archive blog

he/him | i hate ohio

[cassassinated]

I miss the days when, no matter how slow your internet was, if you paused any video and let it buffer long enough, you could watch it uninterrupted

[mythicalwashrag]

[useful-info-haver]

If you use Firefox, you can go to the about:config page, search for "media.mediasource.enabled" and double click on it to set it to false. After you restart Firefox, all youtube videos will load entirely even when paused! This also affects other streaming websites :)

[nyxgoddessofcandles]

There's more to do actually, now

go to About:config find media.mediasource.enabled and toggle it to false find media.cache_readahead_limit and change it to 9999 find media.cache_resume_threshold and change it to 9999

additionally if you'd prefer mp4 to webm

also in about:config, find: media.encoder.webm.enabled media.mediasource.webm.audio.enabled media.mediasource.webm.enabled media.webm.enabled and toggle them all to false

note! this will limit video to 1080p

and use https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/dont-accept-webp/ to kill WebP Fuck Google

[vortex-vt]

We jailbreaking browsers now lmao

[tekkitlive]

my #Intro

^ this from my Lovely Oomf @technosimping WAAAAAA I LOVE IT

hai i am angel (if you've Come from the clangen comic, BEWARE: my blog is mostly minecraft. find the comic here) update tag for the comic is > weather update!!!

i am connoreatspants Parasocial Princess that is My Streamer ❤️ im him if he was a Teenage Girl

(self proclaimed) Number One Connor Frog

i am Autistic diagnosed Excuse my Weirdness and i Always type like This . it Won't change

i'm a Mixture of an Art/Fandom Blog, a Parasocial Blog and a Crit Blog. You get the Best of Everything here!

what is My Dni ? and What do i Like ?

i like connoreatspants Obviously . i also like smplive and dsmp Those are really my Main interests but i also Dabble in sonic content Sometimes . i think it's Crucial that all connor enioyers are Also sonic enjoyers. i Also like pokemon kirby & warrior cats

other yters/streamers Besides conar: ludwig, slimecicle, ted nivison, highcraft crew, pokay, yahiamice, koury sisters, maya higa, (occasionally) the yard boys, alpharad, wolfeyvgc, jawsh Sometimes but he lowk a Chud

for my Dni : i Don't have one 🙂 (exceptif you are dteam or wss Support i HATE You .) Ofc i have things i Don't Like but ill Probably just Block u if i don't like u

i'll add a byf here too Sure . BYF BYF BYF !

if U don't mention that ur dteam or wss in ur Profile i Probably won't know . if u see me Interacting w someone like that Js Tell me

IM AN RPFER. Block if u don't like it. i Keep my thoughts out of Maintags and Censor names ofc. Decency is Cool

i Don't care what people Post except if it's Something Stupid so i'll Probably be Interacting with Almost Everybody.

connor antis have my Full Hostility. Even if its a Joke ill be Carefully Eyeing You

what are my Socials ?

i don't have discord before you Ask. Sorry ive only heard Horror Stories about that Place.

Secret! you Gotta hunt to find Me elsewhere. True Love will pave the way .

Tag guide Below

angel chatters/angel rants : I Can't Shut My Mouth 🤣

angel's parasocialisms : Being Crazy

angel's sneak peeks : Fit Checks + irl pics

c : connor parasocialism SPECIFICALLY

stamps below hehehe

[silvaurum]

basketball dracula isn't real dude he can't-- *sudden squeaking noises from the shadows*

[silvaurum]

*two pool toys having sex tumble by in the wind* oh thank god

[silvaurum]

*thunderous slam dunk noise*

[fallout-lou-begas]

Visit Original Link

[miyuliart]

Finally, I can present you my little comic ‘Hearts for Sale’. These are the first 10 pages. I’m very nervous about this since it’s my first self-published book. I hope you like the story. Read Part 2/ Part 3

[miyuliart]

I can’t believe I made this story 12 years ago! It has been forever…

[dear-ao3]

recipe that has and will continue to stand the test of time: godly tofu

ok that’s not the actual name. the actual name is like breaded tofu steaks and ginger sauce but godly tofu has a better ring to it and it is, in fact, godly.

this recipe came out of an early 2000s cooking light cookbook that i’m pretty sure my dad found in a dumpster (?) at work and i’ve been eating it for pretty much my entire life. it’s relatively low effort tho it does take three separate pans so if you’re not in a three pan mood, perhaps don’t attempt.

WHAT YOU NEED:

pasta (any sort but one that holds sauce well is preferred)

one package of firm tofu

1 egg

1/4 plus cup of flour (i’ve tried regular and GF, both work)

bread crumbs (bit more than flour amount)

dried dill

dried thyme

smoked paprika

salt

pepper

some kind of oil to cook the tofu in (olive, vegetable, whatever u got)

1/3 cup rice vinegar

water

2 tbsp soy sauce

1/3 cup sugar

1 tbsp corn starch/arrow root powder

as much fresh grated ginger as your heart desires

optional fresh peppers, peas and/or corn

FOR THE PASTA:

literally just make pasta. how ever much you want. it makes roughly 3-4 servings of tofu depending on how hungry u are and how you cut it. if you’re adding peas and or corn throw it in during the last like 2 minutes of pasta cooking. i trust you know how to make pasta.

FOR THE TOFU:

remove tofu from package and squish out at least some water with paper towels. you don’t have to go too crazy. cut horizontally into either four or six brick shaped slab pieces (depending on how thick you want your tofu and how much you care about breading to tofu ratio. i usually do six). in a flat bowl that will fit the tofu crack your egg. add a bit of water if the egg seems small. beat. in another equally shaped bowl add a bit more than a quarter cup of your flour of choice. add to that about an equal amount of bread crumbs. the seasoned ones work better, the regular ones are also fine. then you’re going to add the same amount of dill, smoked paprika, salt and pepper (half ish teaspoon). add twice the amount of thyme (full ish teaspoon). mix together.

at this point you’ll want to get out a frying pan shaped pan that will fit all of your tofu. add a generous amount of oil to your pan. turn on medium ish heat. return your attention to the tofu.

dip tofu first in the dry mixture, then the egg, then back in the dry. make sure all sides are covered in breading. then put in pan. repeat for all pieces. make sure there is oil touching all of the tofu. it’s doesn’t have to be swimming in oil, but it should be touching it so the breading doesn’t burn. cook until nice and browned on the first side and then flip over to the other side, you may have to add more oil. if the edges don’t look brown and yummy make sure they get some pan time too, but usually just doing both sides works. remove from heat when done. can blot off any excess oil with paper towels if you want to do that.

FOR THE SAUCE:

you can make this while the tofu is cooking if you feel like multi tasking, or after if not. in one small saucepan put in 1/3 cup rice vinegar, 1/2 cup water, 2 tbsp soy sauce and 1/3 cup sugar. cook on high ish heat until sugar is dissolved. mix together in a separate receptacle 1/4 cup water and 1 tbsp corn starch/arrow root powder until it is combined. add this to your sauce pan. reduce the heat. it will start to bubble and thicken after awhile. this is correct. remove from heat. to this, add a bit of grated fresh ginger. as much as you want. the more ginger, the more gingery it will be. this is especially good if you need to clear out your nose.

cut up the tofu into squares, serve over top of the pasta. drench in ginger sauce. top with peppers if feeling freaky. enjoy and ascend as you consume the godly tofu.

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[meltylcnd-nightmare]

putting these links here for no reason in particular don't mind me :^)

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[samoiiyed]

mumbo's (not so great) experience turning 30

[rroextra]

[lemuriz]

Fav Music Stamps (f2u)

artists pictured: The Happy Fits, Hozier, The Family Crest, Fish in a Birdcage, The Crane Wives, Peach Pit, Talkie, Lord Huron, Jukebox The Ghost, Dom Fera, Chappell Roan, Glass Animals, Sea Wolf, half•alive, Saint Motel

[hydrangea-shelters]

LOTS MORE PUNK STAMPS! (part 2)

I am really late for the holiday spirit, but I got something for you folks. Remember the punk stamps I made many months ago? It finally got a sequel with MORE MORE MORE punx!

Surf punk - if surf rock isn't enough. Try out surf punk, examples: Agent Orange, some songs of The Cramps, Adolecents

Pop punk - Pop infused punk, really energetic. while some have political themes like Green Day's American Idiot. Most pop punk are more introspective, personal, or something teenagers relate to. Examples: Green Day, Ramones, Buzzcocks, Descendents, Avril Lavigne, Paramore, Blink 182, Sum 41, Bowling for Soup

Punk Jazz - I can't find bands that actually present themself as punk jazz but there are punk and post punk bands that incorporate jazz elements. Examples: Midori, The Birthday Party, Lydia Lunch, Nomeansno, Minutemen, James Chance and the Cortortions

Punk Rap - Hip hop or rap blend with punk, may either have punk music with it or just rapping but really punk themes. Examples: Beastie Boys, Body Count, City Morgue, Ho99o9, Death Grips, Bob Vylan, Moscow Death Brigade. I was going for an urban feel when making the stamp

Psychobilly - Overlaps with horror punk when it comes to themes but takes elements from rockabilly and 50s rock and roll. Examples: The Cramps, Nekromantix, The Brains, Batmobile. Stamp inspired by 50s-70s b-movie posters.

New Wave - yes, it came from punk, art punk, post punk, and dance punk. More pop sounding. Examples: Blondie, Duran Duran, Tears for Fears, Adam Ant, A Flock of Seagulls, Depeche Mode, Pet Shop Boys. Stamp made to be the most 80s thing as for me, new wave is just peak 80s music

Shaman Punk - a punk subgenre that blends psychedelic rock, folk, and punk with shamanic, esoteric themes. Currently, the only band that fit this genre is the Hungarian folk punk/psychedelic rock band, Vágtázó Halottkémek (Galloping Coroners) and it's folk counterpart, Vágtázó Csondaszarvas (Galloping Wonderstag). Stamp inspired by most of Galloping Coroners' albums.

Riot Grrrl - feminist punk rock movement. Examples: Bikini Kill, Bratmobile, Slant 6, Excuse 17, Jack Off Jill, Heavens to Betsy

Queercore - LGBTQ+ punk movement, punk with LGBTQ+ themes. Examples: GLOSS, Limp Wrist, Pansy Division, Against Me, HIRS Collective/HIRS, GEL

Post Hardcore - From hardcore punk that lead more experimentation. Examples: Husker Du, Fugazi, Underoath, Alexisonfire, Saosin, Silverstein. I kinda made some minimal landscape for the stamp (as i don't know what to put).

Cybergrind - If Digital Hardcore felt like a cyberpunk fight music for your Cyberpunk 2077 gameplays, Cybergrind is more of a terrifying cyberpunk experience, think of I have no mouth and I must scream and Tetsuo the Iron Man. Electronic music blend in with grindcore (again, i placed grindcore for punk instead of metal because of its punk roots). Examples: Agoraphobic Nosebleed, Genghis Tron, Gigantic Brain, The Berzerker, Phantomsmasher/Atomsmasher

Garage Punk - Garage rock of the 60s + punk rock. Garage punk stamp was just made simple because most covers i see is quite minimal or has band photo. Examples: The Mummies, Dead Moon, Jay Reatard, The Exploding Hearts, The Dirtbombs, Davila 666

Emo Pop - This is what mainstream think about emo, which is actually emo pop. For the original genre, emotional hardcore, I have it on my part 1 of my punk stamps. Bands associated with emo pop: My Chemical Romance, Fall Out Boy, All Time Low, Paramore

Dark Cabaret - inspired by Weimar-era cabaret, vaudeville, and burlesque music mix with punk, rock, and gothic genres. Dark lyrics, sometimes have a "steampunk" or "circus" vibe with it.

Punk Cabaret examples: Humanwine, The World Inferno Friendship Society

Jazzy dark cabaret: Jill Tracy

Dark Cabaret: The Tiger Lilies, Circus Contraption, Caravan of Thieves, Vagabond Opera, Kabaret Sybarit

Steampunk Cabaret: The Cog is Dead

Gothic dark cabaret: Cinema Strange, Bojler, Shadow Project, Aurelio Voltaire, some Sopor Aeternus songs...

Art Punk - experimental punk genre that isn't going for the 3 chord and more avant garde. Decided to give off some "contemporary art" inspo for the stamp. Examples: Television, Talking Heads, Wire, Minutemen, Cardiacs, Fugazi

Cowpunk - Country punk, western themes, red dead redemption, yeehaw, cowboys and stuff... Examples: Meat Puppets, Social Distortion, Dead Milkmen, The Gun Club, Supersuckers

Dance Punk - upbeat, dancable punk music. Examples: LCD Soundsystem, Gang of Four, Public Image LTD, Viagra Boys, Franz Ferdinand, Le Tigre

Beatdown Hardcore - coming from hardcore punk but slower, more emphasis on palm muted guitars and breadowns. Aggressive, coming from the "tough guy hardcore" genre. Almost sounding like metal than punk. Has elements of hip hop and shares similar aesthetic. Musically similar to Slam Brutal Death Metal with the chugging minus the growls. Music that should play in Salty Spitoon because it was so tuff. Examples: Knocked Loose, Shattered Realm, Cold as Life, Irate, Xibalba, Bulldoze, Kublai Khan

feel free to use it to your personal page, carrd, neocities, strawpage, toyhouse, sheezy, deviantart, etc. No need to credit when using the stamps (like putting html embeds and stuff) but linking any of my pages is appreciated when reposted, reblog, or reupload on different places.

[genderstealeroclock]

tally hall blinkies / stamps 👍

edit: this went scary viral in the tallytumblr community. have even more you greedy things /aff

NONE of these are made by me.

[legality-graphics]

Physical media disc related web graphics!

None of these were made by me. Please read my pinned post before asking me any questions..

[aroace-ryland-grace]

Hi guys! I thought I should just share my whole mini little library of Project Hail Mary-related things so they're all in one place:

It includes:

A telesync of the movie (with English soft subtitles)

A digital copy of the movie (with occasional Russian hard subtitles)

My transcript of the movie (more on that here)

Audio recordings of the movie

A PDF of the book

An EPUB of the book (for e-readers)

The full audiobook

A copy of Andy Weir's doc on Eridians

A copy of Andy Weir's spreadsheet on Astrophage physics (among many other things!)

A draft of the screenplay for the film from 2022

An audio recording of the director's commentary

My transcript of the director's commentary

The telesync subtitle SRT file

The audiobook, audio recordings, and commentary all have their properties programmed so they (should) work just like songs with a track number, album cover, artist, and so on if you download them.

There are two audios of the movie, one is the entire film untouched and one is that same audio cut up and broken down into separate scenes for convenience.

Additionally, there are two versions of the transcript, one with time stamps that match the audio and one without. The time stamps (+ their titles from the audio) are outlined in that version, so if you double-click on that tab or click "show outline," they'll all show up and you can pick a specific scene.

The first few seconds of the commentary are missing unfortunately as my US friend who was kind enough to record it for me had some technical difficulties at the start, but the commentary starts around the shot of the robot arms right before the shot of "good luck!" written on Grace's sleeping bag. It's also about 40-45-ish seconds behind the audio recording if you can only listen.

There's also a google doc with some instructions to follow if any of the files aren't working, which usually happens when too many people try to access or download something at the same time.

As always, if anything's not working right or you notice any mistakes in anything, please let me know and I'll fix it as soon as I can!

[aroace-ryland-grace]

Apologies for the long and unexpected delay, but the transcript for the director's commentary is finished and now available in the drive! 

There are two different versions of the transcript, the first is made to listen along to the commentary, while the second is more intended to be read on its own. The first is a direct transcription of everything that's said (an attempt, at least), while the second is slightly cleaned up for easier reading, meaning things like jumbled sentences and stuttering were removed or reorganised, but nothing has been actually paraphrased or anything. Both are broken down into different scenes based on how their conversation goes, and the listening version includes timestamps. 

Like I said in the movie transcript's post, I am not a professional transcriber and this is just something I did for fun, so it is definitely not perfect. Additionally, there are a few spots throughout the transcript where I couldn't figure out exactly what they were saying, mostly because there wasn't enough diction, and those are all marked with a question mark in brackets. So if you know what they're saying in those spots (or any other spots I may have misheard without realising it), please let me know and I'll correct it!

[miss-oranje]

the thing is, im always interested in The Paperwork. whenever The Characters moan and groan about The Paperwork and whenever it's left unspecified what The Paperwork entails i go aw... The Paperwork... u dont deserve this attitude, The Paperwork... im sure you're very interesting and important... this is because i like my job at The Paperwork factory and because i like homework and it's also because The Characters often hold positions of power attained through superhuman abilities and enforced with violence and i know that The Paperwork is there, aspirationally, to document their actions and protect people. from institutional neglect and from The Characters. when The Characters ignore The Paperwork to fuck each other on The Desk i think less of them for it. i do.

[miss-oranje]

i made this post offhandedly, but resentment/dismissal of The Paperwork is a trope from procedural fiction and commercial sff that is really really common in fanworks bc it makes for an easy shorthand when u don't want to research or invent the details of a job, and i do seriously want to ask everyone to get skeptical of it. it's part of a broader narrative type of the ultra-talented Maverick, usually law enforcement or pseudo law enforcement (e.g. a monster hunter, a status-quo-enforcing time traveler, a man in black, a moral mercenary, etc.), whose ability to police the boundaries of Civilization ("normal," defined by hegemony, Flawed But Worth Preserving!) and protect a homogenous Public (white, heteronormative, bourgeois, documented, "law-abiding," "innocent," helpless!!) is limited not by his energy or ability, but by forces (small-minded, foolish, persnickety, overcautious, sexless, dull, effeminate!!!) of Overhead, from whence comes... The Paperwork.

The Paperwork might be generated by administrators, journalists, lawyers, judges, civilian oversight committees, the village elders or the intergalactic legislature, depending on the story. and who benefits from us telling each other stories that belittle & villainize those professions while lionizing The Maverick? "if only The Maverick were given unlimited resources, unlimited access, unlimited privacy in his operations, and unlimited use of excessive force, he would be able to protect The Public (and find love! maybe on The Desk)." you see it, right? this is how copaganda will get in your head.

[miss-oranje]

no these are great tags! thank you!

[galaxy-lilies]

his redstone #hisredstone

[hokanovastella]

hey this is really random, but in 2024 you posted this: https://www.tumblr.com/hokanovastella/757957009016586240/does-anyone-who-was-in-contact-with-the-social?source=share

post abt robert hallow and the holy men's music and sharing it. would there be any way i could snag the files off you? i really want to have the album in song form so i dont have to deal with spotify all the time but there is no easy way to download them

Of course! I don't have any of the songs outside of the Empty Plates album. But if anyone is able to find the files to their other songs (I want to say 'Brother' is the title of another song? I may be wrong) please send them my way!

[garecc]

thank you SO much omg. im obsessed with this album and using spotify to listen annoyed me so much!

[greentrickster]

Daughter of fantasy villains decides to rebel against her parents by actually going through with her arranged marriage to a local golden retriever of a prince instead of running off with some local villain-to-be or conquering said golden retriever’s kingdom and ruling it solo like her parents expect her to. Plus, sue her, she’s into the clean-cut earnest look.

At the same time, local prince charming discovers that he’s actually very into the gothic fiance his parents have landed him with in order to try and establish peace with the local evil lair down the lane, he would never have guessed a spiderweb pattern could look so fetching on a ball gown…?

Meanwhile, two pairs of parents in a tizzy because they both expected their offspring to whole-heartedly reject this union and give them an excuse to conquer their goody-two-shoes/evil neighbours, they’re not supposed to actually like each other-!

[chucktaylorupset]

respective friend groups undergoing culture clash like all of prince charming’s knights are like what vile spell has been used to ensorcel our prince.  we must be on our guard for surely this is but a ruse for an assassination attempt

meanwhile the villain bride’s friends are all like clearly he loves you not, why do you persist in a manner that will ensure your own heart break, i mean if he was taking this seriously there would be at least three assassination attempts by now.  it’s like he doesn’t even notice that you have massive amounts of dark power to covet for his own

smashcut to

fully armored knight, clanging through the hallways in attempts at stealth, blades drawn: i’m just saying, i took an oath of protection.  this feels wrong.

prince charming: it’s not wrong, it’s celebrating cross cultural traditions for my beloved bride

knight: it’s attempted murder

prince charming: it’s a loving attempted murder

[greentrickster]

@chucktaylorupset  Meanwhile the bride has a bouquet of roses, cornflowers, and wheat sheaves on her desk in her room, and she’s not coming out until she’s written a beautiful and moving poem about how they favourably compare to her groom. It’s been three days. She’s gone through an entire raven’s worth of quills (unethically sourced). The ‘toads who used to be my friends’ list has gone up by one. But she’s bent dark forces and eldritch spirits to her will and, by the powers obscene, this will not be the thing that breaks her.

Sorceress friend: Please, just get him an amulet that will double his power at the cost of his soul, no one’s worth this.

Rebellious villainess: (nearly in tears) No, he brought his best knights to the castle and tried to kill me last week, at midnight, I can’t ignore something like that! He even kicked Cathulhu!

Sorceress friend: He nudged it with his foot. And then he apologized to it. In tears.

Rebellious villainess: (actually in tears now, for reasons of feels instead of poetic torment) He’s trying so hard!!!

[greentrickster]

Villainess: Beloathed, I need a goat.

Prince: Of course, darling - may I inquire as to what for?

Villainess: Blood sacrifice to the dark gods, you know how it is.

Prince: …

Prince: …darling, you know I support your lifestyle choices, but I must say this before it potentially happens.

Prince: I’m not all right with human sacrifice. That’s one of my boundaries. I don’t know if you do that or not, but it seemed a topical time to bring it up.

Villainess: (carefree laugh) Oh beloathed, don’t worry yourself about such things, I would never!

Villainess: (leading him off to the goat market) Only incompetents use actual humans. Skilled practitioners of the dark arts know that a goat is not only a sufficient sacrifice, but the superior one.

Prince: You don’t say? Fascinating!

[greentrickster]

@sapphire-monkey One of the nobles against the marriage in the prince’s kingdom invites the villainess to a local village’s blessing ritual, secure in the knowledge that it’s not only custom to wear the absolute palest white or undyed linen/woolen clothing one owns, it’s a requirement of the ritual and sacrilegious to do otherwise. Let’s see you deal with that miss all-black-wardrobe.

She arrives in diaphanous white silk edged with lace that gives the impression of beautifully tattered hems, all of it drifting gently around her on the spring breeze to give the feeling of a wraith from a haunted castle or something of the such. While not her personal cup of tea, she finds the ritual very moving, and absolutely understands why its one of her beloathed’s favorites.

One of the nobles from her kingdom, meanwhile, decides, fuck it, and just turns the prince into a frog. It takes her two minutes to find and fix him.

Villain noble: How.

Villainess: True love’s kiss, bitch.

Villain noble: (seethes)

The prince, meanwhile, pissed off the entire villainous court for the recent engagement ball that was held by knowing and responding accordingly to all the proper threats and insults. He studied before doing this, and he’s not going to shame darling in front of her peers! Bastard even managed to subdue his chivalry long enough to flirt with one of her friends right in front of her, how dare he be so considerate and sensitive to her needs like that-!?

[greentrickster]

First time the Prince finds out Villainess can transform into a gigantic fire-breathing dragon is a very O_OU moment for him.

Villainess: Are you surprised I can? It’s a common ability.

Prince: I didn’t want to assume.

Villainess: …

Prince: (sweats)

Villainess: …you’re picturing me turning into a dragon and riding on my back into battle, aren’t you?

Prince: N-no, no, of course not-!

Villainess: (drapes in his lap) It’s okay, we’d look fantastic. (sly expression) And probably scary enough to get the enemy forces to surrender without any needless bloodshed.

Prince: (sweating) Darling, are you trying to tempt me into putting you into a position where you could be injured in battle?

Villainess: A little. :3 (more seriously) But it is also on the table if we ever need to defend our throne. It’s the sort of thing that form’s for, really.

Prince: If you’re comfortable with it, then very well, it shall be added to the list of acceptable strategies.

(comfortable cuddling for a moment)

Prince: I imagine you make a very majestic dragon.

Villainess: (preening) I really do.

Prince: Perhaps we should have a tapestry done of it, then? It could hang opposite the one of my family’s crest in the throne room when we someday ascend the thrones ourselves.

Villainess: 8O! Beloathed, I would adore a tapestry of that! (cuddles further against him) Oh, and across from your family crest! That would be such a slap in the face to my parents, having a tapestry of me there instead of their own crest.

Prince: (hadn’t thought of it that way, but is happy that she’s happy)

[greentrickster]

Villainess comes in one night thoroughly out of sorts because her stupid cousin’s decided to make a move on her rights to the souls of their ancestors, and the jerk’s competent enough to actually have a potential chance at getting them, too, like he’d even wear the necklace of jewels they’re trapped in-!!!

The Prince listens patiently to her frustration until she’s finished, then considers for a few minutes.

“Darling, about that banquet your family’s having next fortnight - will your cousin be in attendance?”

“Yes, he’ll be using it to lay the groundwork of his plans. Why?”

“Would it be all right if I popped in for a bit? And was rather more… myself than I usually am around your parents?”

“…I suppose it’d be all right.”

“Wonderful!” (kisses her hand) “Perhaps wear those full-arm gloves your friend got you for the event - the ones that allow you to handle blessed objects without them interfering with your dark powers?”

“Well now I’m just curious. I shall do as you request, beloathed.”

The night of he shows up to the banquet positively radiating charm, good will, and benevolence, decked out in full armor that’s glowing slightly. Oh this? It’s the ancestral trappings of one of his relatives who was a champion of the stellar deities, those who guide ones who have become lost in darkness? He’s not a holy champion himself, but he is a fully-realized warrior of light and family, so he’s permitted to wear it at times. Oh yes, he completed his warrior of light trials when he was eighteen, when on a quest and everything! That’s where he earned his sword - it’s actually a shard of sunlight, you know, not metal. That’s why he’s called Prince of the Sun and Stars sometimes - bit of a grandiose title, really, but the artists and poets enjoy playing with the imagery, and who is he to deny them, especially when Darling is so fond of the stars herself! There’s a lass in one of the kingdom’s villages doing a portrait of the two of them together playing with that motif, actually, and it looks like it’s going to to be absolutely lovely when it’s done-

And he continues to be cheerful, charming, and just the nicest, most polite guy for the time he’s there while also reminding everyone in no uncertain terms that, for as long as the forces of evil have been trying to quash the forces of good, his side has been working at the opposite. And his side tends to win more often. And maybe it would be wise not to pick a fight with Darling because he’d hate to have to do battle with a potential in-law in the path of supporting her family’s traditions regarding people who cross them…

Jerk cousin is thoroughly cowed out of making an attempt at the family-filled jewels, and Villainess’s friends are standing with her off to the side going, “Okay, beginning to see what you see in him now.” Villainess herself is walking around with on safely-gloved hand on his arm as he intimidates the hell out of everyone she knows in order to help her protect what’s hers, swooning a little bit inside the whole time.

(Hers might be more diversely applicable, but Villainess isn’t the only one bringing something to the table in terms of power. Prince is generally more useful for things like getting birds to sing in chorus or making friends with bunnies, but his family does specialize in slaying evil. She may be skilled at facing enemies of all sorts, but he’s prepared specifically for anyone in her home court who might try to backstab her.)

[greentrickster]

@ninjakittenarmy  Is the gown made of actual spider silk. Because that sounds fitting, especially since spider silk is actually a really good material.

Princess: “You like it? It’s made of giant spider silk straight from the underdark!”

Prince: Oh uh that’s really- wait, you can make clothes out of spider silk?

Princess: Yeah! It’s really tough too! You can even make light armor out of it.

The two have a several hours long conversation about spider agriculture. The prince receives spider silk under armor as a wedding gift.

Oh my gods, yes, absolutely!

[greentrickster]

@imaginapalminthemorning  #Addams family origin story 

Congratulations, you are officially the smartest person on the entire thread, holy flip-?!?

[greentrickster]

Villainess is chilling in Prince’s court one day and a lady of the court storms up to her in tears, make-up running, and is just, “One of your friends turned my fiance into a newt, a newt, and he fell in the moat before I could catch him and I don’t know how to find him, or how to change him back if I do find him, and the library only has information on frog and bear transformations, and no one knows what to to do and you’re the only person who might know what to do, please help me-!” (bursts into inconsolable tears)

This throws Villainess through a loop, people don’t tend to whole-heartedly throw their trust in others like this at her place, this is super unsettling, so she just responds in the way she usually would, “Oh? And what price are you willing to pay?”

“Anything.”

…ooooooooh that is so, so tempting, why are people in this court so earnest, don’t they realize that the reason the higher nobles are worried about her marriage to their prince is the very real potential that she could use this opportunity to cast their country and its people into a thousand years of ruin and despair, bare minimum…?! But it would make Darling unhappy if she’s too mean about this, so, “How about your dignity, then? First off, we’ll have to get you out of that dress…” (seductive smirk and cock of the hips)

Court lady: (still in tears but hands immediately go to her bodice laces to start undoing)

Villainess: (grabbing her hands) OKAY, WHOA, HOLD UP, WE’RE IN THE MIDDLE OF COURT, HAVE SOME STANDARDS!!! Just- just go put on something you don’t mind getting all messed up, we’re going to have to get in the moat a bit for this, and even the edges are all muddy.

Court lady: Oh. (sniffles) Okay. Thank-you.

They spend the next three hours dredging around the moat to find the right newt and then perform the right ceremony to turn him human again. He appears naked and covered in mud and court lady unabashedly flings herself into his arms, sobbing in relief this time, and it’s disgustingly wholesome and romantic.

Newt Lordling: (once he’s finished doing a bit of sobbing of his own into his fiance’s hair) Wait, aren’t you Neskatina’s friend? Could you tell her that my sister likes daffodils? Girls, and daffodils? I tried to tell her myself, but the newt thing happened before I could get past asking her to stop with the threatening letters. We- we really don’t send those around here unless we mean it, she’s been finding it a bit upsetting. Daffodils would be much better received.

Villainess: …noted.

[thesaltofcarthage]

OH MY SAINTED AUNT PLEASE PUT THIS ON AO3 SO I CAN SUBSCRIBE TO IT