wander wonderfully

your mom

[coder-avatar-star]

I’m livid

[crewdlydrawn-deactivated2022072]

That is the most Goldblumiest thing to say. I believe it.

[garrettfest]

Canyon

[damianimated]

Sometimes those chip readers are just a little too aggressive.

[garbage-empress]

PSA

@pregnantseinfeld informed me that I was in a Buzzfeed article (with @creamynut and @bootyscientist2) a few months ago and had no idea.

Turns out that Buzzfeed just embeds Tumblr posts.

So if they take a post you’re in and say, embed it from your blog:

You can go back to the post and edit it to whatever you want and it will appear in the article like that. So you can do things like add “pay me royalties” 100 times

and upload 10 pictures of Waluigi in the T Pose

And ruin the article formatting.

[carnival-phantasm]

Thank you so much for this vital information

[lordmogatron]

Exactly two people on the planet are allowed to wear a wifebeater tucked into jeans

That will be all; I won’t be taking questions.

[maxximoffed]

[marveladdicts]

[monarch-diaries]

Artist

I’ll find my coven one day.

[rachel-weisz]

[allisonpregler]

The beginning of Mulder’s let’s play video.

[kirkspocks]

odin is like “when thor was born the sun shone bright upon his beautiful face. i found loki on the sidewalk outside a taco bell”

[chromalogue]

Oðinn spake:

Bright the sun shone | at the time of Þor’s birth, And bathed his count'nance fair. Loki, wolf-father, | the trickster, the liar, I found on the cold pavement While returning in glory | from a grand hunt For a 3 AM quesadilla.

[baegishjalmur]

@damn-fuck-i-burnt-myself-again

[systlin]

I need this framed on my wall it’s so beautiful. 

[retro-minty]

@theshitpostcalligrapher

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

ay @systlin hmu

[bold-sartorial-statement]

@systlin

My husband complained that this was more Shakespeare than Eddas, and I challenged him to do better.

Solen sken, skönt gyllene

Dagen Tor föddes

På trottoaren, vid Taco Bell

Där låg Loke

—KJN

My translation:

The sun shone, sweet golden

The day of Tor’s birth

On the tarmac, by Taco Bell

There lay Loki

(For poetry reasons, Thor needs the Swedish spelling.)

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

@bold-sartorial-statement

ay yo show ur husband 

[andersonsallpurpose]

@bold-sartorial-statement no but hang on this should be in runes: 

(oops spot the typos)

[svampurinn]

i wanna translate this into icelandic so imma do it 

Sólin skein, björt og gullin við fæðingu Þórs á stígnum við Taco Bell Þar lá Loki

[books-and-candy-ples]

The amount of quality going into these shitposts is amazing

[rembrandtswife]

This is not shitposting, this is transformative work!

[kyraneko]

2019 will soon be upon us and the world needs transformative shitposting as a competitive sport.

[justqueenthoughts]

Bohemian Rhapsody. We Will Rock You. Somebody To Love. All hit singles, and all the direct product of a band that was formed when an astrophysicist and a dentistry major found a new friend in an art college, who then went on to recruit a fourth member from the electronics school. Based on this alliance I propose the rift in society between Arts and STEM students was fabricated to keep us separated so as to dilute our true power - and fabricated by who, you may ask? The business major, the only member of society who reaps no reward from art and science and thus must weaken us so as to stay ahead. In this essay I will

[parkchanwoohoo]

I don’t believe in astrology but one time when I was in college I was complaining about how dumb astrology was and after a while someone on the train went “Shut the hell up and let people have fun you Capricorn sun, Virgo moon bitch” and I was like what the fuck

Then I went home and looked it up and they were right so I don’t say anything anymore

[rigatonicollette]

Filed to “things that definitely happened for sure guys”

[majesticduxk-deactivated2018121]

So last week I tried moaning every time I ate something delicious.

It was vaguely uncomfortable and unnatural

[soupernabturel]

I actually love the idea of doing this trying out fanfic/literary cliche’s out in real life, kinda wanna make up a list and undertake it as a challenge.

[whitmerule]

don’t forget to make your butthole flutter today

[hazeldomain]

Guess someone’s eye color from 20 feet away.

[prairiedust]

Be careful with these. I started reading fanfiction three years ago and now I have to toe my shoes off to get my feet out.

[hazeldomain]

But do you pad across rooms? 

[prairiedust]

Yes but I often give away my position when I huff.

[mittensmorgul]

FYI, I’m smirking at all y’all.

[k-vichan]

I’m resisting the urge to card my fingers through everybody’s hair.

[dorkaelskunkworks]

This is as good a time as any to admit that right now I smell like coffee, sandalwood soap, and something uniquely myself.

[authorjcalamy]

I hate this post so much I clenched my fists and looked away, muscles bunching in my jaw. 

[bettsfic]

i’m so glad to see i’m not alone, i let out a breath i didn’t know i was holding

[sleepingreader]

I’m grinning widely at this

[defydamage]

I chuckled lightly upon reading this post.

[crollalanzaa]

I’m humming appreciatively.

[chubbychoco]

this post is calling me out personally and every single one of you, with all the love in my heart, can shut the fuck up

[alienassmuffin]

finally,,, an outfit that allows him all the flexibility he needs for his job

[alienassmuffin]

This is how he speaks to scully so that he’s at her eye level

[endangered-justice-seeker]

 the only criticism of millennials l accept

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

Constructive Criticism

[scumfuckus]

i will say the funniest thing i’ve ever fucking seen on a tv soap is when my mum was watching holby city (british medical drama) many many years ago and there was this one really arrogant anaesthetist and he was bragging about something or other while holding a charged defibrillator pad in each hand and triumphantly clapped them together and just straight up electrocuted himself and fucking died. it was supposed to be like a serious scene but nothing i’ve ever watched since has surpassed that level of comedy

[scumfuckus]

it’s so much fucking funnier than i remember

[mrsfoxmulder]

Honestly what even WERE the 90s???

[dustrial-inc]

Magic.

[somecutething]

Where did he even find that 😂😂😂