[45percenterthen]

i love crying in front of a mirror i am both audience and performer i am narrator and narrated this is a self referential tragicomedy and i should start a youtube channel

[one-time-i-dreamt]

I’ve changee my Instagram username after like 9 years of having it, I feel weirdly emotional

[an-absolute-travesty]

I’m sorry but your profile picture looks like a female version of Boyinaband

[one-time-i-dreamt]

I’ve been told that I look like him before

[imnotsureanymore]

Well, I didn’t know him so I googled and-

[one-time-i-dreamt]

I also kind of think he looks like @setheverman but with colorful hair

[valtharr]

are you saying Dave is actually the fusion of you and Seth Everman

[one-time-i-dreamt]

I’m saying Infinity War is not the most ambitious crossover anymore

[tech--romancer]

Im gonna do something cursed

[tech--romancer]

God forgive me for i have sinned

[one-time-i-dreamt]

ERZHHGGGJJGRUKVFUBZKZXUVUVIFUFZFUCFZDTDZFUGIGIDUDUFUVKGKHIFUFUFUFIGUFZ

[the-real-peter-parker]

BILLIE EILISH????

[one-time-i-dreamt]

Which one of us???

[mememan93]

yes

[milk-a-cola]

[fourteenzero]

[the-worm-man]

this is like the end of a scooby doo episode

[archie-is-actually-a-girls-name]

Wait. One-time-I-dreamt had a…face?

[one-time-i-dreamt]

Hey, I still have it!

Not for long

[one-time-i-dreamt]

W-what

KOH THE FACE STEALER!!!!!???!!

[angrytexastoast]

[rembrandttheforbiddenone]

This is just the best interaction on the site

[alpha-tequila-uncle]

[unishine]

Not of the images are loading and its very scary just seeing “BILLIE EILISH??” and “KOH THE FACE STEALER!!!!???!!” because I have absolutely no context and I’m scared to see this when it loads.

[kingpepperony]

[girlgerard]

just made a pretentious uquiz that brought me so much joy it’s embarassing

[girlgerard]

here’s the link! put your results in the tags, i’d love to see what you got 👀

[acreaturecalledgreed]

the concept and idea of “you can always start trying to be a better person” is extremely important to me both in media and irl and i continue to be deeply deeply disturbed by the trend on this site pushing that these ideas in media are bad writing or even morally reprehensible

because theyd rather someone stay terrible or just straight up die than become a better person 

from a compassionate point of view it’s deeply distressing and from a pragmatic point of view it’s outright frustrating

it’s fucked up. 

[falliblefabrial]

What is the most important step a man can take?

The next.

[inklesspen]

[babblingfishes]

I think part of the pushback about this is the idea that, to “redeem” bad people, their victims must first forgive them for unforgivable acts.

This is false. No one is obligated to forgive you. You can learn from your mistakes and become the best, kindest person on earth, and the people you’ve hurt still won’t forgive you, and you’ll have to accept that. And that doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to grow. Because we aren’t just “pure” or “sinful”, we’re complex.

[punkconcert]

John Mulaney, a true ADHD icon

[somewhat-honest-abe]

I love how he gave this bit at an autism benefit because it is also a heavy Autism Mood™

[gh0sthoodie]

This is the most relatable thing I’ve ever seen.

[vulpeculavolans]

TRANSCRIPT:

JOHN MULANEY: I normally don’t notice people. I zone out constantly. Have you ever zoned out for a few minutes? I’ve been zoned out since 2014.

AUDEINCE LAUGHS

MULANEY: I just - all day long, I wander into traffic walking like Charlie Chaplin, listening to a podcast while thinking about a different podcast. 

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

MULANEY: I can zone out anywhere - I was at the doctor’s office, he was reading me the results of a blood test, it was important I listened, and I zoned out! I was like, “nah, I’m gonna stare at the wall and think my thoughts”.

AUDIENCE MEMBER WHOOPS

MULANEY: I was like, “huh. None of the Beatles had moustaches… but then one day, all of them had moustaches.”

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

MULANEY: “That’s weird, I can’t think of a time a group has done that”. Some people in my life don’t want me to zone out as much - they want me to focus, and they want me to be in the moment, and they want me to do this by meditating. I don’t know if you’ve ever tried meditating, but I’ve been trying it. This is how you meditate, okay? You sit on the floor with your back perfectly straight, which I hate more than ISIS -

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

MULANEY: I don’t like sitting up straight! Alright?! It’s never gonna happen! If meditating was sitting hunched over on the toilet with your elbow on your knee while kind of looking at your phone, I’d be the Dalai Lama.  

AUDIENCE LAUGHS/APPLAUDS

MULANEY: I don’t like sitting up straight. So you sit up straight, and you breathe, and this helps you stay in the moment. Don’t bother! The moment is mediocre at best!

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

MULANEY: I mean, it’s fine. Let’s all try right now - let’s all be in the moment, in silence, right now. [A HALF-SECOND PAUSE] Sucked, right? Not fun at all! 

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

MULANEY: That was boring! You gotta zone out! You have an imagination! You have a movie theatre in your brain that plays fake arguments that you win.

AUDIENCE LAUGHS/APPLAUDS

MULANEY: Have you ever just been sitting there thinking about something for twenty, twenty-five minutes, and all of a sudden you’re like “oh my god, I’m driving!” and you remember? You’re like -

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

MULANEY: “I’m going seventy-five miles an hour! I have been for a while! I could’ve changed so many lives!” Sometimes, my wife - I have this wife - she’ll be like, “are you watching the road?” and I’m always like, “I am looking through the windshield.”

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

MULANEY: “And I’m not gonna hit anyone, but no. I’m thinking about the Beatles.”

[whatsitnot]

Hey @vulpeculavolans added a transcript to this AND THAT IS SO AWESOME THANK YOU SO MUCH!

[worstseawitch]

“I’m gonna stare at the wall and think my thoughts.” Is my true ADHD/Autism experience lmaoooo

[y-that-crazy-five-foot-two-chick]

Did I reblog this yet? Who knows? But it has been done as of now.

[evermore-fashion]

Linda Friessen Haute Couture Gowns

[keepingupwithlinmanuel]

Harry Potter and the Treasury Secretary

[evermore-fashion]

Heaven Gaia Spring 2020 Haute Couture Collection

[behindthefourthwall]

[rainnecassidy]

this remains one of my favorite posts of all time

[devourfrombeneath]

now for ur phone. go make some strangers uneasy in public 👉👉

[lemonsharks]

@star-anise check out these modern pastoral masterpieces

[star-anise]

Sometimes you cannot face life’s challenges with dignity, but you can face them with the outraged volume of a screaming cockatoo.

[gluten-free-pussy]

I was high off my ass last night and had this dream where I was in this dense ass forest and sitting there was a tall woman. She was so tall I couldn’t see her face but she was wearing gold and I was like “uh…hi?” And she said “I made you, do you know that?” And I nodded and she was like “I hear your thoughts. Why do you hate my creation? Why do you try to destroy yourself? I made you perfect as you are. Please don’t break my heart”. Then she started crying and it flooded and I woke up with fucking heart palpitations like what does it Mean™️????

[animution11]

[royalhans]

polar opposite of this post

[hrmsketches]

inspiration struck and would not let me go until i drew this

[weaver-z]

I rarely have a visceral reaction to a TikTok but this one... this one got me

[weaver-z]

List of wild things in this video:

- The guy whose computer screen you can see at the start is looking up “what to do if a dog has rabies”

- The unbroken wall of hydroflasks in front of the teacher’s podium

- Good Mythical Morning poster

- Inexplicable “NO TALKING DURING RAZOR LOVE” sign

- The guy next to the videographer just has the letters “WBOEOADRS” in giant font on his computer screen

- The teacher knowing to pause for booing after he mentione Ashe County Middle School

- The kid that yells “I hate them!” enthusiastically

- A sign that says “NO FREAKING” with a picture of two stick figures having sex

- Hand-painted “educasion is overated” poster

- The fact that the class knows to say “standing by” when he tells them to stand by

- The woman literally waiting outside the door to hand over the dog

- The tenderness with which he handles the dog before he announces its imminent demise

- “DO YOUR BUCKING VOCAB”

[solsikkepop]

@teamhawkeye

[yars]

[supersexyawesomeness]

[kingscrown666]

Good dog

[sassyrat]

@tomanyfandoms3042

[dramatic-mami3042-deactivated20]

I better get my good luck 🍀

[spellmanmortuary]

Me going thru Twitter and seeing everyone thirsty af for my boi Caliban/shipping him with Sabrina. Calbrina nation is RISING yalllll

[spellmanmortuary]

Can someone pls gif that scene where Sabrina drags tf out of Nick's jealous ass and prudence looks v proud and caliban is v turned on by it ?? It's for science

[hufflepotato-18]

SABRINA NOT PUTTING UP WITH NICK’S SHIT ANYMORE AND PUTTING HIM BACK IN HIS PLACE

CALIBAN LOOKING AT HER LIKE “DAMN SHE IS A BADASS AND THAT WAS HOT”

PRUDENCE LOOKING AT HER LIKE “THAT’S MY GIRL”