Cantaloupe Rinds

In the beginning the Universe was created. This had made many people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move. - The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

[taquito]

the 3 bosses u fight before being able to enter the shaving cream aisle

[mechanicalriddle]

final boss

[bozers]

FIGHT

[monsterhunter439-deactivated202]

[elbryaaan]

[nickoraus]

Oh, another game with a nude mo-

[kickmuncher3]

i’m sick and tired of people pretending that burger isn’t delicious just to clown on americans. america deserves the ridicule, but why’s burger catching strays? burger did nothing wrong

[cheaphalloweencostume]

not to be insensitive but some of the salem witch trials were so funny bitches like “i saw her at the devils sacrament!!!” girl... what were YOU doing at the devils sacrament 👀

[cheaphalloweencostume]

WHERE ARE THEY NOW: This Post

in the years since its publication, the “Devil’s Sacrament” post has taken on a life of its own, becoming a part of tumblr vernacular and even extending outside the sphere of social media in minute amounts.

the salem witch trials have since become a sensation, being referenced by authors, musicians, and artists alike, with many believing it to be factual events.

tumblr user beetledrink was found dead and gay in a clown nightclub in 2006

[transhuman-priestess]

Having to explain to way too many people that no, Iran doesn’t have nuclear weapons.

[transhuman-priestess]

“How do you know they’re not hiding them?”

Do you have any idea the infrastructure required to just build a bomb, let alone test it? We’re talking about thousands of workers, hundreds of acres of facilities, just for fuel production alone.

Construction of specialized plants for assembly and subcritical experimentation.

Not to mention the actual testing of a device. No military in the world will willingly use a weapon that has not been tested in the real world. Computer simulations still aren’t able to accurately render what happens inside of a nuclear weapon at the moment of detonation.

Accurately measuring the yield (explosive power) of a nuclear weapon requires detonation, and extensive instrumentation. The setup of such a test is large and distinctive enough that it can be detected via satellite and aerial photography of test sites, as happened in 1977 in South Africa. The USSR got wind of a pending test and informed the US (yes, really), who overflew the site with an SR-71, and told South Africa to knock it the fuck off.

Iran is probably the most surveiled country in the world besides North Korea. They don’t have nukes.

Israel does, though, and Israel scares me.

[transhuman-priestess]

*sigh* bringing this back

[bucketofcrows]

first base is ripping each other's throats out second base is fucking and then pretending it didn't happen after it's over. third base is falling unconscious from blood loss in the other's arms

[bucketofcrows]

fourth base is talking about your feelings

[joldfish]

[toxictiktoks]

[gregorianchantss]

why is this like high key lynchian like it could’ve been a scene from mulholland drive

[juuliaroberts]

This passes the bechdel test

[5weekdays]

my mom was trying to chew through some really tough steak and she turned to me and said “just call me The Gnawer.” she would do numbers here

[5weekdays]

[5weekdays]

she told me she doesn't remember saying this. quote, "must have been steak-induced hysteria"

[5weekdays]

happy mother's day to this crazy broad

[jugandoconsangre]

A guy laughs at my joke

Me:

[nflstreet]

What if a white boy was quirky

[pissvortex]

[i-am-a-fish]

put me in the 1 inch x 1 inch x 1 inch box coach!!! I'm all fired up, I'm ready!!!!!

[olisa-iwannasleep]

Fish. How big are you fish. Will you fit into 1 inch x 1 inch x 1 inch box fish.

[i-am-a-fish]

it doesn't matter, I can handle it !!!!! I'm ready!!!!!!!

[m-p-lebrush]

Let's get you in the box, fish. It might be a squeeze but I'm sure you can manage.

[i-am-a-fish]

it's everything that I've ever wanted

[twelve-crows-deactivated2025120]

i know your secret

[i-am-a-fish]

DID YOU JUST LEAK MY DIMENSIONS?????

[longshrimp]

doxxed

[angrycurls]

boxed

[feefal]

My body is already an inhospitable environment, there’s no way a friggin baby would be able to survive in it

[feefal]

Also babies can’t even fight, how would they fare in battle against my inner demons?

[rokarambles]

[conkreetmonkey]

sand tiger sharks

[inbabylontheywept]

on it, boss lady

[inbabylontheywept]

one smooth shark, coming up

[star-mom-selkie]

[cryptotheism]

Listen, if you want to understand how emanations work, it's like this:

If you're an infinite thing like God, and you want to become a finite thing like the world, how do you go from infinite to finite? Answer: emanation.

You know when youre at a wedding, and there's a big pyramid of wine glasses? And they fill the wine glasses by pouring champagne into the top, so it overflows and then fills all the glasses beneath it? Imagine the wine bottle is infinite. That's God.

Each of the glasses is called a hypostasis. God can emanate through many hypostases to reach it's final emanation.

As for how many hypostases there are, and how they're arranged, that's the tricky one. Every religion has a different answer, and it's never simple.

[cryptotheism]

I GET NO RESPECT ON THIS DAMN WEB SITE

[officialspec]

rips my shirt open to reveal a second shirt underneath that says I ❤️ STICKING MY FINGERS IN THE OPEN WOUND OF CATHARTIC RELEASE

[officialspec]

rips open that shirt to reveal a third, other shirt that says ITS ONLY PARTIALLY A SEX THING

[officialspec]

[antrunner]

my wife and i like to torture each other when we lay down for bed at night by tickling or poking each other. as a deterrent we’ve created an entity called “The Bird” which will attack you as a way to show we’re no longer comfortable with whatevers happening. we’ll say “The Bird is coming” or “The Bird is going to get you” instead of “hey stop doing that” then we peck each other with our hands. here’s a visual to help

[puppetdaily]

the daily puppet is The Bird, from Bedtime

[theodysseyofhomer]

odysseus absolutely does present a threat to penelope if he perceives her as at all unfaithful, and i feel the unfairness of this, and i think people tend to undersell how much tension at least potentially exists between odysseus and penelope. but i'm also like. his reaction, all speculation aside, his actual reaction in the odyssey to her flirting with the suitors is delight, because he immediately ascertains that she is running a con. sorry that they're so in-sync in spite of the forces that try to drive a wedge between them, including their own misgiving hearts. sorry that they invented homophrosyne ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[strinak]

oh, you meant they literally did, ok

[theodysseyofhomer]

would i, tumblr user thee odysseyofhomer, lie to you?

[polyphemusthecylcops]

...

[theodysseyofhomer]

this is the only funny addition to this post