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@wingedcroissant
I would like to be pet every single day and have all my financial needs covered forever
So you’re just a bottom
I'll top if that's what it takes
One of my favorite genres of post
I have these saved in a folder called "wrong picture, Kronk"
a billionaire can never be held accountable, therefore a billionaire must never make a management decision
tiktok: christinajulian_91
audio credit: anthony vincent
That was not the audio I was expecting
i have to reblog this everytime i see it, its too good of a video
so i made a potpourri with cinnamon and nutmeg and ginger and cloves and orange peel and anise and i have boiled it all day and it smelled so nice i took a sip and the sip was actually wonderful so now i have drunk four cups of potpourri juice and i am only now going to the internet to ask if i am going to Experience The Torments. or if i may have a fifth.
(i cannot quite explain it, but it’s like my entire low i have had a low grade stomachache, and normally i just deal but This Juice helps a little. i am unreasonably fond of it.)
"I just made herbal tea is it safe to drink" is the most mormon-raised shit I have ever seen.
Fr tho u should be fine, it's normal to enjoy tea, and it doesn't generally lead to The Torments, barring some kind of allergy
😔 highly specific and accurate roast
Kung fu panda 1:
there is no secret ingredient, to make something special you just have to believe it's special. - Mr. Ping
One always meets his destiny on the road he takes to avoid it - oogway
Kung fu panda 2:
you gotta let go of the stuff from the past cause it just doesn't matter, the only thing that matters is what you choose to be now. - po
The most important time is now - soothsayer
Kung fu panda 3:
if you only do what you can do, you'll never be better than what you are. - shifu
The more you take the less you have - oogway
Your real strength comes from being the best “you” you can be. So who are you? What are you good at? What do you love? What makes you, “you”? - po
Kung fu panda 4:
Kick butt take names
cant stop thinking about this video
For context this was in response to someone saying their cybertruck was heavy duty
oh no no NO no no I am sorry my dear @thebirdtm you are NOT underselling one of the most seminal pieces of television of my entire childhood like that on MY watch.
"How is claiming they drowned a Hilux possibly underselling it" GREAT question.
To start with a little disclaimer, Top Gear's Hilux did not start off, as in the video above, in pristine condition. It started off with nigh-on 300k kms (for you yankees, that's about 8.4 million Boeing 737 wingspans) and a condition to match.
And it's only once careless driving around town yielded zilch in given shits...
(look, I found a local newspaper picturing it being driven around!)
...that they decided to drown it. Now, the underselling part: if you told me that they drowned a pickup the first place my mind would go to would be "driving it through a river a bit too deep for it, perhaps as deep as its height, until it stalls and then tugging it back out. You will concede that's rather different from tying it down on the seashore with the second highest tide in the world...
...and leaving it there until it engulfs the whole truck...
...only for the ropes to snap...
...and for the truck to be lost to the tides for FIVE HOURS.
(and for those wondering, yes, just as promised, well within an hour and the mandatory limits of basic tools and no spare parts, up the mechanic made the thing fire and away the presenter drove it - I must imagine doing a number on his clothes in the process.)
Oh also I would have mentioned the caravan.
Or at least the wrecking ball.
But hey, at least the fire was mentioned.
Still, I feel it's criminal to leave out how they celebrated it surviving all it did: by parking it at the top of a 23 story building for all to see! :)
Wait NO-
Well, that was uncalled for. Given what it survived, it deserved to rest in a museum instead of being unceremoniously cleared out with the other chunks of public housing that buried it.
Or at least, given that buried it wasn't...
...to be tumbled down from the rubble utop which it sat...
...and be fueled up.
"be fueled up", pfft, what for?, I hear you say. And you are right.
Look at that thing, you say.
Let's be serious now, however pretty of a story it would be that's not a truck that will do anything remotely in the ballpark of firing up, let alone running.
And again, you are right.
The battery was disconnected.
Sorted that, tho
"You can't be serious." Oh darling I sure can! "Well the presenters can't then" no no, I assure you, it lived. Go see it for yourself! It's at the National Motor Museum in Beaulieau, England!
I grew up watching Top Gear and it shaped me in many ways. My adoration of old Toyota Hiluxes is one of them.
The Toyota Hilux is absolutely the small god of endurance and defiance (and possibly masochism).
yes I'm reposting about a small god truck are you kidding me
'was the grink there?' energy
People these days just posting inside jokes inside the whole damn internet
DIFFERENCES BETWEEN BOOK!DANY AND SHOW!DANY— Dany and Hizdahr's conversation at Daznak's Pit
TL;DR: the show-only scene makes Dany seem misguided and potentially dangerous and tries to cast doubt on her moral compass, while the book-only scene written by George R. R. Martin showcases Dany's persistent effort to protect the ones who can't protect themselves.
On HBO: the writers created an entirely original scene in order to paint Dany as someone potentially willing to use indiscriminate violence to achieve her goals, while Hizdahr is portrayed as the more cautious figure who defends the tradition of the fighting pits for the sake of Meereen's cultural identity and continuity.
In the books: Dany is shown to be empathetic and protective of the marginalized. She imposes strict conditions to ensure that only willing participants fight in the pits and immediately steps in to stop the needless deaths of (unbeknownst to her) Tyrion and Penny. Meanwhile, Hizdahr shows no regard for the dwarfs' consent or well-being. His attempt to circumvent Dany's anti-slavery measures in order to force two vulnerable and unwilling slaves to fight against lions serves as a critique of the Ghiscari nobles, who readily perpetuate cruelty and oppression for the sake of their entertainment.
It's called anxiety??
—BECAUSE KUNG FU PANDA 4 KILLED MY GRANDMA, OKAY?
To preface, I watched this movie and I'm genuinely tweaking right now so I had to write down a very brief (lie) criticism on this film — which you should boycott, by the way.
Starting with the things I liked, before briefing my primary points of criticism:
Po's Character Regression
Po and Zhen's Dynamic
The Chameleon
I'd also yap about Lord Shen and the death of the art style and the entire narrative and pacing and use of the staff of wisdom but my therapist says being such a hater is 'unhealthy' or something. My heart is full of hatred.
SPOILERS for the entirety KFP4 for the 2 people who care.
KFP4 undermines and ignores the previous three movies — Unwriting character developments, outright removing the Furious Five, straying from the character design philosophies and is completely inconsistent with the established lore.
Things I Liked About Kung Fu Panda 4
The Chameleon's character design
Visual gag in the Tavern where Po uses a recently thrown axe as a hat rack (made me laugh)
When Mr. Ping did this:
so cute! the little heart!
Po — Character Writing
Po, as established in the previous movies, is confident in his abilities and identity — he’s learnt inner peace, he’s matured as a character. However, in KFP4, his character has completely regressed. He’s immature again (such as KFP1, possibly worse) and says verbatim, “only knows kicking butt and taking names” — UNLEARNING inner peace and insisting that “…being the Dragon Warrior is all I know.”
It’s childish, and sort of Hotel Transylvania-esque.
Which isn’t helped by the comedy, the dialogue — a large chunk of which are jokes in the style of:
Master Shifu says something philosophical
Po quips off of it / doesn’t get it (i.e. Whoa!! beat I don’t know what that means.)
Oh, it’s great, yeah, very tolerable. Po’s shenanigans are normally reeled in by the presence of the Furious Five who are generally more serious in nature, creating a much needed balance in the dynamic — So without them, it’s just Po becoming increasingly obnoxious and insufferable with every consecutive quip throughout the screenplay.
Po and Zhen — Character Dynamics
[No more graphics sorry I'm too angry]
As if it wasn’t obvious that Zhen was going to be the next Dragon Warrior the second she was introduced.
Zhen, as a character, has no depth besides being a quippy thief. She quips, she steals. This character has no motives — it can be assumed that the writers intended on a ‘change of heart’ thing, but she isn’t established as evil, her working for the Chameleon is written as a (albeit poor) twist reveal.
By which point, her taking either side wouldn’t make sense, given that she has shown no loyalty or attachment to either Po nor the Chameleon.
The movie artificially strengthens their bond by having Zhen start opening up about her backstory out of nowhere for no reason but they have done nothing to grow closer to each other.
Small tangent, her backstory is exactly what you’d expect it to be with no subversions or even emotional weight. Woe is me I was so small and hungry I had to steal to survive. Glossed over in about a minute.
The majority of the dialogue between Zhen and Po is spoken exposition — explaining how powerful and badass the Chameleon is, explaining how ‘we have to go here to do that’ and ‘this place was cool until the Chameleon did such and such’, and the rest of their time together is spent engaging in filler chase sequences and fight scenes.
The Chameleon
Where do I even start…
This is where it becomes apparent that the movie relies heavily on telling rather than showing —
She is the weakest villain by far, not only in universe but as a written character; which is particularly disheartening because I genuinely adore her character design and feel as though a shapeshifting character has great potential.
The movie artificially inflates her power by insisting through exposition that this is the most capable antagonist thus far (lie).
The audience is TOLD by Zhen and various restaurant patrons that the Chameleon is a powerful shapeshifting sorceress and that she 'dominates the city' whilst the film does nothing to showcase this.
'Dominating the city' meaning letting her henchpeople run amock and bully the civilians just like Lord Shen's wolves in KFP2... uninspired.
I just realised they didn't even give her a NAME what the FUCK is going on
She describes HERSELF as ruthless, clever and unsentimental when comparing Zhen to herself.
She says HERSELF that she’s “Stronger than every opponent you’ve ever faced.”
Let’s see what vile reprehensible things she’s done, shall we?
Gently push someone down some stairs
Her first appearance is through Zhen’s exposition, as opposed to the dramatic and memorable entrances of the previous villains. Her motives or character aren’t established until the final third of the film. She doesn’t even FIGHT anybody until the final third of the film; and even then, her fight sequences are uninspired and she never really poses a real threat. (She goes down in two hits.)
That being said, WE CAN STILL SAVE HER GUYS WE CAN STILL GET HER OUTTA THERE I'M COMING FOR YOU CHAMELEON I'M GONNA DRAFT YOU A PROPER BACKSTORY AND MOTIVE AND YOU'RE GONNA BE THE MOST THREATENING VILLAIN THUS FAR
There's a scene after the climax of the film where all the kung fu masters and previous villains from the spirit realm bow to Po. I'm not going to provide my thoughts on this because I fear I may burst a blood vessel. Good day!
Closing Statements
To put it simply, Kung Fu Panda 4 was my Megamind 2.
The film rejects its predecessors in every way. It really feels as though they brought in somebody with no prior knowledge of the franchise to direct the movie.
It's a film that relies heavily on telling rather than showing — banking on the previous three movies to carry it through the box office.
It's just really disheartening to see studio execs turn one of the best franchises into a safe sequel cash grab and regress every character's development.
Nevertheless. I do adore the chameleon's character design so I might do my own take on her character.
As far as I'm concerned, there is no fairy godmother, there is no tooth fairy, and there is no kung fu panda 4.
Before I read this review, I was trying to make it work somehow, like aw man, it can't be this bad, right?
I was in disbelief when the villains bowed to him, PO WAS IN DISBELIEF, there is no way, maybe they just gave up on life after they died? Did they have time to reflect in the spirit world?
And what what brought them closer? Why did po trust Zhen so much, enough to teach her the staff technique in the middle of hiding? When he was reluctant to even ask for help because she was a thief with no morals. There's no way, and the only way the fast pacing could be explained by saying po knew he was already capable of defeating a small villain like the chameleon, isn't that why he got out of that cage easily at the end? (Then why couldn't he get out the first time?) Cuz he was faking being weak and just wanted to wait till Zhen came around to prove her potential right?
And the character development bit was weird, it's just his personality to be reluctant to change, fine but why did he go and meditate in the first place? What was the reason to go sit under a tree and repeat inner peace? Was it just a comedic scene for the kids? Why did he need inner peace through meditation?
My thoughts throughout the film basically.
go watch Barbie
👀
Double the childhood trauma I love it