Wulhubba

I like to believe that my corpse will live on as a brainless cyborg automaton.

[8amira8]

[mikeandsubscribe]

House on top to entrance the hide

[chumbology]

you may need to lay off the weed a bit fella

[wulhubba]

So thats where SEAL Team 6 found her

[wulhubba]

I like tumblr because the only people that know who I am on here are people who I really trust.

I am one piece of criticism away from headbutting somebody and leaving.

[peachnix]

can we normalize bullying men who don't wash their hands pleeeasseee

[mikeandsubscribe]

Chumbo you been waiting for me to see this one, I know it

[chumbology]

of course I was. For wondering what the hell we're talking about, mikeandsubscribe and I have a mutual acquaintance who thought they didn't need to wash their hands after peeing, because "pee is sterile". Now, pee isn't sterile -- that's a common myth arising from early medical equipment being unable to detect the bacteria that's in urine -- but even if it was, your dick isn't, the toilet isn't, and there's no reason NOT to wash your hands after you pee. He would NOT admit to being wrong, because he's an idiot and a dickhead, so we just started calling him peepee hands. We still do it. Because his hands are covered in peepee. It didn't work but it did make him really really angry, which was hilarious, and no less than he deserved. So take from that what you will

[wulhubba]

This has your eldest brother dripping all over it

[chumbology]

reader I need you to understand that wulhubba just guessed who this was on vibes alone. He was given no identifying information.

That's what an unwashed asshole my eldest brother is.

No matter how bad your life is going, just know you DEFINITELY have it more together than the man who heard one incorrect fact and believed he'd found a loophole in modern hygiene practices.

[wulhubba]

Your family fascinates me.

[peachnix]

can we normalize bullying men who don't wash their hands pleeeasseee

[mikeandsubscribe]

Chumbo you been waiting for me to see this one, I know it

[chumbology]

of course I was. For wondering what the hell we're talking about, mikeandsubscribe and I have a mutual acquaintance who thought they didn't need to wash their hands after peeing, because "pee is sterile". Now, pee isn't sterile -- that's a common myth arising from early medical equipment being unable to detect the bacteria that's in urine -- but even if it was, your dick isn't, the toilet isn't, and there's no reason NOT to wash your hands after you pee. He would NOT admit to being wrong, because he's an idiot and a dickhead, so we just started calling him peepee hands. We still do it. Because his hands are covered in peepee. It didn't work but it did make him really really angry, which was hilarious, and no less than he deserved. So take from that what you will

[wulhubba]

This has your eldest brother dripping all over it

[wulhubba]

Armored Core VI might actually make me like mecha. I like mechs, been a Battletech fan my whole life, but I couldn't get into mecha until now.

[chumbology]

I had a dream where someone was cleaning a picture frame with the wrong tools and they just couldn't stop leaving streaks. So eventually they left some purposeful streaks and just pretended they liked it because it was "artsy" and "added depth"

In the dream I started screaming "microfiber cloth and windex! All you need is a microfiber cloth and windex! If you don't have a microfiber cloth crumbled up newspaper will do! It looks like your toddler rubbed their greasy little hands on it after messily eating lasagna! MICROFIBER CLOTH AND WINDEX" and I got so mad I woke up

[wulhubba]

[wulhubba]

I like my women like I like my Red Lobster. Bundled with endless lobster biscuits and butter.

[wulhubba]

I saw you tugging on that hog through my crystal ball and man, while I don't agree with your crank material, you aint working with half bad equipment are ya?

[saturn-flowr]

slime teacher: I want this essay in 12 point font Slimes New Roman

[koboldening]

Robber teacher: I want this essay in 12 point font Crimes New Roman

[nugget-gender]

wall teacher: i want this essay in 12 point font Climbs New Roman

[mx-m29]

citrus teacher: i want this essay in 12 point font Limes New Roman

[forgotn1]

poetry teacher: I want this essay in 12 point Rhymes New Roman

[the-breadgirl]

horology teacher: i want this essay in 12 point times new roman

[cellaspider]

Mime teacher:

[mildlybizarrecorvid]

herb teacher: i want this essay in 12 point Thymes New Roman

[minervakarsh]

Dirt teacher: I want this essay in 12 point Grimes New Roman

[hyperoperationfractallisation]

Calculus teacher: I want this essay in 12 point Primes New Roman

[skyporf]

aviation teacher: I want this essay in 12 point Flies New Roman

[shreekofjoy]

Finance teacher: I want this essay in 12 point Dimes New Roman

[squizmo333]

History teacher: I want this essay in 12 point Times Old Roman

[thatoneunknowncognitohazard]

Music Teacher: I want this essay in 12 point Chimes New Roman

[thyrell]

Graphic Design teacher: I want this essay in 12 point Georgia

[kushblazer666]

[wulhubba]

I went 33 years without trying apple sauce and holy shit was I ever missing out, this stuff rips

[wulhubba]

I went 33 years without trying apple sauce and holy shit was I ever missing out, this stuff rips

[balaclava-trismegistus]

Somebody in head-to-toe temu mall goth gear is standing in front of a wrinkled pride flag and doing bad ass poses into the camera with a plastic toy gun they are pretending is real, posting the photographs on Tumblr dot com. The post has sixty thousand notes and everybody thinks this is for real, actually, unironically bad ass. 1200 replies believe the plastic gun held together with screws is real and half of them are begging the poster to erotically execute them through latently-ironic meme phrases. They are all 25-35 years old. The OP is an American and it would have been cheaper to buy a real gun.

[balaclava-trismegistus]

It makes me feel like an insane cave-dwelling salamander man. It's all just empty symbols. It's all just gesturing towards ideas that only exist in the data center between the poster and the viewer. Everybody styles the same cheap crap in the same way to check the box on a commodified identity. Even the actual aesthetic property of the fashion is secondary to the performance of aesthetic. The function is to be itemized as this commodified identity more than living through its aspects. It's all social marketing, not conversation. And it works. It drowns out anyone who actually gives a shit about any of these things they're aping. I feel like I take these things too seriously and I'm making myself weirder by thinking about it so much, but I've realized authenticity is ultimately the only thing worth caring bout. Our present cultural landscape, because of how high-volume social media functions, is outright opposed to authenticity. All of this, the amount of social reward for this kind of empty performance, the amount of individual demand created for it by our media environment, is the atomized form of it. I'm going crazy. Does anyone actually do anything cool anymore?

[wulhubba]

This kind of petty teenage drama is beneath you.

[wulhubba]

I don't respect people who type u instead of you.

[wulhubba]

Me: Oh candied peanuts, sometimes I think you are the only ones who understand me.

Candied peanut: After my family was gone I wished for a quick death. After witnessing the ravenous, gluttonous creature for myself I am expecting one.

[wulhubba]

Asking for a friend but how do I know if I am covered in bug bites because bedbugs or regular flying bugs?

Follow up what do if bedbugs?

[chumbology]

If you do have bedbugs prepare for the fight of your life. They're hard to kill and amazing at hiding.

The internet has good advice on how to beat them, but you need to act RIGHT AWAY

[wulhubba]

Should this friend who definitely isnt me consider just burning his RV to the ground with a propane tank?

[wulhubba]

Asking for a friend but how do I know if I am covered in bug bites because bedbugs or regular flying bugs?

Follow up what do if bedbugs?

[chumbology]

If you do have bedbugs prepare for the fight of your life. They're hard to kill and amazing at hiding.

The internet has good advice on how to beat them, but you need to act RIGHT AWAY

[wulhubba]

Should this friend who definitely isnt me consider just burning his RV to the ground with a propane tank?