Lies are Just UnTrue Facts

Me shouting at the void. I was there when the deep magic was written.

[cringeunworthy]

I'm gonna get so much mileage out of this one

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

in hindsight, growing up as an aromantic person who didn't know aromanticism was a thing...it woulda been really easy for me to assume that something was wrong with me, that I was "broken" or "missing" some piece of humanity.

luckily I was autistic, oblivious, and had a huge ego. it literally never occurred to me to frame it as a "me" problem. i just thought every single person i knew was a dumbass

[panic-at-the-aromantic]

redstonedust AND biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist are aromantic??? are all the famous tumblrinas aromantic??

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

OKAY LISTEN

[prokopetz]

Something I see getting overlooked a lot when discussing queercoding in historical media is that in many cases it's not evidence that the writers secretly shipped it; it was aimed at straight dudes specifically to freak them out. Depicting a male villain as sexually interested in a male hero reads as horror to the cishet male audience. Like, Venom didn't spend years and years being blatantly characterised as Spider-Man's creepy stalker ex because Marvel's writers were all closeted yaoi fans. That was meant to be scary – which of course doesn't mean you can't read it differently, but don't give them credit they don't deserve!

[grand-theft-carbohydrates]

stop using chatgpt!!!! take a bronze pin and carve your questions onto an ox scapula, then toss it into the fire!!!! use the cracks to divine the gods answer!!!!

[grand-theft-carbohydrates]

citations still have to be APA 7th edition though. if you plagiarise, the gods will flood the yellow river again. and you'll lose your academic standing.

[dkpsyhog]

(The Gods, personal communication, July 18, 2024)

[orpheuslament]

no one talks about how straight up painful it is to be the bigger person when deep in your soul you just want to be a huge bitch about it

[fieldexplores]

Never Learned - Gator Days

[twenty-fourth-order-simulacra]

...the alt text?

[fairycosmos]

getting older is funny because characters you used to look up to and see as very established and grown up people are like 29

[grrlterrier]

One of my favourite customer interactions

[as-if-and-only-if]

you serve the drink, they take a sip. it ticks down to 98% and they whisper “oh thank god”

[hmione]

Julia Stiles as Kat Stratford 10 Things I Hate About You (1999) | dir. Gil Junger

[g75bxcjh]

i somehow found my way to the “what did the drunkest person at the party last night do?” thread

[kitscheldritchhorror]

atfumbel

There were a few singles at my New Year’s Eve party. They were joking about just all kissing each other when my buddy offers to kiss all of them. When asked how he’s going to accomplish it he manages to slur out the words “Midnight is a whole minute and I’m a slut”

hozzay

We asked our friend how drunk he was, he responded, “twice.”

Bill_puss

My friend has a recording of me sulking over a girl years ago and I said, “I’m gonna kill myself in half”

jcstarbright

Someone stole my friends front door, just ripped if off the hinges and ran down the street

iekiko89

If they can do that with their bare hands it’s probably best to just let them keep it.

jcstarbright

That’s what I figured… like.. Merry Christmas to you bud.. enjoy your door

digitalhate

He’s getting himself a house, one piece at a time.

Superfuzz-BigMuff

The host got belligerently drunk, forgot who he’d shook hands with/talked to, and spent the rest of the night making rounds shaking everyone’s hand at least half a dozen times berore passing out.

Juste421

You call that belligerent?

Superfuzz-BigMuff

Well he was belligerently friendly.

miss_adventure26

Must be Canadian

Biggest_Willy

A guy kept feeding the bathtub fire until the tv ten feet away melted so that.

bman86

bathtub fire

Cobbleking32486

You know, the traditional New Year’s bathtub fire.

DipIntoTheBrocean

This guy just drops the phrase like it’s self-explanatory and common.

[ramavoite]

Puppet History: History Contingency Tapes - “The Professor Answers YOUR Questions!”

[creekfiend]

Having seen some births now i can say that dog birth is amazing cos they just slip n slide out one after the other like a little conveyor belt. And theyre so little and unformed. And then UNGULATE BIRTHS ... are amazing for the opposite reason which is that 10mins after being born they are filing their taxes. Unless they are goats, in which case they are committing tax fraud instead

[creekfiend]

Goats are what is called a precocial species, which means that shortly after birth they are able to do many thimgs on their own, such as standing, walking, eating, and embezzlement

[naidje]

[tijdvoormemes]

Danku lesbiennes!

[gumy-shark]

oh, no, you misunderstand me. those were my monkeys. yeah the circus and i have since parted ways. yeah it was the elephant thing, i dont really want to address that right now though

[lightweightkate]

I’ve been cackling about this for like five minutes now

[uncharacter-istically]

[Video caption:

O-okay, let’s get into this, shall we?

*grumbling* Would you rather work for Lex Luthor or the Joker- *shouting* Lex Luthor, by like, a fucking mile!

Yes, yes, working for Lex Luthor is basically like being an Amazon employee that makes weapons of mass destruction, which is bad. Lex is like Donald Trump mixed with Mark Zuckerberg mixed with Jeffrey fucking Bezos, it’s not a great mix. He does not treat his henchmen well. Their lives still suck, and they are probably monitored on how long they take piss breaks for.

But let’s analyze what working for Lex Luthor is like versus the fucking Joker. With Lex you probably get a dental plan, a health plan, a paycheck, and the guy that you’re fighting really cares about human life. Superman will hit you just long enough to knock you out, so you’re not a treat, so he can stop the problem.

If you work for the Joker, your payment is you’re not fucking dead. You say one wrong thing? Bang. You don’t laugh at his jokes? Bang! You do laugh at his jokes? Bang! You think Joker gives a fuck about a henchman?

Who’s Lex Luthor’s right-hand-man? It’s a woman, you sexist, her name is Mercy, she’s awesome. Who’s Joker’s right-hand-man? Bob? Nah, he’s dead. Harley? Tried to kill her multiple times. Slappy? Who the fuck is Slappy?

The best case scenario of working for the Joker is that you fight the fucking Batman! And that presents its own fucking list of problems. If you stop Superman as a Lex Luthor henchman, Lex’ll be pissed, but he’ll be at least happy that Superman was caught. If you stop Batman as a Joker henchman, you better have a fucking coffin picked out yesterday.

This isn’t a fun hypothetical question, this is a screening technique that the doctors at Arkham use to determine your mental health! There is a right and a wrong answer to this question, and the correct one is Lex fucking Luthor. Thank you for coming to my fucking Ted Talk, have a nice day.

End caption.]

[loveitorreblogit]

Bitch neither I work for Wayne Industries, they got better offers than work these clowns:

[gandalfsbignaturals]

batmans secret special attack is offering all of his enemys henchmen a living wage and guaranteed healthcare

[east-south]

maybe they don't like being called names. have you ever thought about that

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

#if they don't like being called bin chickens then they should stay out of the bins

I'm sure they would LOVE to do that but unfortunately we turned their habitats into cities and farms so now they gotta look for other places where their long beaks specialised to dip into muck and water looking for tasty crustaceans can be put to use finding them food.

[lokihiddleston]

KIKI'S DELIVERY SERVICE (1989)