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@willowwyvern
traditional chinese handicraft, ink making ć¶ćąš by ćœäŒ æpcm
Watching twilight on a poorly hung projector. (x)
i couldnât fucking resist
According to Know Your Meme, on August 18th, 2005, Erwin Beekveld brought forth this work into the world. HAPPY TEN YEAR ANNIVERSARY, THEYâRE TAKING THE HOBBITS TO ISENGARD.
sheds a single tear
every august 18th my notifications break and i go, fuck, tumblr has failed me once again, but it hasnât. it hasnât failed me. itâs just the taking the hobbits to isengard-iversary. happy 12 years
a very important holiday amongst my people
FIFTEEN YEARS BABY
SIXTEEN YEEEEEEARS!!!!
Ooh ooh ooh! This looks like an excellent excuse valid reason to talk about one of my favorite topics, matriarch trees!
So, when you see trees in a forest, they stick up outta the ground, some distance from each other, and you're like 'these are unconnected critters,' right? But! The thing is! Just like the trees in the picture are connected above-ground, trees in a forest are normally connected below-ground. There's this whole complicated thing involving a symbiotic relationship with fungi, but we're gonna simplify it to this: trees connect to each other through their root systems.
And they use it to share resources, across the whole forest.
If there's a tree over here growing in soil with a lot of, like, potassium, they'll pull up more potassium than they need, and send it out through the root system to other trees that are living where there isn't much potassium.
And one of the coolest things? Trees communicate their needs. If a tree is sick or damaged or starving, they send chemical messages out through the root system that tell the other trees to send them more food and tree-equivalent-of-immune-system.
Trees will share so much of their resources, they'll even keep trees alive that are almost entirely dependent. Like this tree! The tree above is getting some energy from its leaves, but no other nutrition of its own. And it wasn't able to link up to the shared root system. So the other tree reached out and hooked up to it directly, feeding it all of the nutrients it needed!
You see it more commonly the other way around: in an old-growth forest, where the roots are well-established, you can find stumps where a tree was cut down a century ago... but if you scrape the stump it's still green wood. The tree's still alive, without a single leaf. Because all the other trees in the forest are feeding it.
I promised to talk about matriarch trees, so here's where we get to them.
In a very old forest, you have very old trees. You have some trees that are so very, very old, their own roots cover entire regions of the forest. Their leaves reach up to the sky over everyone else. And after so long, they've developed to where they can take in way more resources than they need.
So what do they do?
They feed baby trees.
Baby saplings in an old forest can't reach up to the sun. There's no light down there. And their roots are too small and shallow to dig down to the nutrients they need. So the matriarch tree will draw energy from its towering canopy, and nutrients from its massive, ancient roots, and feed them to the little trees that are too small to feed themselves. For anything she can't get on her own, she'll act as a central hub, taking in spare resources from the rest of the forest and giving them to the little ones.
And one of the best parts - she won't just do it for her own species. She'll connect to all kinds of trees, because they're all necessary for the ecosystem to work. She'll adopt the whole forest's children.
Sometimes in forests you'll find a spot where there are a lot of small trees in an open space around an old, fallen tree. People generally assume they could find more light there, or maybe the soil's more fertile from the decomposition.
But no.
They're her children, and she's spent centuries keeping the whole forest alive.
@mycroftrh
My mum is an avid tree lover and when I told her what you wrote she practically melted and told me to thank you for teaching her :)
I worked with toddlers and pre schoolers for three years. Sometimes I accidentally slip and tell a friend to say bye to an inanimate object (âsay bye bus!â) & occasionally they unthinkingly just do it.
Iâm glad thereâs a teacher version of âaccidentally called teacher âmomââ
when I worked at Medieval Times occasionally I would slip in real life and call people âmy lordâ
One time during family prayer, dad began: âour father who art in heaven, American Airlines, how can I help you?â
One time my dad went to the White Castle drive-thru and the lady (who was supposed to say âWelcome to White Castle, whatâs your crave?â) asked, âWelcome to White Castle, whatâs your problem?â
She apologized profusely while my dad proceeded to lose his shit laughing.
Yesterday I went to Wendyâs and the girl said âWelcome to McDonaldsâ and then just sighed
Somebody in the elevator asked me what floor I lived on, and I answered âplease open your books to page eightâ, and we just kind of stared at each other, blinking.
i work retail full time and my script gets frequently messy - ill ask the same question twice, or say â$2.60 is your totalâ while handing back their change, or say âhow are you doing today?â instead of âhave a good day!â like name it ive bungled it
but anyway, this lady came thru my line buying a book and the review on the front said: âfew books are well written, fewer still are important, and this book manages to be bothâ
as i handed her the bag i was trying to say âthanks, youre all setâ and instead my brain mashed up the review and i said âthanks, youre importantâ
there was this short pause in which i tried to figure out what the fuck id just said. she blinked and then said âoh thank you! youre important too!â
the real kicker was one of my coworkers. when i was relating this story later his response was âat least you said something NICE. last week i accidentally combined âyoure welcomeâ and âno problemâ into âyoure a problemââ
one time, since I used to work as a daycare teacher with preschoolers, i was on my college campus in my gym, and someone was running in the weight room and tripped over a machine and fell, and instead of offering to help, I just stared and said, âThis is why we use our walking feet.â we both sat there for a while until the guy nodded and said, âyeah, okay, i shouldâve done that.â
Iâve spent a good chunk of time working in kitchens, so I still will reflexively say shit like âbehindâ and âcoming aroundâ as I maneuver through spaces and around people.
Which, actually, not such a bad thing; Iâm a big guy and can come across as imposing pretty easily. The position calls can help defuse that, and also help avoid collisions.
Less good is the time my brain was half functional and I let slip a âcoming with a knifeâ while grocery shopping. THAT took some explaining.
I work in an office and send tens of emails to customers every day. Once my mum asked me to send her a train ticket I had bought for her. I emailed her âHello mum, as agreed, please find attached the ticked you requested. Thanks, Alexâ
i worked as a camp counselor, and i would have the kids tap somewhere on my legs if they needed something because im a pretty tall dude. today asked my cat if he needed something.
I have woken up in a cold sweat saying âis that for here or to go?â
Every time a friend thanks me, and I respond with âgladlyâ or âmy pleasureâ, I die completely 1000% inside
I work at a plasma donation center. When processing donors, we call them by name, they walk up to the counter, and then we ask for their name and donor number. One time, instead of saying âRobertâ I hollered âName and donor number!?â into a full waiting room. Three people started announcing their names and donor numbers before we all realized that I fucked up.
In college, I was a barista at Borders (remember Borders, you guys?!) I once drove through Taco Bell on my way home after a shift. When the cashier said, âokay, thatâll be $5.46!â I cheerfully responded, âDo you have a Borders rewards card?â
I have dealt with so many difficult customers over the years that I used to angrily call my dog âSirâ when I was mad at him.
My first job was at my nearest Panera, and after coming home from a ten-hour Sunday morning shift, I was exhausted; but when my mom called me to come downstairs, instead of replying in the grumpy teenagerish tone I usually would, I said in my cheeriest, fakest voice, âNot a problem at all, let me just check with my manager!â before realizing my mistake.
my coworker went to back up the cash registers one time and she had been at customer service right before. when we finish with a customer we have to sometimes get the attention of the next person and will shout âi can get the next person in line!â but instead of saying that she yelled âHI WHAT CAN I HELP YOU WITHâ to everyone in the general area
I have told my dog âno thank youâ so many times after working at a preschool
a couple of times iâve gotten stuck in a hello how are you good how are you good how are you loop with an equally tired Fred Meyerâs cashier after a long shift but the best time was after a 10 to 10 post-holidays after they told me my total, I asked if they would like a bag today and after a confused few seconds they were like, âno⊠I have the bagsâ
Worked in a gallery where we asked people to take off their backpacks in order not to accidentally damage paintings. So when I went to the shop later and saw a guy in the line in front of me, I told him he had to remove his backpack. He probably thought I was politely trying to rob him.
The other day they had me working with softserve and fried dough. I was burned out because I kept bouncing back and forth between the fryer and my register and these people had like, 8 things in their order. We get to the ice cream part of the order, and it comes in a bowl or cone. Instead of saying âWould you like the vanilla in a bowl or cone?â I said âWould you like the bowl in a vanilla or cone?â And we all stopped and had to think that through as my cart runner is staring me down like âtf are you doing?â
I work at Hardees and we have to yell âthank youâ whenever weâre told to do something because of how loud the kitchen is.
One morning, my mom hollered at me to wake up, and half-asleep me yells at full volume,
âTHANK YOUâ
i work with dogs, and i have to be a bit strict with them sometimes in order to keep fights from breaking out. recently, while making tea, the kettle started boiling sooner than i wanted, so without thinking i turned around sharply, pointed my finger at it and stared it down, and said, âBad boy! You need to wait!â needless to say i was very glad i was alone
I know Iâve reblogged this a billion times but Iâve worked retail for 8 years and these things are never not funny.
I work with horses and whenever someoneâs driving too fast Iâll say stuff like âwhoaâ and Iâve tried to click to a car because thatâs a cue for a horse to go faster.
every time i go to order food at a counter my brain always wants to answer with my customer service phone greeting, I just open my mouth and it comes out
and lemme tell you there is nothing like being in a mcdonaldâs and responding to âcan i take your order?â with âAUTO GLASS, THIS IS JESSICAâ
@deadcatwithaflamethrower have some funny :)
The human brain on autopilot makes for some of the funniest shit ever.
THIS IS MY FAVORITE POST EVER
With the Unus Annus channel being deleted today, I had to make something to commemorate the memories I will come to cherish. I can't believe this year has gone by so quickly. I wish I had spent my time more wisely, but I have to deal with the choices I've made. Even this drawing was made at the last minute, as many things in my life are. Unus Annus has opened my eyes to how short life is. We need to take every chance we get to live to the fullest and experience new things, making friends along the way. Mark and Ethan are the biggest goofs and they were the only people who could do something like this. I'm very proud of what they have created and have accomplished. I'm super sad it's over, but I'm so happy it happened. I love these two and I can't wait to see what they will do in the future! Memento mori. â Unus Annus. đ #unusannus #unusannusfanart #unusannusart #mementomori #drawing #inkdrawing https://www.instagram.com/p/CHjdq4TBFCg/?igshid=1ijpzcb2yzxry
âIt is so much safer not to feel, not to let the world touch me.â
â Sylvia Plath (via quotemadness)
The Addams Family renting out rooms in their huge mansion cheaply to broke college students.
The students digging it because the craziness and the bugs are pretty much the same as any other dorm house. Also, Morticia and Gomez treat them all like visiting cousins, not like tenants to abuse and exploit.Â
One of the tenants is a creative writing major and Gomez and Morticia house them up in the tower because of the quiet and the inspiring view
Theyâre supposed to be working on a typical coming-of-age story but after living with the Addams for just a week the project is becoming a horror-Gothic-romance
They go to their room after classes one day and find Thing correcting the grammar errors in the manuscript with a red penÂ
and yeah, the students pay roughly market value for their rooms, but that doesnât stop gomez from shouting âcapital idea!â and handing them wads of cash when they tell him about their weekend plans or what theyâre researching, so they basically end up living there for free
In the same vein, half the them have to turn into exceptional fencers, because Gomez just doesnât give a shit, and if he sees you in the library, its fucking Sword Fighting Time.Â
Fester and Pugsley find out one of the college students is trying to get into chemistry and woo boy, there has never been a faster study of how to counter various acidic chemical reactions due to âwaterâ balloons in campus history.Â
Morticia and Grammy are keeping the horticulturalists on their toes with their Black Tulip/Rose hybrids, which can flick their barbs a foot away from their stem system. But itâs fine, one of the kids has managed to breed Aloe with the anti venom.Â
Lurch makes sandwiches for everyone whoâs too much of a coward for Grammyâs cooking. Any music major will find him looming over them, utterly stone faced as they practise until they finish, when heâll smile, and slowly applaud.Â
And the spookiest thing of all
Wednesday and Thing will find your thesis. They will critique it in every way imaginable.Â
There is no escape.Â
I especially love the idea of Gomez spotting a student in the library, throwing a sword at a startled student, shouting, âEn garde!â and lunging at him/her with a sword of his own.
Student (later in life), when asked how she jumps from quietly doing research to handling a sudden influx of ER cases so quickly and easily, says, âWhen you have to snap out of deep concentration on biochem to fight for your life then get back to biochem without losing your train of thoughtâŠyou learn or you die.â
This has made me laugh so hard-
You learn or you die!
im very grateful for the lessons in photography i was taught in stop motion class because just now they made it possible to photograph the stars with my phone in spite of the camera usually not detecting the light of stars because theyre so dim,,,, enjoy these shiny motherfuckers
ok so if everythings normal, your phone camera should have a manual mode (sometimes called pro mode). in it, change the settings of the shutter lag to 20 seconds, then put the phone down on some stable, plane surface and press the photo button (usually when using your camera, the volume buttons can be used as photo button) and let the phone still for the whole 20 seconds.Â
(basically the problem with most cameras is that they dont have a very good light sensitivity in the dark, however that doesnt mean they cant detect it at all. the longer the shutter is open, the more light your camera takes in and the more burnt/light your pic will be, so in (literally) dark situations, make the shutter lag longer to get all that light you need! also i said 20 seconds but really you can make it shorter or longer depending on what kinda stuff you want for your stars)
Yes this!
Additionally, adjust your ISO to the highest number (mimics the film used for very low light and low speed images)
And set your shutter speed to the longest time possible (on my phone itâs 10 seconds).
Leave your focus settings on Auto, and if your phone camera has a timer option, turn that on (five seconds is generally enough).
Plan your shot first, then find a place to set your phone down so you can get the image you want. The less light pollution, the better; youâll pick up FAR more stars in your picture.
Once you know what you want to shoot, tap your screen to âfocusâ it, then hit the button to take the picture, set your phone down, and back away from the âtripodâ. Donât touch your phone for a good 15 seconds, just to be sure.
You will not be disappointed in the results, let me assure you.
Not even a little bit.
@tamberland
THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IâVE EVER LEARNED
when people ask where you see yourself in 10 years
JUMPING ON THIS OPPORTUNITY
@rangergirl3 đ
Owner fell asleep with her phone in her hand and the lights on again.
âyouâre an art model does that mean youâre NAKED?â âyeahâ âwhoaâŠ.those lucky artists ;)â
âŠbuddy.
idk who started the idea that life drawing classes have anything sexy going on like. thereâs at least ten people in the room and weâre all tired and covered in charcoal.
the dude in front whoâs staring at my boobs has been trying to get the shading right for 10 minutes. heâs almost out of paint. he is crying.
#this ainât some avant-garde titanic poly romance itâs a bunch of individual sinking ships and one uncaring human-shaped ice burg
The ice burg being frozen solid because there are NEVER ENOUGH SPACE HEATERS.
I was an artistâs model in uni since it paid better than any other student work position. Did a life drawing class one semester, despite it being an unheated old building in the winter evenings, because the instructor was a decent fellow who always had extra space heaters. So there I am one evening, exhausted from my teamâs afternoon practice, but Iâm in a comfortable position on a padded stool, ready to hold the position for like fifteen minutes. Space heaters all around me, spotlights on me to get shadows in interesting places.
Beyond the red glow of the heaters and the hot-white of the spotlights, the massive drafty room is dark and quiet, broken only by the instructorâs whispers and the scratch of charcoal on paper. Me, Iâm just dozing, âcause my ancient dorm was heated with creaky old steampipes that never really got warm, and with the new extra-powered space heater alongside the others, that night was the warmest Iâd been in a month. I dozed, basking in the glorious warmth.
And then I fell asleep.
And then I fell off the stool.
I woke up rather abruptly on the cold wooden platform, and looked up to see an entire ring of terrified and worried faces around me. Everyone had their hands up, ready to help me up, except no one had touched me. Naked chick laid out face-down on the floor, and all the men and women were suddenly acutely aware they couldnât just grab a half-asleep dazed naked chick.
Fortunately someone had the bright idea to tear the sheet down from the backdrop, lay it over me as a wrap, and then everyone was quick to help me up.
After that, the instructor and students got used to taking turns talking to me, just to make sure I wasnât dozing off. Which was weird, at first, because Iâd done two semesters just being a silent prop, and now I was interacting. It gave the class a vibe completely unlike any other Iâd modeled for, and it ended up one of my favorite modeling experiences.Â
postscript: months later, walking on campus with someone whoâd eventually become my spouse, we passed some guys on the main path. One of them stopped, peered at me, and then said hello, excitedly, saying, âsorry, I didnât recognize you, Iâve never seen you with your clothes on!â
This is honestly so delightful and accurateÂ
every night as i fumble to plug my phone into its charger i think of how bbc sherlock holmes would classify me as an alcoholic
Itâs almost the 4th of July donât forget to salute Americaâs Ass!!!!!
This is the only 4th of July post I will be reblogging this year.
so a million years ago, @shallura commissioned me for a â you guessed it â shallura piece, and it evolved into this gif-thing combined with a more-detailed-frame-thing. Sheâs very patiently waited through me saying âitâs not good enough / it needs more workâ about a hundred times, until right now when I finally feel somewhat satisfied with everything so⊠thank you, rachel!!! & congrats to you and your beautiful otp :)