*distant screaming*

[waluigiswildwiggler]

Chat do strokes really smell like burnt toast or am i just experiencing some weird bpd sleep deprived hallucinations

[waluigiswildwiggler]

Sorry if i am staring at your chest its not because youve got some fabulous bazongas its because i cant make eye contact or I'll start crying

[earth-tooth]

dont support industries that are driving animals to extinction thank you!

[tinysaurus-rex-deactivated20240]

Already reblogged one of these but another reminder: don’t by nautilus shells!

[filenames]

bird_looking_at_its_own_reflection.jpg

[scope-dogg]

covenant_plasma_rifle.jpg

[beaft]

this morning when i woke up i had sleep paralysis so to pass the time i pretended that i was battling an invisible wizard who had cast an immobilising spell on me, and i focused on this wizard and thought at him "YOU HAVE NO POWER HERE" in a really loud mental voice, and as soon as i did that the paralysis went away like literally immediately

[beaft]

I defeated the wizard

[1percentcharge]

One of my roommates cannot stand the way I play minecraft

[1percentcharge]

Instead of looking for diamonds, fighting mobs, trying to go to the nether, doing potions/enchantments/whatever, I like to build these 1-block-wide platforms far above the ground that i walk on to explore without getting lost, attacked or generally inconvenienced. And they hate it

[1percentcharge]

“If you don’t want to get lost just use a compass!” Takes redstone. Also I don’t want to. And on the ground there’s mobs

“Fight the mobs, they’re part of the game!” no. I get scared

“Just use mine carts!” And use all that iron?

“Then use boats and ice!” You need enchantments to collect ice. All my paths take is dirt and ladders (and torches)

“But they’re so UGLY!” Not the point

[1percentcharge]

my paths

[transmascmikey]

reblog to give the person you reblogged from the strength to complete The Task™

[ayeforscotland]

And with your help we can make it 100%.

[waluigiswildwiggler]

*vomits very cutely so you dont notice but you do notice because i threw up blood all over the table at the restaurant you got us a reservation at that cost you a lot of money and then we get kicked out because of my puddle of blood and bile* :3 hi

[jame7t]

hey asshole! you lifted up the rock and now I have to scuttle! motherfucker!

[narwhalsarefalling]

hey guys what should my 244,000th post be?

[narwhalsarefalling]

FUCK

[vykodlak]

of course, the best part of any character's corruption arc is their cool new outfit

[turing-tested]

[candyredterezii]

[feazelbal]

[jambearie]

[1800snostalgia]

Mugshot of a 2-year-old Francois Bertillon, arrested for eating a basket of pears

Follow for more 1800s nostalgia

[nonlinear-nonsubjective]

#who the fuck arrested a two year old #what police officer was like YOU’RE COMING WITH ME SON #was it javert #i bet it was javert (x)

[luanna801]

So actually these photos were taken by the kid’s uncle, Alphonse Bertillon, who was a French police officer and inventor of the mug shot. These photos were just taken as a joke, probably when Bertillon was developing his mugshot technique and needed someone to practice on.

No actual two-year-olds were arrested in the creation of these photos!

[albaficalover]

“1880s nostalgia” with a pic from 1993 yes of course

[onion-souls]

There was also an 1893

[love-god-herself-deactivated202]

From people thinking a toddler was actually arrested, to people somehow misreading “1800s nostalgia” as “1880s,” to this person thinking a fucking daguerreotype was taken in the 1990s… this whole thread was a ride I didn’t expect to take today. 

[love-god-herself-deactivated202]

[urbanfantasyinspiration]

This is worse than the math post

[keagan-ashleigh]

Just to rectify a little thing: the baby isn’t mentioned to be 2 years old but 2 months old (“âgé de deux mois”, mois means month in french).

[carolxdanvers]

Have you ever seen a baby

[firelxdykatara]

ok yes mois means months, but the number there is twenty-three (aka roughly two years) not two

what two-month-old is that size with that much hair lmfao

[elodieunderglass]

In my experience two year olds can only manage one or two pears before slumping to the floor like fruit bats too heavy to fly, so that’s the next part of this very simple post we should focus on

[thedepressionoftrees]

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

[octopuscato]

Whenever I think I’ve seen the worst reading comprehension on this site … a post like this comes along and I have to reconsider.

[transexuality]

[sillysayaka]

tumblr added another secret feature. if you make a post and just type "gullible", it turns it into a different message. tell me which one you got!

[gothdoggirl]

gullible!!

[gothdoggirl]

this is so fucked up how could you do this to me op

[korbensdeliveryservice]

no no you just have to do the word by itself without any punctuation!

[gothdoggirl]

gullible

[gothdoggirl]

NOT ONCE BUT TWICE I AM BETRAYED IM LIKE IF CEASER WAS A LESBIAN

[giraffeautism]

"ok but are you diagnosed" what are you a cop.