:(

_____________________ Hot dogs are sandwiches

[loredwy]

How is there every time something worse about the guy

[would-you-punt-them]

Okay I kinda assumed that they might try to turn Charlie Kirk into a martyr but seriously what the fuck

Here's a list of real things that have happened in the past 2 days:

He's being awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom

JD Vance personally escorted his body back to Arizona in Air Force Two

All American flags both in the US and abroad are to be flown at half-mast for the rest of the week

Republican senators are calling for a statue of him to be built in the Capitol (quote: "we have one of MLK don't we?")

News anchors are sobbing live on television

The governor of Utah has pledged to give the shooter the death penalty

Vigils are being held nationwide

Evangelicals have been equating him with Jesus

In the House of Representatives a request for a prayer devolved into screaming that the Democrats killed him

The New York Yankees held a moment of silence before the game and proceeded to lose 12-2

People across the country are losing their jobs en masse for criticising him online

MSNBC's political analyst was asked what created the environment for the shooting, said it could be his divisive rhetoric, and was fired on the spot

A UK student wrote "he got shot lol" in a private group chat and it made the news

The State Department announced that they will revoke the visas of foreign nationals who "praise, rationalise, or make light" of his death on social media

Also it was 9/11

[louisegluckpdf]

anxiety will have you thinking things like "will everyone hate me if i order coffee at the coffee shop" and "will people think i'm crazy if i work out at the gym"

[donnasweettttttttt]

when people are like “the hunger games just stole the plot of battle royale” like listen everything steals from the plot of everything the lion king is just furry hamlet westworld is jurassic park but sexier lost is edgy gilligan’s island there are no original stories and the only good piece of media is jennifer’s body

Michael crichton wrote westworld and jurassic park tho so he just pirated himself

michael crichton keeps TRYING to tell y’all about the evils of capitalism impeding on the progress of science when will y’all LISTEN

[kryptonians]

Maybe he just doesn’t like theme parks

michael crichton in line for a roller coaster at six flags: fuck this

[onion-souls]

Jesus Christ, that’s the height at which every rollercoaster and dark ride is a decapitation threat

[sonatine]

[madlori]

how am I ever supposed to leave tumblr when it takes me on journeys like this

[dewyatt]

It would be more accurate to say Jurassic Park is Westworld with dinosaurs, because Westworld (book and movie) came first.

[siorca]

this is so fucking funny I love sharks

[scheidungsgrund]

from twitter user deejaygeejaygee

[galecstatic]

it just gets better

and better

[goingonanadventuremaybe]

[funnyfroge]

[queenofcarrots]

(x)

[wizardarchetypes]

I’m seriously about to fucking (remembers this tweet)

LOSE MY FUCKING MARBLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[tony-hawks-prole-skater-2]

[xxrie]

That’s why you should never accept the excuse “Well it was a different time.” They knew it was wrong. They always knew.

[vimbry-moved]

got chased by a skeleton but when they caught me they just gave me a kiss and hug. turns out it was an xoskeleton.

[vimbry-moved]

this one's a big hit with the ghosts

[magentasnoodle]

found a better thing to say to sneezing than "bless you"

the world isn't ready for my genius

[theunfairfolk]

ive forgotten the origin of "she blank on my blank til i blank" and i dont even begin to know how to look it up

[zzoupz]

bless know your meme

[paper-mario-wiki]

i will ALWAYS go up to bat for the academic necessity of KYM. memes have become such an important cultural language in the past decade and losing the origins of these neo-idioms would be such a tremendous and needless loss.

[kale-slice]

i have a folder dedicated to "bad math memes" i made on mspaint in 2022. a friend of mine said tumblr would eat them up? but you know... i'll post one just to test the waters

[fortunatelychaoticphantom]

I swear to fucking god. I would claw out OneDrive from my computer if I could. I would burn down their servers if I could. I would run down their stocks to the ground if I could. I hope every single one of their workers gets a better offer from a competitor in the next 24 hours. I hope every single one of their light bulbs explodes at the same time. I hope every single carton of milk in their fridge will always be expired.

Stop backing up my fucking files.

Stop asking me to back up my fucking files.

Stop taking my fucking files off my fucking computer.

I don't want a fucking reminder in three fucking days. Let me fucking say no.

Fuckers.

[prismatic-bell]

Friend, I have news you're gonna love. Here's a text tutorial to get rid of that shit on Windows 10.

Here's a text tutorial to get rid of that shit on Windows 11.

Here's a video tutorial to get rid of that shit on Windows 10.

Here's a video tutorial to get rid of that shit on Windows 11.

Go forth. Be free.

[ophilosoraptoro]

Reblog to save a life... and someone's sanity

[odd-maid3n]

[knight--error]

[etchif]

Isn't it fucking insane that so many people think that IQs are real. Like people genuinely believe you are born with one set level of intelligence that can be measured on a scale from 1 to ~200. As if intelligence wasn't extremely nuanced and completely subjective. And the fact that the majority of scientists that have advocated for IQ tests in the past have been eugenicists doesn't seem to concern anyone either

[daylightsavingcrime]

Everyone warns you agaist going to the supermarket hungry, but nobody tells you about the dangers of going there too full: I do not want any of these things, for I will never require any food again at all!