Evaluation Process for Thunder Bay Art of Hosting Training
Led by YSI’s Youth Leadership Circle
Purpose of the evaluation: gain an understanding of the impact of the gathering on people who have been there.
What we want to know: Does any of this learning this weekend help you unload the baggage you’re carrying, help you re-calibrate yourself so that you’re able to do the work you want to be able to do in the way you think is best for your community?
Candace’s tool Kaanaamodmii: Finding out where people are at with physical, spiritual, mental, emotional health and what they need for their learning journey.
We asked participants on Friday which area they felt most needed attention. On Sunday we asked them when they felt activated in a particular area.
Friday, December 9 responses:
Balancing physical and emotional self in order to give support to others
Putting others before myself - need self care
Self care makes me emotionally stable - need it
Mental and emotional - drives me to participate more, channel emotions and drive change
Making me seek deeper and more impactful work, no settling!!!
Not taking care of emotional - skipped counselling to come here
Compassion fatigue - allows me to add high professional value to community, good resources, draining sometimes because I overwork and don’t take care of myself, the more I learn the more I want to fill
How do I support and take care of my community while taking care of myself?
Need self care and self love
Sunday, December 11 responses:
When I was able to connect others in the room to new resources
HEART, “Every heart needs glue.” It’s okay to make mistakes and be vulnerable… but always keep going.
Our truth was made a lie. Water is purple.
Connecting with elders, grandmothers, hearing them say how we collectively bring them hope for their grandchildren
I connected to emotion when hosting a pro-action cafe and it changed my project.
Listening to the grandmothers.
Coming to the training on the 1st day and seeing some familiar faces who I know are doing good, important and valuable work.
Walking alone, time for reflection
It is important to make people comfortable with real emotion
When grandmothers spoke about truth
When Tim and Tuesday shared their teachings
How can I plan to help each person?
Tears healing and cleansing
How opening and caring people are
“Indigenous peoples have so much to give to all nations on Turtle Island”
Letting my tears go. Finally.
Hearing about everyone’s personal experiences and how it gives the passion to do even the most difficult of work.
Listening to student who got emotional - it touched me
Holding the memories and mourning for my friends and community members stolen by the state
Michelle’s words, openness and honesty in welcoming us, reminded me to be open and humble. I was touched.
“Why is this important?” “Time is now.” Candace. Deep reaching questions, to help surface reality.
Sharing lived experiences, and heart healing, songs from different languages and hearing the language
When I used my voice to tell those listeners what is really important to me and youth like me.
Sharing trauma to contribute to the meaningful conversation
Connected to emotion in the interview when I was asked what I was going to take away from this weekend
Getting to know people at meals and various adventures
I felt connected to (and overcome by) emotion when I shared what gifts I received during this experience, this gathering.
Expressing care and love for Indigenous people. Expressing this was challenging because I feel it is met with skepticism. I felt sad but I know overall this is a good step.
Speaking about the pain and struggle of my Indigenous friend.
Hug Fest 2016, telling Lacey and Nikeeta about my “news”
I connected with my emotions when we shared after the pro-action cafe exercise. Laughter and sadness.
Meeting Quinn and connecting with Cliff
Gratitude of sharing with photographer
When one of the grandmothers talked about everyone being born pure. I teared up because I was taught the opposite.
Feeling others around me and how vulnerable people were. I could feel emotion because they were almost mine too.. But not quite.
I felt emotion when Laura taught me to slow down and take time to understand
When I opened my eyes on Sat & Sun morning
Feeling valued in the action planning cafe
How does it affect your work? Physical - fuelling my body with nutrients to push myself to be present
Home? Unsure of my sense of home. But home is also where the heart is. My heart is in my home. My home is in my heart. My home is also in your heart.
I’m trying to find a place of balance so I am tracking the moments when I feel and don’t feel in balance. Makes me more thoughtful, quieter and more deliberate
I am moving out of extreme physical challenges, into a place where spiritual strength is building and leading me
I’m tired, maybe not as present in the work
From the moment I felt my senses came when I woke up Saturday and Sunday morning
When Jermaine led in exercise stretch
The exercise with rubbing hands together and sending energy inwards to our fabulous group
The sensory activity on Sunday
My walk outside on Saturday, feeling the sun and crisp air against my skin
I connected with my physical self when I stepped and pounded on my chest to connect to poetry
Playing with the kids, learning gymnastics from Bryton, making a 2 minute handshake with Eddie and dancing Saturday after supper with friends
Reminder when we use our feet, to find and keep rhythm, to move forward, to step back, to walk together
Getting up after supper to dance
I connected with my body when I went to the gym and ran on the treadmill with Eddie
Feeling emotionally drained leading to physical fatigue
Nourishing lunch, good meatballs. Yummy.
During the closing/ harvest poem. Feet and heart.
I felt connected to my body during the harvesting poem. It was challenging at first but then it felt completely easeful.
Feeling really tired from all of the reflection and sharing
Knowing when my body has hit it’s limit
The call of the people - the call of the drum
Super good food and laughter
Walks in the cold, be in the now and present
Delicious meatballs, cold outdoor air and spirit fire
The fire outside and the cold of the fire outside, feeling my knees bend in the cold
Taking off my shirt and swimming in a pool… never happens
Dancing with everyone during Naty, Krista and Hannah
Dancing after the heart work, just dancing with my favorite people #danceparty
Listening to my body and following it. Not ignoring it and letting it flow. Through listening to body.
Dance parties with Robin, Naty, Lyric, Adam, Tues and Quinn
I need to think more about hosting my body. It is uncomfortable in my skin.
Transparency with the struggle
Spiritual purpose - how to stand on my own and how do I help my community stand on their own?
I cannot care for my community if I am not caring for myself. I need to nourish myself so I can nourish others.
Learning that happens both ways - in often unexpected ways
I am able to give less of myself than I would love to give right now
Feeling disconnected from western, social “normal” groups/ initiatives and spaces. Also feeling energized by empowering youth identity through cultural and spiritual spaces
The fire I feel which motivates me is largely spiritual which doesn’t fit into our society very well. I have spent a lot of time in a mental space (school), but looking for tools and techniques to fit the spiritual into the physical and mental spaces of society
Being here is reminding me why I am where I’ve found myself. Why creation needs me to do my best work.
I close up/ communicate less/ I hide a little / I carry that burning empathy. I connect with my heart’s voice. I am forced to slow down.
Balance between both worlds
I want to connect with people who have the same spirit fire, with people who want to be ignited and I am ready to seek them out
Positive hope, faith, positive belief
Self-care is helping me push to becoming a youth worker
Moving from mental to spiritual makes me feel better so I can do better for my community
More committed to serve my community as spiritual healing
Telling stories of my community and our issues made me feel like I was home
I felt connected to spirit when Candace shared deeply with all of us
Feeding my spirit while talking to youth and elders while having lunch
When we sat around the fire and shared song & story of grief - healing turned into sacred
Listening to the words and teachings of the grandmothers
Moment I connected with spirit was this morning when I intended to be a witness, however I felt spirit lead me to participate in the proaction cafe
When Cliff shared his life path and dreams with me
Felt spirit from the moment I opened my eyes on Sat & Sun morning
I felt connected to spirit in between - I felt spirit and love in conversations with Adam. When Tina & Laura opened up with song
Spiritual - song, expression, singing, don’t hold back
Finding out where you are Indigenous and what is your teaching?
Being brought back to myself, my purpose, after a long spiritual drought, by the spirit of YSI circle and family
Prayer, song and sacred fire
Prayer, round dance songs, under the moonlight
Dancing to grandmothers songs
I connected with my spirit during open space technology when I shared how I care for my spirit and my aha moment that helped me find my spirituality
When hosting open space, feeling confident that everyone was open and listening to what I was saying
Sharing my tweet from my open space discussion
Being surrounded by nature vs. the city
Ceremony felt the Thunders move within - gift and voice
Being around the elders and finding connections
Feeling supported by such good people
Food to spirit, sema to land, songs to hearts
Seeing my feelings expressed by others from different spaces
Even though I felt uncomfortable as a non-Indigenous person and very emotional, I felt my spirit strongly telling me to persevere in what I am passionate about and learned that discomfort is positive.
When we sang in the circle and were invited to join in
Being able to join in this space and saying hello, welcome in my language
Always looking for the stars, when I see them I remember how small I am and all the skies I have been under and I feel home
Through medicine and ceremony. When the elders offered their words. Through being in a safe space and feeling the outside through medicine.
Songs and teachings shared, especially at the spirit fire
Sunrise ceremony and prayer - surprise visit from Manee - giving tobacco and asking for my spirit name!
On sunday morning when we discussed how truth and empathy are a part of reconciliation
Making connections with loved ones I have known all of creation
My peers in the community inspire and motivate me
Logistics mid in planning and hosting this training
Between mental and emotional, allows me to be responsive, compassionate and intersectional
Mental intensity and emotional intensity are connected. It means I am not as attuned to conversation, more distracted. I’m also learning a lot of uncomfortable things about myself.
Education - it will make me eligible in regards to colonial systems to do what I do naturally - social work
If I forget my balance, 3 my inner work, I am of no use to my community
Makes me a tight and unbalanced loaded weapon
To approach and explore new concepts and ideas carefully, reflectively and with humility.
Limitless capacity for thought
Feeling called upon to help others in their journey on discovering their leadership capacity
Clarifies my closest community and focuses my choices.
My intuition told me to use my own life experiences and learn tools and resources so I can further implement the help I’d like to promote.
Mental learning and my busy mind has made me want to do more, learn more and educate myself on things that matter.
Always doing brainwork, keeps my focus on mental work. Can limit my ability to stop and just be present when needed. To connect to a from a grounded, kind place
Working on spiritual is working on mental at the same time. To be mentally well, you godda be spiritually well
I used my mind all weekend while learning and retaining the information shared with me
Hosting an impromptu open space session
Inspired to think deeply about what work settler people can be doing to move ourselves toward truth so Indigenous folks aren’t always having to educate
Contentment and belonging
This is hosting, not facilitation
Living in the moment and not outside the room
Connected to mental self through conversations at cafe and action planning
Responsibility bestowed on myself
Humor and laughter - pray and smudge
Actively listening to the conversation
Taking breaks to ease the mind and not over think about all the stuff in the world
In moments where there was clear communication and what was communicated resonated with me through words.
Getting out of my head and letting my heart go with the flow.
The teachings from Tim and Tuesday.
Thinking through barriers to community engagement and transformative justice - articulating thoughts as questions rather than assertions - or trying to..
Tim and Tuesday’s teaches, felt my mind stretched. Logistics, logistics, logistics.
I connected with myself continually through the weekend. But especially at the observatory and during Gerard’s talk.
During the diverge/ converge teach
Going to pick up the elder from OLG
Listening and meeting Aviaq - possibilities of writing and reflecting on how writing helps to connect me to other people and myself
“There is no reconciliation without truth”, always checking back with the truth. CLARITY.
Diverge and converge teach
Advocating for 2 spirit - all aspects of self
Just moved… mental self is still back home
Reflecting on how I will change
Realizing that I am intelligent. I am good at other things that others aren’t. I can ask for help with things.
Thinking about reconciliation using diverge and converge
Sharing on Friday about current/ most connected to. I was in a focused work state.
Starting to understand my peers, myself and my intentions.
Hosting a conversation for world cafe
Indenamowin - thought and reflection
I didn’t experience mental very much. But this is good because was dominating me before. This weekend helped balance me.
Fourfold practice and other teachings that help think about systems change work in a metaphorical way yet tangible and adaptable way
During each of the theory sessions at AoH
When I spoke of my hopes for a career to someone I had just met
When I asked questions today
I feel connected to my mind when I reflected as a host on the questions and reflected on my/ our project
From the moment I opened my eyes to wake up on Sat & Sun
Talking to Naty about our work
