I already posted something similar on my main, but given what Pope Leo and Archbishop Dame Sarah have recently published about AI, I figured I’d put this out here when I’m feeling well.
As y’all probably all know, I am schizophrenic. I talk about it a tad too much. But I wanted to talk about symptoms and al. So, schizophrenia has three ‘categories’ of symptoms: positive, negative and cognitive. Positive symptoms are what most people think of when they think of schizophrenia: hallucinations, delusions, paranoia, etc. negative symptoms are common daily processes that are removed from my thinking process; basically, things we do not experience that ‘sane’ people do. Inability to feel pleasure, apathy, flat or disordered affect, etc. cognitive symptoms affect essential brain functions: your memory, ability to speak, write, and think ‘clearly’, and basic executive function. I am semi verbal irl because of this and struggle deeply with complex communication.
Before I was on certain medications, I could barely be understood. My thoughts, words, and writing sense to *me*, but to others I was impossible to understand. Sane people were used to the ‘correct’ ways of speaking and writing, and I was unable to do that. It was deeply isolating and aggravating, and it made it impossible to do basically anything. Had I not figured out the right cocktail I would have dropped out of high school, and never gone to college or get a job. Now, on meds, I was able to do those things, but only with extreme difficulty. And while most of the time these days I can pretend to be sane, that is never a guaranteed, and I absolutely have days where I am back to stage one. the world doesn’t stop just because I am unable to function. The bills don’t care. My boss doesn’t care. I have to suck it up and move on.
I know the problem I’m facing here is society. It is a systemic issue, and will require radical reform to fix. I know AI is a bandaid, not that fix. But I also know that society ain’t gonna change as fast as I need it to in order to function as expected in sane society. So when I have to send emails, or call people, or write a memo, yes, I do use AI. I fully agree that my cognitive difficulties, which are caused by a serious neurological disorder, should not have to be ‘fixed’ for me to live. I should be able to exist as I am. But that is not today’s reality. And making comments about someone being stupid, moronic, lazy, worthless and pathetic, using cognitive disabilities as insult, sometimes even the r word, is all textbook ableism. telling someone with a serious mental disability that they’re evil because they’re trying to find a support aid when so few others exist… in my opinion, acting like that to a disabled person trying to find help is pretty damn evil too. These ableist insults, are constantly and consistently said to me any time I mention (accidentally, because I try pretty damn hard to hide it) that I use ai to write my emails. Yes, including the insults regarding my cognitive abilities. Yes, including the r word. And I’m so, so tired of it.
I know there are serious, severe problems with ai. I live in an area that is in drought a majority of the year, and my community , including me, are rightful protesting the data center being bought near our only fresh water source. If I had another accessible, free, easy to use support aid, I would use it. But I don’t. And heaven knows if I’m too disabled to consistently write an email, I’m too disabled to build my own support aid solution that people say I should as their only solution.
It’s okay for people to hate me for using ai. They have a right to their opinions and feelings. I agree that ai is horrible for the environment, and that things have to change. But if one more person regurgitates the most ableist bullshit I’ve ever heard to my face and then use the problems of ai as their defense, I’m rolling with the schizophrenic stereotype and popping them in the mouth.
You’re free to reblog and add on, but please be respectful.
