THAR SHE BLOWS!! A LIFTED BLACK FORD F150 WITH TINTED WINDOWS. PASSENGER PRINCESS, GET THE HARPOONS!!!!!

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@yeaboomerang
THAR SHE BLOWS!! A LIFTED BLACK FORD F150 WITH TINTED WINDOWS. PASSENGER PRINCESS, GET THE HARPOONS!!!!!
Feels like a bad idea maybe
it's called a ball python because it is a python(🐍) that ball(🟠)
nothing in the rules says a python can't play basketball
Squidward clocking out of the Krusty Krab and heading to the nearest gay after hours event
Come on, now, op. We all know squidward doesn’t go to the club.
He’s one of those “I’m not like other gays” gays who goes home to a bottle of wine and his obscure 50s vaudeville records, and then mopes because he can never find a boyfriend.
I love this website so much
the football analysis we all need
I've said it before, and I'll say it again: one of the only few bad things about Tolkien's legendarium is that it makes 90% of all other fantasy worlds look either completely or somewhat mediocre in comparison.
Like, what do you mean you don't have a fictional language for your fantasy world? WEAKLINGS
This man right here gets it.
Yep, Tolkien's linguistic puns and translation jokes are legendary. Although it's not accurate to say the in-universe origin of the books is that an elf told the stories to Tolkien. Rather, Tolkien is translating them from a volume he found, written in Westron, called the Red Book of Westmarch. This contains Bilbo's book (The Hobbit), Frodo and Sam's additions to it, (LoTR), as well as Bilbo's translations of Elvish histories he encountered during his time in Rivendell (The Silmarillion). These were all in one volume and Tolkien himself made the editorial decision to publish them all separately. Even more fascinating, the Red Book is not even the original writings, which of course would have been lost by now to time and disintegration. It's actually a copy of the original, or probably a copy of a copy, multiple times removed. And it wasn't copied from the original, either, but from a copy that made it to Gondor where it was annotated and corrected. There's probably even more to its history that I'm forgetting, but yeah, even this kind of metatextual provenance was something Tolkien thought a lot about that very few writers even consider anymore. Which, of course, they're not obligated to; but the fact that Tolkien was even interested in that kind of thing just shows how above and beyond he went
Professors will do literally anything other than grade your exams (valid)
Getting down on my knees and thanking the humans who invented dishwashers and washing machines.
InsNe that dishwashers are more efficient and easier than just washing them manually but they also use less water. It’s a win win situation
They ALSO sterilize dishes, due to operating at a far higher temperature than human hands could ever tolerate. It's a win every way.
Made this post about 15 minutes after the repair guy who fixed the pump on my dishwasher packed up his tools and left, as the dishwasher was whirring along doing my dishes from that morning.
He said the exact same thing, which I did not know before that, so spreading this knowledge.
Hey, do you guys remember my 18th Century Life Coach, Gary?
He has finally accepted what people have been telling him for years ("Hey, dude, you kinda look like Ben Franklin. You should capitalize on that")
Gary IMMEDIATELY gets out there and takes the most Ben Franklin photo I've ever seen
I just
Behold
"I want my media to be historically accurate"
Cool, so you want natural fiber costumes with no/nuanced corset slander, people wearing colors, historical hairstyles, people wearing hats or headcoverings and long sleeves outside during the day, no potatoes or pumpkins in pre-columbian Europe, actors with textured skin and wrinkles, minimal makeup, consulting HEMA groups and weapons scholars for all the weapons and fight scenes, a good soundtrack that includes traditional instruments?
Oh, you mean you want 100% white people. Even in crowd scenes in port cities. There's a different word for that.
There is still time. It's never too late to transition
Story Time:
Working in retail is really fun, and the times when major fuck-ups happen, they can be either anxiety-attack inducing, or make it possible to get through the rest of your god-awful shift with a smile depending on the customer. My all-time favorite absolute fuck-up is as follows:
This kind woman is just doing her thing. She scans her membership card from her keychain. The register beeps to acknowledge the scan. We continue as usual. Neither of us notice right away, but after I’ve scanned a few more items, I hear a very quiet, “Um,” from the lady, very polite. I look at her. She is looking at the screen of my register, blinking. I, too, look.
And lo and behold. There is a charge of over four-thousand dollars ($4,000) worth of garlic bread staring us in the face. There are no words for a minute. We’re just… in awe. How did this happen? How the hell did this happen?
She didn’t even have garlic bread in her cart.
I sputter a partial apology - I was incapable of forming actual sentences in the moment - and try to void the garlic bread. Since there was no garlic bread to scan, I try to manually remove $4,000-some from this transaction.
Well, the registers don’t like it when you try to void off more than five dollars ($5) from a transaction, so naturally it pings my manager for confirmation, but she’s not by her pager.
At this point, both myself and the lady are just… dumbfounded. She’s not even mad. I’m not even all that embarrassed. Both of us are just looking at the screen. There’s a bit of laughter, but it’s mostly just… confusion.
I have to call through the whole store for my manager on the intercom because she’s not answering. She shows up, ready to override and void it, when she too, sees what exactly is being voided.
“What… did you do?”
“I genuinely. Have literally. No. Idea.”
She voids it, and I go to finish the transaction and tell the woman her total (minus the garlic bread). My register pings. It tells me that she hasn’t scanned her membership card. Odd. I distinctly remember her doing that. The woman goes to scan her card again, and I notice that her library card is stuck to her membership card. I tell her gently, and she separates the two and scans her card.
My manager, hovering nearby still, sees this and says, “I think it mistook the barcode of her other card for garlic bread, and the remaining digits were read as the price.”
And that’s when the laughter really came over us. There were no hard feelings at all. In fact, the woman was incredibly glad that the receipt still showed the garlic bread and the voiding of. I will remember it until the end of time, my only regret in the entire situation being that I didn’t take a damn picture, because she has proof and I don’t. But I swear to God it happened.
TDLR; Library Card Charged $4,000 of Garlic Bread.
that’s just how valuable library cards are. each one is worth at least $4000 of garlic bread
A picture is worth a thousand words, a library card is worth $4000 worth of garlic bread, if we can figure out how many words the average library card can check out at once, we can probably work out a picture-to-garlic bread conversion here, too.
She's being so big and brave.
prev dont leave this in the tags
Literally the definition of imperialism and classism. Doesn’t matter how many peasants you sacrifice as long as the most powerful piece is left standing
Proximity of bishops to the rulers promotes theocratic oppression
the horse is so fuckable
I love the implication that, as Larry is an "unpaid trainee", the dog is paid.
Merry Halloween! finally...(uploading the full comic here)
(also....I have a patreon)
something something dykes on bikes 🏍️🌈💨 (because it's not pride without some l e a t h e r)
[patreon]
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