stoick the Vast (How to Train Your Dragon), Gobber the Belch (How to Train Your Dragon), Gothi (How to Train Your Dragon), Original Characters, Grimmel the Grisly (How to Train Your Dragon) Additional Tags: Blood and Injury, Graphic Description, Human Sacrifice, References to Norse Religion & Lore, Animal Sacrifice, Mythology References, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, First fic be gentle, Dark Magic, Mind/Mood Altering Substances, Blood Drinking, Astrid Hofferson is So Done, But she Is A Badass Like Its A Nine-to-Five, Not Canon Compliant, Speculative Zoology on the Dragons, Horror, Cannibalism Summary:

With winter's coming, dark shadows loom over the Barbaric Archipelago. Dead dragons with mysterious injuries, ritual pyres that the snow will not touch, voices in dark forests, spirits, trading in blood and bone. Seemingly overnight, everything goes upside-down for Hiccup and the Dragon-Riders as they find themselves in a game of cat and mouse across frost-bitten skies with cruel and terrifying hunters of men and beasts, where the only thing that can save them is their own resolve.

"I am the flesh of the Beast, the Eye of the All-Father! Through me, the pack will be tested, the weak culled, the strong will survive and the truly worthy will ascend to their rightful place in the Hall of Slain! I am the Night-Wraith of the Wild Hunt. Mine are the wings, upon black wind and sky." - Oath of Night-Wraith, Speaker and Chief of the Wild Hunt

  Hello, my friends! This is my first fic and I hope you enjoy it!

Illustration for chapter 1 below cut - TW for obscured dead body

Illustration for chapter 1: SHADOWS WHERE SNOW WON’T FALL

[musashi]

Hey can you guys reblog Cheeseburger so he can take a sunbeam nap on lots of blogs. No other reason I just want you guys to see him.

[vladvladprocrastinator]

HiJack but its The Summer Hikaru Died AU and Jack comes back as an eldritch winter spirit hmm

Maybe an idea for when im done with Dragons: The Wild Hunt

[vladvladprocrastinator]

Another Artfight attack for Glitchdrakon's lovely Mortimer! You can find them all over social media with their Linktree: https://linktr.ee/glitchdrakon. Go give them a follow!

Flavor text:

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"I saw it in the swamp, I swear to you!" Dimitri cried out to his teacher.  "You claim to have seen, and let us go over it again," Otec Bosphorius said, frustrated. "A cat, but with humanlike arms on each limb, a fish tail, a crooked horn, three pairs of ears, but foxlike, not catlike, and a deer's pelt. And it was the size of the tiger in Tzar Nikolai's private zoo. Oh, and it grinned at you with black teeth. Do I have everything right?"  "Yes, Father! Why can't you believe me for once? It was a demon, a true demon, what has walked off the pages of a manuscript."  The elder priest shushed him with the raising of a hand, the conversation clearly over. The two men parted ways on the path to their respective bedchambers, one in disbelief of the youth's imagination, another in disbelief of what he'd seen.  And all the while, in the heart of the Deep-Dark wood, on a log in the middle of a placid swamp, choked by roots and peat, obscured to all the world, Mortimer chittered quietly, waiting on the next foolish prey. 

[vladvladprocrastinator]

My second attack for artfight! Hayloft the snail, by Delphi, you can find them on TikTok under @miss_delphi

Flavor Text: No one knows what it is that Hamish, that overzealous researcher, called out to on that fateful, quiet day. No one knows what answered either. All that was seen was a bright light, parting the clouds, engulfing the grassy hills. All that was heard was a rupturous explosion of choirs and trumpets, shaking the windows of the University. Now, only a smoldering crater remains where he'd gone to commit his ritual acts, and the only legible word in his diaries is…

HAYLOFT

[vladvladprocrastinator]

My attack vs @syrospeaks and their lovely OC, the hellhound Leopold, featuring my very own Abbadon.

Flavor text: The Hell-hound ran at immense speeds through the barren, dust-colored forest. He chased after him, Hell beast and Thoughtform sprinting in a disharmonious rhythm over charred, razor-sharp grass.

[project-changeling-zero]

Jack: that 'Snotlout' sure is an asshole. Hiccup: ehhhhhhhhyyyyyeeeaa. but we're working on it? Jack: your lack of confidence in that is concerning. - Jack: you're telling me that you almost died at 14 for a village that treated you like an outlier your entire life before that and you're just fine with it? Hiccup: Hiccup: i mean, dying isn't exactly uncommon here- Jack: the fact that's your defense is gonna give me gray hairs. and my hair is already white. Hiccup: wait, it is? Jack: metaphorically speaking. - Hiccup: -and that's everything covered! so... what do you think? Jack: Jack: *peer reviewing* i wasn't 100% sure before, but you're definitely autistic. Hiccup: au-what? - Jack: i think extensive social isolation is bound to make you a lil *taps temple w/ finger* in the head, but i dunno, that's just me. Hiccup: you sound like you're talking from experience. Jack: anyway, moving on. Hiccup: wait-

[vladvladprocrastinator]

JOINING ART FIGHT THIS YEAR WOOO

Eventually, I'm going to post all the character sheets (and hopefully some attacks ^_^)

Featuring (Left to Right): Cody & Abbadon, Joel Grim, Esmeralda Nightshade, Adam Klein, and Cain Klein!

[vladvladprocrastinator]

Chapter 2 of Dragons: The Wild Hunt has been uploaded at last!

Dragons: The Wild Hunt - The Seer and the Speaker

Go ahead, my pretties, and enjoy it!

Featuring Gothi as she delves into her past, her regrets, and her search for the true intentions behind the Horseshoe Island massacre.

Illustration for the chapter: The Seer and the Speaker

[veryberryskye]

yeah i like to give my blessing to the most pathetic looking weak little knight at the tournament. she can’t even look me in the eye when i give her my flower and she stutters out that she’ll do her best or something of the like. i think its funny when she has to cry and beg my forgiveness and i get to say “such a shame, i suppose my hand in marriage will have to go to someone else…” and then i get to hear her whimper like a dog. ive done this like 6 times alrea-

did she just win.

[the-stew-goblin]

I shall prepare a stew for the wedding! Extra salt!

[veryberryskye]

wait wait wait stew goblin wait

[peachdelta]

get ready for the wedding

[orcboxer]

it's meee I'm your guardian angel hiiiiii 😇 okay🙏 so. in about six months, you're gonna die of starvation. 🥺 and if I don't protect you, I will get: #fired! 🫢 and that is No Good 🙅‍♀️ hahaaa So. 🙏 I looked into causes of starvation, and it turns out: Your death is totally preventable! 😯 Uh oh! 😆 There's more than enough food to sustain you without interfering with anyone else's survival, but you're not allowed to have it! 🤨 Whaaat? 🤷‍♀️ Apparently, your death is premeditated by thousands of things called "shareholders." So. 🙏 I've been killing people,

[arroscnleche]

soy yooo tu ángel de la guarda holiiiiii 😇 okay🙏 bueno. en como seis meses, vas a morir de hambre. 🥺 y si no te protejo, me van a: #¡despedir! 🫢 y eso No esta Chido 🙅‍♀️jajaaa Entonces. 🙏investigue acerca del tema y resulta que: ¡puedo prevenir tu muerte al 100%! 😯 ¡Uh oh! 😆 Hay más que suficiente comida para que sobrevivas sin que interfieras con la supervivencia de los demás, ¡pero no puedes teneral! 🤨 ¿Queeeé? 🤷‍♀️ Al parecer, tu muerte fue premeditada por miles de cosas llamadas "accionistas." Y bueno. 🙏 empeze a matar personas,

[tracing-rivers]

c'est moooi ton ange gardien coucooou 😇 bon 🙏 alors. dans genre six mois, tu vas mourir de faim. 🥺 et si je te protège pas, je vais me faire: #virer ! 🫢 et ça c'est pas Pas Super 🙅‍♀️ hahaaa Donc. 🙏 j'ai fait mes recherches sur les causes de famine et devine quoi: Ta mort est 100% évitable ! 😯 Oh-oh ! 😆 Il y a largement assez de ressources pour te nourrir sans interférer avec la survie d'autrui, mais tu n'y as pas accès ! 🤨 Quoooi ? 🤷‍♀️ Apparemment ta mort a été préméditée par des milliers de trucs appelées des "actionnaires". Du coup.🙏 j'ai tué pas mal de monde,

[clockworkspider]

hiiiiii 😇 我是亲的守护小天使！okay🙏 嗯。您在差不多半年会饿死哈🥺 若我不能救您我会被#炒鱿鱼！🫢 那可不行哦🙅‍♀️ 哈哈。所以昵🙏我查了一下人类饿死的原因，然后发现：诶呀呀😯亲的死是可以避免哒！😆 这世上有足够食物给亲吃，一点儿也不需要影响别人的生存率哒！但不给亲！🤨 怎么会这样昵？ 🤷‍♀️ 原来，亲的死是被一帮叫“股东”的东西计算好滴！ 所以昵🙏 我杀了一些人，

[orcboxer]

y'all are doing some rosetta stone shit to me

[frizii-catt]

It was requested that I post the ‘in the corner sillies’ and I am a servant to The People so here are the ‘in the corner sillies’ along with some new ones I made for the occasion

[intergalaxis]

For the dancers and dreamers (and being hijack pilled), i have created:

A Free Hijack Shimeji!

yes folks, you heard that right, we're bringing shimejis back with this one muahahaha

for people who have not used shimejis before:

shimejis are basically little desktop buddies that like to run around and bother you while you're working occasionally :)

you need to download java, which you can do here: https://www.java.com/en/download/

link to the shimeji download: https://www.mediafire.com/file/9r4vyiimci1i81k/Hijack_Shimeji.zip/file

tips!!

you can right click on the shimeji to pull up settings

for more general settings, you can find the icon in your server tray (the up arrow on the right of your taskbar)

to get them to interact with certain windows, you need to add them to the list in the settings -> interactive windows -> input the title of the window you want letter by letter so it will register :)

Once you have both java and the file attached downloaded, you need to:

unzip the file and extract its contents into a folder (this step is very important! it will not work otherwise)

run the .jar file inside the folder (titled "Hijack Shimeji.jar" and hiccup and jack will descend from the sky :)

notes:

works best on windows. not sure if macs can easily get shimeji without going over hoops

if you are stuck or something isnt working properly, leave a comment so either me or others can help you fix it!

if the shimeji is acting weird, like climbing in weird spaces, it might have something to do with your application being fullscreen/not

they might be a little glitchy when in between multiple screens! at least they are for me. have not found a fix for that yet

have fun!!! i certainly will be lol

[homunculus-argument]

Depressing but somewhat plausible theory for any modern zombie apocalypse show that simply refuses to just call them "zombies":

Early on during the pandemic, various media corporations tried their best to cover up what was happening, and anything mentioning the word "zombie" got shadowbanned, so a mountain of euphenisms came up instead because everyone knows what you're talking about when making a post complaining about how you'd really need to go get groceries but your neighbours have ~*forgotten their manners*~ and are blocking the door.

And anyone born after the fall - or who was simply too young to remember at the time - has no knowledge of why every group seems to have a different name for the zeds, walkers, the dead, strangers, infected, visitors, etc.

[helenvaughans]

[itsmistybitch-deactivated202605]

These posts are sisters

[lierdumoa]

[orcboxer]

it's meee I'm your guardian angel hiiiiii 😇 okay🙏 so. in about six months, you're gonna die of starvation. 🥺 and if I don't protect you, I will get: #fired! 🫢 and that is No Good 🙅‍♀️ hahaaa So. 🙏 I looked into causes of starvation, and it turns out: Your death is totally preventable! 😯 Uh oh! 😆 There's more than enough food to sustain you without interfering with anyone else's survival, but you're not allowed to have it! 🤨 Whaaat? 🤷‍♀️ Apparently, your death is premeditated by thousands of things called "shareholders." So. 🙏 I've been killing people,

[arroscnleche]

soy yooo tu ángel de la guarda holiiiiii 😇 okay🙏 bueno. en como seis meses, vas a morir de hambre. 🥺 y si no te protejo, me van a: #¡despedir! 🫢 y eso No esta Chido 🙅‍♀️jajaaa Entonces. 🙏investigue acerca del tema y resulta que: ¡puedo prevenir tu muerte al 100%! 😯 ¡Uh oh! 😆 Hay más que suficiente comida para que sobrevivas sin que interfieras con la supervivencia de los demás, ¡pero no puedes teneral! 🤨 ¿Queeeé? 🤷‍♀️ Al parecer, tu muerte fue premeditada por miles de cosas llamadas "accionistas." Y bueno. 🙏 empeze a matar personas,

[tracing-rivers]

c'est moooi ton ange gardien coucooou 😇 bon 🙏 alors. dans genre six mois, tu vas mourir de faim. 🥺 et si je te protège pas, je vais me faire: #virer ! 🫢 et ça c'est pas Pas Super 🙅‍♀️ hahaaa Donc. 🙏 j'ai fait mes recherches sur les causes de famine et devine quoi: Ta mort est 100% évitable ! 😯 Oh-oh ! 😆 Il y a largement assez de ressources pour te nourrir sans interférer avec la survie d'autrui, mais tu n'y as pas accès ! 🤨 Quoooi ? 🤷‍♀️ Apparemment ta mort a été préméditée par des milliers de trucs appelées des "actionnaires". Du coup.🙏 j'ai tué pas mal de monde,

[clockworkspider]

hiiiiii 😇 我是亲的守护小天使！okay🙏 嗯。您在差不多半年会饿死哈🥺 若我不能救您我会被#炒鱿鱼！🫢 那可不行哦🙅‍♀️ 哈哈。所以昵🙏我查了一下人类饿死的原因，然后发现：诶呀呀😯亲的死是可以避免哒！😆 这世上有足够食物给亲吃，一点儿也不需要影响别人的生存率哒！但不给亲！🤨 怎么会这样昵？ 🤷‍♀️ 原来，亲的死是被一帮叫“股东”的东西计算好滴！ 所以昵🙏 我杀了一些人，

[orcboxer]

y'all are doing some rosetta stone shit to me

[super-metroid]

if shes your girl then why have i slowly been replacing her parts until there’s nothing left of her original body? is she then still your girl?

[averysoftsheep]

They ship of theseus’d my girl

Can’t have shit in Detroit

[roach-works]

this actually perfectly demonstrates the transitive property of memes: you can replace a meme piece by piece until it only structurally resembles the original, and it is, in fact, the same meme.

call that the meme of theseus thesis

[fadeverb]

tumblrites can have a little intertextuality as a treat

[heroofthreefaces]

my naym is ship and when i’m broke the broken part from me they toke

replace the part had been the plan but in the morn hand door car man

[trickstertime]

*me shoving transitive properties into my purse* sorry, I have to go

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

We owe the reddit refugees an apology for making them see posts like this

[cat-with-no-name]

no we don’t this shit is enrichment in their new enclosure

[marlynnofmany]

*slaps roof of Tumblr* This baby can fit so many rare vintages, you just have to go deep enough, there are some great memes in the cellar, come see