shit posts @winningatmonopoly - Tumblr Blog

dispatchesfromtheclasswar

tethered-heartstrings

"stress" by yoan capote - made of bronze and concrete

tethered-heartstrings

scoutsmoocrew

This person needs to be arrested im going to cry

sapper-in-the-wire-old

How do you go through all the effort of setting up a sous vide to do this????

swagforbirds

never tell me that magic isnt real ever again when this is clear evidence of a person transmogrifing Meat into Wood

thyrell

i can transmogrify meat into wood by lookin at pictures of titties if ya get what im sayin

weaselle

hey, we all love tiddies here but this person has perpetrated a crime against nature and we need you stay focused

elcorhamletlive

Not to be a bitch but sometimes people engage with fiction in the most boring way possible, and nowhere is this clearer than in videogames. Like what you mean you hate a character just because they were kind of abrasive when speaking to the player character? "They were mean to me" and it didn't occur to you to wonder why? Like, what might their attitude toward you reveal about the world? About the social dynamics within it? About their own perspectives and backgrounds and personalities? Does it even occur you to ask? Would you only have liked them if they bowed to your presence and talked about how great you are? Like I'm sorry but you're so boring. How boring fiction would be if it cathered to you

primaius

aropride

why is there an upgrade button on gmail. why does twitter want me to scan my palm to get into my account. why is google a chatbot. why does the transit app make a transit app wrapped for me. why does youtube keep shoving its infinitely scrollable shortform content down my throat. why do my doctor and psychiatrist and therapist want to use an ai notetaker during our appointments. why do free trials want my credit card number. why are most scholarship websites just data brokers. how do i make capitalone stop sending me mail. why is my school making its own special chat gpt powered chatbot. why is every third video on instagram an undisclosed ad. why is nothing online real anymore. why is everything so FUCKING STUPID

figglypuff

necrolentil

Goddamit i hate this fucking post. I hate it because obviously if “twelve” followed the same pattern as the other teen numbers it wouldn’t be “twoteen” it would be “seconteen”. Think about it. It’s not “threeteen” it’s “thirteen” as in “third”. It’s not “fiveteen” it’s “fifteen” as in fifth. So with that in mind, you count “first, second, third, fourth, fifth,” and so on, so eleven would be “firsteen” and twelve would be “secondteen” or “seconteen”. “Firsteen, seconteen, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen….” It just drives me absolutely mad everytime i see this post that this obvious pattern was overlooked and i cant hold in my rage anymore.

improper-integral

allsadnshit

"Growing Around Grief"

Lois Tonkin, 1996

byjove

ages 0-7: slowly gain sentience

ages 7-12: be an ‘old soul’

ages 12-16: allow the darkness to consume you

ages 16-19: be a kid for the first time ever

ages 19-30: develop dad lore

ages 30-35: court a beautiful lady

ages 35-40: get married, start a family

ages 40-55: promise to clean out the gutters and never do it again

ages 55-60: allow the darkness to consume you once more

ages 60-75: swinger cruises with your beautiful wife

ages 75-86: be an eccentric grandfather

age 86: mysteriously disappear

whyenn-reader

firm believer you can't be a ''good person''. too much niuance to life.

whyenn-reader

you can be good (adjective) but you cannot be good (identity)

whyenn-reader

if you think you are good (identity) you are more likely to cause harm as you don't consider yourself to be capable of it

snorlaxatives

i think one of the best parts about being a teenager in the early to mid 2010s was that cigarettes were definitely not cool anymore and vapes hadn’t popularized yet so my lungs made it out of my peak impressionable years relatively unscathed

kaiyves-backup

afurioushawk

dragon-in-a-fez

one of the funniest conversations I ever had with my ex was when they were still getting used to Celsius and asked me "what's 20 degrees?" and instead of converting it, I said "it's the highest your dad will ever let you set the thermostat and when you say you're cold he tells you to put on another sweater, we're not made of money" and they went "oh, 68"

the fact that this reference was that fucking precise was something they went on to tell people about for years.

jawpeople

being a kid and hearing adults say stuff like "woah 2011 was 4 years ago haha" didn't really convey the fucking horror of a youtube video crossing my recommended labelled "9 years ago" and it's from 2017. that's not true. 9 years ago is 2010 or something. don't lie.

tetitasdelimon

top 5 horror movies

-having a job

-not having a job

-applying for jobs

-the job market

-the concept of working my whole life

thegoodlannister

the year is 2012.

I have two tabs open. one is tumblr. I am 160 posts back on my dashboard - I have made it back to the place I left off the night before.

satisfied, I open the second tab to pull up a post-avengers fanfic. everyone lives together in stark tower - each of them has their own floor. for no explained reason, loki shares thor’s. no one questions that he has not been arrested. the team has friday evening movie nights. at breakfast, thor eats all of tony’s pop tarts.

I am content.

thegoodlannister

to all the people saying this was an embarrassing time: I am 34 full years old and reading/writing these fics brought me so much joy and rereading them still does. embarrassment is a construct, cringe culture is dead, and the found family trope saves lives.

korolevx-deactivated20180128

the idea of consuming two conflicting things that promise to do the opposite of each other has always been hilarious to me. there’s a liquid shot-based sleep aid called 6 hour sleep and as soon as I saw it i immediately imagined mixing it and a 5 hour energy together for a 1 hour nap

korolevx-deactivated20180128

mix NyQuil and DayQuil to create Quil