fun date idea!!! turn off all the lights, cover your phone camera, walk around it thrice clockwise and then twice counterclockwise, then pick it up and whisper ‘great sex’ five times, gradually increasing in volume. this can be done alone but it is not recommended as it can be dangerous. tag @evilhanschen and say ‘I just had great sex!!’ those words EXACTLY. if you’d like, you can even add a video.. 🫣will evilhanschen come to you in your dreams, welcome him.
apparently i’m a bigot cause a trans guy was into me and i said sorry i have a bf already?? idk he got pissed off about how i only said that cause he’s trans and i was like, i’m not saying this because i think you’re less of a boy like bro im dating someone sorry i don’t wanna ditch him
but honestly i get that it’s probably pretty shit to like a cis guy when ur a trans guy so i hope he finds someone for him, i also hope we can stay friends cause i genuinely like him a lot, just not like that
sometimes i romanticize my eating disorder too, but the difference is i recognize my flawed logic instead of broadcasting it to a bunch of mentally ill teenagers for validation
moritz sees an angel, who represents freedom. she introduces him to the idea of something unconfined which he cannot stop thinking about. and then he brings up butterflies and summer wind as things he desires so badly to be. two notoriously airborne things. he wants to be a laundry line and just do what he has to and hold it all up until eventually he’s set free. nobody ever does that for him, so he has to himself, and become an angel BAM everythings connected. just give him wings dawg he wants to fly so bad just give him this one thing i beg of you please pleeaase ✋😭🤚
the worst part about the coming out scene is that the emotions are realistic.
it absolutely reminds me of my own experiences being outed.
watching noah's acting in that scene, the way he's sobbing and like hyperventilating, genuinely makes me uncomfortable because it looks so real. and knowing that he was likely exhausted and emotionally drained from filming that scene for 12 hours makes me feels sick. because ive been there. because i know what it looks like, and it looks like that.
why the hell would i want to relive seeing that in a show, and have it played off as something heartwarming. it's not.
I really hate that closeted gay man and straight women trope, what I’m talking about is where a gay man will make a women think he loves her, marry her, get her pregnant and then cheat on her with a man. I hate that trope sooo much it’s so misogynistic. We’re at a point in time where people will justify it saying he was “scared” and he “wasn’t happy” like ok? So you get a girl pregnant and then cheat on her?
A lot of the time the men never face consequences and it’s often the women who do, the women are left to take care of the kids, to struggle financially, and to carry the man’s shame because he has none. They live their life struggling in many ways while the man is off living in his truth. And people justify it further more proving that these people are misogynistic. You guys show your gay fetish the moment you justify shit like this.
I came across something on twitter where it was a fanfic where Mike cheats on eleven with will and mind you will and eleven are siblings in the fanfic and my only thought is why make eleven date mike? Why couldn’t they have made Mike single? Like why do women have to suffer so men can have their happy ending and live in their truth? Why do women have to be the ones suffering so the men can be happy?
And when I commented about it on TikTok my comment was flooded with bylers saying it was my first fandom and how I must be new to fanfic babyyy I’ve been reading fanfic for 6 years, I’m in many fandoms and have many ships bitches would hate to see my tumblr, my ao3, and my old Wattpad and YouTube stories.
I hate to see women in things like fanfics, movies, shows, books, ect be used as a disposable plot device. Stuff like this genuinely treats women like props and not people, it romantics lying, coercion, and reproductive harm. The women is always made to be the villain or are erased entirely. Women are treated as cost and not people, women are mad to endure everything g given to them no matter how hard it is, a man’s happiness is treated as more important than a women’s dignity and women are punished for being in the way.
So many fandoms defend it because male pain is centered, women are expected to sacrifice everything quietly and quickly, queer men are allowed moral complexity women are not. And a lot of the times fandoms like the men more than the women so they’ll make the women suffer to give the man his happy ending.
I cvt again after being clean for six months. fucking great
I don’t even know why I did it. I just found a sharp in my room and I was bored, and I tried distracting myself for so so long but it didn’t end up working. it just delayed the urge
it only took like one more night before I started cvtting again. the thing I’m using isn’t super sharp, so it won’t cause much damage, but I’m still so mad at myself for doing SO well and then my resolve crumbling as soon as i found something that could hurt me
afterwards I got a text from one of my friends and just started crying cause they were so worried about me when I used to cut and what would they think now that I’m doing it again
So, the lesson here is that if you are different and deal with any kind of disability, and your life will be more difficult due to that difference or disability, you should probably just die. Be grateful for the men in your life who kept you trapped like a little bird before your untimely death. That was just because they loved you so much! (Jane).
Also, if you are emotionally repressed and self-involved, and use fantasy roleplay as a means to escape your clearly unresolved mental health issues, you should continue to self-isolate and sabotage your relationships. For uh... reasons. (Mike).
And if you're gay, you need to learn that not everyone is gay like you! Some people are straight, silly! But hey, after being abused and orally assaulted, you will eventually meet a nice guy in a bar. Just don't gay kiss in public! Ew! (Will).
These are our outcasts and freaks, dawg. This is our show that said forced conformity was killing the kids.
hey so i rewrote the eleven dying scene. i feel like i put in as much effort as the duffers did, maybe more. no, i did not read it back. this was a stream of conciousness, but at least it was my own stream of consciousness, you know?
if it doesn’t make sense? yes it does. this is canon, actually.
it’s also 1,4k words so be advised.
Eleven stands in the portal, the shimmering chaos of the upside down deteriorating is behind her. Everyone who was looking for her just a second ago, happy for her escape from the military is stunned. They do not understand. If she is there, she will get destroyed too, why would she be there? Why?
Mike howls in pain, “El! No!” His screams fall to deaf ears. He is distraught beyond belief. How could she do this? What about their future together? One where they’re all free and happy, unrestrained by the horrors that have been following them for so many years. Mike cries, his anguish breaking his voice as he continues to scream.
Max wishes for nothing more than her legs to move, for her voice to fully work, to express to Jane, that what she is doing is useless… Max curses her body, the betrayer. In her fantasy she runs to Jane in this moment, holds her hand, pulls her out. Hugs her tight. “You are loved,” she says, “and that is freedom.”
A single tear rolls down her cheek.
Will understands. He doesn’t accept it, however. He looks on to Jane, catches her gaze looking back at him. “Jane…” he whispers, “don’t…” She smiles at him. It’s a sad smile. He realizes that he hasn’t seen a genuine smile from her in so long. He cannot live with himself if he can’t ever see it again…
Hopper bends his head down in disappointment. He can’t believe she is making this choice. She doesn’t need to, doesn’t she understand? He will be here for her, always, they can be happy together, away from all this bullshit. Once this ends, they can finally be happy. A happy family. Him and his daughter. His disappointment burrows in his bones, deep and rotten. He couldn’t save her. Again.
Everyone hears Purple Rain by Prince playing in their heads. It’s an… interesting choice of soundtrack for the moment, but no one really has any capacity to question it. Not when Jane is so close, yet so far. Alive, but not for long. For a moment everyone looks at Mike, who seems to be talking to himself. Then everyone chooses to ignore Mike.
Jane waves her hand. She knows the end is near - Prince just started singing the bridge of the song. “Huh, the bridge,” she murmurs to herself, “how ironic.” She looks on to her friends and her enemies, hand still waving. Imagines herself the Queen of England before her final moments. She doesn’t really know who that is, but she imagines it must be someone important, who would die in the year 2023. She lets herself cry. She lets herself feel it all, for it will be the last time.
“WAIT!”
A voice, a recognizibly slimy voice, screams at Jane. She opens her eyes, ones she didn’t know were even closed and lets out a breath she didn’t know she’d been holding. She looks at this person. At Doctor Kay.
“JANE, WAIT,” Doctor Kay’s voice is filled with emotion - desperation, it seems - as she slowly lugs her body toward the portal. No one had dared to even come close to the portal and the girl standing in it, for a good minute, despite the military having strict orders of capturing the girl. Later, the military men would say they couldn’t, because it was for the plot convenience.
Jane stirs at the desperate note of Doctor Kay’s voice, something about it sounding so familiar. It was like Mama, she thinks to herself when she was screaming my name at the lab.
“Mama?” Jane tentatively says, looking at Doctor Kay. Prince is still singing the bridge, don’t worry about it.
Doctor Kay stops. “Girl, what? Obviously not,” she says in a tone, that makes it seem like she maybe does not want to approach and save Jane after all. But she takes another step forward regardless. Her gaze softens. She looks on to Jane, staring deep into her big brown eyes. “You’ve always had such an active imagination, you know? It’s crazy these fools,” she dramatically waves her hand over the thirty people standing around the truck, all of whom are Jane’s friends? Doctor Kay isn’t so sure, “never invited you to play America’s Top Selling Table Top Roleplaying Game Dungeons and Dragons trademarked!”
“How…” Jane’s voice breaks from the emotion. She herself isn’t sure what emotion. Perhaps confusion or disembodiment from reality. “How do you know they never did? Only… only my diary knows that…” She mumbles to herself.
“Oh, you silly girl.”
Doctor Kay is right in front of the portal now, standing in front of Jane. They look at each other deep in the eyes. It’s almost a staring contest.
Doctor Kay raises her hand to the top of her head. She grabs her perfectly styled grey hair by the bangs and pulls. Oh my… It was a wig this whole time?
However, that’s not the part that shakes everyone the most. Doctor Kay… she’s…
“Bald?” Hopper says, finally looking up after having a long moment of feeling bad about himself and considering blowing himself up once he gets back home.
“But only one person can be bald,” Dustin adds.
“It’s her.” Max puts the details together. “It’s Eleven slash Jane slash Kay!”
“Slash the Mage,” Mike, who is still talking to himself, crying and holding his arms out in front of himself, like a third grader at a school dance, adds randomly.
“You’re me?” Jane holds out her hand through the portal. If the bridge were to collapse now (it won’t, Prince is still singing) all that would be left behind would be her right arm. And she knows Mike would keep it (maybe like an anime pillow, but she’s not entirely sure what that is).
“I am… I always have been. I’ve been trying to save you, Jane… Me.” Doctor Kay’s eyes are filled with tears.
“But Kali… She said you… You were keeping her hostage!” Jane gets loud as her anger and frustration slip through, “You took her blood! And the women? The pregnant women?” Jane suddenly halts, her expression stricken, “Oh shit, the pregnant women… We forgot to save them…”
Doctor Kay laughs, “Ah, Jane, hilarious as always!” She holds Jane’s hand in her own. “Don’t you understand? Kali was never there! Kali is the friends we made along the way!” She smiles and wipes Jane’s tears, reaching into the portal. “And the pregnant women? Don’t worry!”
Jane sniffles. “Okay.”
“Shall we go, now?” Doctor Kay coaxes Jane, pulling her hand to get her through the portal. Jane yanks her hand free.
“No!” She says, crossing her arms. “If I leave now, it will all be for nothing! You’re me! You must understand!” Jane is the one desperate now.
“My friend, it will not be for nothing if you believe.” Doctor Kay smiles, looks back at the gang, who are still glued to their X spots near the truck, “And I, for one, believe.” She says so with her whole heart.
“I believe,” echoes Will.
“I believe,” repeats Lucas.
“I also believe,” through a heavy fog of tears says Hopper.
“I believe,” Max smiles.
“I believe,” Dustin holds out his hands in a heart formation.
“But I don’t understand!” Screams Mike, still lost in his own delusions. No one bats an eye anymore.
“I believe,” say Joyce and Steve in unison. Have they ever interacted before? First time for everything - they look each other and smile.
“I believe,” says one of the military men, one who never really got to feel included in anything - bullied throughout all of his childhood years, his high school girlfriend leaving him for his dad, who was not only an absent parent but also a supervillain.
“I believe,” says the Byers’ family dog, back from the dead for the final season.
“I belieeeeeeeveeeee,” sings tone deaf Tammy, the biggest celebrity in Hawkins.
Jane smiles. She looks at her friends and enemies with fondness. She understands now, “I believe,” she says, stepping through the portal to the normal boring ass dimension of real world and hugs Doctor Kay. “Thank you, old me. But I’ve gotta ask - why Kay?”
“Kay, for cool,” Doctor Kay responds, wiping the tears she didn’t know she was holding.
“Oh my!” Jane laughs, “I guess I never was good at spelling!”
Everyone laughs, including all the military men. Prince laughs too - his song long done. The upside down explodes. Diana Ross’ song Upside Down also gets deleted from reality.
Everyone runs to each other, jumps up (including Max, whose legs suddenly work) and high five.
It’s so alluring, I know. This promise that life will magically be “perfect” if you reach this impossible, romanticized ideal. It will suck you in, and it will take and take until you have nothing left.
It’s all fake. It’s all disgustingly romanticized. It’s all enabling. These active users in this part of the internet will show you the tiny waists, they will show you the tiny portions, they will show you the tiny cutlery. But what they won’t show you is the hospitalizations, the heart disease, the osteoporosis, the acid reflux, the rotted teeth, the halved lifespan, the relapses, the refeeding syndrome, the malnutrition, the hypoglycemia, the freezing and weakness, the little hairs all over your body, the odd stench emanating from your body no matter how much perfume or showering you use. They won’t show you the real side of these disorders that make them so dangerous.
