I've been noticing a lot more things I do because of neurodivergence and I just saw someone post about something they did and it made me feel less shame for it so
Here's a list of stuff I do that is most probably because of being neurodivergent:
(May have repeated some stuff by accident might clean it up later)
Forgetting to eat
Not eating because executive dysfunction
Not wanting to be perceived (like just being in the same room as my roommates)
Cleaning constantly to have control
Not cleaning once or twice and it builds up to a mountain of shame
Staying up whole nights because I feel more alone and free of judgment
Feeling sleepy after having caffeine
Having caffeine to calm down the ants on my body
Those ants on my body for no reason
Having sugar like neurotypical ppl have coffee
Not eating because the comfort food phase ended so now I'm stuck in a void
Not going to eat at the mess in my dorm bc it's too overstimulating and food does not feel right in my mouth (?)
Constantly feeling like people are judging me for being weird and different even though I know they are not
Getting one thing wrong and worrying that everything in my entire life is a mistake (not exaggerated)
Getting stuck on a task because I can't complete it and mist do it later but brain is like "if you don't do this you will have no meaning in life"
Not getting used to discomfort like my workspace is a little too cold and somehow everyone else is fine with it after a couple months (might just be me or that cold makes me overstimulated)
Picking skin off my scalp
Wearing a hat indoors so I don't pick my skin off my scalp (it hurts)
Need. Hooks. Everywhere.
Feeling bad that someone had to see me being weird
Not going outside bc outside is where people are (there are people inside too)
Feeling no happiness when a task is done only relief
Feeling a sense of familiarity when someone says the task is wrong like haa i knew it
Why do people exist
Trying desperately to have a routine but always breaking it
Planning things to the minute but crashing into paralysis when one thing goes off
Wanting to self isolate
Always feeling watched
Making up versions of both real and fictional people in my head to talk to
Wanting to do stuff but not doing it bc brain said no
Did One Thing today I can't do more
Daydreaming. For HOURS.
This song is really good to imagine an animatic to
Not wanting to go to class because the routine is boring but also craving routine by something else like removing socks in this particular space everyday
Making and struggling to make food
Dreaming about living alone in the future and having the place be neurodivergent friendly
Like Hooks everywhere
Did I mention how useful hooks are
And boxes to put stuff into but everywhere
Honestly just being alone sounds nice
Imagining sharp objects in my body wayy too often to be normal
Showers bring overstimulating also community bathrooms feel wrong
Not getting vague instructions, like tell me every single detail wdym just have fun with it??? How much fun am i allowed to have???
Sleeping all day then not sleeping at all for 2 days straight
Seeing people online and offline also have same or similar experiences and feeling validated like yeah I'm weird and that's fine
