punk ;

[tastefullyoffensive]

[samiholloway]

I fell down these stairs just looking at this picture

[hasufin]

Cursed artifact: Stairs of Discontinuity.

Exposure has a 90% chance of causing a concussion, but a 10% chance of spontaneously increasing your parkour skill

[maxwellmcgrath]

remember when mattel released a t-rex extroyer toy that vomited its own skeleton for no apparent reason

[segamascott]

wdym for no apparent reason it's because it's awesome

[i-am-a-lazy-mess]

hate when I type :) and this 🙂 fucker appears. Go away you evil soul

[okthatsgreat]

why are scissors packaged the way they are it’s like they’re taunting us. Oh wow this is such a difficult awful packaging to get through that seems to cause physical damage to your hands as some sort of sick self defense mechanic, if only i had something to help get through it, something sharp perhaps

[okthatsgreat]

what sort of sick twisted game is it trying to play here

[okthatsgreat]

LEAVE ME ALONE

[feluka]

cats being capable of understanding accidents and even giving you a little head bonk to let you know you're still cool makes it infinitely funnier that they don't understand when you're trying to help them

cats when you step on their tail: i'll admit that was rather ouchie, but given the lifetime of goodwill and trust between us, one must conclude this booboo is but a fluke.

cats when you try to get their claws unstuck from the couch covering: this nefarious bitch has never had a single honorable intention in their dishonest and shameful life, this must be one of their sinister plots or perhaps even an attempt on my life,

[the-dracologist]

The fact that the reblogs were turned off is a travesty

[wizardarchetypes]

funniest convo ever with a guy who said 2 me "nobody uses journalism degrees" and i said "my mom has a bachelors in journalism" and he smiled like knowingly and said "yeah, but what does she do?" and i said "she runs a newspaper and publishes romance novels on the side." and he literally said "oh" and nothing else. like he ended the whole conversation there.

[wizardarchetypes]

i've just been informed he has a trombone degree. like the study of playing trombone. which is all well and good, i genuinely think we should all have the opportunity to chase our academic bliss but i do think the trombone studies guy should hesitate to judge the economic value of other people's degrees no

[107ths]

everyone who likes batman listen to redefine pure faith NOW

[107ths]

noah kahan the songwriter u are

[rat-king-they-them]

[rat-detector-24-official]

Rat detected. Make him jiggle.

[mutipede]

Holy shit I assume everyone is doing an up and down jiggle and maybe a side to side jiggle but if you jiggle your phone forward and backwards he jiggles in and out, too

[my-dailydreams]

[freezi-drink]

Hey um??

Via ID in alt

[sagetheunwise]

licking you bee wanted your sweat. that second one was just a freak I think

[sketchjay]

Original post by @slimetony

[gimmickbird-deactivated20231221]

Cowboy who introduces himself by telling you often and hard he cries feels like a tumblr text post

[beguilingcorpse]

actively finding out that there are people out there who have read 17776 but skimmed all the football parts. what do you mean. what do you mean. the whole thing is football. what do you mean. it’s not even like a play by play of modern american football it’s literally goofy. you skimmed the bit where people fling themselves into tornadoes? you skimmed the bit where they accidentally created a geologically impassable field? you skimmed GAME 27??? ENGAGE WITH WONDER AND CURIOSITY TOWARDS THINGS YOU MIGHT OTHERWISE ASSUME YOU ARE UNINTERESTED IN. YOU ARE ACTIVELY DEPRIVING YOURSELF OF THE NARRATIVE YOU’VE CHOSEN TO READ. YOU ARE ACTIVELY DEPRIVING YOURSELF OF THE EXPERIENCE OF DISCOVERY. READ THE FOOTBALL PARTS

[mothermara]

remember to bury the dead with a phone, everyone. these days the ferry terminal at the river styx wants you to download a fucking app

[userfish]

genuinely crying laughing

[ateazure]

"and the universe said i love you."

prints now available here!