M-O-N-S-T-A

Don't see the point? Then stop looking for it.

[imleaving4good]

[hotgirlstiles]

vernon boyd’s instagram story on a normal day:

[thulium]

[lavenderprose]

Scott, two days after the Chirp Heard Round The World, having had a nap and ate a carb and kissed his boyfriend and realized that he should have under no circumstances let the two craziest motherfuckers in hockey know that he knows their secret: Ilya Rozanov is going to shoot me with a gun.

Shane, pacing in Ilya's living room and wringing his hands: Ilya, Scott Hunter knows about us we need to kill him we need to make it look like an accident we need to do it now

Ilya, kicking his feet and giggling: He said you sound like me?

[endlessly-ranting-antheia]

Ilya: I could marry Svetlana to get American citizenship

Shane: and I could commit a murder suicide right now. See how we’re both saying shit

[shanerozanov]

heated rivalry + text posts // part six.

[escapepodding]

Something I haven't seen discussed in the Heated Rivalry fandom is the Actual Real ice hockey concept of a dance partner or 'tying a man up' where to prevent 2 on 1 brawls or sit out a brawl players on opposing teams will skate up and hug each other in a very damsel in distress way. The first time I saw it I genuinely thought I was watching queer Romeo and Juliet on ice. Are we all going to pretend King Chirper Ilya Rozanov would not start a fight and then go tie up his man as an excuse to cuddle? That Shane Good Boy Hollander couldn't use it as a way of pretending to be the bigger more mature person? Let them cuddle at work as dance partners under the veil of heteronormative witchcraft the league is under to pretend this isn't deeply queer coded!

[my-2nd-account]

I'm sorry THE WHAT!!!!??

[omgpostsplease]

this is what op means for those that are confused (hard to find visuals as they often just show the fight and don’t cut wide to show everyone else on the ice)

[my-2nd-account]

Shane jerks off to Ilya Rozanov top 15 most brutal on ice fights that almost ended his carrer video on YouTube

Ilya jerks off to a blurry 7 second video he took of Shane doing laundry

[my-2nd-account]

@mybloodstream-caffeine oh my god it was you! I knew I've seen this somewhere !!!!

[knownqueerbaiter]

ilya trying to show david hollander a meme on his phone, david having to physically take the phone to hold it 2 feet from his face looking at it over his glasses, staring at it for 15 solid seconds reading it aloud under his breath, and then politely asking ilya “you know this person?”

[aslongasitsblack]

shane becomes convinced cliff and ilya are having an affair because they keep sending each other shit like ‘let me know when you’re back in boston big boy i want to slob on that monster dong’ and finally shane confronts him and ilya is like no baby this is how straight men talk to each other when they’re convinced each other are straight and shane’s like i have never said anything like that to anyone and ilyas like well except to me ;) and shane punches him in the arm and shows him his texts from hayden and they are all like ‘Hey Shane ☺️ thank you for sending Jackie mothers day flowers. We appreciate you so much man.’ and ilyas like shane. this is so fucking gay

[ahexagon]

any semblance of a cool guy persona ilya has with the cens is gone as soon as shane joins. shane makes an admittedly lame joke in front of them and ilya is laughing for wayyy too long. you're married he'll let you hit bro you don't have to do all this

[themoonandmyman]

Shane: Hey Mr Hunter, you played a bad game :)

Hunter:

[themoonandmyman]

Shane, visibly distressed and standing in the middle of the living room: ………….

Ilya: would you like to make a list

Shane: I would like to make a list

Ilya, sighing and disappearing into the office: I will get your special pen

[themoonandmyman]

best Shane traits

- smiles like a contented cartoon frog

- clarifying questions

- stands like it’s his first time in a human body

- macrobiotic-powered autism fuck machine made exclusively for hockey and taking huge cock

- tummy

[themoonandmyman]

‘Ilya next please’ - As you wish my queen

Best Ilya traits

- an ass like two cantaloupes in a sock

- ‘ok’

- dead dad

- *distant sounds of torment*

- cums fast

- spiritual reincarnation of Miss Piggy

[ilyarozanovsmouth]

I'm cackling over this

[fractally]

I am a fan of the dynamic where there's no leak and Shane moves to the Cens of his own accord and then Shane and Ilya never come out exactly but they just live openly and all these dumbass hockey players are just like

"Oh yeah they're just like that. They live together and room together and vacation together and get mad if they're separated on the bench. And they kiss in the locker room sometimes but it's you know. They're joking around. Good guys. Gay? Well---no I don't think so. I mean that's weird. Roz is a pussy hound. I mean I've never seen him with a woman but you know he is. Anyway Hollander had that whole thing with Rose Landry and he still talks about her, I think he's still hung up on her. Poor guy. I did walk in on Hollander sleeping on Roz's lap the other day but they were just getting in sync for power play you know? You reporters always want to make everything gay it's so weird. What do you mean 'why do they kiss so much' they're the top goal scoring duo in the league"

[leonardcohenofficial]

hate an x reader fic do not put me in a situation

[leonardcohenofficial]

peace and love on planet earth

[leonardcohenofficial]