Sup.

Xal, 1/11, They/Them Have a nice day.

[unpeeled-human]

[unpeeled-human]

[nocturnal-necromancer]

Hello?? Can anyone hear me???

[theweirdwideweb]

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[vigilantsycamore]

eeby deeby... i haven't heard that name in years...

[digitaldiscipline]

[the-technicolor-whiscash]

Tumblr is the reason why I have something I call the cashier test which is, if i told this to a random cashier at the grocery store, would they think you're crazy at best or at worst would they be warranted in leaping over the counter and beating the shit out of you. Karl Marx mpreg is crazy, but not beating the shit out of you crazy. The cashier will probably talk about you to their coworkers and it might even make their day. Telling someone they're complicit in their own oppression by working a minimum wage job at a grocery store makes them warranted in leaping over the counter to beat the shit out of you.

[whumpster-fire]

Now in handy infographic form for Tumblr users:

[starpeace]

i love pitting classically trained magic users against self-taught magic users in sci-fi/fantasy but it shouldn’t be snobbish disdain for them it should be terror

[starpeace]

“WHO TAUGHT YOU LIGHTNING BEFORE BASIC TELEKINESIS. LOSING MY MIND WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU JUST DID IT. WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAST WITH YOUR BARE HANDS”

[elidyce]

WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT YOU’VE ‘HACKED’ MANA DRAIN

WHAT DO YOU MEAN ‘DRINK SOME JUICE’

WHAT IS ‘LOW BLOOD SUGAR’

WHY IS THIS WORKING

I HATE YOU SO MUCH

[superjustaguyblog]

Okay but other direction can ALSO be a lot of fun

“What do you mean I don’t have to burn half my blood to create a fireball?”

“Why can you teleport more than once without vomiting? WTF is ‘quantum displacement awareness’???”

“You know HOW many spells? HOW? ... What do you mean ‘my spell book’?”

“Ooooh, you’re just summoning water portions from the Plane of Water... Lol I thought I HAD to combine hydrogen and oxygen molecules to generate water in small amounts. That’s so much easier then what I was doing!”

[anachronistic-cat]

Tags via @mia7437

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[jusjuiceboxbox]

Welcome to being an adult! Featuring such injury causing events as

- sneezed wrong

- turned your neck a little too fast

- slept weird

- took the trash out to the curb and stepped at a slightly different angle than usual

- breathed

- failed to breathe properly

- breathed in the wrong stuff. Allergy time

- looked too hard at something too far away

- knees

[jerreeeeeee]

not every mutual fits neatly into an archetypal medievalism but there are some mutuals that im like yeah addressing you as “my liege” would come strangely naturally

[jerreeeeeee]

what mutual is prev

my liege lord

my loyal knight

my wise wizard

my evil advisor

my brother in arms

my lady muse

my wild mermaid friend

my fellow alchemist

my dashing rapscallion

my monstrous foe

Voting ended onJun 6

[bovineblogger]

can you guys watch my squab for me im gonna go on my smoko

[kcrossvine]

baby need smoko

[bovineblogger]

BABY DOES NOT NEED SMOKO

[mossbawn]

people on here are always saying “we NEED a story where the art of storytelling is abandoned” like ugh literary devices are soo annoying like that wouldn’t happen in real life that only happened to further the story (why is there story in my story) why would orpheus turn around when he was explicitly told not to why would icarus fly so close to the sun romeo&juliet catcher in the rye why are they so earnest why pour your heart and soul into anything why bother why cant all art be quippy logical monotony like my marvel movies there’s a void in my heart bc i refused to fill it and the curtains were blue

[mossbawn]

“i hate poetry its so pretentious” but then you reblog a quote or a throwaway line and say “why does this go so hard” you are desperate for poetry you are starved for it and u dont even realise you’re hungry

[wumblr]

all of the numbers that are divisible by 17 sound so absurd. 51? 68? 85? ridiculous. 102? absolutely not. and don't even get me started on 119

[wumblr]

34 and 136 i can believe, but i feel like i shouldn’t. it’s 102 in a trench coat

[red-swimmerz-deactivated2021082]

did we just run out of posts to make

[wumblr]

no, i haven't made a post about every number yet

[swinginsportscutebasketball]

I'm sorry to let you know that 100,000,001 (one hundred million and one) is divisible by 17 and because of that, so is every 16-digit number that is four digits repeated four times e.g. 1234123412341234

[wumblr]

[slytherverse]

friend is trying to sell her car bc shes moving to a state with vehicle inspections and her prius lives in defiance of god. anyway so shes cleaning it out at my apartment complex bc we have dumpsters and her roommate forgot to pay the trash bill. i will be liveblogging my experience watching her do this and you will understand why i refuse to help her

[slytherverse]

-threw out the floor mats entirely bc theres magic the gathering cards molded into them

-found an axe formely belonging to a friend who is now in jail

-four trash bags worth of clothes and an untold amount of fast food trash

[slytherverse]

guys theres a pile of chicken bones down there from wingstop im so scared

AND i hear "hey dude can i use ur washing machine real quick" and she pulls out a pair of pants from, i shit you not, 1940 and theyre moldified into a SOLID. those pants survived a war and couldnt last a year in her fucking shitbox istfg

[slytherverse]

shes cleaning out the Broken Glass Area of the backseat (normal thing to have. been there FOUR FUCKING YEARS)

fuckin blindly sticks her hand under the seat and pulls out a fully intact URANIUM GLASS PLATE. "for you :D" ... GIRL

[slytherverse]

"oh no i disturbed the nursery section of The Colony!!! D: D: " awesomesauce. i hope an asteroid comes and kills us both

[slytherverse]

i swear to god im not exaggerating here. anyway heres an incomplete list of everything we found inside:

-axe (stolen)

-earrings made out of dentures

-flavored condoms

-a quilt

-hello kitty sweater (stolen from a DIFFERENT ex-friend with a felony charge)

-deer spine

-baseball sized wad of human hair

-""sex apron""

-uranium glass plate

-pile of non-uranium non-car glass

-rollerblades

-complete phantom of the opera cd set

-magic the gathering cards mold-ified into a brick

-lego millennium falcon

-a CUTLASS??? (for "self defense")

-the back bumper of the car

-an entire fucking ant colony

and finally, perhaps the most disturbing,

-a pack of vanilla wax melts, inexplicably unmelted and intact despite sitting inside this terrarium-with-a-prius-wrapped-around-it in 100 degree heat for god knows how long

[slytherverse]

i must stress: before today she DID NOT KNOW about the ant colony in there . she thought ants just really liked to climb inside anytime the car was parked.

[slytherverse]

guys i cant take it anymore

[slytherverse]

bringing this post back bc i found a video of her offering me the phantom cd set and i said no because the box was coated in a syrupy mat of human hair and she was confused because "we know whos hair it is" ???? as if the origin of the hair was the only fucking holdup

[cryptonature]

It’s really that simple.

Withhold time/resources from organizations building an anti-human future

[stargatevp]

If no one bothered enough to make it , then why tf should we bother to watch it?

#FUCK AI

[guooey]

I still haven’t recovered from this

[flowerb-0y]

[the-bored-coffee]

ALAKWNSJAKWNALAKSKSKSMN RIGHT UNDER THIS I GOT AN AD FOR A ANIMAL HOSPITAL OSOWJWJSJDJDNDJDJDJ

[guooey]

[bowowark]

“character who gained weight to show how they are healthy now” trope my beloved

[demonadelem]

[dog-teeth]

brick from a buried 17-1800s wall we found at work :)

[sermna]

I like to say "my mises! They're not en place!" sometimes when I forget something while cooking but no one ever thinks it's funny

[mammalianmammals]

Real Elephant Shrew Hours.

[stonestoryrpg]

Some spider attack animations~