le poof

mischievous beast | sometimes I post things | I'm so good at descriptions guys you gotta believe me

[desinteresse]

Men who talk shit about gold diggers underestimate the grit it takes to put up with an insufferable man, even when money is involved. We should be thanking them for their service like they are veterans.

[little-trash-ghost]

Can't leave this in the tags..

[spacemancharisma]

do y’all remember usernames??? from back when every fuckin website didn’t need your email phone number home address social security number just to join/sign up for something?? when you could make website-specific accounts that weren’t linked to literally anything else??? they tried to boil us like a frog slowly switching to “username/email” and then just asking for your email. but I remember. I remember usernames.

[elfagito]

every friend group has a corpse in it. if you think yours doesn't, YOU'RE the corpse.

[appri-dot]

Shapeshifter who gets horribly grotesque and mutilated when flustered

[appri-dot]

Its actually so important to me

[tumblebagel]

Yeah okay this is going on main

[south-africa-official]

i never really got it when people made posts about light pollution and seeing all the stars for the first time and crying. i always assumed that everyone has gone on a road trip to a bortle 1.0 place and seen stars like that, and it's fantastic, but not like life changing. and then i went to europe last month and was in a mountaintop village of like 300 people and could see about 5 stars in the sky. like fewer than i can see from my home in a big metropolitan city.

my apologies to the non-africans, i did not realise how fucked your sky is

[andmaybegayer]

When I moved to Europe I was like oh, I'll get to see the Northern Sky, what a novel experience. No you don't! There's no sky to see! It's for real crazy how good the skies are in like, Suburban Johannesburg.

[power-chords]

This Dan Piraro comic always makes me cry.

[tuttle-did-it]

When I lived in London there was a murder of crows that lived near me. I fed them often, they brought me presents (shiny rubbish and cigarette butts they found on the floor to thank me.)

When I moved, I’m certain they understood I was leaving because I had all my stuff and gave them lots of food and compliments.

But, they chased down my friend who lived in the next burrough over. They had recognised that friend with me several times and followed them to their house when they couldn’t find me.

They adopted my friend and it was now my friend’s job to bring them snacks and receive the presents.

This was maybe 6-7 years ago.

I visited London last year. Went to see my friend. The crows all not only recognised me, they tracked me down. We got into my friend’s flat and not twenty minutes later there was chaos on the balcony.

We open the curtains, the entire fucking murder is there shouting because they wanted to see me.

Crows are the very best birds.

[cannibalchicken]

[guerrillatech]

[lemoncat101]

[boomer-mythology-destroyer]

[isaactea]

[tlirsgender]

Can I be so honest I saw hella spoilers before I watched project hail mary & based on the soundless gifset of Grace running around jumping on counters n shit I thought it was gonna be played for laughs WAY more than it was. Like I knew he was gonna try to run but I was sitting there like "ohhhh this is fucked up actually"

[tlirsgender]

Like the scary music started and I was like wait

[tlirsgender]

Out of context without the sound on: lmao look at him go

In context, with sound: ok so this is blind animal terror desperately scrambling trying to escape from death. I thought it was gonna be silly My bad

[dangerous-crow-boy]

Haven’t posted about plastic in a minute. Rest assured, I am still hard at work eating all plastic on earth

[dangerous-crow-boy]

They could never hurt me in any way that matters. I will not be kept from my calling

[heedra]

if i couldn't have any of the obvious first choice superpowers i would want my power to be the power of i can go anywhere and its not a problem. the way this power would work is that as long as im peaceful and respectful i can go anywhere and nobody will see it as weird or see me as a target for hostility. i can walk into a cool house to politely peep the decor or walk into a tall office building to politely peep the decor or walk around a city at night alone to politely peep the decor or walk into a strange facility to politely peep the decor or walk onto a plane and ride the plane to its destination and then walk around there to politely peep the decor and its fine as long as im chill. no need to make me faster or anything i can just walk at a normal pace. its good for the soul.

[grocki]

sci fi is all about getting so scared and ripping tubes out of yourself. people miss this

[grocki]

sci fi is all about desperately trying to reclaim your violated bodily autonomy. it’s all about asserting that you are a being with agency, and you can choose what happens to your own person, even if that’s ripping tubes out of yourself. and also sometimes an alien is there

[phantomrose96]

Office comedy where the pilot episode newbie is being walked around to meet all their colleagues and they get introduced to the pair of coworkers who are snappy, electric, flirty, filling each other's coffee orders, finishing each other's sentences, desk leaning, bedroom eyes, feet kicking

And when the newbie asks someone "Are those two uh, you know?" the seasoned coworker goes "Aha yeah. Divorced 🙂"

[phantomrose96]

And this isn't a broken-up couple on the rebound. They've absolutely always been like this with each other save for the 11 months they were married, during which time every single day was a murder-suicide risk.

[phantomrose96]

Two people who are each other's absolute everything unless you try to make them share a kitchen and a budgeting system

[targetedknowledge]

[what-even-is-thiss]

Kids sitcom about a group of friends where all of them are a part of secret magical or superhero based underground society that don’t know about each other and they all think that the others are ignorant normies that they have to protect from their magical shenanigans.

[what-even-is-thiss]

The witch kid, the superhero sidekick, the cryptid hunter, and the half fairy kid are all unknowingly trying to hide the same talking cat from the principal of their school and the talking cat doesn’t tell any of them about each other because it’s currently getting many extra helpings of treats in exchange for its silence.

[what-even-is-thiss]

During the episode where they all find out about each other’s secret lives there’s obviously a slow look over to the cat who’s like “well you never asked. Anyways, completely unrelated but I’ve gotta go.”

[sistersorrow]

As more seasons pass, it's eventually revealed the rich kid who bullies the main cast is secretly child of some dark lord all the societies fear and eventually the bully works with the main cast to defeat them in the series finale or movie

[what-even-is-thiss]

Yeah I’m down for some 8th graders taking down the devil that’s good tv

[the-punforgiven]

I'm just saying, if you're going to worldbuild magic being a "raw, primal force, akin to and interweaving with nature itself" you gotta explain to me why animals don't use it

[the-punforgiven]

I know the normal answer is "they just aren't smart enough for it" but idk I've seen enough media where a character uses a spell in a moment of brain-off panic ilI feel like animals could probably stumble into a spell or two like, accidentally

[the-punforgiven]

Also how funny would it be to see a completely normal regular bear cast magic missile outta nowhere

[the-punforgiven]

Also there is no way ravens wouldn't figure out spells, tbh

They're smart fuckin birds, I believe in them

Either through observing or just figuring shit out ravens could 100% learn how to cast spells I'm sure of it

[the-punforgiven]

Dogs can also cast Magic Missile but every time they do the projectile is shaped like a bone or a stick and they chase after it

[rathayibacter]

group of wizards who ask this in-universe, and after extensive study learn to their surprise that animals are casting spells all the time, just that their magic is so fundamental as to be unrecognizable to humans. turns out the only reason acorns grow on trees is because squirrels keep wishing for them.

[asteroidtroglodyte]

The Sun kills vampires because Trees worship it