When life gives you lemmings...

Never wallow in self pity when there's mud available

[deadgirlwalked]

True equality was reached in Jurassic Park 1993 with Robert Muldoon and Dr. Ellie Sattler wearing the same length shorts.

[asteroidtroglodyte]

People will really think being a Dad is boring like my guy there is a Kreacher roaming my halls possessing of my intellect but devoid of my morals getting into mischief and the only real weapon I really have at my disposal is the fact that his desire for my Approval is tremendous.

[argumate]

and the kreacher has never heard any of the jokes in the world, not even the bad ones, they are an entirely blank slate for all that humour has to offer

[asteroidtroglodyte]

They don’t even know how most stuff works! You can show em a fucking flashlight and be like “here this woulda dazzled your Ancestors I bet you’ll like it too”

[argumate]

water! dirt! peanut butter! it's all new!

[asteroidtroglodyte]

Plus, the Kreacher is fun sized! I cannot just hoist most of my friends up into the air on a whim! The Kreacher will perch on my shoulder like some sort of great ape and I can just carry him over Rough Terrain! Trying to get most folks to keep up with me on a good hike usually requires a great deal of persuasion and perhaps some light bribery but this dude’s like “lizards! Bunnies! Rocks! Dirt!” He’s got the right idea proper hiking buddy this one

[asteroidtroglodyte]

Only downside is that with all the rock throwing we’ve done he can now nail me between the eyes with a Lego from 10 yards so I gotta remember not to sass him too much

[brightlyandwithbeautyy]

@gatesong just think about how many Important Indie Rock Albums you’ll be able to inflict on expose babygirl to!

[gatesong]

Preschool teacher in 2029: I brought my guitar for circle time today!

Our daughter: Do you know Two Headed Boy

[strawbebbynya]

all yall make jokes about couples and their nonromantic third wheel having fun together, but im the one getting treated to food tonight by the couple im nonromantically third wheeling. you wish you were me

[whitachi]

I'm sorry I read this as "necromantic third wheel" and went on a very rapid powerful imagination adventure. hello lovebirds I'm the skeleton here for breadsticks

[batboyblog]

you know its telling how few people on the internet actually spend time outdoors in general and around actual gay men in particular

because to hear even Tumblr the "gay gender website" talk people only wear harnesses while strapped into a sex swing while being fisted

but the reality is that the harness, both leather and spandex, in gay male world is like stiletto pumps, a bright red lip stick, a short skirt or push up bra.

sure some people are wearing those things because they're about to get laid or hoping to. But lots of people wear them just to feel sexy, confident or powerful. And there's nothing X rated and "shouldn't be seen in public" about any of that.

lots of gay guys wear harnesses to bars or clubs not because its a sex thing, but because its a sexy thing, they feel attractive and confident.

I get that gay men feeling attractive and confident terrifies people, but if you're at Pride and a guy walks past you in jeans and a harness, either shirtless or over his shirt, he didn't violate your civil rights or do a sex thing in front of you, he's wearing a totally appropriate outside that makes him feel confident and powerful.

grow up, deal.

[maggotwithanf]

I own this exact harness and I wear it to play Beyblade. unironically

[vrumblr]

And you do indeed look very cool and powerful playing Beyblade

[emil]

[dragon-in-a-fez]

idk if I've told this story on here before but one time I was sitting at my desk at work and a random dog I'd never seen before strolled into my office and curled up at my feet. and I was like oh you are adorable but what the fuck?

then a woman knocked on the door and said "oh I'm so sorry he's a therapy dog he's trained to seek out people in severe distress"

and I was like right okay, just getting my whole life drive-by roasted by a dog then

[devilsskettle]

Practical Magic by Alice Hoffman

[devilsskettle]

[devilsskettle]

[spocktheestallion]

Every year Dracula daily revamps interest in the novel and every year I have to be reminded of the utter buffoonery and misogyny that pervades every modern adaptation that romanticizes Dracula and his predation of women in the name of being “subversive” while completely cutting out or sidelining his predation of men (namely Jonathan) because all of a sudden when he’s assaulting and robbing men of their agency it’s not sexy or sympathetic anymore and we can’t include Jonathan (one of the most interesting and unique and ACTUALLY subversive male characters in gothic literature) because he’s not “manly” enough

[spocktheestallion]

And let’s go into this further. Because what also pisses me off is people do this and defend it by claiming it gives the female characters (chiefly Mina) empowerment and agency where they didn’t before. But they DID! That’s the whole thing!!!! They had an astounding degree of agency and respect and happiness BEFORE Dracula came into their lives and robbed them of it.

Lucy lived happily with her loving mother, had her pick of three lovely suitors, was given full freedom to choose whom she would spend her life with and has that decision respected by all the men involved, who all admire and care for her so much that they remain devoted friends to her (and I mean REALLY genuine friends) up to and past the point of her death where they risk their lives to avenge her and put her soul to rest.

Mina is in an unusually healthy, loving, devoted marriage to a man she completely adores, again with a bright future ahead of them both. Jonathan constantly thinks of Mina, compares almost all women against her, and is absolutely utterly in love with her. Mina and Jonathan regularly subvert Victorian expectations of a married couple in that they deeply love and respect one another to the point of flouting “proper” Victorian customs by being affectionate out in public. In fact, the one time Jonathan decides to play the traditional man and ignores Mina’s wishes to leave her at home while he goes hunting vampires w the other men, he is IMMEDIATELY punished by the narrative! Draculas predation of Mina starts that night because she was left behind, and in response Jonathan affirms and reaffirms his total devotion to Mina above the other men for the rest of the story. In the third act of the novel while the team is trying to stop Mina’s slow turn to vampirism, Jonathan not only explicitly tells us the reader through his private journal entires that he will LITERALLY go against god if Mina is turned and damn himself to be by her side in hell rather than kill her if she becomes a vampire, he is unsubtle enough about it that the other men genuinely worry about where Jonathan’s loyalties will lie if they fail in killing Dracula and saving Mina.

So when adaptations pose that either of these women were just your typical trapped, bored, sexually frustrated poor Victorian traditional ladies looking for an out until bad boy Dracula comes to sexually liberate them…. Motherfucker they were ALREADY about as liberated as female characters written by a man in the 1800s could get. Lucy is introduced to us as a young woman flush with bright and happy futures and her pick of the litter for the life she wants to lead until Dracula kills her and takes that from her. Mina marries her childhood sweetheart who literally prioritizes her over God and is building a business with him before Dracula nearly ruins her life permanently.

Not only is claiming that dracula is an agent of the female characters agency just completely antithetical to his role in the original narrative as a blatant serial THEIF of women’s freedom, from the brides to the peasant mother to Lucy to Mina, it’s literally less subversive than the fucking source material

[56kilobits]

i've been obsessed with this video so i downloaded the video file off of youtube so even if the internet goes down i can always watch frogtimelapse.mp4

[s-t-a-r-c-o]

im reading discworld and im on the third book and i only just realized they arent arranged like this

[sunshineface]

Wind Farm 12”x12” acrylic on canvas

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Who wants to hear a DIY tiling pro tip that the experts won't tell you

[hazelriver74]

Yes!

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Do not drop your phone into the bucket of tile adhesive. This step is actually completely unnecessary and massively complicates the tiling process.

[fueles]

You say this but my uncle is a tiler and he swears by the “drop phone in putty bucket” technique. I think you’re just posting this for clout

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Your uncle is caught up in a tradition that he was taught as an apprentice that he never questioned. Modern putty doesn't require phone, the formula has changed.

[perfectly-disfigured]

MY uncle says some customers still demand the phone putty technique because it "doesn't look right otherwise"

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Drop an empty phone case in and those customers can't tell the fucking difference because there is no fucking difference.

[lithiumdoll]

My mum renovated houses for thirty years, she says “you’re half right, but in some cases - particularly in houses built before 1930 - the phone does add some benefit. Could be a tablet too if you’ve an old one in the garage. And anyone who says it’s got to be a particular model is just being precious about it, whatever the forums say.”

[00venator]

IPhones and tablets where invented in 1898, what did they do before then?

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Nothing, tiles were invented in 1899.

[foil-flingza-roller-deactivated]

i think the world is ready to see this one :)

[purplepenguintime]

A very silly zine from tcaf last month

[faggotfungus]

[kickair8p]

So I saw a photo of this hexagon tile floor . . .

The blurb said the shot was taken in Granada, Spain, by Agneta Fondén.  No other info, so I have no idea how old, etc.  There's a game (from 1988) that uses a similar pattern on one of its pieces, but this could predate it by at least a thousand years  — or not.  But the pattern intrigued me, so I made a texture map and used Blender's geometry nodes (no generative AI) to set up a hexagon grid with random rotations for the tiles:

That's all done with a single design:

You'd think this would have a name, right?  (For its historical use as an architectural / decor tile — although I've found out more about its use in games, that's not what I'm looking for.)  Like the Penroses do (and no, it's not one of those).  But I've had no luck finding it, or any other info.  Any (human only, please) help?

Crossposted to Pillowfort and Dreamwidth.

[dianeramic]

Dinovember day 11: Kulindadromeus!