to be alive beneath cherry blossoms

28 | she/her | then-and-again fandom enjoyer | often poet | sometimes meta writer | title by Kobayashi Issa

[inkjie]

you're an antique rover abandoned by the galactic empire who originally deployed you to a remote moon but now a princess from an opposing polity is stranded here too so to bound you show her old cave art you discovered in the moon's lava tubes....

[susandsnell]

feminist killjoy hours again, what the actual fuck is “weird girl literature” and how often do we acquiesce to the latest degrading gendered advertising campaigns

[susandsnell]

Women did not fucking pioneer horror, thriller, and science fiction as we know it for publishing to infantilize it into a high school phase

[headspace-hotel]

I was thinking earlier about my Buckyfic "i am an exit" and how I ended up using the Hydra Trash Party in it

I read a lot of fics with these concepts (of Bucky having survived rape as part of his torture in captivity with Hydra), it was super compelling as a story concept because for me the essential thing about Bucky is the total unmaking of what makes a person, the deep, horrible violation of his body and mind.

so obviously this was going to be part of my fic, and I went with the OG "hydra trash party" concept that Bucky was essentially, passed around as a party favor at gatherings of Hydra officials

but this is a fic with a lot of political commentary, that says a lot about fascism. originally because I wanted to get into the eugenicist implications of the Captain America project.

and this required me to treat Hydra as a neo-nazi organization and actually really engage with the fascist ideology driving Hydra, which meant I had to think about the politics/ideological implications of the trash parties

things come up for that immediately, it's related to fascism's intense contempt for weakness, it's related to fascist understanding of masculinity as violent, it's related to the politics of torture, but ultimately it's related to fascist idea of the world as hierarchical, with dominance and the power to punish being worshiped. fascists love the humiliation of those they see as contemptible.

Rape as ritual for maintaining the in-group seems to dovetail pretty much perfectly with this, and I came to include the idea that it was essentially an initiation ritual for Hydra; everyone was forced to be in the role of both victim and perpetrator, creating a form of in-group solidarity and making it difficult to leave.

It's very connected to my ideas about how people internalize fascism: experiencing powerlessness and being crushed/dominated seems to sometimes lead to people justifying the terrible experience as "necessary" then going on to inflict it upon others, because the idea that things could have been different and the pain did not have a purpose is too painful to confront. Like parents who got hit as children and they go on to hit their own children.

How does this relate to Bucky specifically? Well, my interpretation that I wrote in my fic is that the Winter Soldier is a literal incarnation of fascist logic. He is the thing that is beaten into submission, the thing that is crushed and broken and dominated, and he is a perfect killing machine. The Winter Soldier is made what he is through suffering, pain, and total submission, a subhuman creature reaching the highest level of perfection through his total enslavement. this reflects fascist ideas of the rightness of certain people being subjugated.

At the same time, he is the thing that punishes and crushes, he is a weapon used to enforce the power of the fascists. He is death. He is violence. That is all the Soldier is: a tool for committing violence, and violence is the necessary tool to make the world an orderly place according to fascist ideas.

And the fact that Bucky is raped and forced to commit rape, both in ritual-like contexts, is a further extrapolation of these dual realities respectively

[headspace-hotel]

i just watched thunderbolts finally and im so fucking mad. won't spoil if you haven't seen it or plan to but im having a lot of bucky feelings and they aren't favorable toward marvel which isn't a SURPRISE but everybody said thunderbolts was good and marvel was so back and like yeah it was a pretty good MOVIE but the bucky handling tHE BUCKY HANDLING AAAUUGGGGHHHHHHHH I'M GOING TO KILL. just had to rant to someone currently ill about him bc whole my friends will patiently listen to my rants none of them fully understand because they've never been this mentally ill about bucky

I have seen thunderbolts. rated 4/10 movie. would love to hear your rant though

[questionable-method]

oh thank fuck I'm not alone

alright FIRST OF ALL. congressman bucky?????????? horrible idea to start with, bugged the SHIT out of me in cap 4, doesn't follow his arc or values whatsoever, but i was really hoping it would become clear that the government was too corrupt for him to be a part of in that capacity or he would be. really bad at it. or possibly too good at it in a way he didn't like. and they did make him bad at it lmao but only to then just. become a government weapon again following orders?????? huh?????????? get the fuck out of here with that????? FREE MY BOY

and perhaps almost more egregiously, why in ALL HELL would he listen to the US government over SAM WILSON??? Sam who became captain america WITHOUT government approval because the government approved guy was a piece of SHIT?? Sam who was Steve's chosen successor?? Sam the only person from the modern era who was able to make Bucky actually smile?? Sam he went through hell and back with getting the shield back from Walker--who he's now choosing to team up with instead?? Sam the only one still around who really knew Steve as a person??? Sam who he WALKED OFF INTO THE SUNSET WITH??? Sam who INVITED HIM TO THE DAMN COOKOUT?????? that's his BEST FRIEND bro!! they are BONDED!! and they went through HELL, TOGETHER, in opposition specifically to GOVERNMENT-ORDAINED SUPERHEROES, the same thing they FOUGHT FOR BESIDE STEVE. and now Bucky is just. signing up to be a government avenger????? Valentina made an announcement and he didn't stand up and call bullshit he just. said ok???

and I think that they're trying to portray Bucky as more pragmatic than Sam, which to some extent I think he is, but not like this.

he. would HATE this. every previous portrayal of him in the MCU has him placed against authority, and now they're just throwing him in wherever is convenient!!!!

and ohhh my fuck the suit. THE SUIT. I know it's a comics reference but comics aren't the holy texts and comics Bucky has a very different relationship with the Soldier. that suit has NO BUSINESS being in the MCU. I saw the fucking red star patch on his arm and actually felt a bit sick. I have been seething about it all night. why would you put that on him why would you put that on him WHY WOULD YOU PUT THAT ON HIM

and then there's the fact that they simply didn't do anything with any of his trauma at all. come On you had the fucking mental shame room concept and you didn't show me ONE DAMN GLIMPSE OF BUCKY'S?? didn't even have him look remotely shaken afterwards??? everything he does in this movie is BORING. HOW DID YOU MAKE THIS CHARACTER BORING HE LITERALLY HANDS YOU CONTENT ON A PLATTER AS A WRITER.

i liked a lot of what they did with yelena, she's another favorite of mine, and it was cool to see ava again she was really underutilized, but ouuughhhh i am full of HATRED at how the movie messaging seemed to be about hope and trauma and people broken by the system and then REFUSED TO MAKE A REAL STATEMENT ABOUT THE CORRUPTION THAT HAS AFFECTED EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THESE CHARACTERS. WE JUST GO BACK TO THE STATUS QUO. MARVEL LOOOVES THE STATUS QUO. EVERYTHING IS DONE IN DEFENSE OF THE STATUS QUO. IM KILLING IM KILLING IM KILLING

and they involved a character that could have so much life experience related to the MAIN THEMES OF THE MOVIE and then BARELY USED HIM AT ALL

maybe it's wishful thinking on my part but i don't think sebastian stan's heart was in it either. he normally does outstanding performances even in shit pieces of media but they barely let him show an emotion in this one.

also im tired of alexei he was annoying in black widow and he's still annoying here

also just killing taskmaster in the first 15 minutes of the movie??? rude??????? feels sexist. i wanted to see them actually do something with her

bob was kinda good though. hope lewis pullman enjoys being marvel's next traumatized white boy they're undoubtedly going to butcher over the course of the next several films by not actually informing themselves about the effects of the trauma they gave him

[headspace-hotel]

i haven't seen falcon and the winter soldier *throws up loud and projectile style*

but making bucky a politician is genuinely the weirdest most bad idea you could every come up with and i completely forget they did that until someone reminds me

and of course they weren't going to do anything with his trauma

idk like MCU is so ass I can't even bother to care about it because if I do I'll throw up.

since infinity war and endgame *dry heaves but ive already thrown up so much there is nothing left to throw up* it has been clear that MCU just does not give a flying fuck about character arcs. they don't care about giving any character a satisfying arc or even having a story.

MCU characters are just guys in costumes to stick in a movie to make people go see the movie. for the most part they are not, in the narrative sense, characters at all.

now i must stop thinking about MCU so I can stop puking

[headspace-hotel]

legitimately i feel as though i never want to see or listen to any new disney property until they can stop disgusting mickye mouse diarrhea shitting all over every Potentially good story that begins to exist. i would be very happy if someone burned down disneyland

[headspace-hotel]

Like no I will not be seeing doomsday and no one else should either. why? why you pay money for mickey mouse to take a giant shit directly into your brain.

[dailyanimatedgifs]

Autumn was now upon them. A time of year when raccoons need to find plenty of food, so they can store ample fat and grow long fluffy coats for the coming winter.

POM POKO 平成狸合戦ぽんぽこ 1994 | dir. Isao Takahata

[icestorming]

Rouge one water color doodles ~sigh~

[emziess]

Pingu S01E03

[cadaverkeys]

You guys rlly don't realise how much knowledge is still not committed to the internet. I find books all the time with stuff that is impossible to find through a search engine- most people do not put their magnum opus research online for free and the more niche a skill is the less likely you are to have people who will leak those books online. (Nevermind all the books written prior to the internet that have knowledge that is not considered "relevant" enough to digitise).

Whenever people say that we r growing up with all the world's knowledge at our fingertips...it's not necessarily true. Is the amount of knowledge online potentially infinite? Yes. Is it all knowledge? No. You will be surprised at the niche things you can discover at a local archive or library.

[feyosha]

[escuerzoresucitado]

[eyann1524]

[Stucky]Wedding 

*사진참고(used a reference)

[segamascott]

[otteroflore]

alright everyone is being sassy but nobody has brought up the actual reason why scientists are interested in the titanic in the notes

Per wikipedia:

The Titanic was made of steel, presumably to resist corrosion (i mean. thats why boats are made of steel i assume) but even when iron/steel rusts people did not expect to find like. decomposition. bacteria are EATING the titanic.

and there's wood furniture from the titanic that isn't decaying. hell, there are wood ships at the bottom of the ocean that archaeologists study. so the expectation people have for the titanic is not that the steel would decompose at the bottom of the ocean. Even in 100 years, since there are much more ancient preserved wooden ships iirc.

(im not particularly knowledgeable about ships, i just had heard about the science going on around the titanic so i wanted to clarify that on this post for people)

[shoresoftheshadowlands]

[sailor-arashi]

The Titanic is an exceptionally weird whalefall basically.

[claraschaos]

Not a marine biologist but biologist enough to weigh in on this. The reason we have iron eating bacteria but not wood eating bacteria at the bottom of the ocean is simple. Hydrothermal vents release a cocktail of different mineral ores into the ocean. And bacteria and other organisms evolved alongside those so they evolved to digest these, like iron or other metal ores

Wood however does not exist at the bottom of the ocean since it basically never sinks down, even when logs are flushed out into the ocean they basically never end up at the ocean floor. So there's no bacteria that evolved to decompose lignin, which is already complex enough to decompose on the surface. And that's why wooden ships or the furniture on the Titanic stay intact for hundreds of years or longer.

[lobo-cansado-de-ojos-rojos]

Okay, but I remember reading a magazine stating that the titanic would basically be gone by now because of the rust eating the ship.

The sister ship HMHS Britannic is still perfectly preserved because of the way it sank, and partly in due to the coral that has grown around it keeping the structure in tact I believe was the reason.

[theminingdwarf]

Coral acting like a living fossil specifically for sunken ships is the coolest thing I've ever heard

[kyraneko]

So lemme get this straight, the Titanic is a whalefall, the Britannic is a biological mummy, and all the wood ships that sink into the deep ocean are preserved incorrupt because nothing can eat them.

Zombie, mummy, lich, respectively.

[asparklethatisblue]

different ways to keep warm. why would one need to choose between comfortable cozy warm clothing and being warmed from inside? you can combine it

for zutara week day 2 - warmth

[uniformedwater]

music not hitting, phone not hitting, Minecraft not hitting, food not hitting, mouth taste like blood, death comes for us all

[robinsfinds]

reading email || 2006

[iphigeniacomplex]

“our age of bronze is collapsing” is this beautiful random burst of monty python dialogue amidst the drudgery of nolan’s vision and i think it should win the first-ever oscar for best solitary line

[iphigeniacomplex]

[wringing my hands as i look out my window directly overlooking wall street, watching the sun rise on october 29, 1929] aw fuck it’s the great depression

[estrogenesis-vaporeongelion]

[saltedume]

[kuttithevangu]

The thing about the moon is maybe you don’t need to write a poem about the moon. The moon’s been done, we’ve discussed it. It’s a coin a mirror an eye a lantern in the darkness. It’s a rock in space. It’s the dang moon we’ve all seen it! Is there something you can notice that’s is more surprising than the moon???

[creekfiend]