Canât keep living like this, I want a cat Radfem/Gender-Crit/Anti-Capitalist 23yrs/bisexual/black woman I donât hate people/identities, I just really donât fw some of yâallâs ideas.
thereâs so much research that shows how harmful porn is towards the treatment of women and children so asking why women are against porn is such an ignorant question. itâs common sense for women to be against an industry that is run by human trafficking and rape.
We donât think youâre a whore, we think youâre at best unaware and at worst careless of the consequences/implications/reality of porn. Like I donât hate female porn attresses, prostituted women, onlyfans girls, strippers or any other women in the sex industry. I care about their safety, wellbeing and health. And I truly believe that the sex industry is harmful to all of the above and as such I oppose the INDUSTRY. I do not despise or oppose individual women within it. Even the more privileged among them, who tout porn as empowering and liberating, I feel are usually just misinformed and brainwashed. I just feel so sad that women are taught our bodies are a commodity, that objectified and dehumanized is our default view of women.
I think those women deserve better. I donât think theyâre dirty/wh*res/damaged goods or any other misogynistic garbage. I donât tie womenâs worth to their bodies or how they exercise their sexuality.
I am concerned with the objective consequences of the sex industry. Iâm concerned about how many women who are âsex workersâ(read prostituted women) are kept reliant on drugs by their pimps and having the money they make taken from them to keep them from getting out, how many of them started being sex trafficked as children and donât know any other way, how many of them wouldnât be able to eat without allowing repulsive depraved men to rape them for money. Iâm concerned with the fact that behind the scenes of much mainstream porn is girls who had no other choice, who were sexually abused in childhood and never got the help they needed and instead were told their reckless/dangerous hypersexual behavior made them a great fit for porn, who were coerced at a young age and now feel they canât do anything else. Iâm concerned about how much of mainstream porn has been found and proven to be recorded rape, revenge porn, child sexual abuse material and coerced participation.
Iâm concerned with the consequences of porn consumption, how men who consume porn are shown to view women as less competent, how men who consumed porn were more likely to SELF-REPORT they would rape a woman if they knew they wouldnât get in any trouble for it. How men who consume porn begin to consume more and more extreme and violent content(which is real! Real women are being choked, beaten, gagged, punched, and being made to vomit, bleed and cry in this porn) and develop paraphilias they otherwise wouldnât through porn consumption. How in time they will want to act these things out. This is my concern! Iâm not concerned with sexual prudence or your chastity, get fucking real! This is terrifying and itâs really happening.
The fact that opposing this is viewed as extreme is whatâs insane. Itâs legitimately dystopian that all of the shit happening in porn no one bats a lash at and criticizing it gets you called a prude/sexually repressed/misogynistic. Whatâs more misogynistic, the trafficking and abuse of women for male entertainment or criticism of said traffickers and abusers? Somehow this is a real question and people are saying the latter! I feel like Iâm taking crazy pills ffs!
Iâve actually sat down and listened to previous porn actresses and they canât say enough how often they were made to do things they didnât agree to, how much substance abuse was involved, how they needed to be under the influence to even perform. I actually know women who have been prostituted. I know how they got there and I fucking guarantee you they donât feel âempowered and liberatedâ Iâve heard from their own mouths that they feel trapped, scared and helpless.
TLDR: most of us donât think of you as a âwh*reâ (though the men consuming the porn probably do). We are genuinely and rightfully upset, horrified, and concerned about the abuses, coercion and outright violence that occurs in the industry. As well as the effects porn has on the minds and behaviors of the men consuming it.
Males think that oppressing women is a human right. No matter how oppressed a man is, he will always seek to oppress women in the same position as him. Their entitlement to oppress women is considered a given, and when they feel injustice at being poor, a large part of it is that they feel injustice at the fact that they can't oppress rich women as much as they oppress other poor women.
Men don't measure class by wealth, or race, or country, they measure it by how many women they are given the opportunity to oppress.
In connection with my angry post yesterday, I want to address a topic that logically follows from the previous one. It goes like this:
So, what are men supposed to do, if they're so bad?
Against the backdrop of a completely predictable rise in discontent with the level of aggression and general violence from men, and their remarkable ability to pool collective efforts to solve problems in every case EXCEPT those where it's actually needed and important (I mean, canceling pedophiles isn't the same as canceling a woman who laughed at the national football team, yeah, just google new scandal about Rosalia and football team), men have, perhaps for the first time, felt a real threat. And then it appears. That feeling of being brought down from heaven to earth. That feeling that, oh, your actions actually had consequences. Scary, new, and unpleasant! So the entire male brotherhood unanimously rushed to cosplay white guilt; not even knowing what it is, but intuitively guessing that making big teary eyes when caught red-handed, like a five-year-old caught hitting a cat, is a good idea. "So what, should I just die if I'm that bad simply for being a man???" ask men of the whole world. You can see that type of posts on reddit, here, on tumblr, etc. The bolder ones go further and start whining about how terrible and unfair it is: they recently came out as women / non-binary / a kitty / a puppy, which means their whole life, even their childhood, was actually that way too. And if in high school they hung out on Nazi forums on reddit or 4han, laughed at girly hobbies, and made "typical bros jokes" about women's bodies and rape (etc.), then that's not a typical illustration of MGS [male gender socialization], but "internalized misogyny."
So. Let me answer, even though somewhere before me this has definitely already been said.
You are very likely either noticed at some point, or heard many time from other women, that under any video, any TikTok, even one covering male violence or privilege in the most unbiased way there will always, besides the disgruntled men, be a woman defending them. "Not all men," "but mine's not like that," "they face problems too," "but women... are even worse!" and all the rest. No matter what you say, even if you're a married non-feminist woman sharing what an asshole your ex was, a man-defender will always show up. "What good masculinity should look like and what bad masculinity looks like," "why Misogyn3000 with 2 million followers in Twich didn't deserve to be canceled [by 20 TikToks]," and other crap from liberal feminist is the same category.
All of this is an old problem in new cover. Imagine yourself the "American Dream": white picket fence that a working man walks through after his shift, a door behind which he is greeted by rosy-cheeked happy children and a wife in a new dress holding a pie. It sounds good [for a man], but all of this needs to be executed. The fence must be repainted on time with good paint in dry weather, the children must be learned (to stand still, not run around and shout) and organized to greet their parent, the pie must be baked... And if even one of these sub-points isn't handled properly, the "head of the family" will definitely notice. It is not "American Dream" anymore, it is "God forbid everything being normal in this house!". He is the client, and the woman in this house is the executor. And the client, as is typical in professional situations, does not care what paths the project takes to be realized, or whether it is even feasible at all.
But you know what you never see? Men writing WITHIN THEIR OWN, male communities that misogyny is actually bad. In women's spaces, yes, they love doing that. They like messing with the heads of women who think they can "change" a man or "find" a good one. But otherwise... No woman carrying a medal for heroic deeds = no action. When it turns out that no honors are on the horizon, but rather the opposite: a sideways, uncomprehending look from the "guys" and the chance to be branded a weirdo simp are already enough to shut up these self-proclaimed "true women-lovers." And in real life, "offline"? In front of the bros? The boss? Dad? Call them out? For MISOGYNY??? Are you kidding????? No and no, Kevin wont do that, Kevin is scared((
Men evaluate the result, they consume the goods (or services) produced by women, but they are so disconnected from the process of their creation/execution that they have no idea how it actually is happened.
Think about how many poor and nearly-poor men go years without washing their own dishes, ironing their shirts, doing their laundry, or cooking anything beyond basic sandwiches... some of them never do it in their entire lives! The working class, with full outsourcing of domestic labor. They don't have money for making an appointment to a doctor, but they don't know how or with what to mop the floor, because it's always been done for them. Do you feel the degree of insanity?
Imagine next type of situation: A man berates his wife for the children "she raised". They laughed too loudly at lunch, broke something, fidgeted, behaved "inappropriately" outside... anything. He doesn't know if his children have any diagnoses, what has been tried and what hasn't, whether their rowdiness is temporary or age-related (or maybe a consequence of something in the realm of pediatric neurology) â he just needs the children to be quiet. That's it. Yelling at the wife will probably help. And so it goes with just about everything.
Women are so cornered and worn down that internal self-regulation and intra-class regulation, is gradually becoming a fully autonomous mechanism of control. A mother telling her daughter to "put on normal clothes" does not pose as high a threat of sexualized violence to her as a random man or a male family member â but she is transmitting the patriarchal directive "from above" ("a woman is an object for violence. she must hide.") without any additional signals. She operates two steps ahead, like a servant trained to anticipate the master's moods.
I know someone can accuse me for "making up excuses" (although I didn't say that all FGM stories are this dramatic, I was merely illustrating the logic of what happens... but ok, whatever), but I'm the one banging my fist on the table first. Why do we have a system where women are sold as livestock? Why is the "commodity status" of women determined by those who buy them and appropriate the products of their labor? Why, under analogous conditions, does no one come up with similar atrocities for mutilating boys, or use them for sale into sexual slavery? Why doesn't the father go "sell himself" instead, while an 11-year-old child receives a lifelong mutilation-mark?
These are not "rhetorical" questions â they are about tearing off the masks of the "blameless" orchestrators of violence. Do you think they won't come up with new ways to profit if we remove the layer of "bad women," and won't find new ones?
Women in the patriarchal system are a highly self-regulating group. Without proper reflection, all this "programming" doesn't just disappear â it's a habit that isn't so easy to shake.
But when it comes to an actual threat to all of civilization, to the planet (thank you, nuke threat), men suddenly pretend to be a rock garden. Nobody is here, only a bunch of rocks! They won't talk to other men, they won't check themselves or others, no, no. They feel "uncomfortable" when women refuse to play the role of trainers who need to "civilize" those who hold all civil rights (legal capacity) into behaving like human beings.
Where am I getting at? The answer to "so, what are men supposed to do, if they're so bad" is, in short:
Ksenia Raif (russian feminist) once said that radical feminists are the only ones who do not consider men as 'intellectually impaired" and do not strip them of their "subjectivity" [like if they cannot be held responsible for their actions]. And I cannot disagree with her in thus context.
1. Get a grip on theirselves and stop crying crocodile tears.
2. Develop self-regulation within their own community: where there is excess on one side, there is deficit on the other. Saying simply: stop enabling pedophilia, rape, murder; start actually WORKING on the problem. Clean up their own fucking name if it means so much for them as they claim. And not just when someone is watching them in back. Do it for themselves, not for selfish gain.
And most importantly: Stop gaslighting women. That's it, the "we-can-fix-them" mission is over. This is not about the victim having to figure out how her abuser will be rehabilitated, or how everyone connected to him â family, buddies, whatever group â should live with it. If he won't get rehabilitated, then it's either life in prison or execution. Those who follow him will face same deal. Women have the right to focus ON THEMSELVES, without constantly sighing about "oh, but what about the men" and whether to write them a 15-page manual on "How Not to Be an Asshole."
3. To be quieter. There's more than enough of their voices everywhere. The world would be a better place if we heard the women their interrupt and talk over.
And, thats all. Wait for more pretty obvious things which i will say.
If you are put in the world and everything is divided and classified : animals, plants. Horses, humans. Man, woman. French, Chinese. And the people around you are in a constant cycle of blame, whether it's the communists or the fascists doing this to you. But it's not a political party, or an ethnicity that's causing all the evil. It's the gender. The male. 90% of homicides are committed by a male perpetrator. 99% of arrested rapists are males. Imagine if I said this about any other group? Sure you can say ânot all menâ. but the evidence is in every country and every culture- men are more aggressive, and violent than women in every group. In most mammals males are more physically aggressive than females- humans are not an exception.Â
Men have been raping women and children since the begining of humanity.Â
Armies raping women in conquered territories has been documented back to ancient Mesopatamia, and continues to more recent conflicts like WW11, Rwanda, or Israel-Palestine Genocide. Slavery systems throughout history have rape and enslaved children. Female child and adult male marriage in every culture? The first ârape lawâ was in Hammurabi, which treated rape as a big offense to the womens owner (her dad or husband). When Columbus colonized the Americans rape became a tool over the indigenous women, who were not only raped but sold into sex trafficking with survivors as young as 9. During slavery in America the rape of enslaved women by white men was legal. Call it socialisation all you want, but men are society. What puts you under the impression that over the past couple decades men have gone against their nature thats been consistent throughout all of humanity?
It's unbelievably fucking infuriating that TRAs are blaming us for the bot harassment, but not unusual. What's worse, to me, is the insinuation that because we make jokes about it we have something to do with it. This of course goes along with the belief that we're all prudish, stuck up, humorless nagging cows incapable of mirth <<<< women aren't funny, after all. Women aren't funny because men can't relate to our humor, and if men can't relate to it then it may as well not exist at all.
But that isn't what bothers me, because that is also to be expected. It's that it brings back memories of the self-policing expected and required of you to maintain your status within the TRA community, or really within any cult. When they mock us, when they twist our words and behaviors to make us look like we're to blame for the cruelty we suffer, when they tell us that we're unfunny and making ourselves look foolish it's a desperate bid to get us to self-police. To shut up. To stop confronting them with our diversity, of race, of culture, of experience, of sexuality, of personality. To stop being silly and goofy, to stop speaking candidly and from our hearts, to stop thinking, to stop being vulnerable and messy and angry and contradictory the way human beings are, to police each other in order to root out those of us who make us "look bad," to turn on those of us who are the most aggressive, the most hateful, the most unwell and to do the job our wider society wants us to perform by shutting them up, too.
When they find some post by some 16 year old blackpill radfem who has been so traumatized by her lot in life that the only relief she can find is in regurgitating some of that hatred forced into her soul back into the world through her little blog and they point at it and they go "this is proof they're all evil and corrupt!" what they want is for you to police her, too. They want you to gang up on her, to be yet another force in her life trying to make her shut the fuck up because her feelings make people uncomfortable. They know that these outliers make us uncomfortable, too, and they want to take our discomfort and transform it into hatred for their benefit. They want to pass along the job of silencing her to us for the sake of not letting our movement "look bad" in their eyes. When we see someone making a joke that could be misconstrued by them they want us to whisper in her ear, "hey, that was funny but you know, if someone else saw that they might think..."
They want us to see ourselves not as a wide spectrum of different women from different places all having different experiences of life, all good and bad and both and neither, all with the same right to be who we are even if other people don't like it, but as a monolithic hivemind the way they are, and they want us to police each other accordingly. They want us to flatten ourselves, to destroy non-conformity, to let them live inside our minds evaluating everything we think and say so that instead of allowing ourselves to exist as the full, messy people we are we become slaves to their perception of us. Joyless automatons repeating the same phrases over and over again, rejecting even the slightest deviations, respecting no one and nothing except The Message.
They want us to shut the fuck up.
Don't fall for it. Keep being silly, keep making jokes, keep being angry and ugly and hateful and mean if that's what you feel, be a person. Be a real person, because your humanity is what they're afraid of the most. That's why they're trying so hard to squash it out of you. That's why they want so badly for us to try and annihilate the humanity in each other for the sake of a soulless, brainwashed united front held up by paper and chewing gum. Be you. That is the most dangerous and powerful thing you can be.
Hi, girlies. So, Iâve been part of the community for a few years now, but itâs been hard for me to make radical feminist specific friendships and Iâm trying to expand my circle.
Anyway, send me anything, if youâre interested.
Iâm 21 and Brazilian, so if youâre Latina, thatâs even better. I like loser music, logging movies on Letterboxd, watching gameplays, playing sandbox games (and LoL), watching animations (movies, cartoons, some anime), reading, and drawing/painting (though Iâm getting out of the habit). Iâm also a Marxist-Leninist, that means no depoliticized rads or Zionistsâbut besides politics, I consider myself very open-minded and try to see things as chill as possible.
âIt is common belief that whatever the situation, both sexes faced it alike. But the male peasant, however cruelly oppressed, always had the right to beat his wife.â
"feminism will never be taken seriously because I am jerking off to the mouth of scarjo as she tells me I need to respect women" this is exactly why feminism should be focused solely on women and girls and ways to improve their lives, instead of on trying to make men listen
men will say âmy penis controls my brain so much that it makes me forget women are peopleâ and think that is a reflection on women and not on their diminished brain capacity
This guy is not lying though, I remember seeing this study about how when men see women in a sexual context the area of their brain that is associated with recognizing objects lights up instead of the one associated with recognizing people.
Arguing about the right to sell sex presupposes the right to buy sex, since commerce doesn't exist without buyers. And since I don't think buying sex is a right, because if it's only happening because there's money involved aka not actual consent it is rape, I automatically don't think selling sex, aka having your body "available" to get raped in exchange for money, is a right.
The demand to sell sex only exists because there are buyers, and in this case the true discussion should be about the buyers and why they think paying for sex is a right, but curiously only the supposed right of the prostitutes to sell sex is put on the spotlight to pretend they are the ones who systemically hold more autonomy in these transactions, which like is shown in tons of sources that is obviously not true. Buyers of prostitution, aka rapists who payed, and pimps, who profit from other people (mostly women) getting raped, should be criminalized for their abominable actions and maintaining this industry.
And don't dare equate this to the transactional dynamics in drug trafficking, it's completely different.
Men treat women and nature exactly the same. Both have the ability to create life. When men wonât interfere, both have the ability to self-regulate. Some women choose to have children, some wonât. Human populations wonât grow unsustainably when women have agency. Nature, too, has itâs own ways of maintaining balance.
Men treat both women and nature as their property, as something to use for their purposes. Men will strip a woman of her rights and use her and make her birth children for him until she dies. Men will strip nature of her rights and use her and plant monocrops and use artificial fertilizers until the land is barren and ecosystems collapse.
The male fantasy of never ending growth drives both actions, as does the male failure to consider other beings experiencing anything at all. Women and nature, we exist only for his purposes.
