If you're comfortable accusing anyone of faking disability, you're not a real ally to disabled people
One time when I was a kid a group of girls and I had to treat another student for hypothermia by ourselves because she had so many invisible health issues that the adults we asked for help didn't believe us. The student in question was actively hallucinating. When I finally ran for help the people I grabbed were slow as shit to respond, casually joking about how "dramatic" the person in question was.
The kid was picked up by an ambulance 30 minutes later.
Now as an adult working in security I get SO MANY folks- upper-middle aged mostly- coming to me to 'rat out' people they think are faking it.
I was once sent into a bathroom because a client demanded that the "fucker won't get out, so go drag them out"- I was NEVER going to do that, so I did a wellness check instead. You know who it was? A person recently released from the hospital after a car accident. They had a hole in their skull and major hearing loss. They couldn't answer the owner because they couldn't HEAR the owner.
Another time about a homeless man who got around town by kicking the ground from his wheelchair. "You know he doesn't actually need that thing, his legs work fine, it's just for pity points"- Oh, so he's not paralyzed, his wheelchair is performative? Funny story Dale, I actually know that guy, he was backed over by a truck and has chronic pain from his shattered pelvis. But sure, let's make him stand up and walk everywhere so nobody feels too bad for him and tries to help him or something.
"She doesn't need that scooter, I've seen her get out of it."
"Look how fat he is, because he just rides around and refuses to get up."
"She doesn't really need that cane- she comes here without it all the time"
Sincerely, truly, from the bottom of my heart- as someone who isn't physically disabled but hears this shit all the time- fuck off
I'm 32. I was diagnosed with arthritis in both of my knees at the age of 23, likely due to ehlers danlos syndrome, which I am too averse to getting tested for for many reasons, some good, some bad. Out in public I like to use a cane because, in addition to it taking pressure off and lessening pain, one or even both of my knees will sometimes like to go, "It's quittin' time!" and just stop doing their job of supporting my weight, causing me to drop. Because I don't want to worry my parents, I don't use my cane around them. So we'll go out in public and I won't have it. I'm terrified that someone will confront me on those days. Now, it's true that I don't always need my cane when I have it, but when I do need it, it helps a LOT. I find myself sometimes exaggerating my limp when I don't have my cane as a way to signal, "Hey, it's cool, I AM actually disabled," and when I notice I feel sick with myself. A couple of times I've had people ask why I have a cane since I seem to be walking just fine. When I explain my knees sometimes stop working and it helps me not to fall they seem satisfied, but I always worry about that not being the case. I started leaning on it a lot more heavily to minimize the chances of people asking, and my left shoulder and elbow are almost as bad as my knees now. Some days they're worse. So hey, if you ever feel like calling someone out on their disability, unless they have told you themselves that they are faking it, maybe go fuck yourself first. I shouldn't have ever had to perform my disability, to the point of measurably making my physical health worse, just to forestall questions about my actual need for a mobility aid. I feel like I need to convince the able bodied people around me that I'm crippled enough to deserve my cane, and I hate that I actually do kinda have to.
