Zhenfei

[nothing-impt]

Somwhere before God Games

[iwritelmao]

Penelope: hey since you’re “not my kind and gentle husband” could you move that wedding bed bc I’m actually supposed to share that with my husband so…

Odysseus: *has just killed 108 people* *has not seen his wife in twenty years* *goes batshit at this bc THATS THE OLIVE TREE WHERE THEY FIRST MET!!*

Telemachus: oh hell nah, idgaf who you are no one yells at my-

Penelope: NO?! YOU WONT?! YEAH, I KNOW BECAUSE YOURE MY MAN! SO DONT PULL THAT EMO SHIT AGAIN OR YOULL SLEEP IN THE WEAPONS ROOM

…

Telemachus: my parents are perfect for each other

[sarnai4]

First family dinner back in Ithaca

Penelope: Want some pork for dinner, Darling?

Odysseus (gagging): No, Beloved. I don't think I'll ever look at a pig the same way.

Telemachus: Ooh! Dad, how about some bee-

Odysseus (terrified): No! Don't even finish that suggestion! (Whispering) He'll hear you.

(Penelope and Telemachus look at one another with concern)

Penelope: Well, we also have some fish.

Odysseus: Perfect!

(Odysseus proceeds to stab it as violently as possible)

Telemachus:...Mom, was he like this before or...?

Penelope (swooning): No, but I'm into it.

[yukilarus]

SCYLLA

[m1rafaye]

"we must do what it takes to survive."

Scylla inspired by the song from the thunder saga! Epic the musical my beloved how I love you

[anniflamma]

Odysseus is "There are other way"-ing Zeus This is to everyone in that comment section!

There is a part 2 now...

[quinnduck]

Odysseus: *gently hands Athena baby Telemachus*

Athena: …you were PREGNANT AND YOU DIDNT TELL ME?!

Odysseus: what?- no-

Athena: DO YOU KNOW HOW DANGEROUS THAT IS?! I WAS TRAINING YOU!

Odysseus: no I wasn’t the one-

Athena: THAT POOR BOY WAS PROBABLY SO SQUISHED IN YOUR HELMET! LOOK AT HOW SMALL HE IS!!

[murasaki-cha]

*a few months after The Ithaca Saga*

Odysseus: *wakes up at the dead of night drenched in cold sweat*

Penelope: Love? What's wrong?

Odysseus: That prophet son of a bitch- IT WAS ME!

Penelope: What??

Odysseus: I WAS THE MAN WHO WAS HAUNTING ALL ALONG!!

Penelope: *pulling him down and hugging him* ok dear just go back to sleep.

*meanwhile in the Underworld*

Tiresias: Fucking finally that dumbass

[kedreeva]

I offered to come check on my friend's animals while she's away for the long weekend

She thinks I'm joking

But I'm ready

[eunyisadoran]

Wait. Are there 200, but to be numbered 1-250? Did I read those tags right? 😲

[kedreeva]

Yes there are actually 202 of them, the company sent 2 extra in the package, and I will be numbering them on the bottom with sharpie marker 1-250. This will ensure even if she manages to find all 202, she will never truly stop feeling like there might be a tiny duck somewhere unknown in the house. Lurking. Waiting to appear at the strangest time.

[talesfromtreatment]

#sometimes you must be gently evil to your friends#so they know you love them enough

very very important

[kittychan-sings-enka]

presented without commentary or apology

[tariqah]

Why OP

[adulthoodisokay]

slam that fucking unmute button

[danielledreamsthedayaway]

🙌💛🙆

[danasn0wc4t]

“I know I’ve heard this before. Is this from an anime or someth-OH FUCK!”

[omarandjohnny]

@cowboybuckleys

[thenewborndeity]

Behond one if the funniest things ive seen on reddit in a hot minute

[nonaferatu]

happy 2025 to this post

[jadedgenasi]

I've seen this before, but it's been years and it just came across my Twitter in its dying days. The words are from a favorite author of mine, Maggie Stiefvater, and they are the words I most need to hear when it comes to dealing with chronic pain and illness. I didn't need this the first time I saw it, six years ago. I need it now. Maybe you do, too.

[happyk44]

[Text ID: a very wise woman gave me a piece of advice. She told me to start a journal. In the morning, she said, write down the percentage that I felt I was that day. 20% Maggie. 90% Maggie. Then I should write down what I accomplished that day. I thought at that point she was going to tell me to admire how much I'd gotten done each day despite M a being ill. I didn't want that, I didn't need a pep talk. I needed my brain.

But that wasn't what she said. She told me: write down what you've managed to do on a 20% day, what you've managed to do on a 40% day. Eventually you'll have a guide so when you wake up and you're a 20%, you won't try to do the things you do on a 40% day. You'll know you can just go watch a movie or sit with your goats or whatever and not feel guilt, because you were never going to write words you could keep or be able to exercise or whatever.

And that was the right way.

It meant I no longer labored for 12 hours each day, doing nothing but trying to smash my way through a draft. Instead I slowly began to write bits and bobs in on my good days. A funny thing happened then: once I was not spending every second forcing myself to do things I couldn't, I found I had enough energy to actually start to work on myself. To look for patterns in my good and bad days. To research healthcare providers and new studies on what was wrong with me still. Slowly I found I was able to chain more of the 60% days together, then 80% days. Slowly I began to relaize that although it was taking months, I was improving overall. /end ID]

[haunted-80s-arcade-game-deactiv]

Who’s contributed more to society?

furry porn artists

jk rowling

Voting ended onMay 12, 2024

[haunted-80s-arcade-game-deactiv]

This is breaking containment into the TERF enclosures which I very much expected, but I will happily shout from the rooftops that furry porn artists are more productive and beneficial to society than JKR’s incessant whining on the elon musk dick riding app about how much she hates trans people

[june-egbert-official]

1439 votes but 288 reblogs because the TERFs are afraid of the truth so they're just linking it directly to each other lmao

[strawberrynesquikphilosophies]

#get jkr to less than 1% I know we can do it

@demilypyro

[notherpuppet]

I didn’t mean to make a part two to this but my hand slipped

[adyophene]

I think they'd have a hilarious dynamic. [Royalflush/Lucihusk]

[diabloku]

Lucifer: *enters the hotel*

Alastor: I cast vicious mockery 😈

An animation my sis and I made for fun

Music is Perception Check by Tom Cardy.

[maravalenr]

The bugs are winning... but not for long