Kiss in the rain

I've got dragons bitch 🐉🐉🐉

[totearup]

Harris gets the idea to do a video asking the team popular questions they get from comments. Bood explains his tattoos, Lucca assures everyone that he is actually 21 (his most popular question is 'who is letting that baby boy play hockey?'), Troy has to defend salmon as a snack again, Wyatt's question is why Marvel? And harris has to cut the video and just put in a screen that says 'answer cut for time'.

Anyway Harris finds Ilya in the gym doing pull-ups or something and Shane is in the background on a treadmill. Harris goes to Ilya "So your most popular question is, Can Ilya Rozanov fight?"

Ilya drops down to the floor and crosses his arms (slightly swollen and sweaty from the pull ups) and mostly fake scowls at the camera, "I see this question all the time because people are very tempted by my very hot husband." He wags a finger at the camera, "But he is mine you cannot take him. I can fight very well." He smirks at the camera now.

Then Shane pops up behind him, having stopped his run, "I can also fight." And Harris is like, "oh no one asked you that Shane."

And Shane shrugs, "No I know, but if they're asking Ilya because they're going to fight him to like, steal me or whatever, they should know I would also fight to stay."

And he also smirks at the camera and Ilya looks at him with such a gooey lovestruck look that it immediately becomes a meme.

Ilya reblogs the meme with a gif of Shane demolishing one of those punching bag games ala Hudson.

[cottagehillsunset]

Hayden is invited to one of Bood's barbeques some time down the line. It's a nice evening and the Centaurs are good people. But Hayden can't shake this weird feeling of unfamiliarity all night. And at first he chalks it up to him being at a Bood barbeque the first time, hanging out with a team that isn't his. And so he always ends up looking for Shane in the crowd because that's his best friend, that's his familiar person. Except the feeling doesn't go away as he watches Shane throughout the evening.

Shane is playing with the curls at Ilya's neck. He's laughing at a joke from Luca. He rolls his eyes at a chirp from Ilya who in turn presses an exaggerated kiss to his cheek. He's playing mario kart with Wyatt and Young at some point, all of them yelling and swearing loudly. He's holding Ilya's hand in both of his. He's talking to Harris about going back to the restaurant they went to the other day, you guys want to join us? He's hooking his ankle over Ilya's. He's beaming at Harris as he takes a picture of the couple. He's grinning at something Ilya whispers to him in Russia.

After dinner, Hayden's standing on the patio with a beer in his hand watching as Shane and Ilya chase each other around Bood's yard, a spectacle that is accompanied by loud cheers from the rookies that are watching them. At one point Shane full on tackles Ilya and they end up on the grass laughing and wrestling. Wyatt whoops and shouts "Hollzy Rozy wrestling championship back the fuck on!" joining the rookies, half of them chanting "Rozy" while the other is chanting "Hollzy".

And suddenly the weird feeling takes on a painful shape. Because it's not the team or the house that's causing this deep sense of unfamiliarity. It's seeing Shane, happy and carefree with his boyfriend and his friends in a way that Hayden has never really seen before.

[cameoliob]

mwah

[raccoonspew]

When #myshane is overstimulated, he takes off all of his clothes. He can’t stand all the fabrics rubbing against him. It started as a chubby toddler when he would get upset and run around the house (ass naked) while Yuna and David chased him around with pajamas. Shanebug be a big boy and let mommy put on this damn onesie an intensely exhausted Yuna would sigh.

As he grew up he obviously stopped doing it around others, but sometimes after a brutal day at school or a bad practice, in the comfort of his own room, Shane would crawl into clean sheets with nothing on and wait for sleep to take him.

He can and does persevere through the urge, of course, because Shane Hollander is an expert at perseverance.

But after he marries Ilya and starts to accept himself a little more…he has fewer issues with letting himself be comfortable.

Which is how Ilya finds his beautiful husband completely naked (except for glasses) sitting on their couch reading a book, a folded pile of clothing abandoned next to him. He filters through several reactions and settles on bewilderment. Shane looks up and smiles sheepishly.

“Sorry, I just couldn’t take all the textures right now.” He shrugged. “You don’t mind right?”

Ilya understands that this is not sexual, and is a big milestone for Shane’s self acceptance journey, so he is forced to ignore the naked elephant in the room and nod his head. He’s half-hard and so, so proud.

[ramslambsandwolves]

Shane shortly before waking Ilya up at the cottage: ‘Hmmmmm, I can’t trap him with a baby. wait let me google……okay i definitely can’t get pregnant. Hold on…..sea-horse dads?…..nevermind…..can i adopt a baby-trap?…………no I’d just have a kid……………………okay wait what if we like coached some kids? Like they wouldn’t be ours but like- we wouldn’t be able to break-up because of the kids. Am i fucking on drugs? What the fuck am i thinking……..wait………..like a team of kids but it’s like charity…………cause men leave their children all the time but it would be a really bad look to leave a charity……………….i can make a charity and it’ll have kids and we’ll help the kids……..and Ilya likes kids…………and he likes me………..and he’ll wanna stay with me forever….so he’ll be baby trapped AND we’ll be doing a good thing.* “Ilya wake up i have an idea.”

[angelofweirdness]

Yes. This is more of kinda-true-form-but-not-really Cas. I am kinda obssessed with them, don't blame me.

[butimaficwriter]

before dick and kisses

after dick and kisses

from 😾 to 🙂: an ilya rozanov guide to keeping your shane happy

[kaijuerotica]

after dick no kisses

[wheeloffortune-design]

CONTROVERSIAL OPINION ABOUT BISEXUALITY

that purple in the middle is not the right saturation, it doesn't fit with the other two colors and it drives me crazy.

[deus-ex-aquila]

all right, I think I got this, I've got dual citizenship and I have another flag we can borrow from:

step 1

step 2

step 3

[varangianviper]

[wheeloffortune-design]

This is true bi/ace solidarity.

[xthehatchick]

holy shit

[finnslay]

This is the only correct way

[academicblorbo]

Everyone: omg Hollander leash your dog, Ilya is barking at opponent hockey players again

Shane Enabler Hollander: ok so Ilyusha this player has had zero assists in the entire season, he got drafted last, and finally - and this is crucial - he once scored a goal in his own team's net

Ilya Heart Eyes Rozanov: thank you my ShaneWiki this is valuable data, off I go

[jewelcoatfish]

shane (a little tipsy) being cornered by a few fans at a bar one night and they ask him what’s the best thing about coming out, expecting him to say something motivating like self-expression and liberation and shane just goes

“i don’t know, probably that i can have ilya’s photos on my phone now :).”

and the whole of non bigot hockey twt just fucking crash out and montreal metros and crowell gets burned at the stake

[toapoet]

These tags are my fave

[tinylilhollander]

David and Yuna are clearing out their attic, and they come over with a box of Shane's old childhood stuff to see if there's anything Shane (but realistically, Ilya) wants to keep.

As Shane and Ilya are going through the box, Ilya pulls out a little Centaurs branded notebook, with "Shane's Fun Facts!" written on the front in sharpie. Ilya is understandably delighted.

"What is this?" he asks, smiling from ear to ear, quickly yanking it out of the reach of Shane who immediately tries to swipe it out of his hands.

"It's nothing," says Shane, but the way his cheeks have gone pink behind his freckles tells another story.

"Uh-uh. It cannot be nothing if you don't want me to see it this badly."

Turning his back to Shane so he can't easily grab at it, Ilya opens to a random page and reads in Shane's 8-year-old scrawl:

Lightning bolts are five times hotter than the sun. That is very hot!

Ilya is grinning even wider now.

"Wow, Solnyshko, that is a fun fact."

"Fuck off," Shane says. He doesn't even attempt to grab it again, just kind of collapses and bonks his head into Ilya's shoulder. "I used to have trouble making friends as a kid. Dad suggested I start collecting facts to use as icebreakers. Y'know, to get conversations going."

"Did they work?" asks Ilya, tilting his head so that it rests on top of Shane's as his husband gives an almighty sigh.

"I think they made it worse, actually."

Ilya turns to another page and reads it out loud.

"Oology is the study of eggs. It's so cool because it looks like there are three eggs in the word!"

"Oh god," says Shane, burying his face further into Ilya's neck.

"I think you knew all the worst kids in Canada," says Ilya, putting down the book and wrapping his arms around Shane. "Those facts would have worked on me."

"Really?" asks Shane, glancing up at Ilya's face to see if he's teasing him, but Ilya is being perfectly serious.

"Of course. You came up to me and started telling me fun facts straight away, remember? 'I don't think you can smoke here.' 'Wow, Rozanov, you are the best player ever to watch.'"

"Fuck off, I didn't say that," laughs Shane.

"Well, it was something like that," says Ilya, pressing a kiss to the top of Shane's head. "So at least the fun facts worked when it mattered, yes? Imagine where we'd be if you hadn't come over to break the ice."

And Shane tugs Ilya even closer.

"I don't think I want to."

[scunthotter]

Shane and Ilya just sitting on the couch, touching toes, Shane's clearly thinking about something so Ilya annoys it out of him, even though Shane is reluctant cause its gonna come out embarrassingly soft.

"I'm just thinking about when we met. There should have been some sort of sign."

"There was, you pointed out the no smoking sign, was first thing you said."

Shane smiles, "sure but it just seems crazy to me that I met you and no one told me that I'd just met the most important person I'll ever know."

Ilya felt like he'd just been sideswiped by his husband. It was so like Shane to just be thinking the most romantic thing Ilya's ever heard while Ilya's playing candy crush.

"I thought that I'd found the thing that would make me happiest in the world already, and I did, because hockey led me to meeting you. It's just crazy is all"

And well. Ilya can't not fuck him after hearing that.

[waldemarstr]

Have we considered that between Ilya Slavanov and Mr. Autism 3000 this is probably how they look to the outside world even when they're as happy as can be 😭

[c24c24]

Ilya after an Ottawa vs Boston game “Sorry boys, I can’t go out tonight. The old ball and chain wants me home.”

“…You mean Hollzy?”

“First of all, Shane would never chain me down, he picks me up he is the wind beneath my wings. He is the light of my life my moon and my stars. He doesn’t bring me down, he raises me up. Don’t you dare ever fucking suggest that again. I meant Cliff Marlow. We’re cooking him dinner.”

[hymaziie]

[lavenderprose]

I know we joke about it all the time but hotel room walls are...GENUINELY very thin. The bit in the HR novel where Shane and Ilya fuck in the shower so that the water drowns out the sounds actually rang as extremely accurate to me. Like, the lack of boundaries that must exist not just for the Centaurs but for ANYBODY who spends a significant amount of time sharing hotel room walls with their teammates is just unbelievable.

Like, on any given roadie the people sharing walls with the Hollanovs can expect to overhear:

- One side of phone calls between Shane and his mother where every third word is FUCK and Shane's voice gets higher the more he works himself up about whatever league drama is pissing him off that week

- Ilya yelling in Russian (Non sex reasons) (He and Svetlana are talking about Matheson in Colorado. Again.)

- Ilya gets hay fever real bad in Seattle and spends an entire night sneezing at EAR SPLITTING volume, each sneeze followed by a, "AHH!" from Shane as he is startled awake. Again.

- The Christmas wish lists of every Pike child and how they're going to be divvy'd up for the year. This conversation takes place in September.

- "I'm telling you, the penalty kill could be a work of fucking art if Haas--oh fuck, right there, don't stop--"

- As stated before, an objectively obnoxious amount of showering is happening. At one point LaPointe turns to Bood and says something to the effect of, "Crazy that Hollander takes TWO showers after every game, I guess he really is superstitious," and Bood just. Chooses not to engage.

- A thunderous and almighty BANG. This is the sound of Ilya's suitcase hitting the floor after it inevitably slides off the bed.

- "Shaaaaane, look at the livestream from the dog hotel--look at how cute! She is so sleepy, she's holding her banana like a baaaaby--"

- Vin Diesel's voice, unimaginably loud, at one AM

- Russian Yelling (Non sex reasons) (Sasha did something stupid)

- "Unh unh unh UNH UNH UNH--" (Squeak. Squeak.)

- Celtics game. Twenty minutes beforehand: "Fuck, Shane, how do I get ESPN on the stupid--Roku stick thing--"

- "Okay, look, your dad played the word veer--is not real word, right? Like, deer with a V? It's real? Shane, we can't let your dad win--no, it's not cheating, he gets Yuna's help--"

- Stuff about Rose Landry's upcoming film that they should probably all sign NDAs for even thinking about.

- Russian Yelling (Sex reasons. Probably. It sounds...ardent.)

- One time, for an entire night, silence. The day immediately preceeding this night and the morning immediately after are best left unspoken about.

- The sound of Shane's fuckass electric toothbrush for WAY too long. Seriously man it cannot be healthy to brush your teeth for that lo--oh. Got it. Okay. Where are my earbuds.

- "I mean, it's not like I'm sixteen anymore, right? It's just that sometimes I think she looks at me and sees a fucking kid still, and I get it, I get it--and fuck, babe, I know it's not fair to feel this way, she's the only mom I'll ever have, and you don't even--ugh--"

- "I'm so terribly sorry the hotel misplaced your bags, Mister Rozanov. If there's any way that we can...make it up to you..." [Giggle. Kissing sound. Kissing sound. Moan.]

- Banging on the wall and, "KEEP IT DOWN, ROOK," the one. Singular. Time. That Holmberg manages to pull on their West Coast roadie. Which may or may not be the beginning of his villain origin story.

[shougunn]

First post, hello I guess